"To be or not to be a Weasley"
Chapter 12: Beautiful Chaos
By: Adrial
AN: Everything in italics is a memory.
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I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before
Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be…
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before
Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where are you gonna go?
Where are you gonna go?
Salvation is here…
"Dare You to Move" By: Switchfoot
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Breathing seemed like such a natural, automated function of the body that even as Ginny felt her lungs close up and her mouth purse tightly, refusing to let in any type of air, she barely knew she was doing it. It wasn't until she had to remind herself that the burning sensation that she felt gnawing at her chest belonged to a lack of oxygen that she released her held breath and drew in a new one.
She'd been stumbling clumsily up the steps to the Gazing Room, feeling as if her feet couldn't possibly have moved her there fast enough, when she heard the voices. They were angry, one furious, one whimpering and frustrated. Ginny tiptoed up the final few steps, leaning forward closer to hear and wishing she'd brought along an extendable ear or two from her secret stash the twins had given her before the start of school. ("Just in case you miss us and want to cause a bit of mayhem in our honor. Just don't put the pixie wings anywhere near Ron-he's already been turned blue by one and shrunk by another. The poor bloke…")
Sighing, she realized that she didn't need one anyway. The two bantering voices were loud enough for her to barely have to tilt her head to hear well.
"…thought I was enough! Why can't I just be bloody enough for you?!"
"Oh, shut up that blubbering hole of yours for once! I'm not in the mood!"
Ginny gasped. Draco…
The girl was whimpering again, and Ginny noted the pause in sniffles, guessing that she'd stopped to wipe her face off.
"You…you've changed…why have you…what have you done to the old Draco?" Her voice shook and wavered, but Ginny focused on the smooth parts to identify the speaker. The voice was familiar, but it seemed as if Ginny had never heard it in such a manner before-pleading and vulnerable. It had been much stronger before, she knew. It was like-
"Pansy, I've told you a hundred times. Stop following me every damn place I go and leave me be!"
Stomping feet began to make their way to the door, and Ginny nearly felt her heart jump in her throat. She'd be caught! Clamping a hand over her mouth, she started to turn, but then there was the sound of rapidly shuffling feet and painful sobs and the stomping ceased.
"No! You can't just leave me! Look at all I've done for you, Draco! Just-LOOK!" Pansy's sobs made Ginny's heart twist painfully. What on earth could Draco have done to get this girl so desperate for him?
There was a tense pause for a long moment. The shadows beneath the crack in the door had stilled, and Ginny furrowed her brow, wishing she could see through walls. Pansy's quiet, frantic sobs were the only indication that people were actually behind the door.
Finally, there was a deep sigh, and Draco spoke again. "Let go of me, Pansy."
Pansy's breaths rattled, and the shadows began to stir again. "I-I thought it would make you happy. I…I wanted to surprise you, Draco. Aren't you happy? Just look again-"
"NO! I'm not going to fucking LOOK again, Pansy! What were you bloody thinking, anyway? That I'd fall to my knees and kiss your bleeding feet? That this stupid act would make me fall in love with you?!"
"It's not an act, Draco! I-I LOVE YOU!" The muffled sound of punches suddenly protruded through the doors, and Ginny knew Pansy must have been upset enough to beat the sense out of Draco.
"I love you!! Why can't you see it? I-did-this-for-YOU! Don't push me away, please-Ack!"
The door shook on its hinges as if a body had been flung against it. Ginny gasped and stumbled back away from it. Her knees were wobbly as she staggered down the steps slowly, and she lashed the back of her hand across her eyes, alarmed to find that they had been filled with tears.
Draco's lethal voice followed her as she descended.
"I don't give a damn what anyone told you or what you did for me. I don't want you, and I DO NOT LOVE YOU!"
"Oh, but you love her, don't you?! You chose her over me! All I need to know is why, Draco? Just tell me the fuck WHY!!"
A fist pounded against the door, and Ginny knew this time that it was Draco's. The door rattled, and Pansy cried out as if his blow had actually struck her. Ginny rushed down the last few steps and slid into a corner, out of sight and not trusting enough of her legs to make the long walk back to her dormitory.
"Oh, Merlin…" Ginny whispered, leaning her head back against the cold stone and breathing in and out deeply. What had she just overheard? Pansy Parkinson declaring her love for Draco? No…she'd heard much more; she knew it and she felt it. Before she had more time to think it over, though, the fumbling sound of footsteps overhead filled the air, and she ducked deeper into the corner.
She watched silently as Pansy gasped and sobbed her way down the last few steps, yanking her cloak back over her shoulders and rushing right past her dark silhouette without even pausing.
Ginny waited then, stretching her hearing to catch the sound of Draco's own descent. When no such sound could be heard, she sighed and pushed off of the wall slowly. Class would be ending soon and she couldn't be caught meandering through the hallways and not in the infirmary like she was supposed to be.
Peering up through the stairwell, Ginny felt her entire being tug her towards that door where she knew he was. She knew she still had questions for him to answer, curiosities to fulfill. But now hardly seemed like the right time to provoke him, after he'd had an awful row like that.
