Unofficial Portkey Archive

Crazy Plans and Crazy Love by happy_daze
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

Crazy Plans and Crazy Love

happy_daze

Author's Note: Submitted for the hphg_ficathon that occurred at LJ. Thanks a ton to my betas Sarah and Nicole :) Oh, and a fair warning for any of you that positively cringe at any type of R/Hr. This story may contain a *tiny* hint of that.

Ron peered over the top of his textbook as Hermione twirled and twirled her quill between her fingers, staring out into space. For once, she wasn't absorbed in a book or chastising him or Harry about not studying. Instead, she was huffing every so often and twirling her quill. The poor quill was already looking so frayed…

Ron set his book down. There was obviously something wrong with his female friend, and despite their constant bickering, he still felt concerned about her.

Hermione let out a despairing sigh and finally threw down her quill. Harry looked up from his reading and eyed her questioningly. Ron couldn't handle the suspense any longer, so he simply asked, "Is something the matter, Hermione?"

She looked up at him briefly and shook her head softly. "No, there's nothing wrong, Ron." She then poised her worn quill over her parchment, yet did not start writing. Harry resumed his note taking. Her eyes darted to her textbook then to her scroll, as if she was really taking notes, but Ron knew better. He had seen her eyes dart to Harry, who was completely engrossed in his own studying. Ron shook his head. It had been like this for quite a while. Hermione seemed to be paying less and less attention to her schoolwork, though she would deny it several hundred times. Of course she still received top marks, but Ron knew that those grades came with endless nights of staying up instead of long hours in the library during the day.

"I'm going to go put this book back," Harry announced, getting up from his seat. The three of them were studying for their N.E.W.T.'s at their usual library table. "Anyone need anything?" he asked.

"No, I'm alright," Ron replied. Hermione nodded curtly.

"Okay then. I'll be back." Ron and Hermione watched him disappear behind a bookshelf, and making sure he was out of earshot, Ron swiftly turned towards her.

"Now tell me, what's bothering you?" he asked.

She looked at him as if he were crazy. "I told you, nothing is wrong!"

"I don't believe you, Hermione. I've been noticing this for a while now, you know. You pretend that you're working, but you seem to be someplace else. The only time you study is late into the night! I want you to tell me the truth, what's wrong?"

She remained silent at his proclamation. She fiddled with the end of her scroll of parchment, her face showing that she was trying to think up a rebuttal.

"Ron, I don't -"

"Please. I'm actually really worried about you, Hermione. I'm not the insensitive prat you think I am."

She peered up at him shyly, smiling lightly. "I know you're not, Ron, it's just-"

"Then why can't you tell me what's on your mind? I'm your friend, too, aren't I?"

"Yes, but-"

"Darn book I'm looking for is checked out." Hermione's sentence was cut off when Harry came back to their table. Naturally, she shut up immediately and simply mumbled an 'oh' in reply. Ron inwardly sighed. It took no genius to see that what was bothering Hermione had something to do with Harry. If Harry had been gone a little longer, perhaps he would have been able to find out exactly what…

"Oh, Harry! I'm so glad you're here!"

All three of their heads looked up to see Lavender approaching their table. She paid no heed to Ron or Hermione and headed straight to Harry, asking him something about Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Ron scrunched up his nose. The only reason Lavender came up to them was to speak to Harry. He observed their exchange, noticing the obvious signs of flirting. A lingering touch on the arm… a slight flip of the air… a small flutter of the eyelashes…

Lavender and Harry. Who would have thought?

Ron looked across the table to see Hermione, who was biting her lip. He really had to tell her that she wasn't that great at hiding her emotions… he could see the disappointment written all over as she watched Lavender shamelessly come on to Harry.

"And that's how you do it, really," Harry finished, pointing out where Lavender went wrong.

"Oh thanks so much, Harry! You're so great in this subject!" She gave a shrill laugh, her hand lying over Harry's arm and flounced away. Ron gave a scrutinizing glare at Harry.

"What?" he asked, shrugging.

"Nothing," Ron answered hopelessly, his eyes flicking towards Hermione once more before going back to studying.

*

After dinner, when the Gryffindors began to go to their respective dormitories to get ready for bed, Ron stopped Harry from leaving.

