Disclaimer: You know the drill - I don't own any of the characters, no money is being made etc…
A/N: Firstly I'd like to thank my wonderful Beta Ella_Marie, I'm indebted to you hon! Secondly I want to thank everyone who's reviewed - your support is so encouraging, thank you very much for all of your kind words. Lastly I'd just like to mention something that Ella pointed out to me which I realised I haven't explained: this story has a kind of generic timeline. That's why there are some mentions of OotP stuff (Cho) but Fred and George are still around, and why Harry and Ron are still taking Divination. I didn't want to tackle all the post-Phoenix stuff again, so I just made the timeline generic. Hope that clears things up a bit!
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Chapter 2 - A Bit Of A Mess
Harry's eyes widened in complete surprise; surely Lavender hadn't just said what Harry thought she'd said. He looked from the two grinning gossips to Ginny, who was smiling gently in a way he supposed she hoped was comforting. Then he turned to Ron, who looked like he'd been hit by not one but both bludgers to the stomach. He was very white.
"Could you say that again?" Harry asked, finally finding his voice.
"Of course," said Lavender, clearly taking great delight in his request. "We asked Hermione if she'd rather have her first kiss with you or Ron, and she chose you."
Right. So she did say what I thought she said.
Harry was at a loss for words. Of all the things he'd considered that could be troubling Hermione, of all the things that he'd thought might've made her not want to talk to them, he never in a million years would have considered this to be the reason . . .
"She . . . she chose Harry?" Ron spoke up finally. He was very quiet.
"Merlin, I think he's got it," said Parvati.
"Oh, Hermione is going to be so angry with us," Ginny said.
"They would have found out eventually," Lavender said to her. "At least it's out in the open now, it's got to be better now, right?"
She looked around at them for encouragement but found only shell-shock in the faces of the two boys.
"I think our work here is done," Parvati said to her best friend. "Come on, we still need to update our dream diaries before Divination tomorrow."
The two girls departed. Ginny sat watching the two boys in silence, torn between what to do. Harry looked incredibly confused and she couldn't blame him - the poor boy was so incredibly adept at some things but hopeless when it came to girls, and she didn't doubt that he was at that moment trying to get his head around the fact that Hermione had said she wanted to kiss him. Her brother, on the other hand, was a different case entirely. Ginny had seen through his obvious crush on Hermione a long time ago, and she reckoned that Ron would be surprised that she knew exactly how he was feeling at that moment. She'd had a crush on Harry for a long time, and it had hurt to hear about his longing for Cho Chang. Not that he and Ron had ever been aware of her listening outside Ron's bedroom door at the Burrow, that is. But she knew how he must be feeling. To be told that the person you like doesn't want you, that they want someone else . . .
After a few moments she left as well. She could think of nothing to say that would be of any use. She swallowed slightly as she made her way up to the girls dorms. Now she had to tell Hermione that they'd revealed the secret of her embarrassment . . .
Harry and Ron sat in silence for a long time. Both boys were trying to process this new information and understand what it meant, not realising that it meant different things for both of them. Without meaning to they both got up and made their way up to their dormitory at the same time. Alone in the familiarity of their dorm, without the prying eyes and ears of the other Gryffindors, it was easier to speak.
"Well," Harry said as he sat down on his bed, "that was . . . unexpected."
"You can say that again," said Ron, pacing alongside his own bed slowly.
"Why would," Harry began, faltering slightly at the sight of Ron's unhappy-looking face, "why would Hermione say she wants to kiss me?"
"Well I would have thought that was bloody obvious," Ron said hotly, flopping down onto his bed and staring at Harry. "She fancies you."
"What?"
"She fancies you! She must do. That's why she picked you and . . . and not me."
He deflated as he said this. Harry, seeing his friend's reaction, suddenly made sense of a lot of little things he'd noticed over the years and something clicked inside his head.
"You fancy Hermione, don't you?"
"No!" Ron said, a little too quickly. His face was fast turning the same colour as his hair.
Harry felt a great wave of sympathy for his best friend at that moment. He realised, sadly, that this revelation from Hermione was yet another thing that Ron would see as Harry "beating" him at something. In this case, it would seem that he had beaten Ron for the affections of the girl he likes, without even knowing it.
