Chapter Four: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place
Although everyone around him was talking animatedly on the ride back to the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, Harry, sitting next to a window, appeared to be looking out it, and wasn't saying very much at all. In truth, he had his eyes closed and was concentrating very hard on not thinking about anything. It was not a very simple task, given the fact that he knew where they were headed, and the fact that everyone else in the car was discussing the sapping of Malfoy.
As he sat unmoving and unspeaking in the car, a sudden, small realization hit him. He had seen an elven child covered in tree sap while he had been in the village of Vlaine, and Kailyn had told him that it was a common elven practical joke - easily cleaned up with the right magic or tools. Magics... he corrected himself as he thought about everything Fey had told him. The elves didn't look at magic as a singular force, and the more he thought about it, the more he found himself agreeing. As much as he hated to think he was learning outside of school - a trait more commonly found in, say, the person sitting next to him with brown, bushy, curly hair - it was something to keep his mind busy. No one spell is the same, even if cast twice by the same person. A different amount of energy or feeling goes into each spell, making them all unique in their own way. Therefore...
"Harry?"
He opened his eyes slowly, and saw in the slight reflection of the car window that Hermione was looking at him, apparently having withdrawn from the conversation when she noticed how silent he was keeping. "Yeah?"
"Everything alright, Harry?" she asked quietly.
He nodded. "Just a little tired, that's all. It's been a busy few days." He felt better adding the second part to his statement, as that made it not entirely untrue.
"No kidding," she replied in a whisper. "It was crazy on this end, too."
"Later, Hermione..." he pleaded with her without taking his eyes of her reflection. She opened her mouth as though to argue with him, but then closed it again without saying anything. "Thanks."
"You know, Harry, there's talk this year of letting a few younger members into the Order," Ron said when he noticed that Harry appeared not to be sleeping after all. "Reckon they'll let us in?"
"Ronald Weasley!" Molly said from the front of the car harshly. "The Order is not a place for children!"
"But Mum, we're sixteen now!"
"Just you, actually, Ron," Harry pointed out. "My birthday's a few days away still, and Hermione's isn't for more than a month." I expect they'll want me to join anyway... given what I have to end up doing.
"Right then," Arthur said suddenly after a long silence filled the car. "I'll drop you all off at the corner, and then find a place to park and join you later. You can see yourselves in, after all." The car rolled to a sudden stop and the children all climbed out of the car, followed swiftly by Molly Weasley.
"Taking the scenic route, Weasley?"
The group turned collectively to find an older wizard standing on the corner... an older wizard with a wooden leg and wearing a hat slightly crooked, so as to cover his mystical eye - the very eye that gave him his nickname of Mad Eye.
"We were careful, Moody," Molly replied. "But good of you to meet us at the corner anyway. We met up with Harry in Diagon Alley," she added, motioning to Harry.
"Yes," he said dryly. "I can see that."
"Hello Professor," Harry offered.
"Like I said last year, Potter, I never got around to teaching you, so Moody's fine. Or if you insist, then I'd also answer to Mad Eye or Alastor." He then frowned at the group. "Where are you keeping your wands? Not in your back pockets again, I trust?"
"And we still have both buttocks, Mad Eye," Ron said enthusiastically. "So no harm done yet."
"We should get moving," Moody said gruffly and turned. As Harry followed the direction they were facing, the houses with the numbers Eleven and Thirteen pushed out of the way and made room for a doorway with the number Twelve listed above it. The house with the concealing charm... his godfather's old house.
As the group pushed into the door, Harry froze and looked around. Things looked much brighter than they had before... not so much dust or cobwebs, and very few of the angry paintings were still hanging on the walls. The one directly across from the entrance still had its shades drawn, and he decided not to say anything lest he wake the last person he really felt like being cursed by.
Molly made her way into the kitchen as soon as she had done a quick head count, muttering something about preparing a feast. As Ron, Ginny, and Luna had already started towards the living room, Harry felt no reason to pick a different direction, and started after them. Hermione caught him as he started walking in another hug.
"We were really worried, you know," she whispered as she released him.
"So I gathered," he managed, though he was getting a little embarrassed by all the hugs he was getting. "Come on," he added, and followed them.