"I need to talk to you," he said. Harry, puzzled, agreed and they stayed on the Common Room couches while everyone else climbed the staircases.

"What's the matter, Ron?" Harry questioned, looking slightly confused and concerned. Ron gave a dismissive wave with his hand.

"Don't worry, Harry, nobody has died, I just wanted to talk to you about something."

Harry visibly relaxed. "Oh okay. Well, what do you need to talk about?"

Ron took a deep breath. "We need to talk about Hermione."

He looked at his friend sitting in the armchair across from him and saw his shoulders tense a little. It was a dreaded day that somehow, the two of them knew would come. Two males that were best friends and were also best friends with a female. There was also no question that said female was quite attractive. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

"What about her…" Harry started uncertainly.

"I've got to know. Do you fancy her?" Ron asked straight out.

Something flashed in Harry's green eyes and there had been a slight twitch in his fingers. It also took a few seconds for him to answer, and even then, his answer wasn't convincing.

"I-no."

Ron raised his eyebrows. "'I-no?' That's your answer?"

"No! I mean my answer is no. I don't fancy Hermione." His voice sounded oddly constricted.

"Are you sure? I would like to know the truth, Harry," Ron prompted.

"Geez, Ron, what don't you understand?" Harry exclaimed, getting up from his seat and beginning to pace. Ron noted that he lost his temper quite quickly.

"I just want to make sure, mate, there's no harm in being sure."

"Why? Why do you have to be so sure?"

Ron thought fast. He had a feeling that his friend was lying. He figured that Harry really did harbour some feelings for Hermione, but he was being too stubborn about it or just didn't know it yet. So he said something that was sure to wake him up.

"Because I want to ask her out."

Dead silence.

Harry stopped pacing and stared incredulously at Ron.

"You-" he cleared his throat. "-You want to ask her out?"

Ron stood up too, bringing himself almost eye-level to Harry (he was still slightly taller). "Yes. I want to ask Hermione out onto a date. And if it goes well from there, I was hoping she would be my girlfriend."

Ron waited patiently for Harry to say something. The look in Harry's eyes clearly said that he had struck a nerve.

"That's why I was asking. I didn't want anything to… you know."

Harry nodded numbly. "W-well, go ahead. I don't fancy Hermione. Good luck."

"Thanks," Ron said, smiling. "And Harry, I don't want to ruin anything, so if you start feeling uncomfortable, let me know. I'm still here for you, mate." He gave Harry a slap on the back. "Coming up?"

Harry shook his head. "No… I think I'll stay here a little longer. I-I want to study Potions a little bit more."

"Alright then, talk to you tomorrow." He started climbing the staircase to their dormitory and it took him a minute to realize that he may have just gotten himself into trouble. He had just said that he was going to ask Hermione out on a date… and it was in a type of situation where he really would have to ask her out on a date.

Matchmaking was not his thing…

*

"So when are you going to do it?" was the first thing Ron heard when he blinked his eyes open in the morning. He groggily sat up in his bed, the sounds of the other boys rummaging around to get dressed meeting his ears. He looked over at the bed next to him and saw Harry already fully-dressed regarding him with an intense stare. "So? When are you going to do it?" he asked again, his voice a little more forceful.

Ron's head was still a little cloudy from just waking up, but even he got the hint that Harry had seemed to lose sleep over this. He expected as much.

"I dunno. I was thinking today," he muttered sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

"Today?" Harry said, his eyes widening. "So soon?"

"No better time than the present, mate," Ron said, stretching luxuriously. "I still have time to take a shower, don't I?" he asked, quickly changing the subject.

Harry stood up and rushed to Ron's side as he fumbled around in his trunk for a towel. "Well, do you know how you're going to do it? What you're going to say? Where are you taking her?" he questioned rapidly, acting very uncharacteristic. He usually left his nose out of Ron's love life.

"What's it to you, Harry?" Ron demanded with raised eyebrows.

"W-ell, she's one of my best friends, you know. I want the best for her…"

Ron bit his tongue from making a snide remark about all the other blokes who had attempted to court Hermione that Ron had rightfully been against but Harry had rightfully ignored. He rolled his eyes, swung his towel over his shoulder strolling towards the bathroom and said, "Don't worry about it, Harry. I'm going to sweep her off her feet."