But why should I bloody care anyway? Ginny nodded stiffly and took the first step surely. Somewhere around the fifth or sixth one, however, anxiety began to creep into her nerves, and she considered turning back. She was the last person on earth who wanted to provoke a furious Malfoy on the tails of a heated argument. She was brave but not suicidal.
But then again… She smiled coyly.
He doesn't have a wand and… She dipped a hand into her robe's pocket. I do.
With that reassurance tucked firmly in her mind, Ginny smiled softly, now taking the steps in two's. The door appeared in front of her sooner than she'd have liked, and she knew there was no turning back. It was now or never.
The door opened noiselessly for the first time since she could remember, and hence did not disturb the brooding form who sat motionlessly at the far end of the room, pale face craned towards the heavens. Ginny's feet slowly moved on their own accordance, leading her to him as they had so many times before. A nameless ache snuck into her chest, one that only eluded her when she'd been away from the Burrow for an entire school year and knew that now she'd be coming back-she'd be coming home.
A soft breeze shuffled past her, tousling her loose curls and rousing some color in her cheeks. She was a few feet from him now, and it as if she knew that he could feel her presence. One of her hands reached out towards him as if to lay itself upon his shoulder in comfort, but she suddenly drew back, closing her eyes against the nostalgia that stung them.
"Knut for your thoughts, Draco?" Ginny giggled playfully and laid a tender hand on his shoulder as he poured over a piece of parchment, quill tip inserted in his mouth thoughtfully.
Shaken from his reverie, Draco turned to her and let her smile have its usual affect on him, which was always preceded by her typical greeting. Feeling a bit lighter, he shrugged. "You know the drill, Weasley. Five galleons or no deal."
Ginny rolled her eyes in response and plopped down unceremoniously beside him.
"When are you ever going to give me a friendly discount on those things, eh? I'm nearly broke from the day you failed your Transfig. test and wouldn't tell me for three whole hours why you'd been scowling at everything all bloody day."
Grinning coyly, she added, "Not that it was a change, per se, but whenever Draco Malfoy forgets to primp before leaving his dormitory between classes, I know there must be something terribly amiss."
Draco glared at her reproachfully, "I did not fail, Weasley. I merely had a misunderstanding with that old bat and she settled the matter by deeming my garden snake an earthworm and docking me fifty points."
Ginny promptly snorted, eliciting a cringe of disgust from Draco which she ignored. "Whatever you say, Oh Great One, but we both know that you transfigured a set of fangs on your snake and set it on Neville when she wasn't looking. That's why she docked you the points, and also the reason I had to help you do two extra rolls of parchment last week on the essay she made you do to make up for it."
"Honestly, do you ever tire of that mouth of yours, Weasley?"
"Do you ever tire of asking me that question, Malfoy?"
Draco gave her sideways glance, "Good point. Now leave me alone so I can finish this letter. It's a very important inquiry to the ministry, mind you, and I don't need any distractions."
"What have you to correspond with the ministry for?" She eyed him incredulously.
Draco sighed as it was blatantly obvious. "My father has been otherwise detained, if you have not noticed, and it's up to me to uphold his business with Fudge, Weasley. Like I said, it's far too important for one such as your self to understand.
Ginny nodded, though she didn't believe him for a minute, and she cautiously peered over his shoulder once he'd returned to his writing again. She inched a few centimeters closer, hoping he wouldn't notice, but when he suddenly whipped his head around to face her with a glare, she smiled meekly and pretended to be criticizing the lint on his cloak.
"You're a mess, really, Draco." She tipped her wand at him and muttered a few words that made the invisible specks disappear. "There you are." She smiled approvingly, "All better. Please, do continue to work and ignore me."
She turned to her own books and withdrew her History of Magic text. The chapter was about the fall of the great Wizard Ashalom or someone or the other, but Ginny wasn't really paying all that much attention. Draco had begun to scribble furiously across the parchment, only pausing to reload his quill with ink.
Deeply curious now, she scooted a bit further forward, pretending to be getting out another book. She could just make out the addressee's name…
"Weasley, if you insist upon trying to read what I'm writing, I must suggest you give it up. It's none of your damn business." Draco didn't even have to look up to see the look of bewilderment on her face and his quill continued to waltz across the page.
Ginny huffed. "I wouldn't care anyway. I've much better things to worry about. The fall of Ashwash and other such…riveting…infor…mation," She grinned cheekily and turned her book upside right once she'd realized what he was looking so smug about.
"Oh, do shut up." She growled and plopped the book back in her lap.
"Never said a word."
"Yes, well, you were thinking it."
"Are you a mind reader now?"
"No, I just know when you're being an arse. Your lip starts to curl and you do that obnoxious thing with your nose-yes, that." She tapped the tip of his perfectly proportioned nose with her quill. It had been flaring slightly and scrunching as if he was mulling over some evil thought.
Draco recoiled and shrugged her off. "Whatever you say, Weaslette."
"Exactly."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Alright! I don't want to play this stupid game anymore. I'm bored."
"Finally, the Weasel has successfully managed to achieve the maturity level of a five year old."