"And what about you?" Ron asked suddenly, bringing Harry out of his thoughts.
"What about me?"
"Do you . . . do you like Hermione too?"
He asked this rather timidly, and Harry was about to reply straight away that of course he didn't, he only saw Hermione as a friend and could never imagine her as anything else, when something stopped him. It was true that he had never considered Hermione as anything more than a friend . . .
Hadn't he?
What had that little spark of excitement been then, when he'd heard Lavender say that Hermione had chosen him? Why did the prospect of kissing Hermione, the thing he'd been thinking about the most since the revelation, seem like the most wonderful thing in the world?
Ron continued to stare at him, watching as Harry puzzled out his reply in his head.
All right, let's think about this Potter. I don't fancy Hermione, do I? I mean, surely I would have noticed before now if I did. All right, she's the girl I'm the most comfortable around, and the girl that I can tell anything to. All right, she's the girl that's always been there for me no matter what, but that's because we're friends, right? And all right, she's the best-looking girl at Hogwarts by far, even better than Cho or Parvati or Ginny, but that doesn't mean that I fancy her does it?
Harry frowned.
Hold on. Did I just think that Hermione's the best-looking girl around?
Yes, he did. He realised it and found that it was not a scary thought, or a matter-of-fact thought, but that it simply felt right. Hermione was beautiful. Part of that beauty was that she didn't see it herself; he supposed she considered herself a bushy-haired Plain Jane, but in reality that was furthest from the truth . . .
"I'll take that as a yes then."
Ron's voice snapped Harry back from his thoughts once again. How long had he been sitting there thinking about Hermione? He was in a turmoil.
"I honestly don't know how I feel at the moment, mate."
Ron snorted, not believing him.
"She may not even fancy me at all," Harry said, running one hand through his hair thoughtfully. "Maybe she just thought she'd be more comfortable kissing me 'cause I've kissed someone before and you haven't . . ."
He realised then how awful that had sounded.
"Oh fine, throw that in my face too," Ron said, sounding very hurt. "It's not like I haven't been trying to get girls, you know! Not all of us are famous and have girls swooning over them left right and center."
"Ron I'm sorry, that was a horrible thing to say."
Harry didn't like the way the conversation was going. First Ron had sounded angry, and now he'd gone and made him even more upset. He didn't think he could deal with both of his best friends not talking to him.
"It's all right," Ron said finally, to Harry's relief.
"I didn't mean it to sound like it did," Harry told him. "I just can't believe it . . ."
"Yeah. Me neither."
Looking at his best friend, Harry had to consider the whole thing from Ron's perspective. He had to admit that, if he'd really been forced to consider it before this kissing revelation, he would have thought that Hermione might have felt something towards Ron, not him. There was that whole thing with the Yule Ball, and of course they bickered all the time . . . how horrible it must have been for Ron to hear Lavender say that Hermione wanted to kiss him, Harry, more than Ron.
"Girls," Ron said, unwrapping a Chocolate Frog and biting the head off it. "I don't get them."
Harry grinned at this, and to his delight Ron grinned back as he munched his chocolate.
"Me neither."
- - -
Ginny knocked tentatively at the door to Hermione's dorm before entering. She honestly didn't know how Hermione was going to react when she told her what they'd done - she was guessing anger, and probably lots of it. The dorm was empty except for Hermione, who was sitting on her bed with lots of parchment and books spread around her, chewing on the end of her quill thoughtfully. From the looks of the textbooks Ginny guessed it was a Potions assignment, and she winced inwardly. It had been a potion that had caused this whole mess.
"Oh, hi Ginny," Hermione said, finally noticing her. She smiled weakly as the youngest Weasley sat down on Parvati's bed opposite.
"You okay?" Ginny asked.
"Oh I'm fine, fine," Hermione answered, looking back down at her parchment. She frowned.
"Um . . . you might not be in a moment . . ."
She looked back up slowly, watching as Ginny squirmed uncomfortably. She had gone rather red.
"And why is that?" Hermione asked suspiciously.
"Well," Ginny began, holding up her arms defensively and nervously eyeing the wand at Hermione's side, "don't get mad, but-"
"They know, don't they?"
"Um . . . yes . . ."