As he shut the door to the bathroom, he completely missed Harry muttering, "That's what I'm afraid of…"

*

"Hermione, I need to talk to you," Ron found himself saying as the two of them made their way to the Great Hall. Because he didn't want Harry to actually witness him asking Hermione out on a date, he had left him behind with a bathroom excuse to meet Hermione coming out of her Arithmancy class. She seemed puzzled but agreed as he dragged her into an empty classroom.

"What is it, Ron?" she queried.

"I… er… that is to say, I -" Ron swallowed. "-Will you go on a date with me?"

A few heartbeats went by and all Ron could hear was his blood pounding in his head. He knew that this was all a fake and that he wasn't really asking Hermione out on a date, but that didn't make the task that much easier. In fact, because it was a fake date he was asking her out on, it just increased the pressure.

Hermione gaped at him, her mouth opening as if she were about to say something, but then closing as if she changed her mind. Finally, she was able to get out a, "Are you serious?"

Ron figured that something like this would happen. It's funny how he figured it but didn't really prepare for it.

"Well, yes… yes I am, I-" he froze mid-sentence, pondering on what to say or do next. "Okay, I'm really not-"

"That's low, Ron, dragging me in here and feeding me a lie of wanting to go out with me-"

"But listen to me! No, wait, listen!" he pleaded, grabbing her arm as she spun around to walk away.

She sighed and tried to shrug out of his grasp but didn't continue to walk away. "Ron, this better be good because I can't think of any way for you to come up with a good enough excuse-"

"I know you fancy Harry."

Hermione gawked at him. "I do not!" she denied shrilly.

"Ha ha, nice try. But I'm not done yet. I know you fancy Harry-" Ron raised his voice considerably higher as Hermione began to argue once more, "-but I think he fancies you too!"

She stopped in the middle of her tirade, her face perking up. "Y-you do?"

"Now I thought you didn't fancy Harry."

Her face coloured and she seemed quite bothered. "I didn't say that I did! I was just-"

"But anyway, the reason why I'm asking you out on a date is that… I think Harry is too stubborn to admit that he really does like you. So, I was thinking that maybe this is a good way to get him to wake up and-"

"Ron, why are you butting yourself into this anyway?" Hermione questioned, not sounding angry but quite impatient. "This is something that's between me and Harry!"

"There may as well not be something between you two because Harry is as blind as Trelawney without her overlarge specs and you don't seem to have that much guts in this type of thing. So in doing my duty as best friend to both of you, I-"

"This will never work. Harry's not like that. Harry is just going to sit back and let us do what he thinks is 'making us happy'. He's selfless like that! No, it'll never work!" She crossed her arms, clearly indicating that her mind would not be swayed. Not easily, of course.

"I have reason to think it will," Ron pushed on. "Hermione, why don't you trust me?"

"Ron, it's not that I don't trust you… I would trust you with my life! In fact, I have in one or two occasions already… but with this… this… I just don't see it working!"

"But Hermione! Please!" He then did something that he swore he would never do to a girl… he dropped down on his knees and wrapped his arms around Hermione's legs and begged.

"Ron! What are you--?" She feebly struggled against his hold around her legs, but soon gave up. "Why is this so important? How will it affect you, anyhow?"

"Er…" he mumbled, his cheek rubbing against the fabric of her skirt. "I kind of already told Harry that I'd ask you out."

"You what?!" She gave a mighty push and freed herself from Ron's embrace around her legs. "You already said so? As if you knew I'd agree? What were you thinking? Or rather, were you even thinking?"

Ron, who found himself on the floor, looked up at her helplessly. "I know! I know! It was wrong of me, but I had to improvise! I had to say something! And I really, really think this will work!"

"You have gotten yourself into quite a predicament, Ronald Weasley. It will be a delight watching you get out of it." She began marching out of the doorway.

"H-how about we make a deal…"

Despite herself, Hermione stopped and spun around, but not without rolling her eyes. "A deal," she repeated.

"Yes. If this doesn't work out… I'll do something incredibly embarrassing…"

"Ron, no price of embarrassment can measure up to the amount of hurt and confusion that will come out of this! What if you ruin the friendship between you and Harry?"