"No, I haven't!" She exclaimed defensively, and then with a thoughtful look followed by a smirk, Ginny stuck her tongue out at him. "There. Now I have."
"Congratulations."
"Prat."
"At your service, Weasley."
"Well, as the first of your tasks, please do tell your mum that I'd like some more of her treacle tart as well-the last batch was fantastic." Ginny tried to contain her smug grin and look disinterestedly at her text book. Draco's quill rolled onto the ground, and Ginny barely had a chance to look surprised before he tackled her to the ground, a spark of mischief glinting in his eyes.
"Ouch!" She squealed as her head hit the soft grass with a thud.
Draco growled, but Ginny suddenly began to laugh so hard that her body shook beneath his hands. The hue of her skin nearly matched her hair color as she choked on giggles and struggled to writhe out of his grasp. Draco held her tightly, knowing full well that he'd been caught, but to have the excuse to touch her was enough to play stupid for a moment longer.
It was becoming more frequent lately, his touching her whenever he could get away with it without it seeming as if he actually wanted to. But she was almost begging to be touched. With her soft hair and milky skin-no other girl he'd ever met had looked like her, and he wanted to know what it felt like to touch something so rare. Of course, he'd never admit any of this to himself. That would be unthinkable. He was merely teaching her a lesson-never to be right about Draco Malfoy again.
"Oh, don't get all aggressive now, Mr. Big Business Man!" Ginny choked on a chuckle, "I'm sure F-Fudge would lo-love some of it as w-we-well!"
"Shut that mouth of yours, Weasley," He warned in a growling voice. Ginny merely snorted and playfully punched at his chest.
"Oh, Draco! I'm so s-sc-scared! Please promise you w-won't hurt me!" She laughed even harder, and Draco wondered if that shade of purple was healthy for a face until his own drained a bit in color.
A word in her playful plea had struck something deep inside of his chest.
Hurt…?
How could he possibly hurt her? He felt sick to his stomach all of the sudden and quickly withdrew his body from hers, unwrapping his hands from around her arms.
Now that they were about a foot apart, he let his eyes rove over her to make sure he hadn't bruised her. Ginny watched him as he ran his eyes up and down her body as if inspecting a damaged broom for a bent bristle and she suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Ever since she'd known him, she'd never seen him look worried about someone, as if he actually cared or something. It was a bit unnerving.
"Draco?" Her chest was heaving from the laughter, but she furrowed her brow worriedly at him.
Draco's bluish gaze flashed up to her own, and he shook his head roughly. A few pieces of his hair dislodged themselves from their mold and fell across his eyes, shielding the sparks of realization that had erupted within them.
Ginny reached out cautiously and brushed them aside, staring in earnest into them. She noticed that every now and then this would happen when they were being physical with one another. She would watch as he suddenly recoiled as if struck by something, and his eyes would glaze over, and all he would do was stare at her. She wondered what he might have been thinking at those moments. What harsh realization had impacted him when they were near to one another? She often feared that it was regret for ever giving her the time of day, but the soft flicker in his daze assured her otherwise. There was something he wasn't telling her. Something even she wasn't sure that he knew what it was.
But that something was strong enough to pull her closer to him every single time. It was a magnet between them, attracting their polar bodies towards each other, drawing rapid heart beats and sharp blinks as their eyes moved from each other's to their lips instead.
Ginny wrapped her hand around his own because this time she wouldn't let him get away. There would be no interruptions because this time she knew what he was feeling. Her body hummed from the emotions locked inside of his eyes, and she just knew.
Her lips formed his name, but no sound followed. Draco found his hand cupped around her cheek; like satin it felt to him. Ginny leaned forward, and he tipped her head back. Blinking and winking playfully, the stars watched the scene play out from their reserved seats. Even the moon glittered brighter as they connected. Shadows shifted to be kissed by moonlight as Ginny and Draco embraced each other with no arms, no fumbling excuses, only the assurance that both felt what the other was feeling and both wanted what the other wanted.
Ginny felt her heart stop when Draco's lips touched her own.
"What do you want, Weasley?"
Ginny was yanked from her memories by Draco's chilling demand. Her lips were tingling, just as they had for days after he had kissed her. It had only happened once, but it had been enough.
But now was not then. She was no longer his secret companion, and he had made perfectly clear that he had no intention of having a repeat of that afternoon. Ginny swallowed over her dried throat and took a step forward, forcing herself to remember her purpose in approaching him.
"I want the truth, Draco."
With his back turned against her, Ginny could not see the look of defeat nestled deep into his eyes.
"What truth, Weasley?" He questioned coldly, still refusing to turn.
Ginny bit her lip and stepped closer until she could feel the heat from his body on her leg. Nodding to herself resolutely, she stepped around him and kneeled before his body. His gray eyes were glassy with thought, and as they snapped over to hers, Ginny saw so many different messages held within them that she herself could not have remained standing if she had been.
"Again I ask," His voice cut the air like ice, "What truth?"
Ginny frowned. "I want to know what happened on Saturday at the match. I want to know the truth about my savior. I-I know it wasn't Harry."