He stopped as he was about to cross into the living room as a tall, greasy haired wizard paused in the doorway as he was leaving. Snape looked down his long crooked nose at Harry, a small sneer on his lip. "Potter."
"Snape."
"That's Professor Snape to you, Potter," Snape said coldly. "And if classes had already started this year, then I would be taking house points away right now."
"Good thing classes haven't started yet, then," Harry replied in an equally cold voice. As the potions master took a step away, Harry called after him. "See you in class, then."
"I expect you to work harder than you have ever worked for me before, Potter. I tried arguing with Dumbledore, as you should not have been able to receive that O, but as he pointed out so graciously, it was marked by impartial teachers, so I could not complain."
"I'll work as hard as you do, sir."
Snape didn't reply, but practically glided out of the room as Harry turned back to the others. Before he could say anything, though, a soft growling sound caught his ears. He could see that the three had already sat down, but the source of the sound was not in the living room.
As the growling grew louder, he turned quickly and brushed passed Hermione to the stairs and started up them three at a time. She was right behind him, and he knew that the others were starting to follow as well. He threw open the door to the study that he knew Sirius had used, and found the source of the growling.
I thought you might come if you heard me.
"What are you doing here, Rozan?" Harry asked. "And where have you been? I didn't see you at all in Vlaine."
That would be because I was not in Vlaine, the wolf replied. I was travelling a bit. I thought I would come by to make sure you arrived safely, however. Do not forget our lessons.
"This is Rozan, Harry?" Hermione whispered from behind him. He nodded, and she let out a deep breath that she had apparently been holding. "He's beautiful," she added as she stepped towards the time wolf. "I had no idea that they looked so magnificent."
Thank you, Hermione Granger, a voice sounded in her mind, which apparently caught her off guard, because she started at it. Do not be alarmed. Harry told me something about you, that is why I did not feel it wrong to speak with you in this fashion.
"Thanks," she managed through her surprise.
If you truly wish to thank me, please take care of Harry.
"What?" she asked, confused by the request.
If his mind is clouded, or some his emotions run too high, then he is still open to mind magics. If his mind is
kept calmer, then he is perfectly protected. Please help keep him calm.
She nodded briefly before looking to Harry, but he seemed to be having his own conversation with Rozan, as he didn't seem to even notice what she had said at all, or make any indication that he had heard what had been said to her. She turned a bit more as she heard the others come up from behind them, and looked back quickly to Rozan.
He was gone.
"Have you lost it, mate?" Ron asked Harry as he stepped into the room. "What made you take off like that?" Clearly Rozan had disappeared before the other three had a chance to see him.
Harry shook his head at once, though he didn't say anything right away as he looked around the room. It even smelled like his godfather... a mix of wet dog and proud wizard. It was not an unpleasant smell, but it did drag up his memories all over again.
"I think Harry figured this room would be better to talk in, that's all," Hermione said for him when it was obvious that he wasn't about to reply.
"Fewer people who could just listen in," Harry said with a nod when he figured out what Hermione was trying to do for him. He took an unsteady seat on the floor, and Hermione sat down at once next to him. Ron sat across from him, while Ginny and Luna filled the spaces out to finish the small circle. "And I thought you might want to hear the full details, like I already gave to Fred and George."
"What?" Ron and Ginny asked together.
"You're talking bludger."
Harry shook his head. "Actually, I ran into them just before I met up with you guys. Their store seems to be doing really well."
"Yeah, and it drives Mum up the wall," Ron said with a grin.
"She doesn't want to admit that something she was always telling them was a waste of time can make a good job for them, but they are doing exceptionally well," Ginny explained at his blank look.
"Right." Harry took a deep breath and looked to each of his friends in turn. Luna wasn't actually looking at him, but it was obvious that she was listening anyway. "Well, I happened to be in the hallway when the first of the Death Eaters arrived," he explained. "I knew I didn't have time to write an owl, but I could call Hermione to ask her to send help. I figured she'd be the best bet I had, cause she would be able to think of something. Anyway, I stunned a couple of them as they came up the stairs, but I was really badly outnumbered. Seems that Voldemort really wanted them to get me."