Any arguments on Ron's part slowly fell dead as he realized the impact of what he was doing and the truth behind Hermione's words. But…

"What's life without a little bit of risk?" he said, stubbornly ignoring his conscience.

"Ron…"

"Look, Hermione, how else are we going to grab Harry's attention? He sure isn't going to act on it, being the selfless, as you say, bloke he is, not to mention, at times, thick. And you… you're not going to act on it either because-"

"Who's to say I won't?" she asked defiantly.

"If you ask me, you don't have the nerve to go up to Harry and possibly ruin the friendship you have now."

Hermione remained silent, her reasons dying on her lips.

"You're scared."

*

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table for lunch not feeling very hungry. His mind was rather occupied at the moment. He looked at the two empty seats in front of him knowing that the people who usually sat there were… he didn't want to think about it.

"Hey, Harry!" Ginny called out, sitting herself down in Hermione's seat. "Where's Ron? And Hermione?"

Harry shrugged dumbly. "I dunno. Snogging somewhere…" he said dejectedly.

Ginny's riotous laugh met his ears. "Yeah… right… snogging!" she managed to gasp out between spurts of laughter. Wiping away a tear of mirth, her gaze was met with Harry's dead serious and quite scary stare. She sobered up immediately. "Wait… are you--?"

"Hello, friends!" Ron's voice exclaimed as he approached the table with Hermione close beside him.

"I can't believe you're making me do this…" she whispered through gritted teeth into his ear, a fake smile plastered onto her face.

"Just stop it. You're the one that eventually caved in and agreed," he whispered back. Sitting down, he straightened up and gave a throat-clearing cough. "Er… me and Hermione have some news…" he stuttered. Ginny looked at the pair of them in complete wonder while Harry's look was a cross between shock and absolute horror. "We-"

"Wergoinonadate!" Hermione blurted out, immediately clapping her hands to her mouth afterwards. All of them stared at her and she slowly lowered her hands and shrugged. "Yes. We're… as in, Ron and me… are going on a date. This weekend. In Hogsmeade." She took a few deep breaths. "Oh god, Ron, this is so weird," she whispered so only Ron could hear.

"Wow, you guys are already whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears?" Ginny asked jokingly, yet still looking surprised that the two of them actually paired up.

"Ha ha, very funny, Gin. Sweet nothings into each other's ears," Ron said, giving a short, awkward laugh. He had no idea how Harry and Ginny were believing this, but they miraculously were.

"Well, it looked like it," Ginny pointed out.

"Some things in a relationship should only be kept between the two people," Ron answered back.

"So, how did it all happen? I guess I should say that I'm not surprised, because it always seemed that you two had something going on…"

"It did?!" Harry, Ron and Hermione said in astonishment at the same time.

Ginny eyed them apprehensively. "Er… yes, I guess so. But as I was saying, how did it all happen?" She looked pointedly at Hermione.

"Me?" Hermione asked. "Oh… well… I-"

"I guess you could say it started when me, Harry and Hermione were talking about relationships one day," Ron swooped in. Hermione glanced at him, but he ignored her. "We were just, I dunno, wondering about potential girlfriends and boyfriends. I just remember Hermione saying that she really liked a guy that could make her feel special… like she was needed. She was just so passionate about it… I thought that was really cool. She knew what she wanted in a guy and… I hoped that I could be that guy…"

Everyone stared at Ron in awed silence. Then out of her own volition, Hermione took a hold of Ron's hand on the table, her eyes sparkling happily. "Wow, Ron. I had no idea you remembered I said all that… that must have been almost a year ago!"

Ron blushed at her amazement, and not just because his acting skills had greatly improved over the course of one minute. He really did remember what she said that night. He didn't know why, but he just did. Harry coughed suddenly, startling everyone.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Ginny turned back to Ron and Hermione. "So what are you two planning to do at Hogsmeade?"

"Maybe just walk around a bit," Hermione answered smoothly. She and Ron looked at each other and both of them understood that, maybe, pretending to date wasn't going to be so hard.

