A/N: This is the first of a planned three chapters, each based on a song from the album 'This Is My Truth, Tell Me Yours', by the Manic Street Preachers, a Welsh Band. I think the songs suit the mood of the final battle perfectly, and I hope it inspires you to buy the album!
Enjoy and Review,
Love, I'mHermione (AKA IamHermione, but someone else has that name on FF.net!)
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR, my idol, and the Manic Street Preachers, who would be worried if they knew how much I thought about them... ;-D
Chapter 1. Nobody Loved You
What's your story, baby
No control of what I am saying
Winter leaves still make me believe
No vendettas, just a cherry blossom tree...
Never had the chance to take you home
Now there's no reason, just another tomorrow
Keep giving me your free air miles
What would I give, just for one of your smiles?
Just for one of your smiles?
Harry Potter crept slowly down the dormitory stairs into the Gryffindor common room. He had not changed for bed this
night. It was planned. He would leave without a word. It would be easier that way. No teary good-byes. No thinking that
this might be the last he see of the people he loves. No feelings.
He paused by the common room fire and bent down. He left two sealed envelopes on the hearth; one marked 'Ron',
and the other 'Hermione'. He knew they'd find them. The fireplace was their favourite part of the common
room. They'd be sure to look there.
Turning from the dying embers, he looked around the room. He hoisted his bag onto his back and fixed his sword at his side. He walked through the portrait hole and didn't look back. He was gone, and He might never come back.
............
Hermione woke with a start. Her eyes snapped open and, gasping for breath she sat bolt upright in her bed. Without a moment's pause, she leaped out of bed. She grabbed her dressing gown and bolted out of the room.
Wrapping her gown tightly around her, she sped to the boys' dorms. She shut her eyes as she opened the door, inch by agonising inch. The sound of harsh snoring greeted her. She prayed he was still here.
She made her way slowly over to Harry's bed and, when she got there, pulled back the curtains, her eyes tightly shut, afraid of finding an empty bed.
After a second, she felt a hand on her waist. She knew before she opened her eyes what this meant and felt a warmth spread from that very spot to the tips of her fingers and toes. He was still here.
She opened her eyes and felt herself sigh with relief, while the corners of her mouth curved upwards in a relieved smile. She took in Harry's bleary but concerned looking eyes and felt a tear slide down her cheek and she cried with relief.
'C'mere', Harry said softly. He took her hands and pulled her down onto the bed and into his arms. He cast a quick silencing charm on his bed hangings, knowing that Hermione needed to talk.
Let me turn down all these lights
And sit with me, then you can hold me tight
Give me some more of you carrier bags
And let me dream of a new autumn light
Tell me your story baby
What's you poison, what is your honey
You stopped me hurting, but so much disorder
Winter flowers... Did you ever forgive her?
Did you ever forgive her?
Hermione's body shook with sobs against Harry's chest. She clung to his T- shirt, while he rubbed soothing
circles on her back. And slowly her sobs subsided as he rocked her back and forward.
'You've had a nightmare.' It wasn't a question.
Hermione rolled onto her back while Harry propped his head on his arm to look at her- Hermione didn't know where to start.
'I didn't even stop to think, Harry', she said suddenly. 'I just had to check you were still here.'
Harry knew straight away what she was talking about. He had told her about the prophecy a week ago. Parvati had since told him that she had heard Hermione crying in the night.
'Hermione- '
'No Harry', she cut him off. 'Just let me finish'. She paused, unable to look him in the eye as she spoke.
'Would you ever leave without saying goodbye?'
'Hermione, listen- '
'You left me a note'. She cut him off again, her voice shaking.
Harry inched closer to her, until he was only whispering
'I don't know what I'll do'.
Hermione looked at him now.
'Harry, this last week has been torture. All I can think of is you and that stupid prophecy.' Her voice was getting louder now. 'I feel like I'm already grieving for you and I hate it!'
She was quiet again and she whispered.
'And do you know what the worst thing is? That you can take it all in you stride. It has nothing to do with me and
I'm already a mess thinking about it. About you', she finished in a barely audible whisper.
'It has everything to do with you', Harry snapped, louder than he meant to.
Hermione flinched, her eyes questioning, and Harry lay back on his back, his breathing shallow.
'What do you mean, Harry?'
Harry didn't answer.
'What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean, Harry?', she yelled, leaning over him.
Harry sat up, wringing his hands and looking afraid. Hermione felt uneasy at his look of fear. He never showed fear. Never. No matter how much he felt, he never showed it. But then she understood. He was afraid of what she thought.
A heavy silence hung over them from her previous outburst. She felt disgusted with herself. She reached out and placed a hand in his hair.
'I'm sorry, Harry', she said quietly. 'I'm just upset, that's all. It's not your fault.'
'It is my fault', he said slowly, as if realising it for the first time. 'Look what I've done to you! You shouldn't have to worry about me all the time. Your only sixteen, for Christ's sake!'
'Well, you shouldn't have to worry about saving the world, or being murdered!' she snapped back. 'You're only sixteen too.'
A silence hung again.
'Harry, I want to worry about you', she said eventually. 'You say, look what you've done to me? You've saved my life more times than I can count! You inspire me to be the best Harry. You made me who I am today!', she said softly.
'Or is that the problem?', she asked with a questioning look at Harry. 'Do you not like who I am
today?'