Draco's eyes darkened, but he waged an inner struggle within himself to keep them locked on hers. "Why do you care, Weasley? You're alive and well now. Why not boost Potter's ego a bit and let him think he's Hero Boy again?"
Ginny glared at him, "Because I think the person who is responsible for my safety owes it to me to reveal himself. Even if he is a stuck up, snobby, stubborn old oaf who probably couldn't perform a good deed unless you paid him five million galleons and promised never to tell anyone."
Draco's icy shield broke, and he glared deeply into her eyes, nearly singeing the hazel irises.
"So what if I fucking saved your arse, Weasley? Is that what you want? Now you've got your "hero". Sorry if I'm not as bloody dashing as Potter, but frankly, Hero of the Day never really was my goal in life."
Ginny glared back at him, feeling her temper rise. "Stop being such a pompous git, alright? I came here to thank you, but obviously you're undeserving."
"I don't need your thanks, Weasley. In fact, I wouldn't care if you fell off your broom five hundred feet in the air again!"
"Then why did you save me the first time?!"
"Because obviously I had a serious lack in judgment!"
Ginny growled and suddenly felt her body light on fire. She was through beating around the damn bush. She pounced on Draco before he even knew what hit him and had him pinned to the ground before she even knew what hit her.
"That's it, you prat! I want the truth, right here, right now!" Her icy tone penetrated him deeply, and as he tried to accustom himself to the feeling of her so near to him again, he felt two months of silence aching in his throat to be released. But he couldn't. He forced the words down like a ball of fire and kept his mouth shut. His silence, in turn, enraged the fiery-haired girl before him.
"I've seen you, Draco. I know you've been watching over me for the past month like some obsessed fool. Though it seems a bit dodgy to me considering the fact that you told me to bugger the hell off just around the same time. Now, considering the circumstances, don't you think I deserve an explanation?"
Draco tried to move from under her, but her will power overexerted his own. Breathing harshly and looking as if he might be able to spit fire, he glowered at her.
"I don't owe you a damn thing, Weasley! Now get the hell off me!"
Ginny replied by digging her nails deeper into his shoulders and shoving him back down.
"Not until you cooperate!"
"Weasley, I'm warning you…"
"I don't give a damn what you do to me. I just need to know why you're trying to pretend that what we-" She stopped and calmed herself. Draco's face was set in stone, and she knew that expression. He wouldn't budge. His eyes were opaque and unyielding to anyone. Ginny shook her head slowly. "Oh, just forget it. I give up, Draco."
Ginny's hazel eyes were clouding with angry tears, and Draco's fogged into a murky gray hue as she sighed dejectedly and let go of his arms. Lifting up her body from his, she rolled over and stood on her feet shakily.
Draco let himself stay in a hazy shock for a moment or two before joining her. As he straightened his back aristocratically and eyed her with vivid gray orbs of mixed emotions, Ginny felt as if she'd lost the one person in the world who she truly ever thought understood her. All this time, even after he'd thrown away what they could have had that afternoon, she'd held the hope that their fate could turn into a "maybe" instead of a nonexistent nothing. Ginny felt her insides cringe and freeze at the realization that perhaps there was no hope, but she wouldn't leave until he knew.
"I want you to know that I have been waiting for weeks for you to come up to me and tell me that all of this…this pushing me away and acting as if I never meant anything to you was all a hoax. You have no idea-" Ginny paused there, not willing to let her emotions choke her up in front of him. "You have no idea how much I sacrificed to be there for you. My friends, my family-I had to lie to all of them countless times; I broke their trust and ignored their feelings all for you. I did all of that for you, Draco, because once upon a time ago, I cared for you."
Free-flowing tears cascaded down Ginny's cheeks now, and she didn't bother to brush them aside. They'd been waiting too long to be released, and she could deny them no longer.
Taking a step forward, Ginny gauged his mindset. When he did not immediately step away from her, she took another towards him and finally stood inches from his chest.
"I came here to find out if all of that was for nothing, Draco. Tell me right now if everything we've been through together was all a waste of time. Because if it was, then I've got a lot of good people that I need to apologize to."
She folded her arms across her chest firstly to feel more secure and secondly to make sure that she was still capable of moving without falling to pieces. And then, she waited.
Draco merely stared back at her, his face more unreadable than Hermione's advanced Ancient Rune's notes. He watched this girl, this tiny little vixen trapped in the body of an angelic-faced dragoness. He'd forgotten in the past month what exactly he had given up when he sent her away. But how could he have kept up their relationship, whatever it may have been? Not with his secret…not with his fate stuck in the way. And all she was asking was everything he had left. All he had was the time he'd spent with her. It was what kept him going as he walked along biding his time. The memory of her laughter, the vision of her face, the feeling of her touch…
"So you want to know if I ever get tired of being a Malfoy?"
Ginny nodded slightly.
"Are you mad?"
"I'd rather be a Weasley than ever have to live the life of a Malfoy."
"Give me one good reason why you'd rather be poor and shadowed by fifty brothers when you could be the sole heir to an endless fortune?"
She'd paused before…
"Love."
"Draco…?"
