There wasn't a day that went by where she didn't dread waking up. No matter how long ago those few, short weeks were, she still had that same icy feeling in the pit of her stomach that everything she'd gone through was simply a dream and nothing more.
Hermione made her way to the Great Hall as she had every morning since the start of term and her eyes immediately swept over her classmates at the Gryffindor table. She stopped in mid stride at the sight of him. Harry was there the morning after they'd kissed, but the following few months he'd disappeared for several hours each day. She felt abandoned and alone, not being able to talk to him about everything that had happened. She refocused her attention to the present and looked back to the table.
He was talking animatedly with her and their mutual best friend about something, probably Quidditch. He was smiling and laughing at some private joke the three of them shared. She put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him away playfully and Hermione's stomach began to squirm.
She felt anger build within her as she made her way to the table.
Calm down ... Calm down ... They're not together, that wasn't a real relationship ... She told herself over and over as the distance closed between them.
Ron caught sight of her as she was making her way past the end of the table and said something to Harry who stopped what he was doing and turned to face the direction that Ron pointed.
Hermione's eyes met his and, as it did every time she looked into his bright green eyes, her heart stopped in mid beat. With the unspoken contact a wide, bright smile crossed Harry's face and he stood when she stopped moving. Hermione was terrified that everything they'd gone through wasn't real and that feeling of horror was washed away when Harry took her hand.
When did he reach her? She couldn't say. She was so entranced by the young man before her that all time seemed to stop and nothing else mattered.
"Hermione? Are you coming?" Harry asked quietly in her ear.
Hermione blushed slightly. "Yes, sorry, I was thinking about something."
With a laugh and a quick kiss on the cheek, Harry guided her to the seat next to him.
Just another kiss on the cheek ... She thought glumly.
"What were you guys talking about?" Hermione asked with a forced smile. "Quidditch again?"
Ron grinned in reply. "A bit of that, yes." He said with a knowing look to Harry who blushed instantly.
Hermione looked at the two of them. She didn't like being kept out of the loop and the anger she felt before started to build again when Ginny leaned forward.
"We were also talking about the Valentine's Day trip to Hogsmeade." She said with a blush. "Nobody's asked me yet ..." Her eyes flicked to Harry for a moment before she sighed and sat back up.
Her anger reached its previous level and began to spill over. "Isn't today Valentine's Day?" She asked through almost gritted teeth.
Harry turned to her with a curious smile. "I-It is." He said quietly. "Listen, would tonight be a good time to talk? Could we meet in the room of requirement?"
Why's he so nervous? Hermione growled to herself. Unless everything was a dream ... She sighed and nodded. "20:00 ok?"
"I was thinking 18:00." Harry said with a smile. "We can have dinner there as well."
She looked up at him and found that his eyes were unreadable. "Ok." She said simply. "I'm going to the library to catch up on my assignments."
"Hermione, you've done so much homework the past few months that I wouldn't be surprised if you've gotten next years assignments finished as well!" Ron said with a laugh. "Why don't you take a day off?"
Hermione shot a look at him that spoke in volumes what she thought of that idea. Ron blanched and cleared his throat.
"Right then, study away." He croaked to Harry and Ginny's laughter.
Hermione walked slowly out of the Great Hall and looked back to the three of them hunched over the table. Ginny covered her mouth and laughed silently at something that Harry had said. A strong sadness replaced the anger that had been slowly rising in her and without another word, Hermione turned and left for the library.
I guess it was all a dream ... She sighed to herself.
What do you mean? A dream? Harry's voice echoed in her head.
He doesn't act the way a boyfriend should ... She retorted. Look how he's acting around Ginny, that should be me ...
Be that as it may, it couldn't have been a dream!
How do you know? Stranger things have happened ... She sighed in resignation ... Ginny acts like nothing's even happened ...
You know that she lost a good deal of her memory when she was cured ...
Hermione shook her head ... But Harry hasn't acted like he did when I woke up ... She looked up and found she was at the library already. "May as well get some studying done." She whispered sadly under her breath. With a resigned sigh she set her bag down at a free table and pulled out the assignments for the end of the term and began writing.
"Hermione?"
She felt a hand on her shoulder and realized someone was trying to gently shake her awake. "What?" She said sleepily. "What time is it?"