At the dark wizard's name, a collective shudder went through his friends, though Hermione didn't react as strongly as the others. "Well, V-Voldemort would be angry with you, Harry," Hermione pointed out to him. She was the only other one of the group who would actually say his name, though it obviously still upset her to do so.
"I reckon so," Harry said with a forced grin. "Anyway, I locked myself in my room to buy myself some time, but they used the Reduction Curse to destroy the door. I thought I was a goner."
"How many were there in the end?" Ron asked.
"I think around ten or twelve," Harry replied. "Well, just as they were about to send a Killing Curse at me, a tall guy in a green cloak appeared and blasted them with some sort of lightning spell. He then told me to pack for school as though nothing had happened. Once I was packed, he took me and we reappeared in the elven city of Vlaine," he explained. "Mind you, I didn't know that right away, as I passed out on the trip. Or so they told me, anyway."
Before anyone else could respond to what he had said, Ron leaned over and punched him hard in the arm. Harry leapt to his feet at once to get away from another attack, and Ron was on his feet as well, but grinning. The others stood up just as Ron pulled Harry into a rough embrace. "Sorry, mate, but I told everyone that I'd give you a black eye for makin us worry," he said as he released him. "But seeing as it wasn't your fault that you left, I figured that was enough."
"Thanks for caring," Harry said sarcastically as he rubbed his arm. Hermione gave him a hug next, a little more endearing than the one Ron had given him - thankfully - and then Ginny did likewise. Luna stood before him next, and bowed a bit to him.
"I do hope the elves treated you well, Harry," she said in her otherworldly voice. "I haven't heard much about them at all..."
"Thanks everyone, but I'm fine. Now, anyway."
"So tell us about the elves, Harry," Hermione prompted, sitting down again. "Was it a big city? Are they a lot like us, or completely different? How long do they live, anyway?"
"Oh, no you don't Hermione," Ron said instantly. "First I want to hear about the guy who saved Harry. Then if you want your little lesson, I'm outta here. I don't feel like learning about elves right now. We're not even in school for crying out loud!"
"Just because we aren't in school doesn't mean we can't learn, Ron. Honestly..."
"I expect you'll find out about him once the school year starts, Ron. He's our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Harry pointed out with a grin.
"Wicked!" Ron said excitedly. "An elven teacher? I've got to send Pig to Fred and George, and tell them what they're missing!" He stood up quickly and practically fell from the room he was trying to move so fast. Luna followed him after a moment, and then Ginny stood, too.
"I've got to write a quick letter, too," she said, not meeting either of their eyes as she left in almost as much of a hurry as Ron had a few seconds earlier.
"I wonder who she's writing to," Harry said, looking to Hermione.
"Probably Dean," she said with a shrug. "They are sort of going out now, remember?"
Harry nodded, remembering how Ron had flipped out over the revelation on the train ride home at the end of last year. The end of last year... it didn't seem to take much to remind Harry of his mistake, and even that simple thought brought all of the memories unbidden.
"Look, Harry, I don't need to know about the elves right now," Hermione said softly, as though afraid that they might be overheard. "But I wanted to talk to you about something alone, quickly. I meant to earlier, but I forgot after that whole Malfoy incident."
"What's on your mind, Hermione?" Harry asked in surprise. He had just stood up to leave, and she stood as well.
"I... I wanted to ask about what you said at the end of each of the phone calls," she said hurriedly. "Because you never let me ask about it over the phone before hanging up, and I was afraid that if I started the next call by asking, you'd just hang up. What are you so sorry about?"
Harry took a deep breath as he turned away from her. His eyes settled on the desk in the corner, and he made his way over to it slowly and sank into the chair there as Hermione stood before him, not giving him much space at all. She expected an answer.
"Dolohov's curse," he whispered, not meeting her eye. "For yelling at you about how wrong you were about Sirius. For not listening to you when I should have." `For not telling you everything.' "For dragging you along on that stupid trip to the Ministry. For - "
"Oh Harry," she said, her voice catching in her throat as she interrupted him. His shoulders sagged, and she knelt before him as she heard a soft sob escape his lips.