His eyes snapped open. He'd barely even realized that he'd closed them in the first place. But she was still in his mind, still in his heart, still teaching him, still chipping away at the resolve he'd worked so many years to construct.
"You're never going to understand are you? That there are things more important than pride in this world?"
He wasn't so sure that he didn't understand now. But wasn't pride all he had left? He was supposed to accept his fate like an adult, like his father, the same fate he'd known he'd been destined to since his birth. The fate of a death eater. A fate that would unavoidably end in darkness.
Footsteps jogged his senses as he felt a large degree of warmth dissolve from the air around him. She was leaving…
"Ginny…" He felt himself call her name but did not feel his legs carry him to her, nor did he feel his arms reach out her grab her, pulling her against his body and holding onto her lithe form as tightly as his arms could.
He felt the need for another human being so strongly at that moment that the intensity of the emotion nearly brought him to his knees. The fear that he was acting like a fool nearly paralyzed him, along with the dread that if he let her go he would lose her light forever, and as he faced the darkest journey of his life, he knew that her light would be the guide that would see him through to the other side, whether it be perilous turmoil or peace.
So enraptured by his own feelings, he barely felt her sobbing form quaking in his embrace. If her arms had not been pinned to her sides by his tight embrace, Ginny would have turned around and wrapped them around his body just as tightly as he held hers. Loaded tears slipped off of the curve of her cheeks and landed on her jumper and Draco's arms around her waist.
She inhaled between sobs, trying to move but unable to budge.
"Draco…" She whimpered, feeling as if she couldn't stand it a moment longer if she couldn't look him in the eye.
His eyes flew open at the desperate edge in her voice, and he slowly eased his grip around her though not fully releasing her. Ginny shifted and turned around to face him, her liquid hazel eyes shaking with unshed tears. Draco's face was paler than the moon that glowed above them, but he'd never looked so beautiful to her in all the time she'd known him. And he truly was beautiful. She lifted a hand to his face and trailed her thumb underneath his eye, wiping the stubborn wetness that refused to slip.
In his eyes she thought she was watching a revolution occurring, complete with battle cries and smoke and firearms. He was waging war against himself to hold her so close to his heart, and she knew it as she witnessed the sparks fly in his irises.
"You don't have to fight alone, Draco. You never had to…" She leaned her head against his chest for a moment but immediately, he slipped his hand beneath her chin to bring her face back to where he could see it.
"But…you don't understand, Ginny. You don't know what I'm-"
"That doesn't matter to me, Draco! Can't you see that? I'm not asking to understand…I'm just asking for you. You don't have to be alone, Draco…" She whispered shakily, choking on tears as she fought to contain her composure. "I don't want to be alone either. Not without you." She felt her heart seize up as each of these words left her lips, but she refused to let inhibitions rule her any longer. It was time for honesty, and not time for obstinacy. She would give him all of her, and in doing so, she would show him that she was sincere.
Reaching up to cradle his face in her hands, Ginny thought she was seeing the eyes of a child staring back at her. Wide and afraid of new things, new ideas, new feelings. A vulnerable Draco was something she'd caught glimpses of while he laughed or snippets of when he held her as she cried, but now, he was laying out his soul for her to see, and she was moved in unimaginable ways by it all.
Draco heard her promise and thought he'd never heard sweeter words before in his entire life. Could it possibly work? Could he continue to adhere to his father's wishes and be with this angel who was so willingly sacrificing for him?
As the ghost of Ginny's lips left tingling spots all over his face, he knew that he was in too deep to turn back now. It had to work, because he was going to give himself this luxury that she spoke so candidly of the first time they met. Of all the riches his father had ever given him, he'd found someone who could match them all with one single emotion.
"Ginny…I…I'm s-"
"Sshhh…" She covered his lips with her fingertips. "You don't have to say anything now.
Just…feel, Draco." And she reached up with her hands and brought her face to his, molding their mouths
together in an embrace that sent shocks rushing from the ends of their hair to the tips of their feet, darting in all
directions like an eruption of beautiful chaos.
As Draco melted his lips with hers, he forgot about pride, he threw dignity to the winds, and he allowed himself to feel. And he knew that if the Dark Lord came and took him away that very moment, he would be able to survive any curse thrown his way if he could power his magic with this single feeling. It was loaded with more than any spell he'd ever learned or dreamed of learning, and it scared him senseless at the same time as it pummeled its way through his resolve, his plans for the future, his heart and his soul. But then again, he was beginning to realize that with Ginny Weasley nothing ever seemed to go according to plan.
Ginny felt her lungs burning, but she ignored them. Draco's lips had never felt so right against her own. Even their first real kiss hadn't compared. It had been hasty and quick and awkward afterwards. This time, she felt as if she was touching part of his soul and giving him hers in turn. His arms were around her, and she'd snaked her up around his neck, standing on tiptoe to gain leverage.
As their kiss deepened, neither was thinking clearly. The grass parted for their bodies to kneel upon, and Draco held her close to him as they continued to explore each other. Ginny's back was on the grass and Draco was leaning over her, pouring his thoughts into her body through their lips.