Hermione began to turn red herself, and Ginny braced herself for an explosion. It didn't come though; Hermione simply covered her face with her hands and lowered her head. There was a lengthy silence during which Ginny squirmed even more, but finally Hermione spoke to her.
"Now what am I going to do?" she said quietly, sounding utterly terrified.
"I'm sorry, Hermione. Me and Lavender and Parvati, well, it just seemed right to tell them. You should have seen them these last few days, Hermione! They've been at their wits end, especially Harry. . . all they've talked about is what might be wrong and what they can do to make it better for you . . ."
Hermione spread her fingers, revealing a very weak smile.
"Sounds like my boys," she said.
Ginny smiled at this, but it faded soon after Hermione's did.
"Oh Merlin, what am I going to do?" Hermione asked her desperately. "How can I be around them now? Either of them? Ron, with him feeling all unwanted and second-best, and Harry, now that he knows that I . . ."
"Like him?" Ginny finished. Hermione blushed scarlet and looked down again, staring at her Potions work which seemed so insignificant now.
"Yes. That I like him."
"Hermione, have you ever considered the fact that Harry might like you too?"
"Oh don't be silly," Hermione chided her. "He's only ever had eyes for Cho Chang, he's never so much as considered me as anything more than a friend. Ron's a different story, but . . ."
"How do you know for sure?" Ginny asked her, scooting forward on the bed. "That Harry's never thought of you like that, I mean?"
"Ginny I know Harry better than he knows himself. Trust me, he'd never be interested in me like that. Oh, he probably thinks I'm so stupid, that I've turned into another star-struck witch who wants to be with the famous Boy-Who-Lived!"
"Now you're the one being stupid," Ginny scolded her. "And that's not something that Hermione Granger does often."
Hermione laughed softly. There was silence for a moment before she spoke again.
"How am I going to talk to him, Gin?"
"I'll tell you how," Ginny said firmly, moving from Parvati's bed to sit next to Hermione. "Just like you always have. If you know Harry as well as you say you do, then you'll know that he won't let something like this ruin the friendship you guys have. Am I right?"
"You're right," Hermione agreed, smiling the first genuinely warm smile Ginny had seen since the whole kissing business had reared its head. "It's still going to be awkward, though."
"Didn't say it wouldn't be."
- - -
Harry was very nervous as he and Ron dressed the next morning, and he couldn't make the nerves go away. He'd lain awake until late in the night, thinking only of one thing - Hermione. His talk with Ron had made him consider his feelings towards his female best friend carefully. He'd discovered that they were a lot more complicated than he'd thought - he could make head nor tail of what was going on inside him at the moment. He still wasn't sure what to do; part of him thought that the best thing to do, all things considered, was act as if nothing was the matter and hope that things between the three of them would go back to normal. As sensible as this had sounded to him at first, he was growing to dislike it more and more.
Why? The voice inside his head had piped up again. Because you like her too, isn't it?
Harry told the voice that he couldn't just suddenly fancy Hermione after one night of mulling things over.
Maybe you've liked her for much longer than you realise, the voice told him. You've had this wonderful girl right in front of you for years, and you've been oblivious to her . . .
Maybe, Harry reasoned. Maybe. But not definitely. There was no way of knowing that Hermione really did fancy him, after all, all she'd admitted to was wanting to share her first kiss with him.
Normally when someone wants to kiss someone, they like that someone.
Shut up, Harry told the voice.
You'll thank me later, the voice finished.
He sighed. What was he going to do? If Hermione really did like him, could it be possible for them to be a couple? He knew for a fact that he was a disaster with girls, as he'd found out with Cho. How would he even begin to bring it up with her? And if not, how would they be able to stay friends comfortably? All three of them, for that matter? The revelation had obviously upset Ron, and Harry had a feeling that Hermione, being infinitely smarter than him, must have realised Ron's feelings towards her long ago. She must know that Ron had been stung by her admission.
"Any sign of her?" Ron asked as they entered the Common Room.
"No," Harry replied, scanning the room. "Maybe she's down having breakfast already?"
"This is a bit of a mess, isn't it?" said Ron as they made their way down to the Great Hall.
"Bit of a mess, yeah."
