Sighs
Chapter 2
A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, first off, it's a sign for me to keep writing this. In response to the reviews, however, certain things need to be said.
This will be an H/Hr fanfic. It's all I write. And pretty much all I read. Thank you for the clarification on Ron's name, I wasn't too sure. Hermione IS an evil bitch in the first chapter, but hey, she spent 4 days in the clutches of Voldemort, who KNOWS how important Hermione is to Harry. And Harry's usually the one to rescue her. So when he doesn't it's a little slap of reality.
It'll get better though! I promise!
More OOC in this one. I forgot to mention that in my summary. I suck with summaries. Sorry.
Warning: Information about Hermione's time in Voldemort's clutches is revealed. It's a bit of a shocker so I'm bumping up the rating.
Now. On to the story.
"I don't care."
Three words. It's actually rather amazing how three tiny little words could do so much damage. After a week, the amount of damage had become apparent. It was MASSIVE.
Ron sat in the Great Hall, early for a change, with only a few other people there.
'She doesn't care? She's ALWAYS cared! How could she not care!? Doesn't she know what it's doing to Harry? To HER?'
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Ron looked around, hoping that no one had noticed his little outburst. One or two people looked over, but quickly turned back when they noticed the look he was giving his plate. The Great Hall's doors opened, and more students marched in. As the stream of students tapered off, a lone person could be seen trudging in, his head down, exuding an aura of sadness and loss.
Harry.
He took a seat at the end of the table and started to put food on his plate. Never once did he look up, and never once did that feeling of emptiness surrounding him dim.
Ron sighed. Watching Harry sit there staring at his plate had made him lose his appetite. Knowing Ron, and his penchant for food, this was no small feat. Pushing his plate away from him, Ron decided that it was time for action.
Ron was LONG overdue for a good talk with Hermione.
Hermione lay in her bed in the hospital wing, waiting for Madame Pomfrey to return. She had books, care of Draco, and parchment. If she couldn't do anything else, she might as well get further ahead in all her classes. No harm in being prepared right? She was concentrating so hard that she didn't hear Ron enter, and didn't even notice him until he was standing right next to her bed.
"HERMIONE!"
Hermione started, spilling her inkpot all over the bed.
"AH! Ron! You scared me! Look what you made me do! I spilled ink everywhere!"
Ron smirked. And it wasn't a 'Ron' smirk; it was a Malfoy smirk.
"Well, it's not like it really matters anyway. One, you're a witch. A simple spell, and everything's neat again! And two, you've written the same like 25 times. I think that the inkpot is the least of your worries right now. And besides, we need to talk."
Inwardly, Hermione groaned. The way that Ron said talk meant only one thing. This wasn't going to be a talk about quidditch or homework. This was going to be the talk that she had dreaded all week. This was going to be about Harry.
"Ron, Not now. I'm tired, and I don't want to hear it." Hermione hoped that this would be enough to dissuade Ron. But if it wasn't, well she had insurance. She added a Death Glare to make sure.
Neither worked.
"Oh no. We're talking about this now. Because it's starting to get on my nerves. Harry trudged into the Great Hall this morning, and I swear, every living thing within a 30 foot area started to hate themselves. And how can you not care!? You've ALWAYS cared. That's what this whole thing has been about right? The fact that you care, more than you should! Or want to, I suppose. How can you just declare that you 'Don't care' like that! We BOTH count on you to care! I mean, come on! You make everyone around you want to do better! Just look at me! I'm doing OK in school. Well…I could be doing better, I know, but still! I'm better than I was 4 years ago! And it's because of you! And MALFOY! He's changed! And it was because of YOU. No one else. Of course, it did help that you swore that if he ever called you a mudblood again, you'd take away his ability to have children. But that's not the point! The point is, this isn't like you. I don't understand how you can act like this and blow off the rest of the world!"
Hermione was stunned. She hadn't been yelled at like that since, well, EVER. Her anger started to build, and she opened her mouth to respond.
"I'm not done. NO! You're going to sit there and you're going to listen. You can hex me all you like when I'm done, but this needs to be said."
Her mouth snapped shut and she nodded. Ron was serious, and when Ron was serious, you paid attention or you got the hell out of the way. Since she couldn't move, listening was the only course open to her.
"I know that Harry wasn't there for you when you needed him. But there are 15 families out there that are alive because of what he did. One of them is mine. Another is yours. He captured Lucius Malfoy. He's been practicing Occlumency so his scar doesn't react when Voldemort's feeling a powerful emotion. Or something like that. He knew that in the scheme of things, he's just one man. He's just one person. And so are we. And when that's weighed against our families, ANY family, a thing he's never had, they outweigh a single life. Now, granted, your life is more important to him than most other people's, but still, you would have done the same thing. You would have looked at the bigger picture and done what was right, and you know it. But now you condemn him for doing that? For finally learning that it was most likely a trap set for him to waltz right into? How DARE you. You're KILLING him. He's sitting in the Great Hall, staring at his plate. I'm sure that with the look he was giving it, the plate isn't feeling so good about itself right now. In fact, it probably wishes it could dash itself against a wall. When was the last time you saw him? When he was in here? He's not HARRY anymore. He's some mindless shell, going through the motions of being Harry Potter, but he's NOT. You're part of who he is, and without you, it's like there's nothing left! GOD DAMMIT HERMIONE! YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THIS! I KNOW YOU ARE!"
Hermione was speechless. Ron was REALLY serious about this. But her anger surfaced again and this time, it would not be abated.
"You think it's easy, knowing that he doesn't put you first? That you know what he did was right, and what he did was for the best? HE LEFT ME ALONE RON! I WAS TORTURED AND LEFT TO DIE! AND HE WASN'T THERE! HARRY'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME! ALWAYS! NO MATTER WHAT! And then…and then…"
Hermione paused, gulping in air, trying to breathe, trying desperately to hold back the tears,
"I LOVED HIM AND HE LEFT ME TO DIE! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL! TELL ME! WHEN THE PERSON YOU LOVE CARES MORE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REACT!? I KNOW what he did was right. And I KNOW that he didn't know about me, but it doesn't make the memory go away. It doesn't make the pain go away. It's still there."
She pulled up her shirt. Ron gasped and turned white. Horrible scars laced her belly, and when she flipped over, he gagged. There were hideous white lines everywhere. Scar trails. From what was undoubtedly a whip.
"They may never fade Ron. They may be there for the rest of my life, to remind me of what I went through to ensure that my family, your family, and Harry would be safe. I didn't tell them ANYTHING. And each time I refused to tell them something……They STILL hurt. Why do you think I've been in here so long? I have these, because my love for Harry, my connection to him, wasn't strong enough. He didn't care enough about me to…"
"hermione…Oh god. Oh my god. I didn't…Oh god."
Hermione's head whipped around to stare at Harry. He stumbled over to her bed and collapsed next to it.
"Oh my god. Hermione…they…I…no…oh god." He leaned towards her and wrapped his arms around her.
"I'm so sorry. Oh god I'm sorry. I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me? Oh god."
Ron gasped for air. How could he not have noticed? What kind of friend was he, yelling at her when things like this had been done to her?!
"Hermione, I'm so sorry for yelling at you. I didn't know. I…oh god, forgive me. I'm so sorry." He leaned in, and her arms went around both of them.
Together they cried.
Outside, Madame Pomfrey closed the Hospital Wing doors quietly, leaving the three to themselves.