A/N: This is the second chapter, set to the album, 'This is my truth, tell me yours', by the Manic Street Preachers.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR and the Manic Street Preachers, Without whom the world would be a sad, boring Place.
Chapter 2: Be Natural
The next morning dawned a typical winter's morning: dark and windy. Hermione woke slowly, playing with a smile before she opened her eyes.
She stretched and sat up lazily, propping herself up on her elbows, and looked around her, expecting to see Harry. But he wasn't there. This realisation seemed to awaken her faster than a bucket of cold water.
She summoned her cloths and threw them on as quickly as she could and dashed out of the boys' dorms, not stopping to check if any of the boys had seen her.
Once in the common room, she couldn't help but glance at the fireplace. She'd had the terrifying feeling that that dream she had last night might have come true.
When she saw that the hearth was clear of any notes of goodbye ('more like suicide notes' she thought with a mixture of rage and anxiety) she bolted out of the common room.
…………………………………………….
Been Natural for once in my life
Now I'll have to swallow some pride
Know that I should never give advice
But it's too late now to say goodbye
Harry sat under the shade of the tree where he had seen his father sit in Snape's memory. He didn't know why he'd sat there for so long. Maybe he felt close to his father, or his mother, or even Sirius.
He needed advice, but god-knows he wasn't going to get it here. He wasn't going to be comforted by his memories anymore. And he wasn't going to find any answers. He knew that now.
He knew he shouldn't have left Hermione like that. He knew he should be with her now, telling her that he wouldn't leave without a goodbye, as he knew she feared he would.
But no matter how much he knew he shouldn't be there, he couldn't leave. He couldn't go back to her and hold her anymore. He couldn't tell her it would be all right because it wouldn't.
It was after about two hours of musing that he heard her call his name. He stood up and turned to face her. She was standing a bit away from him, her hair and robes blowing wildly behind her.
He lowered his eyes from hers. He had lowered his guard last night. He had let her in. But now he was determined that she would not put herself in danger for him anymore. She walked slowly towards him, and when she saw his expression, hers became furious.
She kept walking until she was right in front of him.
'Hermione, I- '
-SMACK-
The palm of her hand met his face with a force that surprised him.
He put his hand to the spot where she had hit him, but still did not meet her eyes.
'You think you're so misunderstood Harry', she said, her voice quiet but intensely passionate. 'You pull away from your friends- from me- so that we won't get hurt. WELL THIS BLOODY WELL HURTS!' She screamed at him.
Be natural, don't want any friends
Be natural, come on and hit me again
Be natural, I'm repeating myself
Be natural, is there any thing else?
He met her eyes now.
'So what happened last night, Harry?' she asked in the same quiet voice.
'You let your guard down', she answered for him when he didn't. 'You let me see the real you again and now you regret it.'
'I DON'T REGRET ANYTHING!' he yelled at her, causing her to step back from him.
He lowered his voice. 'I don't regret anything but having to tell you- '. His voice faltered.
He turned away from her.
'I got an owl this morning', he whispered. Hermione moved closer to hear him.
She leaned against the tree when she realised what he was trying to say. Her legs gave way and she felt herself slide down to the ground.
'When?' she gasped. Her eyes were out of focus.
'I leave tomorrow morning', he answered, interpreting her question correctly.
Starbright keep me safe-
Today and tonight…
No water tastes like lemonade
Slowly, slowly, it starts to fade…
'Oh my god', she whispered to herself.
Suddenly he turned around. He fell to his knees beside her.
'Don't be upset', he said to her sadly. 'We knew this was going to happen. It's just a bit sooner than we expected, is all'.
'But I didn't expect it', she sobbed. 'I never thought it would actually happen'
Harry pulled her into a tight hug. 'Well that doesn't sound like the logical Hermione I know', he whispered, his sarcasm lost in Hermione's grief. 'And you've given me something to remember you by', he said, pulling back and pointing to his reddening cheek.
She smiled sadly, before her body began to shake with grief again. She pulled Harry back to her, holding him to her like she would never let go.
They stayed like that for a long time. It was lunchtime before Harry lifted her to her feet and led her back to the castle. She leant on him for support and she still hadn't stopped crying.
Harry and Hermione didn't head to the Great hall for lunch. Instead, they went to find Ron in the common room- he always ate lunch early, and he'd be back by then.
Sure enough, Ron was sitting in his favourite seat by the fire. His head snapped up when he heard the portrait hole open. He rushed to them when he realised Hermione had been crying. Her face was pale and tearstained.
Harry led her to the couch opposite Ron's seat and they sat down. Ron sat opposite them and Harry looked up at him. He seemed to understand in an instant.
He had seen Hermione bolting out of their dorms earlier and when he checked, he found the crumpled piece of parchment on Harry's bedside table. He knew immediately what was wrong when they walked through the portrait hole.
Ron looked from Harry to Hermione, who seemed to have run out of tears. 'Oh Jesus', was all he could manage to say.
No words were spoken that afternoon. Ron left after a long time, leaving Harry and Hermione on their own. It was a while before Hermione spoke.
'We have tonight, Harry'.
Be natural with me tonight
Be natural; put your fists in my eyes
Be natural, so turn me to stone
Be natural, just leave me alone…
She looked into his eyes and pulled him in for a kiss. A mind-blowing kiss. A kiss that contained every once of passion and energy she possessed. A kiss that said what neither could- I might never see you again.
They eventually broke the kiss, but remained with their foreheads touching and breathing shallowly. 'I love you, Hermione', he breathed.
She kissed his cheek where she had slapped him, and caressed it with her hand. Then he took her hand in his. Darkness was falling. They stood and made their way to Harry's room, never breaking eye contact.
That night they made love, slowly and passionately. Harry kissed her while they rocked gently together. Hermione held him tight through the night, even in her sleep.
Harry kissed her forehead before dawn, and left without a sound.
…………………………………………
When Hermione woke the next morning, Harry was gone. She held back a sob as she dressed slowly. There was no way she'd catch him now.
She descended the staircase to the common room. And didn't look up until she was in the middle of the circular room. She stepped forward and fell to her knees on front of the fireplace. Two envelopes were waiting. She slowly reached out for the one marked Hermione.
She cried freely as she read it.
Dear Hermione,
I know you didn't want it this way, and I'm sorry. I don't think I could have gone if you'd have tried to stop me. I have to go. This is what I was born for. If I don't do this, nobody else will. And it has to be now. And I have to be alone.
I know you're upset. We both know that I might not come back. I mean, let's face it; the odds aren't exactly on my side…
But for now, Hermione, know that I love you. If I come back, it will be for you. And if I don't, I hope that I don't die in vain. And though I'm on my own, I'm thinking of you.
I love you, even when you scream at me, or slap me, or tell me what a self-absorbed idiot I am. If I don't come back, don't wait for me. Move on. Be happy.
But remember I loved you.
Harry
Grown up or backwards born
Into eternity and black holes…
Floating around out here on my own,
Screaming at me, forever unknown…
Been natural…
Been natural…
Been natural…
Is there anything else?