Soon, when she felt as if the intoxicating feel of his body against hers might suck her in and never set her free, Ginny reluctantly broke apart. They were left wanting more, most notably, but also feeling as if the weight of the world had been lifted from their shoulders. Ginny sighed heavily, closing her eyes to revel in being so close to him. Draco was breathing deeply, probably yearning more than she for an extended replay, but willing to be satisfied for now because there in her eyes was a promise for more, and that was enough for him.
Both of them breathing deeply, they stayed in their protective embrace for a while, feeling the other's heartbeat, asking themselves why they felt so scared and pacified at the same time. Finally, Ginny broke the silence.
"So, Draco…what's your truth now?"
Looking at her with an unreadable expression, Draco shook his head slowly, trying to ebb away the paralyzing fear of this new person who had taken over his body. He couldn't ever be the same person now, not with her at least. But he would never be the same person again; two months promised him a whole new life-without Ginny Weasley. That was his truth, and it was everything that he could not tell her.
"I don't want to think about truths anymore, Ginny." And he crashed his lips against hers again, successfully altering her mindset into something less analytical.
Ginny left him hours later, her lips swollen and red, after having to practically force herself to let him go. Nothing had ever felt so right to her as it had being in his arms.
At the door, Draco leaned against the frame, blonde hair askew and lips just as reddened as hers.
"What do we do now?" Ginny whispered, toying with his long fingers in her hand. Draco reached up and held her face in his hand.
"I don't know, Gin."
"Just promise me…that you won't pull something like that again, alright?" She smiled gently at him, eyes full of hope.
"Only if you promise never to let that smarmy arse, Thomas, touch you ever again."
Ginny laughed at that and held out her hand automatically, which he took, feeling how perfectly it fit in his own.
"Deal." She reached up and placed a warm kiss on his cheek first and then his lips, stopping before she wouldn't be able to. Draco shifted on his feet awkwardly, something completely uncharacteristic of him, and Ginny thought he'd never looked more adorable.
"Gin…I-erm…well, what I wanted to tell you was that…I'm really…well, I might be…just a little-"
"Draco," She laughed, shaking her head, "Apology accepted."
As she started to walk away, a tiny tingle in the back of her mind reminded her of something that had been bugging her about the argument he and Pansy had had earlier. She turned around, finding that Draco was still watching her with an elusive expression on his face. Biting her lip, she smiled softly and almost considered writing off the worry completely. But she wanted to start off with a clean slate with him and not have a constant anxiety that he was being pursued by Pansy Parkinson.
"Erm…Draco?" She looked at her feet. Draco walked down a few steps toward her and nodded, waiting.
"I…I know that I shouldn't have been listening…but I overheard you and-and Pansy earlier..." Meeting his eye, Ginny looked for any sign of emotions that might pass through. The only indication that he was fazed by her comment was a tiny flicker of silver.
"Don't worry, Ginny. Pansy and I have been old news for some time now…she's just the only one who hasn't received the memo quite yet." He laughed dryly, and Ginny instantly recognized it as a fake. Not one to be pacified so easily, she pressed on.
"But...what was it that she did for you? What did she want you to lo-"
"Ginny, look," He cupped her cheek and kissed her softly and slowly on her lips, leaving her legs wobbly. "You've nothing to worry over Pansy for. She's been off her rocker since the start of the year. She wanted to show me a-a love letter she'd written to me a while back. Quite sad, really, but I-well you heard everything. I want nothing to do with her."
Ginny bit her lip before saying, "Alright…I'm sorry, I just-"
He smothered Ginny's next words of compliance with his mouth, and sent her off reeling with a drunken-by-kiss haze clouding her eyes and a lightness she'd never felt in her chest. She gave an unsteady wave as she went.
Once her shadow had disappeared down the steps, Draco sighed and ran a hand through his hair shakily.
Merlin…what have I done now?
The tingle of his arm answered him in a sinister voice that he'd let his guard down for that girl and now he would be paying the consequences.
"Damn it!" He threw the rickety door closed, watching as it unhinged itself and clattered noisily to the ground. Walking away from the mess, he rubbed his face with both hands, trying to wipe away the look of dread.
He'd never felt so torn in all his life. There'd never been a choice between light and dark for him before, and now he was being asked to choose. But how could he?
Soon, Ginny would want to know what had driven him away in the first place, and soon, he would have to either tell her and risk their chance for a future or run away and abolish it completely. He suddenly wished she was still in his arms, making him believe that anything was possible for the two of them, that he could do anything as long as she was there.
I am a fool, father… He scolded himself, leaning against the wall of the room heavily. But…for her…I don't think there's any other way to be.
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A few days later, Ginny found herself racing for the Great Hall, laughing madly and picking up her robes so she wouldn't fall and make an arse of herself. Rapidly approaching footsteps drew her attention, but she threw open the doors and scrambled for the cluster of familiar Gryffindors at the middle table.
"Hullo!" She plopped next to Collin and began to greedily fill her plate, trying to tame her blushing cheeks and calm her breathing.
