Of Wolves and Ravens
by FenrisWolf
Disclaimer - I don't own anything, J. K. Rowling does - damn it.
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Chapter Four
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"Oh that; just that the Earth isn't really round, it's flat."
"WHAT!?!"
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The various division chiefs and their underlings looked around the meeting room nervously; it was the first time in close to a decade that any of them could recall such a complete meeting being held, with not only the head of each division present, but the heads of their various and sundry projects as well. It made quite an imposing group, and most of the people present were a bit stunned by the evidence of the bureaucracy that was overwhelming the Unspeakables Department.
What made some of the more entrenched parchment pushers nervous were the barely repressed expressions of glee on a few of the people present. The gadfly commonly known as 'Q' was the most obvious about it, but some of the others who were known to rail about the 'dead wood in the department' were also showing signs of thinly veiled mirth. Clearly, something was about to happen, and by the prickling many of them felt on the backs of their necks, it wasn't going to be good.
The double doors of the room slammed open and the Head of the Unspeakables Department walked, no, strode through, the heavy material of his robes swirling about him. Instead of his usual attire, he was wearing the official uniform of his office, the one he was known to wear on only three occasions; when attending formal Ministry functions, when testifying before a court…and when witnessing executions. A few of the brighter people in the room caught the symbolism, and those with guilty consciences swallowed nervously. Chief Unspeakable Potter was in a Bad Mood, and when that happened, unpleasant events usually followed.
Harry came to a stop at the head of the table; his icy gaze pinioning his subordinates in their seats, and without preamble began to speak. "Two weeks ago, information critical to the smooth, efficient operation of this department was brought to my attention, information which I have since confirmed though independent means. Apparently I have been too focused on threats from outside my department to become aware of the rot that is threatening it from within. That is about to change."
Harry's glare made more than one person squirm as he continued. "Some people seem to have come to the conclusion that a research position is a cushy sinecure where an unending stream of Galleons flows in, and nothing of any worth needs to flow out. As a result of this attitude, far too many of the people who are out on the front lines, risking life and limb to protect the Wizarding community, are struggling to make ends meet and support their families. This is also going to change.
"The rot is going to be eliminated, and the dead wood pruned, even if I have to personally wield an axe to do it."
He took a deep breath to calm himself, and then opened the folder that had been waiting on his desk. "Three days ago I met with the Wizengamot in closed session to explain my concerns and suggest a solution, a solution which was, after some debate, accepted by a majority of the members.
"As you should all be aware, the Wizengamot is ultimately the body responsible for the allocation of funding to the various departments. Prior to this they have relied on an honor system and the integrity of the various department heads to prevent corruption and abuse. The Wizarding community places great store in personal honor, due in no small part to the power we individually wield. Unfortunately, as the Muggle saying goes, 'power corrupts'. The evidence I was able to place before them convinced them that the honor system was no longer feasible.
"As a result of the Wizengamot's deliberations, a new department has been created specifically to oversee how allocated funds are being disbursed, to ferret out cases of gross negligence, fraud and embezzlement of Ministry funds-"
Suddenly a voice exploded from the end of the table. "This is an outrage! How dare you cast aspersions on our integrity!"
A second voice hissed at the first. "Gildenstern, shut up!"
"I will not shut up!" Harry's eyes tracked down to the end of the table where a portly wizard with graying hair and a florid complexion was glaring at him in a manner that reminded him eerily of Vernon Dursley. "We all know what this is really about, don't we? That little chit of Potter's stuck her nose in where it wasn't wanted and got her knuckles rapped for her troubles, and now she's looking for some payback! Got her boyfriend to drum up some impressive sounding nonsense so she could crack the whip over us." People on either side of the choleric wizard were backing out of the potential blast area, but he didn't seem to notice as he continued his tirade. "Lucius was right, can't trust a one of them to do what's proper, stupid, jumped-up Mud-"
RIBBIT.
Harry cleared his throat to attract the room's occupants' attention, most of who were staring with varying degrees of horror at the Giant African frog with the leprous grey skin that now squatted in the chair previously occupied by the blustering wizard. "I normally dislike doing that, but I wanted to finish my opening remarks before opening the table to debate. Once I finish my statement, I will return Mr. Rosencrantz to his-yes?" he asked sharply as a hand was tentatively raised.
"Um, I'm Rosencrantz: he's Gildenstern," a short, mousy looking wizard said timorously, one hand gesturing vaguely at his colleague, who was even then snapping at flies.
Harry just shrugged. "Whatever," he said casually. "Now, as I was saying, a new Auditing department has been created. It is comprised of a team of Auditors who will perform the actual investigations, and a coordinator who will direct their activities. Allow me to present the new Chief Coordinator, Ms. Hermione Granger."
