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What was and what could be by bentheslayer
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What was and what could be

bentheslayer

Chapter 3 - Reunion

To both Harry's disappointment and relief, he was not to see Hermione that day. Nor Ron either; there was no sign of them anywhere as Tonks escorted him to Diagon Alley to purchase his new schoolbooks. Harry felt a little annoyed that they hadn't arranged to meet him, as was their usual custom, but he told himself that then again, neither had he so he should not be cross with them. There were hundreds of reasons why they might not be there today.

Harry enjoyed shopping with Tonks, who seemed to take a great interest in every shop they entered ("I'm usually too busy to go shopping," she told him sadly). Soon enough he was carrying several bags and packages: his new schoolbooks, re-supplies for Potions, new robes (as he'd grown a bit in the short time away from Hogwarts) and some owl treats for Hedwig. He saw a few of his schoolmates and was pleased to see them all looking well, Neville particularly looked enthusiastic to see Harry. His nose was all fixed, as he was keen to point out.

"That's great Neville," Harry said. "Um . . . have you happened to see Hermione today? Or Ron?"

"No, sorry Harry. I've only seen Draco Malfoy and his mum over in Madam Malkin's."

Harry's brow furrowed in anger.

"I'm surprised he's even showing his face."

"He did look a bit . . . angry," said Neville. "But then again, he always does. But he didn't look half as bad as his mum."

Harry tried to imagine what life must be like for Narcissa Malfoy at the moment. Then he realised he didn't care.

"Sod the Malfoys."

"Yeah!"

Harry laughed at that. He was glad to see Neville more confident, even if it was only in speaking ill of the Malfoy family. But at that moment he felt an intense pity and sympathy for Neville; there was, Harry thought, a good chance that he would have been a naturally confident and happy boy had his parents not suffered such a horrible fate.

"Me and Tonks are heading back to the Leaky Cauldron for lunch, do you want to come?" Harry asked.

"I can't, my Gran's waiting for me! Thanks for the offer though Harry . . . I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure Neville, see you later."

Harry spent the rest of the day at the Leaky Cauldron with Tonks, chatting about all sorts of things. She didn't bring their conversation about Hermione back up, which he was very glad of indeed. It took him even longer to get to sleep that night.

I'll definitely see her tomorrow, there's no way I can't . . . she has to be on the train back to school . . .

The sick, nervous feeling in his stomach was right with him up until when he finally dropped off to sleep. However he was to find no comfort in his dreams, as he was haunted by the agonising sight of his godfather falling into the mysterious veil again and again; each time it happened he would run to stop it, pelting down the stone steps and flinging out his arms, each time growing closer and closer but to no avail, Sirius' eyes would meet Harry's with a look of terror and then he would be gone, disappearing behind the veil and gone forever. Then it wasn't Sirius falling into the veil anymore, it was Hermione - and she was screaming in fear, yelling his name and clutching for his outstretched hands, and for one tantalising moment their fingertips touched but then she too was gone and all that remained was the veil, floating in some unseen breeze . . . and then laughter, high, cold, cruel laughter that could only belong to one person . . .

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

He sat up suddenly in his bed, wide awake and clutching at his scar which burned with a terrible agony. He was covered in cold sweat and the sick feeling had seemed to have doubled and spread throughout his entire body. His scar had hurt so often but he would never be able to get used to the pain of it, which was unlike anything else he had ever experienced. He realised he was crying, sobbing wretchedly as he clutched at his forehead; the pain was leaving, but slowly. He shuddered in fear as he got control of himself. Seeing Hermione fall like that . . . to think that he might lose her . . .

No, he told himself shakily. I won't let it happen.

The door burst open then and Tonks came in, fully dressed and brandishing her wand.

"You all right Harry?" she said anxiously.

"Yeah," he replied, still shaky. "Yeah, I'm all right . . . just a nightmare . . ."

He blinked away his tears and then found his glasses on the nightstand. It was very dark in the room, and he looked at the window in wonder.

"What time is it?"

"It's just gone nine o'clock, I was just coming to wake you up when I heard you cry out. You sure you're all right?"

"Yeah, I'm okay now . . . nine o'clock?"