"I hurt so many people last year," he whispered to her. "Not only Sirius... but Neville, Luna, Ron, you! All because I refused to listen to you. If only I had..."
"It wasn't your fault, Harry," she said urgently. "Please... we wanted to come with you, remember? We wouldn't have let you leave without us! We came because we wanted to. We wanted to help you however we could. I came even though I knew it was a trap, right? That should say something!"
"Yeah, how stupid I was," Harry replied bitterly. "Not only did I put you all in danger, but Sirius died because of me!"
"But Harry, that wasn't your fault either!" Hermione said, desperate to make him understand. She had wanted Ginny to absolve her of the guilt she had been feeling when she thought Harry had died, so she knew what he needed. "Bellatrix Lestrange killed him, remember?"
"He wouldn't have been there at all if not for me, though, `Mione," he said harshly. After a long pause, he looked up to her. "You wouldn't understand!"
If he was startled by the fact that she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, he didn't show it at all. The act had startled herself, but she didn't say anything until she was standing again, either. "I understand you're hurting, Harry. But this isn't helping you." She stopped at the doorway. "And I want to help you. More than anything else."
Harry stayed in the study for a while longer with his eyes closed as his senses were bombarded by emotions from everything in the room. Everything in the house, really. He remembered how depressed Sirius had been at being forced to stay in the dreary place, and suddenly he felt himself understanding his godfather more than ever before. It was unfortunate that it would do him no good now.
The sound that caught his attention and made him stand up was not a loud one, or a menacing one. It was definitely out of place, though, and he stuck his head out of the study to look up and down the hall. He saw Hermione sitting in a chair at the end of the hall, a book in her lap, and she looked up as he came out.
She closed her book right away and stood as though to say something, but Harry held a finger to his lips to keep her silent. She nodded, understanding, but she looked confused. He was walking very carefully and slowly now towards the top of the stairs, as though any sudden movement would alert the wrong people that he had heard whatever it had been that he had heard.
From the head of the stairs, the two had a clear view into the hallway downstairs, as well as the doorway leading to the kitchen and the main entrance. Standing in the entrance was a tall man dressed in a dark green cloak with his hood up. He was talking to Dumbledore in nearly silent tones, as the two were straining to hear but didn't pick up a single word.
"That's him, Hermione," Harry whispered as the tall elf turned to leave again. "That's the guy who saved me, that's out new teacher. That's the Wanderer."
As he said the elf's title, the being stopped walking suddenly and turned as though considering something. He then looked straight down the hall and up the stairs to both Harry and Hermione, almost as though he had known that he would find them there all along. Harry could see two brown eyes through the shadow of the hood, but nothing else was discernible about him this time, either.
The elf nodded once slowly to them, and then turned and vanished in a heartbeat. There was no loud crack that usually accompanied apparation - he was simply gone.
"Oh, codswallop," Hermione whispered to Harry, making him look to her in surprise. "I wanted to ask him why we didn't have a book for this year..."
"Then might I suggest asking?" a voice said from behind them, causing both teens to jump in surprise and spin around. Harry had his wand out in an instant, and Hermione's was coming forward as they turned.
Sitting in the chair that Hermione had occupied just moments earlier was the elf in the dark green cloak. He was sitting calmly, as though he had been there all along, and had his fingers pressed together. It was then that Harry noticed a couple of other things about him. He was wearing brown leather gloves which covered his hands, but he had a bracelet on his wrist and there was a glint of gold revealed to be hanging from his neck . He assumed that the elf must have had a ring as well, as Fey had been wearing the three pieces of jewellery as well.
"How did you get there?" Hermione asked. In her shock, she had apparently forgotten that she was talking to their new professor, and she flushed almost as soon as the words left her mouth. "Er... I mean..."
The elf waved her apology aside before she even said it as he stood up. The cloak was again hiding almost everything about him. "I believe you would be the witch called Hermione Granger, am I correct?" She managed a slight nod, and he nodded in return. "And I think you were asking about books, right?" Again, she nodded rather than trust her own voice. "Well, there is never any harm in asking a question Miss. Granger, so do not hesitate in my classes, either. As to your textbooks, I thought it would be better to let the class decide on one for you to use, rather than me to demand it."