Large, slimy amphibian or no, there were more than a few dark looks and mutters directed at the young woman who entered the room to stand calmly at Harry's side. He gave everyone a few moments to get over his or her initial reactions, and then spoke. "Ms. Granger is well aware that there will be questions raised as to her suitability for this position, as well as the circumstances by which she obtained it. Consequently, she has asked to speak to you today as, as per my request, the Unspeakables will be the first department to face a full Audit."
The whispers and looks slowly settled down as Harry took his seat and Hermione continued to stand. Finally the room stilled and she said, "Most of you know who I am, either through personal contact or by reputation. As such, I am not even going to dignify Mr. Gildenstern's accusations with a response. What I am here to do is to tell you what to expect from my department, and what your options are.
"First of all, I, personally, will not be conducting any of the audits. I freely admit that I do not as of yet have sufficient knowledge of Wizarding accounting and banking procedures to conduct a fair, rapid and accurate audit of a section's financial dealings. My skills lie in examining the parameters of each section and department's mission statements for signs of potential problems, at which point the Auditing teams will step in. They will report any evidence of mismanagement and abuse to me, and I in turn will refer such cases to the Wizengamot along with my recommendations for the appropriate actions. Questions?"
She nodded at Harry, and the obnoxious frog returned to its even more obnoxious original form. Unfortunately for Gildenstern, he did so in the middle of swallowing a particularly large and annoying bluebottle fly, and the wizard looked a little green at the sensation of buzzing wings traveled down his now human throat.
Someone cleared their throat, and Hermione directed her attention to where Q was now standing. Unlike many of his colleagues, he was delighted by the idea of the Auditors, but he wanted a few matters cleared up as well. As such, his tone was anything but confrontational when he asked, "Ms. Granger, who exactly will be conducting the audits being run by your department?"
"I'm glad you asked, Q. Obviously we need people who are familiar with all aspects of Wizarding finance, both legal and illegal. With that im mind I requested and received permission to hire Auditors from Gringotts Bank on Diagon Alley."
The room was momentarily stunned. "You hired Goblins to investigate wizards?" someone finally squeaked.
"No, I hired professionals with the necessary skills to perform their jobs quickly and efficiently. What comprised their ethnic background was irrelevant, as it had no bearing on their jobs," Hermione declared, her tone brooking no argument.
Mutters and whispers ran around the table again for a few minutes. When they died down, another department head spoke up. "McSwain here; Procurements. What sort of appeals process is in place? We don't have to automatically accept the findings of the audit, do we?"
"Of course not, the right of appeal is guaranteed in the Auditing Department's charter." she gave them a few seconds to digest that, and then added, "However, I will also tell you that any appeal will be testified to under Veritaserum, and the rules against self-incrimination will not apply. Any criminal activity, on either side, that is revealed during the appeals process will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the Wizengamot's powers."
There were a few more questions and some dark muttering, but the majority of the people present were actually decent, hard-working wizards and witches who were more than a little tired of seeing the occasional bad apple getting away with murder. None of them were terribly thrilled with the idea of having goblins sniffing around their work, but most felt it was a small price to pay for weeding out the culls.
Most, but not all. "So, Chief Coordinator Granger," a sneering voice drawled, "I suppose my colleague and I are going to be the first to be audited, purely by happenstance?"
Harry saw the expression on his fiancée's face and leaned back with a smirk. This should be fun…
"Why, no, Mr. Gildenstern-"
"I'm Rosencrantz, he's Gildenstern," the former frog grated, spitting out a bit of wing that had lodged between his teeth. "And it's Research Fellow, not Mister."
"No, actually, as of 9am, it's 'Mister', and if Rita Skeeter has her way, by this time tomorrow it may as well be 'Mud'," Hermione replied with an evil gleam in her eyes.
"What do you mean?" the wizard blustered, as nervousness began to claw at him. "What does Skeeter have to do with this?"
"Why, she happened to be canvassing the Wizengamot when I presented my case for the Auditor's Department. They were all quite fascinated to hear how you had spent 5 years and half a million galleons attempting to prove, for the sake of your theories, that Ptolemy was wrong and the Earth is really flat."
The rest of the room roared with laughter as the two mortified wizards squawked. When the noise died down, Harry stood as Hermione sat. "You two are through. By order of the Wizengamot you are sacked, and your 'research' is terminated. You will find your personal effects boxed and waiting for you in the lobby. As Ms. Granger indicated, you may of course file an appeal, but I'd advise against it. As it stands, all you are losing is your cushy jobs, but if what I suspect is true comes out under Veritaserum, well, just because the dementors are gone doesn't mean Azkaban has become a seaside resort."
Rosencrantz and Gildenstern rose to their feet and stalked from the room, their expressions wooden as they avoided everyone's eyes. Harry noted that while Q and those like him seemed pleased by the turn of events, there were a few like the departing pair who looked extremely put out, and were glaring daggers at his fiancée. 'This is not going to be pretty,' he thought grimly.
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"Harry, it's going to be all right," Hermione said, and he noted a hint of exasperation creeping into her tone as she tried once again to allay his concerns. "I'm a big girl now, I know what I'm getting into."
