Title: Hermione's Stalker
Author: LilPrincess48
Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter. As you can see, Harry and Hermione got together by Book 3, if not sooner. Ginny is dating Draco behind Ron's back, there are many more mentions of Harry's parents, Voldemort is gay, Sirius Black has been declared innocent of all charges, the Dursleys were turned into peppermints and Peter Pettigrew got his head chopped off, instead of just his finger.
… Obviously, since none of this has happened in the books, I don't own Harry Potter.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Challenge Fic. Harry shows up on Hermione's doorstep over the summer, only to find that one of her Muggle friends is crushing on Hermione -- With stalkerish tendencies. So Harry steps up, pretending to be Hermione's guy. It's all giggles from there.
Author's Note: It's hot. I'm tired. I'm also lazy. But, hey, this is my second challenge. Maybe this one's as good as the last, maybe not. Also, warning, don't slash tires. It's illegal, I think.
Category: Romance. Humor. Fun.
Spoilers: None. Well, books 1 - 4, and maybe 5. I haven't read five so I may be off on a few things. Don't kill me!
Feedback: Please.
Setting: Hogwarts, Summer between 6th and 7th Year
Date Begun: June 14, 2004
Date Posted: June 15, 2004
Chapter 1: Yes, Harry My... What?!
Hermione was about to go around to her backyard where her Mom and Dad were throwing the usual summer block party when a loud roar that sounded suspiciously like a motorcycle stopped her in her tracks. She stood on her porch, her eyes narrowing as, from out of the sky, landed a motorcycle. Riding it was none other than her best friend, Harry Potter.
"Hey Mione." He said, coming to a stop in front of her and getting off what Hermione now realized to be Sirius' bike.
Voldemort had been defeated, at last, so Harry was now free to roam around as much as he pleased, not to mention that they'd thought it fitting to leave Sirius' motorcycle to him after Black's death. Harry had been enjoying his new bike quite a bit since he got it, especially when it came to scaring the Dursleys out of their minds by threatening to ride it outside wher epeople could see him.
"Harry! What are you doing here?" Hermione shouted, rushing towards him with a bright smile on her face. She was overjoyed to see him, for more reasons than one. Not only was he her first bit of contact from the wizarding world since they'd been let out for summer break, but Hermione was also sporting quite a bit of a crush on the Boy-Who-Lived.
In addition to all that, she had the distinct feeling that she was being watched, not by somebody dangerous, but, overall, she did feel much safer with Harry around.
"Just thought I'd drop in for a visit. The Dursleys said I could stay over as long as I didn't come back with any of my limbs." Hermione rolled her eyes as she enveloped Harry in a hug. She couldn't imagine why anybody would hate him as much as the Dursleys seemed to. Then again, Hermione had never thought they had much sense in the first place. "So, can I? I mean, if it's not too much trouble for you and your family, of course."
"Sure. We'd be happy to have you. Mum-" Hermione was cut off as a loud cheer rang out from the backyard and a bunch of balloons floated up from behind the house and into the sky, each wearing the message: Granger Family Block Party.
"What's going on, then?" Harry asked, setting his helmet down on the seat of the motorcycle, whipping out his wand, and saying a quick anti-theft spell. Not that he'd expect anybody to steal it anyway and whoever did was likely to bring it back after he fell from fifty feet in the air.
"We're throwing a block party. We do this every summer you see and-"Hermione was once again cut off, this time by the appearance of some kids her age coming around the house. One was a girl with shoulder length blond hair and baby blue eyes, snapping chewing gum loud enough to make the neighbors three houses down peek out the window. The second kid was a boy with spiky black hair and brown eyes who looked more like he was ready to go cause trouble than hang around here. The last kid was a suspicious looking boy with brown hair and matching eyes, holding a bouquet of flowers in his left hand. Harry raised an eyebrow and leaned back against his motorcycle.
"Hermione," The girl said, blowing a bubble, popping it, then smacking the gum again. "What are you doing here? Who's he?"
Harry, personally, was willing to overlook the gum snapping and actually like this girl if she really didn't know who he was. It was rare to find someone nowadays who wasn't pointing at his scar and nearly causing traffic jams by darting across the street to shake his hand.
"This is Harry Potter, my-"
"Hermione," Said the brown haired boy with the flowers, giving Harry a look that clearly said 'Back off'. It took all Harry had not to grin in sheer amusement. "I-I got these f-for you a-and-"
"Er… Thank you Damien." Hermione said, looking uncomfortable and taking the flowers. "I, um… They're pretty…"
"Hermione," The boy, Damien, began again, "I was wondering if you'd-"
"I've already told you, I can't."