"You've got five minutes before you meet Harry." Ron said non-plussed. "I've been looking all over for you."
Hermione stretched her sore muscles and started packing her books away. "You knew I would be here." She said evenly. "Do you know what he wants?"
Ron hid a smile and shook his head. "He wouldn't tell me. He said something about you being able to beat it out of me because you hate being kept out of the loop."
"He's right, you know." She said with a sly grin. "How's Ginny doing? Still having the nightmares?" She asked nonchalantly as she got to her feet and made sure she had everything.
Ron let out an exhausted sigh. "She might have to stay on dreamless sleep potions all her life." He said glumly. "When she woke up after the operation, the mediwizards thought she'd have to be admitted to the long-term care section of the mental ward."
Hermione gave him a sympathetic smile and followed it with a quick hug. "I can't believe she doesn't remember any of it."
Ron nodded. "It's like everything that went on over the summer never happened. It's like all of this has been one long nightmare ..." His eyes became unfocused and then he shuddered after a moment.
Hermione looked at him concernedly. "Are you ok, Ron?"
He came out of his reverie and smiled reassuringly. "I'm fine." He said quietly. "I can relate to her dreams."
Hermione pulled him into a tight hug. "Everything will be fine, Ron."
He hugged her back then just as quickly pushed her away. "You need to go meet Harry." He said with a grin, not bothering to hide it this time.
Hermione sighed. "Ron? Do you know why Harry's been avoiding me since we found out about Ginny?"
Ron shook his head. "He's been avoiding me too." He admitted with a shake of his head. "The only thing I've noticed is that Ginny seems to be gone whenever he is."
Hermione stiffened at the news. What? "Please don't tell me ..."
Ron laughed nervously. "Oh, I don't think it has anything to do with that." He smiled at her reassuringly as they walked up another flight of stairs. "Ginny seems to be pining after him like her old self, you saw her drop the hint that she wasn't asked to Hogsmeade yet."
Hermione nodded as the anger she felt earlier began to build again, along with a sharp pang of jealousy that seemed to be stabbing at her heart. "Why are they disappearing together?" She asked quietly. "He distanced himself from us ..."
Hermione looked up to see the familiar tapestry across from the room of requirement. As it had been doing lately, time seemed to have sped her along faster than she had anticipated. She turned to finish her question but Ron was already at the end of the hall waving to her.
Great ...
Hermione walked up and down the hall concentrating on the door to the hidden room. With each pass she could feel the magic that kept the room out of sight until it was needed begin to take effect and, before she knew it, the door was standing in plain sight in front of her. With a deep breath, she opened it and looked into a room of pure, inky, darkness.
"Harry?" She called out uncertainly.
"Come in and close the door, Hermione." She heard him say from somewhere in front of her. She took a deep breath and with a shaky step, she entered the room and let the door close behind her.
Her breath caught in her throat when the dim light of the candles along the wall erupted to life and illuminated the scene before her with a soft, flickering glow. Her bag dropped to the floor and she looked around the room with stinging eyes.
There was a table set for two in the middle of the floor. Rose petals seemed to have been thrown randomly around the room to cover anything that had a horizontal surface. The fireplace was alive with orange and blue flames with Harry standing next to a soft, leather sofa near the hearth. His smile grew wider at her reaction and he walked to her when it was obvious she wasn't able to move.
"These are for you." He said quietly. She looked down at the bouquet of tulips and lilies and wiped away the tears that had begun to wind their way down her cheeks.
"Harry? What is all this?" She asked tentatively as she took the flowers from him. She looked expectantly into his dancing emerald eyes and felt her knees go weak when he put his arms around her waist.
"I'm sorry I haven't been around much." He said quietly. His eyes clouded over and his smile faded.
No, bring back that smile!
He lowered his head and let out a troubled sigh.
"Harry, what's wrong?" She put an arm around him and guided him to the sofa where he buried his face in his hands.
After a moment, he took a deep breath. "You should know, that Ginny and I ..."
Hermione tensed but refused to move even though her doubts started flooding through her mind. She did what she felt she needed to and put a hand on his thigh even though the jealousy returned and she could feel her anger rise again.
He covered her hand with his and cleared his throat. "Ginny and I have been going to St. Mungo's for additional treatment each night." He said quietly. "It seems that the pheromones and chemicals those brains give off have some lasting effects."