"Yep," said Tonks. "Awful weather outside. Haven't seen clouds this black for a good while now. You can't even see the sun!"

That was why it was so dark, Harry thought. He ran one hand through his hair sleepily and stretched with the other.

"Well, as long as everything's okay," said Tonks. "I'll go tell them to get some breakfast ready."

She left, and Harry tried to get himself together as best he could while he dressed. The nightmare had chilled him deeply and he realised, with a sharp stab of pain in his heart, that seeing Hermione fall into the veil - the thought of losing her - grieved him more than losing Sirius ever would . . .

The Hogwarts Express gave a shrill blast of its whistle and a great jet of steam issued from the scarlet engine's funnel. The stragglers were boarding the train as Harry and Tonks materialised through the barrier and quickly made their way over to the train, dragging Harry's trunk behind them.

"Damn this weather!" Tonks said, exasperated. "We almost missed it . . . how do Muggles cope with rain like this?"

She and Harry were both soaked from the torrential downpour. She used her wand to blast hot air out and quickly dried him out, before helping him lug his trunk to the nearest carriage. The porter was walking down the platform, signalling the 'all aboard'.

"Listen Harry," she said. "You're safe at Hogwarts, and things are a bit different from last year, but you still take care all right? We all need to keep our guard up . . ."

"I will Tonks, don't worry, and thanks for everything . . ."

"Oh, no problem Harry, my pleasure. I'll try to come and visit you all if I can, no promises though."

"That'd be great, Tonks."

He was about to close the carriage door when she stopped him, holding it open.

"One more thing, Harry."

"What's that?"

Tonks grinned at him.

"Tell her!"

Harry blushed and, with a grin, shut the door. The train had begun to move and he offered a final wave to her. Tonks waved back and then with a small crack she Disapparated.

He began to drag his trunk along, searching for a space among the carriages. They were packed full to bursting, and he was forced all the way to very last carriage before finding room. The weather was so bleak it felt like night-time still and the lamps on the train had been lit, giving the compartments a cosy feeling. Harry came to the last compartment and found Lavender, Parvarti and Padma Patil.

"Room for me?" he asked them, smiling.

"Hi Harry," Pavarti and Lavender chorused. Padma smiled friendily at him and he took their response for a yes, so he heaved his trunk up onto the rack above and set Hedwig's cage down on the seat next to him carefully. Parvarti and Padma had already begun a game of Exploding Snap.

"How have you been, Harry?" Lavender asked.

"I've . . . been better, to be honest, Lavender."

She looked at him sympathetically. Harry wondered how much they knew . . . of course the wizarding community was now well aware of Voldemort's return, and the three girls had all been members of the DA and proved they had believed in Voldemort's return long ago, but he wondered if any of his fellow students knew the exact details of what happened at the Ministry of Magic that night . . . what had happened, who had been hurt, and who had been lost . . .

He could tell that they wanted to ask him loads of questions. Their game of Exploding Snap had already been abandoned, and each of the girls were now watching him intently. He felt very awkward indeed.

"Harry-" Parvarti began, but he cut her off.

"Listen," he told them, "I know you must want to ask loads of questions . . . I don't blame you either, as I'd want to know what happened too, but I'm sure Dumbledore will talk to the school about it and I'd rather you'd hear it from him. He'll be able to tell you about it much better than me . . . and to be honest, I don't really want to talk about it."

He expected some resentment at this, but to his surprise there was none.

"That's all right, Harry," said Lavender. "It's all been in the Daily Prophet anyway but, well, it's not the same as hearing it from someone who was there, is it?"

"Sorry," Harry said, and he meant it. This wasn't the usual irritating gossip that Lavender and Pavarti seemed to thrive on, which he would normally be keen to ignore, but actually really important stuff that he thought, really, that everyone should have a right to know. But he had no desire to talk about it with them at that moment. The events re-played themselves in his mind so often that he would rather avoid them as much as he could.

He was wondering just how he was going to steer the conversation around to something more neutral when suddenly all the lamps in the compartment went out, plunging them into pitch darkness. The three girls yelped, more in surprise than fear.

"What's going on?" Parvarti said.

