Summary: Harry realizes his feelings for Hermione and develops an elaborate plan to get her to notice him.
My first story on Portkey! Yay! Anyways, a big thanks to my beta Tawny Spitfyre for fixing all my lazy mistakes, and shame on me if I ignored any of her corrections. And if you don't like it, you can blame Sandra for poking me and making me put this here :P
She WILL be Mine - Part I
Hogsmeade weekend. Two words that can brighten any day, lighten any mood. Well, unless you're a first or second year, or happen to have a wrongly-accused-mass-murderer-who-betrayed-your-parents-but-really-didn't after you. But since I was a seventh year now, and because no one was out to do me in (for a change), those two little words made me a happy camper. Even though Dumbledore, that bastard (not that I'm bitter), decided not to make me Head Boy (because obviously saving the world from Voldemort isn't Head Boy material…did I mention that I wasn't bitter?), in this case it was probably a blessing in disguise. I never could simply kick back and relax in the past, what with the Dursleys and then Voldemort, so I didn't need the responsibility of Head Boy interfering with my desire for some juvenile entertainment. I was also 'of age' now, so I figured it was time for something a bit stronger than butterbeer.
I was eagerly waiting to go, standing in the entrance with my best friend, that redheaded freaky-tall Ron Weasley. We were waiting for our other best friend, Hermione Granger, who, as the years have gone by, seems to take longer and longer to get ready for things. Now, to no one's surprise, Hermione was Head Girl, but I wasn't really worried that she'd be an obstacle to my making a fool out of myself. After all, she knows all the crap I've had in my life, so I thought she'd let me have one night of stupidity, though I was sure I would get a lecture in the morning. Besides, she let me sneak into Hogsmeade when it meant both risking my life and breaking rules, so I doubted she'd have much to say about this.
"God, where is she?" Ron complained, watching as student after student went on their merry way.
"I dunno, but it's definitely cutting into my drinking time!"
Ron laughed. "Whoa! Big talk from a wizard who hasn't ever tasted anything stronger than butterbeer!"
I punched Ron in the shoulder. "Shut it! We'll see who's standing at the end of the night, and who needs to be carried home."
Before Ron could retort, Hermione came bounding up to us. "Sorry," she said lightly. "Ready to go?"
We nodded and headed out towards Hogsmeade, Ron taking the usual jibes at Hermione's punctuality. It really is a mystery; this girl is so anal about being on time for class, and yet she can be counted on to be late for things like a Hogsmeade trip. I just laughed at the familiar light-hearted bickering between my two best friends. Ron checked his watch as we entered the village. "Where to first? We have about an hour before we have to meet the others at Hog's Head."
"Well," I said as we walked, "there's Honeydukes and the Quidditch shop, and the bookstore for Hermione…" I trailed off as I noticed Hermione fidgeting a bit. "What's up, Hermione?"
"Well, I…uh…"
"Spit it out Hermione," Ron said.
"I won't be able to go to Hog's Head with you guys. I sorta have a date…"
Ron and I both stopped walking at the same time, which caused Hermione to stop and look back at the two of us. "A…a date?" I asked incredulously.
"With who?" Ron demanded.
"Ernie. Ernie Macmillan."
I was still in a bit of shock, so I'm glad Ron was able to recover quickly. "Macmillan? Head Boy Macmillan? Why didn't you tell us?" Ron looked upset.
"That's why!" Hermione said. "Because I knew you two would go into 'overprotective older brother' mode, and I would never hear the end of it. Plus, you two would harass poor Ernie."
"We would not," Ron said, sounding affronted. "We'd simply have a chat with him, that's all. Right, Harry? Um…Harry?"
"Uh, yeah," I said, coming out of a daze. "Uh, listen, you just go ahead Hermione. We'll talk about it tomorrow."
Hermione gave me a smile. "Thanks Harry," she said. She gave Ron a glare, and then took off down the street, suspiciously in the direction of Madam Puddifoot's.
"Why'd you do that for?" Ron demanded.
"There's nothing we can do about it now. Let's…let's just go to the Quidditch shop, okay?"
Ron agreed, but he grumbled a bit under his breath along the way. As for myself, it took me a while to figure out exactly what I was feeling. I admit I was pretty shaken when Hermione mentioned her date, but the question was why? Why should I care? Shouldn't I be happy for her? After all, she's my best friend; she's always been there for me in the past, I should be there for her now, supporting her. Just because she's spent her time with us in the past, doesn't mean that she's obligated to always be with us. It's not like I expect her to always be with me, right? It's not like I think she should always be by my side and not with anyone else, unless it's Ron or another girl. It's not like I need Hermione to be with me in order to have fun and be myself, or that I miss her already so much that my initial excitement about the day is gone, or that I suddenly feel like kicking a little Hufflepuff arse. No, it's not because of any of those reasons.
And then, right there in the middle of the Quidditch shop, looking at a pair of Seeker gloves, it struck me: it was all of those reasons, and more. I was in love with her. I was in love with Hermione Granger, my best friend of seven years.