Hermione and Harry exchanged curious glances, but neither spoke. It was Ron, who was seated on the opposite end of the bench from the new duo, that brought it to everyone's attention that-
"You look like hell, Gin. Have you been forgetting to set your alarm again?" He noisily bit into a muffin and chuckled at her glare of disdain.
Ginny was grateful, however, for his own assumption. It was a logical excuse anyway.
"Erm…right. Hailey's bloody bird is a bit sore after I threw it out the window to see if alarm crows could fly last week. I guess I forgot to fix it afterwards. Silly me…" She trailed off and wondered if she'd said too much.
Collin laughed loudly and helped himself to some of her orange juice. "Excellent, Gin. That thing was a menace anyway. You can borrow my Drowsing Dragon if you'd like. He spits fire if you ignore him for more than fifteen minutes." To prove his point, Collin muttered a disillusionment spell, and his perfectly arched blonde eyebrows disappeared to reveal a set of blonde puff balls, singed at the ends as if by fire.
Ginny immediately spit out her juice and had to laugh around her choking.
"Looks as if the barn let out one of its cows a bit early this morning, isn't that right, Weasley?"
Ginny wiped her mouth off and narrowed her eyes.
You'll be paying for that one later, Draco, her glare said to him. Playing it off nicely though, she told him exactly where he could stick his pompous nose and had him stalking off in a rage not one minute later.
Ron snorted, "Looks like that slime woke up a bit late as well. Never seen him with a ruddy hair out of place, and it look at it now. Quite comical actually-Oy, Gin, pass the eggs."
Ginny shifted nervously and quickly handed over the eggs to him. She caught a glimpse of Draco as he sat down by Crabbe and Goyle and nearly snorted herself at the appearance of his hair, askew in all directions, and his expensive robes wrinkled to perfection. She knew a simple spell would have straightened him out, but he always liked the fact that only the two of them knew why they both looked like hell. This was his way of reminding her.
Ginny gulped down her juice and grabbed a muffin, mumbling a quick goodbye to her friends and brother before racing out of the hall, citing a nasty potions essay that was calling her attention before class.
When she entered the hall, she shoved through the courtyard doors and stepped into the early morning sun. The cobblestone path glittered with dew, and she made her way carefully into the grass so she wouldn't slip.
When Draco's arms snaked around her waist, five columns away from plain sight, she sighed and leaned back into them comfortably.
"Farm animal, eh?" She asked impishly and turned to face his smug smile.
"All for the audience, Gin. I would have used something more grotesque, but having your brother try to pound my brains out this early in the morning would just bloody ruin my day."
Ginny sighed and ran a hand through her tangled hair. "We've got to stop falling asleep up there, Draco. My
roommates are going to start to notice sooner or-"
She'd been cut off as Draco leaned forward and captured her next words with his mouth, devouring them and any
others that would have followed.
When he'd finished with her, he gently broke off, admiring the dazed expression that was now smothered over her face.
"-later." Ginny finished coyly and smacked his arm. "And pinning me to the ground when it's well past midnight saying you'll have nightmares if I don't stay is a bit much, don't you think?"
Draco shrugged. "Perhaps, but it worked, didn't it?"
"I suppose…" Ginny smiled softly and wrapped her arms around him. "Git."
"Weasel."
"Snorer."
"I do not snore!" Draco glared at her defiantly.
"Do too!"
"Do not! You have no proof!"
"Only my nearly ruined ear drums!"
"You're insufferable, Weasley."
"And you love it, Malfoy." Ginny smiled cheekily and began to walk away before she was late for class. Draco grabbed her arm and pulled her against him one last time, and she took a few precious seconds to inhale his musky cologne before he released her. She did not fail to note the urgent way he wrapped his arms around her waist, as if worried that she might disappear if he let go.
"I'll meet you after dinner, alright?" She whispered, slowly disengaging her arms from around his torso, as if to reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere.
Draco nodded, letting the cloud of meager worry dissolve from his eyes, and looked sourly at her tangled auburn curls. "Don't forget to comb out that mop though. It really doesn't suit you that well."
Ginny scoffed at him and hit him across his chest. "You're such a prat!"
"And you love it."
Shaking her head, Ginny sighed and walked off. "Merlin, help me-I actually do."
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Ginny rushed to her History of Magic lesson, praying to Merlin that she wouldn't be late and have to miss an evening with Draco while she was forced to clean up Professor Binns' leftovers from a dinner that he insisted on eating (even though they went straight through his body) during detention.
"Ginny! Ginny! Wait up!" Hermione panted and rushed up to meet the sprinting red head whose much longer legs were a feat to catch up with.
Ginny pulled to a halt right outside of her classroom and waited for Hermione to jog over to her.
Laughing, she offered her arm to take Hermione's heavy text books off her hands so she could get her bearings.
"All right there, Hermione?" She patted the sixth year's shoulder concernedly.
Hermione nodded, gasping and trying to gain her ability to speak. "Perhaps I should think of taking up a sport next semester. I'm way too out of shape to keep up with you these days."
Ginny nodded incredulously, "Of course, Hermione. And risk missing precious hours of study time on weeknights when you have grueling practices that would undoubtedly fatigue you to the point of not even giving a damn about class anymore?"