"You're letting us pick our own textbooks?" Hermione asked breathlessly.
Harry chuckled beside her. "I think you're her new favourite professor, er... Professor."
The elf shook his head. "I am not your teacher yet, Mister Potter, so please do not worry. If you would feel more comfortable using a name, then Talisien will be fine." He seemed to ignore Hermione's gasp of surprise, as he simply continued. "Once school starts again, Professor Talisien, or more simply Professor, will work fine, I believe."
With a simple nod to both of them again, he vanished once more, just as he had earlier. "What is it, Hermione?" Harry asked her the surprise ad worn off. "You gasped at his name," he pointed out at her confused look.
"I've... I've got to check something again, Harry," she said quickly and quietly. "Let the others know where I am, will you?" she asked. "Oh, I hope Tonks is around. She'll take me," she muttered as she practically flew down the stairs into the kitchen.
"Well, I'm glad you made it clear what you were talking about, `Mione," he whispered to the stillness around him. As he stood at the top of the stairs, a sudden weariness overtook him, and he turned to find a room to sleep in. Pushing open the door to the room that he had shared with Ron during the previous summer, he collapsed on one of the beds and was asleep before the portrait of Phineas Nigellus could even say one word to him.
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When Harry next opened his eyes, it was to almost complete darkness all around him. Fumbling in the dark, his hand clasped around his wand and he muttered, "Lumos." The tip of his wand lit up immediately, and he sat up in bed. Someone had obviously found him lying across the bed, as he was now tucked in and his glasses were on the nightstand. He put them on quickly enough and got out of bed slowly.
The scratching of a quill a few rooms down the hall caught his attention as he stepped out of his room. Deciding that no one would complain if he just had a quick look in, he found Lupin sitting at Sirius's old desk in the study writing something on the parchment in front of him.
Harry knocked gently on the open door, and Lupin looked up at once, and his visage softened a little at seeing who was there. "Harry!" he said, a smile on his face. "Good to see you again. Gave us quite the scare, you know, and I was stuck here and couldn't even help look for you." The look on his face told Harry that it must have been a full moon that night.
"Sorry," Harry said, a grin on his own face. "Glad you're feeling better now."
"So am I, Harry. So am I." He then looked back to the parchment on his desk. "I was just writing a reply to a letter I received a few days back. From Gringotts, if you want to see it," he offered, holding out an official looking letter to Harry to look at. He took it, but didn't read it right away. "Sirius asked them to deliver it to me, in case anything ever happened to him."
Harry frowned and looked down at the letter, but his eyes wouldn't focus on the words. "What did he want to tell you?"
Lupin smiled and put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "He said that, in the event of his own death, he wanted me to take over as your godfather," Lupin said with a smile. "Oh, and he gave you this house, too. I daresay you'll need it... you old one looks a little worse for wear."
"So I heard," Harry said, shaking his head as the words didn't really sink in. As soon as they did, though, he snapped to attention. "You?" Harry asked in surprise. "You're my new godfather?"
Lupin looked a bit affronted, and sighed. "Well, I guess if you would rather someone else, we could..."
"No!" Harry said quickly. "No, I think you'll be great, Lupin!" he said with gusto. "No, I meant about the house. He gave me the house?"
"It has to belong to someone, Harry," Lupin said, a look of relief - and maybe a touch of pride - washing over his face in place of the anguish of rejection. "And I couldn't think of anyone more deserving."
Harry snorted. "Yeah, a house full of trouble and mess. Guess that suits me perfectly." He shook his head before Lupin could reply. "I know, I know, everyone's working hard to clean the place up. I guess I'll have to pull some weight tomorrow, too."
Lupin sighed as he looked back to the desk. "I think I'll finish this in the morning," he said as he stood up slowly and then walked to the door. "Don't stay up too late, Harry. You will need your sleep tonight."
"Sure thing, Lupin."
"Remus would be fine, Harry."
"Night... Remus."
"Good night, Harry."