"It's not that, Mione," Harry sighed. "I'm not upset because I think you haven't thought through what could happen, I'm upset because you got dragged into doing this at all."
"What do you mean?" she asked, a puzzled frown on her face.
"It was bad enough when you gave up a job you loved at Stonehenge so you could join the Ministry, just so you could be closer to me-no, don't deny it; I'm not being bigheaded, you told me yourself that was one of the reasons you turned in your notice to Stonehenge. I didn't object because I knew that you'd thought about working there before, and that with the resources the Ministry had to offer you could do fantastic things. And I'll admit to being selfish enough to want the woman I loved working nearer to me so I could sneak into her office for a lunchtime shag every so often." He grinned wickedly at her as she blushed, but then his expression turned serious again.
"This, though…Hermione, you hate bureaucracy, I don't know how many times I listened to you bitch about the hoops you had to jump through at Stonehenge just to get the resources you needed to do your job. Now you've volunteered to head a department of nothing but parchment pushers, devoted to overseeing other parchment pushers and funding artists?" Harry saw the stubborn set of her jaw and winced; this was turning out to be a harder sell than he'd thought. "That's not for you, I know that's not why you worked so hard during Hogwarts. I don't care how screwed up they are, the Ministry can go hang before I let you give up your dreams. They aren't worth it!"
Hermione took in Harry's earnest expression and cocked her head as she asked, "Is it my turn now?" At his nod she continued, "First of all, Harry, I know you're trying to do your Protect Hermione thing, and while it's very sweet, it can be a bit annoying. Or don't you think I have the right to make my own decisions?"
"Erm…" Harry said intelligently, knowing instinctively that this was one of those questions women always asked that no man could ever answer correctly.
"Never mind," she said, letting him off the hook. "The point is, I know exactly what I'm doing. Would I rather be doing research on charms, transfiguration, even potions, than this? Of course I would! But the way things are now, I'd never derive any pleasure from it. Oh, I could manage it; my time at Stonehenge was good training for that if nothing else, but how much satisfaction would I have, knowing the mess everything was in, and knowing that I could have done something to correct it, but did nothing? Especially since I have a resource available to me that most don't?"
A green flame torch flashed to life behind Harry's eyes (A/N: sorry, couldn't resist…). "The Sisterhood?"
"Exactly. They helped me with the Unspeakables; I think they'll help me again. They hate this sort of thing even more than I do, if that's possible." She smiled and her voice took on an odd tone. "The struggle against the Dark is more than grand victories and carting Death Eaters off to Azkaban, Harry. It's also the thousand little battles that are fought each and every day as people choose between doing what is right and what is expedient. I choose to do what's right."
He peered at her suspiciously. "When did you start channeling Dumbledore?" he asked, unable to resist looking for the tell tale twinkle.
Hermione laughed. "Ever since he retired as headmaster he's popped out at the oddest moments," she admitted, her eyes-dammit!-twinkling at him.
"Well, it's damned creepy," he grumbled. Bad enough to have the image of Ron and Luna together burned into his brain without imagining looking down at Hermione in the throes of passion and-gah!
She just laughed and kissed him soundly. "Please don't worry, Harry, I do know what I'm doing, honestly. And it's not like I have to dedicate my life to this. Six months, a year at the outside, and I'll have the Department running smoothly enough to hand the job off to someone else and get back to my real work."
Harry sighed inwardly; damn the woman was stubborn, not that this was any real surprise to him. Once her mind was made up, nothing short of an Apocalypse was likely to change it, and for some reason those had been confined to Southern California in recent years. But just because she was determined to follow through on her plan (which he grudgingly admitted was a good one), didn't mean he was going to drop his guard. If Rosencrantz and Gildenstern were any indication, there were going to be some very upset academicians over the course of the next year, and some of them made the average Death Eater look like a cute and fluffy bunny by comparison. If she was determined to lead this crusade, he would be watching her back and making sure no one tried to turn her into another Jean D'Arc. He preferred his fiancée remained soft and inviting, not black and crispy, thank you very much. Speaking of which…
"All right, love, we'll do it your way," he agreed, wrapping his arms around her for a hug. Suddenly he swept her off her feet and flung her over his shoulder, and then headed for their bedroom at a jog. "H-a-a-r-r-y!" Hermione squealed as his name was jolted out of her.
""Me Potter, you Jane," he corrected in his best caveman voice. "Time to shag like monkeys!" Her throaty laughter echoed down the hall as they proceeded to seal the end of their argument in their favorite manner.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know, not much action, and not as much humor as I like, but I'm still setting the stage and waiting for everyone to tell me what the hell's going on. I just found out a couple of old friends are coming back from their vacation in the Alps just in time to help out…well, you'll see.
Reviews are the crunchy goodness in the smooth and creamy peanut butter of my life. Please help me stick my tongue to the roof of my mouth…