"Well, I'd have thought it was quite obvious, but the lamps seem to have gone out," said Padma.

"Very funny, sis."

It was so dark outside the window that they couldn't see anything, but Harry could still feel the swaying and rattling of the carriage so it was obvious they hadn't stopped. He pulled out his wand.

"Lumos."

The light from the tip of his wand illuminated Parvarti and Lavender's worried faces.

"Relax," Harry told them. "We've not long left the station, it can't be anything serious. I'll go have a look."

He stepped out of the compartment, holding his wand high so that the light pierced as much of the darkness as possible. He could hear a confused babble of voices; some sounded scared, others laughing, some just plain puzzled. He could see other compartments lit with wand-light, and a few heads were popping out of compartment doors to see what was going on. Behind him Lavender stuck her head out, holding her own lit wand.

"Be careful, Harry!"

"It's only the lights, Lavender . . ."

"It could be . . . it could be You-Know-Who!"

Harry rolled his eyes and set off down the carriage; he greeted those people he knew who were looking out of their compartments, and walked past others whose occupants didn't seem to care about what was going on. He decided he'd better head towards the front of the train, as maybe the driver or the witch who pushed the trolley might know what was going on. He entered the next carriage and here there were no heads sticking out, all the compartments were filled with wand-light and chatting voices - except one which was still pitch black. He opened the door of the compartment and his wand's light immediately revealed a group of terrified looking first years, who all shrank back from him in fear.

"It's all right," said Harry, "no-one's going to hurt you, they must be just having a problem with the lamps . . . why are you sitting in the dark anyway?"

They didn't answer, so afraid were they.

"Oh of course, you won't even have learned lumos yet . . . well, stay here, I'll go and find someone . . ."

He carried on and entered the third carriage; here there were more heads sticking out of compartment doors.

"Heya Harry!" called Seamus Finnigan. "What d'ya reckon's happening then?"

"Hi Seamus," Harry said as he passed. "I don't know, I'm off to find out . . . all right, Neville?"

Neville's head had appeared next to Seamus's and he smiled weakly at Harry.

"It's a bit spooky, this," he said to Seamus as Harry moved on. "Last time all the lights went out there were Dementors . . ."

Harry silently thanked Neville for giving him the thought of Dementors on board the train again and pushed it out of his mind. He'd got a bit further down when he saw someone else approaching but he couldn't see who it was as the light coming from their wand-tip was very bright and it hurt his eyes slightly. He stopped and raised his free arm to shield his eyes, wondering who it could be, and then a voice floated down the corridor to him . . . a voice that could only belong to one person, a voice that made his stomach turn over and his heart flutter at the same time . . . her voice.

Hermione!

"It's all right, everyone," Hermione was calling out as she passed each compartment, "just a bit of a problem with the lamps, nothing to worry about . . ."

As she got closer she moved her wand and the light was no longer shining in his eyes; he could see her now, peering in at each compartment she passed. She wore her Hogwarts robes, her silver Prefect's badge twinkling in the wand-light, and her hair (still as bushy as ever) looked a little longer perhaps, but it was the same Hermione. He grinned as he stood there watching her approach.

Of course it's the same Hermione, he thought, she won't have changed much in two months . . . weird how it feels like it's been so much longer than that . . .

Hermione turned away from the compartment nearest to her, apparently satisfied that everyone in there was all right, and finally caught sight of him standing there with a huge grin on his face.

"HARRY!"

Harry's heart leapt as she flat-out ran down the corridor and launched herself into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tight to him. There was no need for either of them to say anything; Harry felt her arms round his neck and he revelled in her embrace, feeling the warmth and softness of her body against his, smelling the faint flowery smell of whatever shampoo she had used on her hair, marvelling at the sheer pleasure that the simple feeling of her cheek against as own brought as they hugged.

"I've missed you," he said.

"I've missed you too," she told him, and then gave him a kiss on the cheek as they broke apart. He took her in; her brown eyes seemed to sparkle in the wand-light and she looked even more beautiful than he remembered, if that was possible. She was beaming with pleasure, and Harry felt a touch of pride (and hope) that it was meeting him that had brought her such delight.

"How was Privet Drive?" she asked, becoming more serious.