As soon as Harry was sure the werewolf was out of hearing range, he sighed and sat down hard on the ground. He wasn't really aware of the tears in his eyes, nor the ones that were rolling down his cheeks. He wasn't aware of much of anything at all until a lithe hand touched his shoulder, and he fell backwards in surprise as he jerked out of the grip.
When he opened his eyes, he found Luna looking straight down at him, her long blonde hair hanging in his face, tickling his nose. "Are you alright, Harry?" she asked.
Harry sighed and shook his head. "Does the pain ever go away?" he whispered to her.
Luna shrugged. "Not really," she replied. "But it gets better. Once the pain is mostly gone, it latches onto your heart. Then, every once and awhile, your heart pushes the memories forward, and you feel like crying all over again."
"But..."
"I still miss my mother, Harry," Luna said softly to him. "But I don't cry about her very often anymore. If anything, I cry for the people who never had the chance to meet her."
Neither said anything for a few minutes, until Harry sat forward again so they were just sitting across from each other. "I'm a prat, Luna," Harry said suddenly, smacking himself in the forehead. "I asked you about OWL's in the bookstore, and you didn't even take them last year. I'm - "
"I did take them, Harry," Luna interrupted him. "I slipped into the exams and wrote as many as I could. I figured that way, I would be able to join at least one of you three in a few classes," she explained.
"Hang on..." Harry said slowly. "You snuck into the OWL's, and still ended up with nine of them?"
"I've been told that I am a true Ravenclaw," Luna replied with a shrug. She then pulled out a sharp object from her pocket. "I started carrying this around," she explained. "So when people say that in the future, I can make sure they are not far from the truth. I have a ravenclaw, so that's close enough."
"But you're ruddy smart, Luna, if you could pull that off."
She nodded but didn't say anything for a moment. "Are you feeling better now, thanks to our earlier talk?" she asked. "I am getting rather tired, and should get back to bed. I just heard voices... our room is right next to this one, after all."
"Thanks, Luna," Harry whispered as she started to get up. To his surprise, she smiled to him and then leaned a little closer and gave him a gentle hug. Unlike the ones he occasionally received from Hermione, this one seemed more like it came from a little sister than anything. The ones from Hermione felt distinctly different from that, he realized, as he released her slowly. He liked them better.
He looked up at the sound at the door in time to see Hermione turning away quickly and disappearing down the hall. Luna stood after a moment of considering him, and then left the study as well. Harry, still feeling the effects of the long day, decided that a sleep in the study wouldn't really hurt anything. Sleep just had to take him first.
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Hermione shut the door to the room she shared with the youngest Weasley child and Luna quickly and quietly, not wanting anyone to see the tears in her eyes. They had come very suddenly, and she was immensely pleased that there was no sign of Ginny. She knew where Luna was.
She sat down a little roughly at the desk and set her head down on it as the tears came unbidden from her eyes. Through the blur, something that was sitting on the desk caught her attention. A green envelop was sitting there with an odd symbol embossed on the front, and again used as the seal.
"That looks an like the Ancient Rune for fertility..." she whispered to herself as she picked up the letter curiously. Her name was scrawled across one side of it as well in handwriting that simply flowed across the page. She doubted she could make it look as fancy if she tried for hours.
"Don't worry."
She turned the parchment that was the letter over, expecting to see more, but that was the entire note. "Don't worry?" she muttered quietly. "About what? Who sent this?" As expected, no one answered her question. The wheels in her head were spinning quickly, though.
The research she had done in the library told her something about an elf named Talisien from over a thousand years ago. She knew she had recognized the name from somewhere - probably one of Professor Binns's lessons. The Wanderer must have been named after him, for the elven hero Talisien had faded out of the history books shortly after his victory against a very powerful daemon.
However, the seal was the same as the symbol that the hero had used.
"What is Talisien trying to tell me?" she whispered. Thinking of the elf only made her think of Harry again, and she closed her eyes tightly to ward off the flood of emotions that had bombarded her senses.
She had seen Luna hugging Harry... or maybe it had been the other way around. She had always thought that Luna fancied Ron. In fact, thinking back to the past few days when she had been around them, it was obvious to almost everyone - except Ron, of course - that Luna did fancy him.