"Can't what?" Asked Harry, a tone of interest in his voice. "And can we head around to the party. It was a long trip and I'm kind of-"A loud rumbling from his stomach finished the sentence for him. Harry smiled sheepishly.
"Why not?" Damien protested, not moving from his spot. "You said no all the other times I asked you without telling me why."
"What's going on?" Harry asked again. The blonde and the black-haired boy came up on either side of him.
"I'm Delaney, by the way. And he's Ruben. And, Damien's been trying to get Hermione to go out with him for years now. Ever since they were ten." The blonde explained. Harry got the definite air of a gossip from her. Ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach and chalking it up to severe hunger, he settled for a casual, "Oh?"
"Yeah. It's getting kind of crazy. He's started following Hermione everywhere, leaving her notes… I heard he even tried to tail her to that school she goes to all year, but, according to him, she suddenly disappeared at the train station." Ruben explained, taking a yo-yo out of his pocket and trying to do a trick which ended with Harry getting whacked in the head.
Harry rubbed his forehead and glared at the boy, who merely laughed amusedly.
"Hermione's getting fed up and a little creeped out. I would be too if I were her. Really glad I'm not." Delaney said with another smack of her gum. Meanwhile, the argument between Hermione and Damien seemed to be heating up.
"I already told you, Damien! I CAN'T!"
"Why NOT?!"
"Because… Because…" Hermione seemed to be struggling for an excuse so Harry steppe din to help. He walked over to Hermione and wrapped an arm around her waist.
"Because she's my girlfriend. So, I'm sorry, but she'll have to decline." All three of the children - And Hermione - stared incredulously at Harry like they'd never seen him before. He felt a little uncomfortable under all the attention, but, all the same, he shot a look to Hermione that said 'I'm helping' and didn't back down. Hermione gaped, her mouth opening and closing like a fish before she found her voice.
"Ye-Yes, that's it. Harry and I are… Are a couple so I can't go out with you, Damien. I didn't want to tell you before, but…" Damien was practically fuming as he looked at the two of them looking so comfortable together, not that they had to try very hard for that. They were close friends, after all.
"And how long has this been going on then?" He asked, his voice laced with anger.
"Er…" Harry looked to Hermione for help.
"Since we were both thirteen. Harry and I met at school and we were great friends. Pretty soon we both started to wonder why we could never seem to pay attention to anybody else and decided we may as well try this dating thing. We've been together ever since." Harry looked at Hermione in admiration, wondering if he should be worried that she could make up such a great lie on the spot, or that he kind of… Wished it were true.
"Why didn't you say something Hermione?" Delaney practically squealed. "That's great! And here I thought you were a dateless loser!" At the matching glares she received from Harry and Hermione, she quickly amended her statement. "I mean… I thought you weren't… Er… I think I hear some soda being opened."
The girl quickly retreated to the back of the house, followed by Ruben. Damien, however stayed behind, his eyes narrowed at Harry. "Fine. You better hope you appreciate her, Potter."
Harry mentally rolled his eyes. Just what he needed. Another guy who hated his guts. He was vaguely reminded of Malfoy with the way the kid was glaring at him. The image disturbed him.
"Er… Hermione, can we, er, go get some food now?" In a lower voice he whispered, "I don't like how he's looking at me."
"Sure." Smiling brightly, Hermione took his hand and began leading him to the backyard. Once they were out of Damien's earshot, she grinned even more. "Harry, that was brilliant! What were thinking? Oh, but that was brilliant!"
"Um, thank you. I figured you needed some help. Delaney and Ruben were telling me what was going on. Why didn't you ever tell us at school?" Hermione shrugged at the question.
"What would be the point? You wouldn't know who he was nor could you have done anything about it. Well, until now." Harry had to agree with that. "And, anyway, thanks. Thanks a lot."
"How long do you think we'll have to keep this up before he backs off?"
"Well, Ruben told me he's got a... Shrine that has... Bits of my hair in it... In addition to..." Hermione turned bright red as she said the next part. "A pair of my knickers--" Harry snickered. "So, we may have to do this all summer."
"All the excuse to stay then." Harry wrapped his arm around Hermione's shoulder and pulled her close. "Let's go then, darling. I'm very hungry."
"Always thinking about your stomach. You've been spending too much time with Ron." Hermione unwrapped herself from his embrace and began walking, Harry not far behind her.
"Hey, Mione?"
"Yes?"
"If I successfully pull off this whole boyfriend thing... Do I get a pair of your knickers, too?"
The bottle of water that came flying towards his head gave him all the answer he needed.