*

Ron and Hermione didn't think that they would have to act like a couple so much during classes, but once word got out that the two of them were dating, people were confronting them left and right. They asked questions like Ginny had and they latched onto every word. For once, it seemed that the spotlight wasn't focused solely on Harry. While people bombarded Ron and Hermione with questions about their relationship, Harry remained quiet.

"People at this school are ridiculous!" Hermione exclaimed. "Ron and I haven't even been on our first date and already they're labeling us as 'Hogwarts' Star Couple'. I mean, honestly!" She shook her head. "If only they had been this caught up with news concerning Death Eaters and Voldemort-Ron, don't flinch-then we'd all be better off. Don't you agree, Harry?"

Harry's head whipped up from staring at his feet as if he were taken aback at being called upon. "Hm? Oh… yeah…"

Ron had to say, his plan seemed to be coming along. If he was misreading Harry's signs of distance as some sort of deep, down jealousy, then fate was cooperating with him. He felt rather proud of it.

Harry, on the other hand, was deeply confused. He didn't understand why the thought of Ron and Hermione dating shook him so. If he thought about it, Ron was probably the very person Harry would have paired Hermione up with if he had the chance.

Right?

He glanced sideways at them at the very moment where Hermione was whispering something in Ron's ear. The two of them had done that a lot throughout the day and to him, it looked like they were about to kiss or they really were whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears. It made his stomach churn.

"So, Harry, what are you going to be doing at Hogsmeade this weekend?" Ron asked, breaking through his thoughts.

Harry's mind went totally blank. He usually went to Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione… but now that they were… unavailable, he had no clue what he was going to do. Ron seemed to sense what was going on in his head because he said, "You can come with us if you want!"

You can come with us if you want.

The words echoed unpleasantly in Harry's brain. It was happening. He was being a third wheel. All three of them were no longer an 'us'. Ron and Hermione were an 'us' and he was just a… him.

He grinned weakly. "That's fine, Ron. I have lots of work to catch up on anyway."

"You sure?" Ron asked, his eyes clearly saying that it really was okay for him to join them.

"Yes," he responded firmly. "Thanks anyway."

"Alright. If you're sure. But if you change your mind-"

"Thanks," Harry stated flatly again, marking the end of the conversation. Ron nodded slowly and Hermione peered at him in concern.

He really didn't like it when she looked at him like that. That one look from her could be the very cause for him to pour out his soul to her. And if the circumstances had been different, he probably would have… but things were… not the way he had planned.

He didn't have the liberty to pour out his soul to her and tell her all his feelings.

She was taken… by his best friend, and that thought rang nastily in his mind.

*

Hogsmeade weekend approached frightfully fast for all three.

Ron and Hermione were quite stunned that it was the weekend already and that they would have to go on their "first date". Hermione was beginning to think that it was entirely unnecessary, seeing as everyone acted as if she and Ron were an old married couple. Ron insisted that they had to go because the people needed closure and their relationship couldn't live off word of mouth and walks through Hogwarts alone… the people would get suspicious.

Harry found that the weekend came fast and it made him miserable. Not only were his two friends practically abandoning him (although he still swore that everything was fine) but he found that he had no plans. He felt awfully alone… a feeling that he was quite accustomed to, but it made it no more pleasing.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Ron asked again as he buttoned up the last button on his cloak. He was kind of afraid of going on his pretend date and had wanted Harry for company… to make the experience less awkward. He was quite surprised that no one picked up on it… it wasn't normal for a guy to ask someone to join him on his first date so much.

"Yes, I'm sure, Ron. Now go have a fun time with Hermione," Harry heard himself saying flippantly. He leafed through the newest Quality Quidditch Supplies catalogue in hopes of getting "Hogwarts' Star Couple" off his mind. "I didn't really feel like going to Hogsmeade anyway."

"Alright then-Hey, Hermione, you ready?" Ron said, calling to the staircase.

He didn't know why, but Harry found himself to turn and look. He saw this girl almost everyday, and yet, seeing her descend the stairs at that moment gave an almighty whack to his body.

She looked exceptionally beautiful that moment. It wasn't something she had done physically, though the skirt and sweater she chose flattered her, but it was more of the aura she radiated. She seemed more confident and happier… the smile that lit up her face almost made Harry want to open his mouth agape.