Hermione wasn't in the Great Hall. Harry was rather quiet as he and Ron munched their way through waffles; Ron seemed eager to avoid the subject now that there were others around and talked animatedly about the Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff match, now only a few days away that weekend, with Fred, George and Angelina. Fred and George were taking bets and Ron was deliberating carefully; both Houses were fielding the strongest teams they'd had for a long time, and it was widely thought to be a very close match.
"I've only got seven Sickles," Ron was saying. "I dunno, it's taken me ages to save them up . . . what d'you reckon Harry?"
"Huh?" Harry started. "Oh, I don't know. Ravenclaw I 'spose."
"Couldn't tempt you into making a bet could we Harry?" asked Fred.
"We'll give you very good odds," added George.
"We're offering lots of different outcomes to bet on."
"Who'll win overall . . ."
"Which Seeker will get the Snitch . . ."
"Final score . . ."
"First Chaser to score . . ."
"I get the idea," said Harry, grinning slightly. "But I'll pass, thanks."
"Ron? Made your mind up yet?" Fred asked him.
Ron's tongue was jutting out of his mouth as he considered his options carefully; Harry thought he'd only ever seen him concentrate harder in Potions.
"All right," he said finally. "Seven Sickles on Ravenclaw to win - Cho to get the Snitch."
"You won't regret this, little brother," said George, scooping up the silver coins Ron offered him.
"Yeah, must people are going with Ravenclaw," added Fred, scribbling Ron's wager down onto some parchment.
The twins departed, making their way over to Lee Jordan who was waving a similar-looking piece of parchment and a money bag at them. Harry drained his tea before getting up.
"Come on, it's Divination first."
Harry knew they would not see Hermione that morning; she had double Arithmancy and double Study of Ancient Runes. After their double lesson of Divination Harry and Ron were sat in the Library trying to research freezing spells for that afternoon's Charms lesson; Harry was having trouble concentrating, and Ron didn't seem to be fairing much better. He was pretty sure that they both had the same thing on their minds, yet he was afraid to bring it up again.
"Frezescus!" Ron whispered as he aimed his wand at his jar of ink, not wanting to incur the wrath of Madam Pince by saying it loudly. His wand emitted a few feeble icy flakes before quitting entirely.
"I'm doing it right, I know I am . . ."
Harry wasn't doing much better himself; his wand was emitting a more steady blast of cold than Ron's but his ink had only become chilled rather than frozen solid.
"You know who we need," Harry told him quietly.
Ron looked back at him, thoroughly miserable.
"Yeah. But in case you haven't noticed she's still not talking to us."
Ron was still trying to get the freezing spell working when they were sat in the Great Hall once again at lunchtime. The hall was loud with chatter and laughing; Ron had his concentrating look on again as he determinedly tried to freeze his pumpkin juice, having progressed from his former flakes of ice to the level of chilling that Harry had managed. The other Gryffindors soon took advantage of this and began passing them their own goblets for him to chill; Fred and George began advertising this new service along the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables:
"Only one knut to have your pumpkin juice expertly chilled by Ron Weasley, step right up everyone . . ."
Ron was so determined to succeed that he forgot about eating lunch (no mean feat, considered Harry) and took each new goblet presented to him with a growl of anger. He had drawn a small crowd of tittering watchers, even a few Slytherins had come over, interested. As Harry ate his sandwiches he was glad that Draco Malfoy hadn't come over; he could see the blonde-haired Slytherin watching from his house table, pointing and laughing - he didn't think Ron would be able to ignore Malfoy's taunts as he was so successfully ignoring the laughs of the others around him. He couldn't help grinning a little himself though as Ron worked himself up more and more, taking each failure as a personal insult.
With a loud volley of swearing he finally gave up, throwing his wand down onto the table where it gave out a few more splutters of ice flakes. Fred and George led a round of applause which Ron scowled at, pulling a plate of sandwiches towards him.
"You're pronouncing it wrong," said a familiar voice. "You need to stress the 'zes' of 'frezescus'."
They both looked up in surprise. Hermione was standing there, looking at them rather pink-cheeked and playing with the strap of her satchel.
"Hi," she said awkwardly.
- - -
A/N: This chapter was rather angsty I know. Apologies for another cliffhanger too!