Damn. How did that happen, and why didn't I notice it earlier? And now she was off on a date with that Goddamn Ernie Macmillan. And though that was my most immediate concern, I had a bigger worry: did Hermione view me as anything more than just a friend? Did she even think I was attractive?
I figured I could simply ask her, and then right after that, Snape and I could reminisce about the good times with my Dad over a few butterbeers. No, I was much too deathly afraid of rejection. Since Hermione had never shown that kind of interest in me, I would have to do something to let her know that I'm nothing more than a love machine, or more realistically, that I'm date-worthy material. I needed to come up with a plan. All of a sudden, I understood what Voldemort must have felt like when he was plotting things. I steepled my fingers and gave a little evil laugh. "She will be mine," I said softly, "Oh yes, she will be mine."
"What was that mate?"
Crap. "Um, I said that she will be fine."
"Yeah, probably. Macmillan's a good guy, prim and proper. But we'll still have a little chat with him, right?"
"Of course." We left the Quidditch shop for Honeydukes, and Ron rambled on about something or another. My mind, however, was in high gear, contemplating how best to get Hermione to notice me.
*********
So, predictably, the rest of the night was a bust. Leave it to Hermione to ruin my night of drunken carousing when she's not even there. I knew I couldn't do anything that night short of 'coincidentally' running into them on their date, but I wanted Hermione to notice that I'm a man, not that I'm a jerk. But despite my best efforts, I couldn't stop thinking about Goddamn Ernie Macmillan with my Hermione. Hufflepuffs are supposed to be patient…those hands of his better be patient, or I'll give him a just and loyal fist to the jaw!
Fortunately, no one seemed to notice my preoccupation; the other Gryffindors were either too drunk to notice, or they must have figured that I'm one of those quiet and pensive drunks. I managed to excuse myself early on, and since no one's out to kill me this year - knock on wood - Ron wasn't too concerned. I just happen to be wandering Hogsmeade a bit in the twilight (not because I was looking for Hermione or anything) when I spotted her with Goddamn Ernie Macmillan and a group of seventh year Hufflepuffs. The good news was that she wasn't alone with Goddamn Ernie Macmillan, but the bad news was that she looked like she was having a good time. She didn't see me, so I managed to slink away unnoticed, back to the castle.
I spent the rest of the night devising my grand master plan. Actually, I wasted about two hours trying to think of a cool name for the plan, rather than doing any actual planning. I mean, I just couldn't call it 'The Plan' - that's lame. I needed a good acronym, something that could inspire the troops, and something better than S.P.E.W. I mean, come on! If Voldemort could turn 'Tom Marvolo Riddle' into 'I am Lord Voldemort,' surely I could devise something equally clever. I kept having problems with the 'H' in Hermione; not a lot of words have an 'H' in the middle of them. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything…I blame the butterbeer.
The next step was to actually come up with 'The Plan (name pending)' itself. Now, I didn't intend to change my personality; after all, I wanted Hermione to love me for me, not for some image of me. All I really wanted was just to get Hermione to consider the possibility that raising a bunch of bushy, black haired children with bad teeth and bad eyes with me would be nice. Once she noticed me, then I could rely on the whole best friend thing to convince her that we're soul mates. I decided to start by making a mental list:
Things on my side:
· I've known Hermione for seven years now. I know her better than anyone else, even Ron.
Things against me:
· While I know Hermione the person, I don't really know Hermione the girl. I have no idea what kind of guy she's looking for because that's not the kind of thing we ever talk about.
· Times like these, a father or godfather would come in handy for advice. Alas, I seem to be lacking in both those areas. Lupin would be good, but unfortunately he's off in Australia or something.
· And though this kind of situation calls for a best friend, I obviously can't go to Ron. It's not that I think he likes Hermione; for some reason, that infatuation mysteriously went away right after he was locked in an empty classroom with Lavender. It's just that his 'older brother' mentality will be a hindrance, once he's done laughing at me, of course.
· Asking for advice from anyone else is out of the question. Not only would I not feel comfortable, but given how small the school is, the fact that I fancy Hermione would be common knowledge by Monday.
Looking over the list, I realized that I was pretty much screwed. Not only did I have little idea where to begin, but I had to come up with a plan all on my own, which, based on my prior plans, did not bode well for the future. In the past, my plans generally consisted of:
· Find wand.
· Put wand in hand.
· Attack!
Although, for more complex situations, I might add the step 'get Invisibility Cloak.' Either way, this plan would require just a tad more forethought than my usual effort.
So, what did I know about the kinds of guys that Hermione likes? Did she look for brains, looks, or a sense of humor? Thinking back over the years, I finally identified three men that Hermione had shown an interest in: Gilderoy Lockhart, Victor Krum, and Goddamn Ernie Macmillan. True, I still wasn't one hundred percent clear on what exactly went on between Krum and Hermione, but she did go to the Yule Ball with him, and a sample size of two just wouldn't do at all. So, now all I had to do was figure out what each of the three had in common, and I was all set. No problem, right?
Doomed. I was absolutely doomed.
******