"W-What kind of effects?" Hermione said evenly, barely keeping the growl out of her voice.
Harry looked her in the eyes. "They affect the brain and how it processes emotion." He bowed his head. "That's one of the reasons I lost it when you woke up ..."
Hermione's heart sank. He doesn't really love me? That kiss was a side effect of being controlled?
"I wasn't fully in control of my emotions at that time and my body has been reacting to the chemicals since then ..." He looked at her sadly when she pulled her hand from his.
"So everything that happened ... it was all some side effect?!" Hermione spat at him. "Is that why you've been ignoring me? Because you ..."
Harry answered her question the only way he knew how. Hermione's eyes were wide when she realized that he was kissing her again and to her astonishment, her anger quickly dissipated and she found herself returning the much needed contact with a tight embrace.
To her regret, Harry pulled back and held her at arm's length. "Can I finish?" He asked quietly. Hermione nodded her reply. "We've been going to St. Mungo's for treatment. Professor Dumbledore allowed us to floo there every evening.
"We were both seeing psychologists to help us with the emotional trauma we'd been going through. It was suggested that we distance ourselves from our friends and loved ones so that we could better adjust and come to grips with what we were dealing with."
"Why didn't you tell us?" She asked quietly.
Harry looked to the fire and sighed. "I thought it would be better that way. I couldn't stand being away from you and it got to the point where I was getting really possessive and territorial ... Professor Dumbledore picked up on how I was acting and got me some help."
"You've been going to St. Mungo's all this time?" Hermione asked worriedly. "I was wondering if you'd abandoned me ..."
Harry pulled her into a tight hug. "I'd never abandon you, Hermione." He said quietly into her ear. "Even when Gin ... Even when I was being controlled I wanted to be near you."
She felt tears start to form again and pulled him into a tighter hug. After a moment she pulled back and looked at him sternly. "Do you expect to just kiss me, give me flowers, and then suddenly be ok with everything that I've gone through these past couple of months?"
Harry looked hurt. "I don't expect you to forgive me for anything." He said quietly. "It was my fault that all this happened ..."
WHAT?!
Hermione looked at him incredulously. "What in the bloody hell are you talking about?"
Harry fidgeted then turned to the fire. "If I ... If I hadn't dragged everyone to the Department of Mysteries in the first place, Ginny wouldn't ..."
"You had no control over what happened to Ginny, Harry. She didn't have any control over it either." Hermione said softly. "It's sad that she's going to have nightmares for the rest of her life, but it was most certainly not your fault!"
Harry looked at her with a profound sadness lingering in his eyes but he smiled genuinely. "I do love you, Hermione." He said in a quiet voice. "That's not going to change and it tore me apart to be away from you ..." He sighed and looked to his hands that were folded in his lap. "I finished my treatment this morning and it was just in time for Valentine's Day."
Despite what had happened the past few months, Hermione's heart swelled when she heard him tell her that he loved her. She took his hand and pulled it to her lips where she kissed the back of it gently. He turned his hand over and she kissed his palm before he slid his hand over her cheek and cupped it against her face. She glanced at him and felt her heart begin to beat faster and faster as his face leaned in towards hers. Heat began to spread up her cheeks and down every limb until it felt like her skin was on fire. Her lips broke apart slightly and she gasped when his lips pressed into hers ever so slightly and his hand pulled her into him.
Her eyes closed and for the longest time she could only feel the heat of his body pressed against hers and watched sparkling lights dance merrily behind her eyelids. Her body began to tremble as her arms slid around his neck and she felt him pull her into a tight hug as he lifted her into his lap.
She didn't know how long they had kissed or noticed anything else aside from the young man that was in her arms. When they finally broke apart, she felt a part of her disappear with the loss of contact. She slowly opened her eyes and looked to the smiling face of the one person that could make her whole.
"I love you too, Harry."
A/N: Ok, that's that! Hope you got a little bit of closure and sorry for the bit of angst ... I want to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews and comments and I would like to truly apologize for the way that Harry and Ginny got along ... As you can see, it wasn't anything that truly got in the way of Harry and Hermione's feelings, just another bump In the road for them to deal with and only made their relationship stronger.