So why was she hugging Harry? "He spoke to her at the end of last year..." she breathed, her words not loud enough to make any sound. "He mentioned it... she said something that helped push the pain away." She paused for a moment, thinking carefully. "So maybe she heard him yelling at me, about how I couldn't understand, and took it upon herself to try and help. Yes. That would make sense. Luna wouldn't want anyone to suffer..."
`So why was I so upset at seeing the two of them hugging?' she thought. Biting her lower lip, she held her head in her hands. "They keep telling me that I'm the smartest witch to grace Hogwarts in decades... but sometimes I can be so dense!" As she opened her eyes again, a small smile was playing at her lips. "I know why I was jealous... I was jealous!"
She stood quickly from her chair and actually started to pace back and forth as she mulled things over. "I didn't want to see him hugging anyone else. Even when he was with Cho, I didn't think she was good enough for him. Victor was a great guy, but he was missing something, too." She then stopped as the realization sunk into her brain. "Right in front of me for almost two years, and I never figured it out..." She lowered herself onto the corner of her bed and took a deep breath. "I'm falling for one of my best friends."
It was inevitable. She kept telling herself that as she sat there, unmoving, just thinking very hard, and quickly. She was always hanging out with either Ron or Harry. She was a girl... and they were both boys. The way she was always fighting with Ron made the logic that much clearer. Subconsciously, she wanted to be closer to Harry. Not, she told herself fiercely with a touch of disgust in her thoughts, the Boy-Who-Lived, but plain old Harry. The boy she was falling for.
It would also change everything. Best friends can't become boyfriend and girlfriend without things changing. Maybe changing too much, even. And Ron would feel so left out. Hermione sighed. The fact that Harry seemed to look at her the same way he looked at Ron or Ginny didn't help matters. He saw her as a sister.
"It would be best not to say anything at all," she said with more confidence than she felt suddenly. "If I say something, then everything will change. If I keep quiet, then we'll all get along fine still. Nothing will have to change. We'll still be best friends." She then sighed. "I just can't try to hex whoever he falls for next into next week... as much as I might find myself wanting to. There will never be anyone else for me... I'm sure. We've been through far too much together..."
A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, and she stood up quickly, wiping her eyes to hide the evidence that she had been crying. She knew it wasn't Ginny or Luna - both of them would have simply come into the room. She just took a deep breath and found herself wishing - for once - that it was not Harry Potter coming to say hi.
She cursed to herself as she opened the door. "Hi," Harry said almost awkwardly.
"Hi yourself," she returned, a faint smile showing through her demeanour despite herself.
"Look, Hermione, I'm sorry," he said suddenly. "I didn't mean to yell at you earlier. I really didn't. I shouldn't have, either. As you so often reminded me last year, you're on my side, and I shouldn't try to bite your head off at every little thing anyone does."
She froze as he took a step forward and hugged her tightly, pinning her arms to her side so she couldn't return the hug, or escape. "I understand, Harry," she whispered. "I haven't seen death, and Luna has. Did she help any?"
Harry separated himself from her and held her at arms' length, not letting go of her completely just yet. "Yeah," he said, looking a little confused. "But how did you know..."
"I saw you," Hermione admitted, her smile suddenly fading just a bit, though it was obvious that he didn't seem to notice. "I'm glad she could do something. I just wish I could have." He nodded simply, and as he turned to leave, she stopped him with her own arms around him. "Good night," she added when he looked surprise. "I hope you have another dreamless night."
When she started to let go, she suddenly felt Harry's arms around her again, holding her with an intensity that she had barely even dreamed of. It seemed that he was afraid that if he were to let go that she would simply disappear. "You do so much already, `Mione," he whispered into her ear, his breath playing gently on it, making her shiver. "I would be lost without you..."
Then, as quickly as it had started, it was over again, and Harry released her and stepped out of the door. With a
slight smile back to her, he turned and was gone as night started to settle over the house. A moment later, both Ginny
and Luna appeared at the door and came in, and the three started talking about what had happened during the day just
before heading to bed. Hermione was only half paying attention, however, as the rest of her mind was focused on a
certain black haired boy with emerald green eyes.
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Until the sun sets upon a broken world...
The Shadows
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