"Awful, but I wouldn't expect it be anything other than that."

"I'm so sorry that I didn't write you more than I did, I felt awful with you all there on your own and Ron wrote and told me that you weren't allowed to go and see him and Ginny, that was really bad but I'm sure there's a good reason for it Harry, and-"

"It's all right, Hermione, don't worry about it!" he told her, smiling.

Why was I so worried about talking to her? he thought to himself. Where have all those nerves gone?

"It was boring mostly, to tell the truth. I basically just sat in my bedroom for two months."

"Oh, Harry . . ."

"Bet you weren't as bored as me," said another familiar voice, and Harry broke out into another smile as Ron came up behind Hermione carrying his own lit wand. He and Harry clapped each other on the back good-naturedly in way of greeting. Ron had grown again, as he always seemed to do over the summer, and now he was positively lanky. He couldn't outgrow his freckles though. His trademark Weasley red hair had been cropped quite short which, Ron informed him later, was "all the rage".

"I bet you I was," Harry said. "At least you got to play Quidditch!"

"Yeah, well . . . couldn't go much higher than ten feet though could I? Really puts a dampener on your game."

"Not to mention Ginny scoring past you all the time," Hermione said teasingly.

"Shut up, Hermione."

Harry laughed. He was so glad to be back in the company of his friends.

"So what's going on with the lamps?"

"Oh, well, it's quite embarrassing actually," said Hermione. "The lamps aren't magical, you see? They run off normal Muggle gas."

"And the berks only forgot to fill up didn't they?" Ron finished. "There's none left on the train, so until they come up with something we're supposed to go and check that everyone's all right and . . oh Merlin, the first years!"

Realisation seemed to have dawned on his face.

"We're supposed to find all the first years, see, 'cause they won't have any way of making light."

"But they're all over the place," said Hermione. "There's no organisation to this train, honestly . . ."

"We've found all but one group of them," said Ron.

"They're back down there," Harry told him. "In the next carriage. They looked a bit . . ."

"Scared?"

"Terrified."

Ron swore.

"Bloody pests, we're already having to look after them . . . sometimes I don't like being a Prefect."

He stomped off down the corridor. As he passed one compartment a grinning Seamus stuck his head out again:

"Hey Ron! You're a Prefect, come here and tell Ginny and Dean to stop snogging in front of us!"

Harry and Hermione both laughed at Ron's roar of rage, but he carried on into the next carriage towards the scared first years. Harry turned back to her and found himself content to just look at her. All of the panic and nervousness he had been feeling for the last few days seemed to have gone and he couldn't figure out why, but then a voice inside his head spoke to him. It was what he had grown to think of as his voice of reason and it had often spoke to him in Hermione's voice. It sounded just like his own this time, but there was no denying it was the same one.

Because it's Hermione, the voice told him. She's one of your best friends, and there's no need for you to feel nervous around her.

Of course there wasn't, Harry thought to himself. Why had he got himself so worked up?

"Harry, are you all right?"

She was looking at him with concern, although there was still a small, somewhat shy-looking smile on her face. He'd obviously drifted off in his thoughts for a moment.

"Sorry Hermione, I'm fine, I was just thinking that's all."

He found himself wanting very badly to tell her how he felt at that moment, while the nerves were still nowhere to be found. But no, he thought, this isn't the time or place. Not in a dark, rattling train carriage with all his schoolmates near them and Ron no doubt about to re-appear at any moment. He didn't know when the perfect opportunity would present itself, if it would at all, but this definitely wasn't it.

"Shall we find somewhere to sit down?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, good idea, you can tell me all about America! Can we go into the Prefect's carriage? I've always wondered what that's like."

"Um, that's not such a good idea," she said.

"Why? I'm not allowed?"

"No, it's not that, we're allowed to invite other students in, it's just . . ."

"What, Hermione?"

"Malfoy's in there."

Harry's brow creased in anger.

"The little weasel isn't lifting a finger to help, either," Hermione said crossly.

"We'll go back to my compartment then, I'm in there with Pavarti and Lavender and Padma Patil."

"Okay then, let's go find Ron. I hope he hasn't frightened those first years even more . . ."