This was Hermione. Only Hermione. And only the most wonderful girl Harry had ever known.

"I'm ready!" she replied to Ron, walking with a little skip in her step, Harry observed distastefully.

"Well then, shall we go?" Ron asked, holding out his arm to her. She hooked hers through his and they chuckled with one another. Harry raised the book to obscure his entire face.

"We sure can… oh wait!" She strode over to Harry, who was trying to hide himself behind the book. Maybe if he concentrated hard enough, she wouldn't talk to him…

"Um… excuse me, Harry, but I need my cloak and you're arm is on it… thanks," she said. Harry watched forlornly as she put on her cloak. Fate never cooperated with him. "Hey Harry, did you want to come with us?" she asked suddenly, smiling that smile.

Somehow, the words sounded ten times worse coming from her. Harry guessed it was because he didn't like the pity that coated each syllable… coming from her.

"No thanks, Hermione. Have a good time."

A hint of regret flashed in her eyes, which Harry thought was probably his imagination. She said, "Alright then. We'll see you later." And he watched his two best friends exit the Common Room, arms linked together, and felt his heart drop.

*

Ron had thought that a simple walk through Hogsmeade at all the usual stores, then a warm Butterbeer to end the day would be good enough. Not to say that it wasn't, but everywhere he and Hermione went, students from the school would stare at them, coo at them ("Aww… aren't they adorable?"), or ask questions about them ("So, Hermione, what has been the most romantic thing Ron has done for you?" "Er… I don't know… we've only been dating for three days…"). It was absurd and very annoying. By the afternoon, Ron wanted very much to leave.

"You would think we had done something as big as win an Order of Merlin," Hermione whispered vehemently under her breath. "Can we please leave, Ron?"

"Sure, can we just grab a Butterbeer though? After what we've been through, I'm kind of craving one."

As soon as the door swung open and the merry chimes of the bells signaled their entrance, Ron regretted wanting to fulfill his Butterbeer craving. As usual (he didn't know why he didn't think about it!), the pub was swarming with students, all of whom looked up the moment he and Hermione entered.

There was a significant pause in all the babble as everyone regarded the pair. It lasted a split second, and Ron awkwardly made his way to the bar with Hermione in tow.

"Hi, Madam Rosmerta. Three Butterbeers, please? To go?" he requested, thinking about Harry sitting back at the castle.

The friendly barmaid grinned toothily at them. "Sure. Anything for Hogwarts' Star Couple!"

Ron wanted to buy the copyrights for that name. After all the times he had heard it being used, he figured that he'd have a fortune. "Thanks," he said through gritted teeth.

"Ron, this is horrible," Hermione said, looking positively pained.

"Sorry…" Ron answered, thinking that Hermione hated the thought of dating him. He didn't blame her after what they had to overcome.

"Not that I find dating you horrible… but this is horrible. You know what I mean." Ron looked sideways at her and saw her smiling slightly. "I actually think you're being a good boyfriend, Ron! Any witch that dates you is lucky."

Ron smiled, touched at her compliment. "Gee, thanks, Hermione…" he responded shyly.

"No problem," she replied back. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, which would have been really nice, if it hadn't been ruined by the flash of a camera going off.

"Colin! What the hell are you doing?" Ron demanded, seeing the lanky sixth year with the same, old camera hanging around his neck.

"It's for my yearly Hogwarts scrapbook! I take pictures to show my dad," he explained. "What use is it when I don't have a picture of Hogwarts' Star Couple!" He grinned. "I'll give you two copies once I get them developed!" he near-shouted as he walked away from them.

"Perfect." Ron sighed.

"Three Butterbeers to go!" Madam Rosmerta called. Paying quickly, Ron and Hermione dashed out of the pub.

"That was an eventful date," Hermione said. "Not like I got to properly talk to you or anything," she said, referring to the day mostly spent talking to other people about their relationship.

"It could have been worse," Ron said, trying to take on the optimistic view.

"I guess…" Hermione answered sullenly, kicking at a few stones as they walked back to the castle.

Ron stared at her sideways and gave a light touch on her shoulder. She turned her head to look at him and he said, "Don't worry. It shouldn't take him long…"