Hermione blanched. "Right. Guess I'll be eating your dust for a bit longer then, eh?"
Ginny shrugged and laughed, "What was it you wanted to talk about, Herm?"
Hermione's face lost a bit of its good-natured glow, and she bit her lip nervously. "I-I just was wondering if everything's been alright lately. I mean…today was the third morning you were late to breakfast, and no one knows where you're always running off to after lessons. I-we're just worried is all."
Ginny's eyes darkened. "You mean you and Ron were worried?"
Hermione immediately shook her head, "Ginny, Ron would barely give me the time of day right now. I've no idea what's going on with him. I just want to make sure you're alright. For both of our sakes."
Ginny scoffed, "I'm fine thank you, as if it's any of your business."
Hermione's wince made her wish she hadn't been so cold. "I know it's not, Gin. But you've been doing so well lately. It just seems odd that this pattern of behavior has started to arise out of no where…just like it was before-"
"Before what, Hermione?" Ginny challenged her with her gaze, hoping against hope that she wouldn't bring Draco into this. She wasn't ready for that yet.
"Look, Gin. If this has to do with Draco, then I really must insist that you take some time to think about what
you're doing before continuing on with him. Think about your family, Ginny. What would your parents think? What
would-"
"How dare you act as if you're my care taker!" Ginny spat, moving away from the door so they wouldn't
be overheard. "I am fully capable of making my own decisions, and I don't need you telling me what to do. But
since you've so tactfully brought up Draco's name, Hermione, just when were you planning on telling me the
truth about who really caught me that day?"
At that, Hermione's face drained a bit of color, and Ginny smirked at it as if satisfied.
"That's what I thought. But I'll bet you loved your precious Harry being in the spotlight again, didn't you?"
"Ginny!" Hermione looked stricken by her words and felt her eyes spark with moisture. "You don't know what you're saying! We didn't want you to know because we thought it would upset you too much. All anyone wants is for you to be happy."
"Well, if that's what you want then I can give you one quick way to achieve it-Leave me the hell alone!"
"Pardon me, children, but class is about to begin. Will you be staying, Ms. Granger, or will one lesson suffice for the day?" Professor Binn's diaphanous body drifted in the doorway, and Hermione quickly gave a rushed apology before darting in the opposite direction to her own class.
Ginny watched her go with shadowed eyes.
Great. Now I feel like a real jerk… Sighing dejectedly, she decided she'd set aside a few minutes before meeting Draco to apologize to her friend on the condition that she kept her nose in her own business from now on.
Seated next to Luna in the farthest row of seats, Ginny withdrew her materials and pretended to be taking notes as Binns droned on and on about that Ashwash character.
"I take it things are going well between you and the young Mr. Malfoy?"
Ginny dropped her quill and nearly choked on her tongue. "Luna!" She whispered harshly. Luna's face remained transfixed on the front of the room, and Ginny shook her head.
"Can't get a thing past you, can I, Lovegood?"
A small wink from Luna's eye was the only indication that, no, she could not.
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Ginny walked in a haze through the busting bodies that filled the corridors, feeling as if for the first time in weeks, she wasn't just going through the motions of life anymore.
She lifted her fingertips to brush them against her lips, still warm from Draco's heated kisses, and felt a surge of excitement flare through her chest. He'd ducked out from behind a bush on her way back from her Herbology lesson and, needless to say, they'd spent the better part of lunch quenching their hunger for each other's lips rather than food. She smiled secretively to herself and continued towards her common room.
The dense traffic nearly swallowed her as she tried to walk against the grain, and no one noticed when a pale hand reached out from the shadows and yanked her roughly through a doorway, sending a shiver of fear up her spine.
Shadows stirred and the drone of chattering students hummed somewhere behind her, and as her lungs closed up against the trepidation penetrating her body, Ginny felt herself drowning in darkness. As she fought to gain her bearings and gritted her teeth against the claw-like nails that were digging into her arm, she knew she could not have screamed if she tried to.
She merely stared into a pair of ominous, murky eyes that was the only other indication that she was not alone.
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AN: First off, no, Draco and Ginny have not done "the deed" yet. Hopefully I wasn't misleading, but nothing but innocent steamy kisses and all that mush have gone down so far! :-D
Secondly, the wait-Oh…the WAIT. I'm terribly sorry. I promised one week, and then the fates promised me that everything that could possibly go wrong in one's life would go wrong in mine. I'm not going to bore you all with the details, but let's just say that my job has recently taken it upon themselves to fire ten people, thus leaving the five of us remaining to slave away all hours of the day and night to make up for the loss. This leaves little time to write much less do homework, but hopefully, you'll think it was worth the wait! (That wasn't the details, hard as it is to believe)
Anyways, let me know (especially!) if I did Draco and Ginny any justice at all in this chapter. You may notice a bit of OOC in Draco this time, but considering the emotional turmoil he's been going through, I think a bit of vulnerability is to be expected.
Hope to hear from you all soon! Excellent reviews last chapter!
PS: Like my cliffie? ;-) mwuah ha ha ha! (ßI never was good at those Voldie-type laughs)