'No, Hermione, I love who you are', he said tiredly. 'That's the bloody problem'.
Hermione was stunned at Harry's reaction. Did he really mean what she hoped he meant? She looked into his eyes and reached for his hand. She took his hand and placed it over her heart, so he could feel her rapid heartbeat.
'This is what you've done to me', she said, her eyes never leaving his as she moved towards him.
Her lips met with his and Harry pulled back like he had received an electric shock.
'This is what I mean Hermione', he said, his eyes pleading with hers. 'I don't want you to have to live like me. Always prepared. And always afraid', he added softly.
'I love you Harry', Hermione replied, her hand still clutching Harry's. 'I'm never afraid when I'm with you. Don't make me go through this alone, worrying. And I know you don't want anyone to love you but I can't change the way I feel, Harry. You can't know how much I love you', she finished in a whisper.
Nobody loved you
Nobody made you feel so alone
Nobody loved you
No, no...
This time it was Harry who leaned forward. He looked in Hermione's eyes, and she saw that he was afraid. Afraid of the freedom he was about to take away from her. The freedom of not being involved with that god-forsaken prophecy. He intertwined his fingers with hers.
Cherry blossom tree
But at least you were free
Nobody loved you
Like me...
He leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. He put a hand to her cheek and another to her waist. He pulled her closer, and she put her hands to his chest and gently pushed until he was lying flat, never breaking their kiss.
His hand, now in her hair, pulled her closer still as he deepened the kiss. Hermione moaned into his mouth as his tongue met hers and her hands roamed from his chest to his hair. Hermione eventually pulled away. 'I want you, Harry- '
He looked into her eyes and his eyes flashed with lust and questioning. She answered his silent question by taking hold of the hem of his T-shirt and pulling it over his head.
He flipped her over and began unbuttoning her pajama top, kissing her neck and shoulders as he did. She arched her back as he slid the top down her arms, and stared into his eyes.
His eyes flickered down to her chest and back again.
'Hermione', he breathed, before claiming her lips again. She buried her hands in his silky hair and Harry slid his hand down her neck and shoulders until he got to her breast.
He cupped it with his hand and she moaned into his mouth again and arched her back. She slid her hands down his toned chest again and hooked her thumbs into the waistband of his boxer shorts.
He broke away from the kiss. 'Are you sure, Hermione?' he asked.
Hermione put her hand to his cheek and he turned his face to her touch.
'I have loved you for so long Harry. I want to do this. And I want to do this with you.' She spoke softly and reassuringly. She kissed him again as she slid his boxer shorts off his hips.
Harry kicked them off as he moved to Hermione's pajama bottoms. She lifted her hips and he slid them off. They were both naked now
Hermione looked up into Harry's eyes. He was nervous, she could see. And she knew that he could tell that she was too. It was the first time for both of them.
'I trust you, Harry' she said after a second.
'I love you, Hermione', he replied softly.
Harry kissed her and began to enter her slowly. He reached her barrier and she shut her eyes. He pressed through and she let out a small gasp from the crook of his neck.
He looked into her eyes. 'You ok?' he asked, his voice full of concern. She nodded back to him and smiled. 'I'm fine'.
He kissed her neck and began to move; slowly at first, then building up speed. Hermione's fingernails dug into Harry's back as the sensations increased and she hooked her ankles behind him in order to take him in more deeply.
Their breathing became shallower as they neared their climaxes. Hermione cried out Harry's name as a powerful orgasm washed over her. A moment later she heard him do the same.
She buried her head in the crook of his neck again, kissing his neck until her breathing returned to normal. She pulled him down to lie on top of her and he hugged her close.
'Hermione- ', he searched for words. 'That was... incredible.'
Hermione smiled widely. 'Yes, it was, wasn't it'.
She pulled him down for another kiss and quickly deepened it, sliding her tongue along his lips until he parted them for her. A moan escaped his throat and she felt him go hard again inside her.
She heard herself sigh with pleasure as Harry began to move again. They didn't break the kiss and they moved more slowly this time. Hermione gripped his shoulders and threw her head back in pleasure as she climaxed.
Harry kissed her neck down to her collarbone until he felt his own release. He muffled a moan in her hair.
He rolled over onto his back and Hermione clung to his side, her head resting on his shoulder and her arms and legs intertwined with his. Harry held her tight to his side.
'This changes everything, Hermione', he said softly. 'You're as deep in as I am now'.
'I've been in deep for years, Harry... As long as I've loved you.'
She propped her head on her hand to look at him, and saw his eyes were troubled. She knew how his mind worked by now...
'Oh, Harry! Just let me be with you! Can't you live with that?' she finished uncertainly.
'Hermione', harry replied, thinking deeply. 'I love you more that I could possibly love anyone.' There was a pause. 'And I worry, you know?' I know that some day I'm going to have to go. Alone', he added before she could argue. 'And I want you to stay with me. But I won't ask you to. I won't ask you to sacrifice everything for me'
'You don't have to ask me, Harry', she replied with a sad smile. 'It goes without saying. I'll stay with you.'
He looked into her eyes and kissed her again. They fell asleep in each other's arms after what felt like in eternity.
What's your story, baby
No control of what I am saying
Winter leaves still make me believe
No vendettas, just a cherry blossom tree
Just a cherry blossom tree...