Today could be ranked as one of the worst days of my life. Considering I lived in a closet for eleven years and was chased by the most heinous wizard known to man for most of my life, that's saying a lot. I am Harry Potter, Auror First Class of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement for the British Ministry of Magic. Damn, that's a mouthful. Now that you know who I am let me tell you why today could be considered one of the worst in my life.
It all started when I woke up late and had to dress while apparating to my office. Times like this make me thank the fates that I am indeed a wizard. A few quick freshening spells and I was good as new. Well maybe not new, but at least I didn't smell like something that crawled out of a waste bin.
I know what you're thinking - being late to work is bad, but how can that constitute it being one of the worst days? Well that was just the beginning. Over the last few months we had been tracking down, well more like it, I had been tracking down a few of the remaining Death Eaters to a small village outside of Nottingham, that's right as in `Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham.' I had tracked these men to a small hovel in the village.
I brought only my best men with me today. I was ready to finally see the last of the Death Eaters be incarcerated and sent to Azkaban. Needless to say, that didn't happen. My oaf of a partner tripped over his own damned foot and alerted the men in the shack to our presence. When I opened the door ready to strike, I heard a distinctive pop of apparition, meaning the last man was able to escape. Oh sodding hell… (that's my clean version of the fouler words that I exclaimed this morning).
I thoroughly chastised my partner. Not a good thing for me to do, because when we returned to the Ministry, I was the one being chastised. I guess I had forgotten to fill all the paperwork out, and due to a small little line of something that I should have signed, we didn't even have the right to be there. Oh double sodding hell…(yep, still the clean version).
After I was finally able to clean up the mess I created in paperwork and red tape. I was finally able to meet my best friends for lunch. Well, one of my best friends at least. I was to meet them at the Leaky Cauldron like we do every Thursday, but for some reason or another Ron backed out. Which honestly was fine with me, since it would just be Hermione and me for once. Hermione… Ok, what was I saying? Oh yes, lunch at the Leaky Cauldron.
I walked in and saw my best friend, roommate, and love of my life in our usual table in the corner. Yes, I just said she was the love of my life. No, she does not realize that. Let me explain lunch and you can see why I know she doesn't realize that. She looked radiant. I have never seen her look so beautiful. I wanted to just wrap myself in her and forget all the hell from this morning. As I sat down, I saw it. The ring. A knife went straight through my heart before we even said hello. The damned git proposed to her. Oh triple sodding hell…(I don't curse around Hermione, so that was actually what I thought at the time).
Hermione had starting seeing the prick… sorry, Rick… about 6 months ago. I never objected to her dating, I know I have dated quite a few times over the past few years. She and I were friends, roommates, nothing more. Well, I wanted it to be more, but have been a chicken about telling her how I feel. How Gryffindor of me, huh?
Back to the tale, Hermione and the pric... oops, Rick work together in the Department of Magical and Historical Archives in the Ministry. He's a bookworm in the worst way. He's not even good looking. He honestly looks like a rat… yeah, kind of like Pettigrew when he was younger; another reason why I can't stand the man. Well, they started dating after he finally got the nerve up to ask her. He ogled her for almost two years before he grew the balls to ask her on a date. I know, hypocritical of me, but what can I say? She deserves so much better than a pimply-faced, pale-skinned, rat-looking cretin like him. She deserves someone who loves her, and cherishes her. Honestly, I think he just uses her as a trophy. She is too beautiful for the likes of him. Arrgghhh…
Well, enough about the pri… all right, Rick. I sat down at the table for lunch with Hermione. When she saw that I seemed a bit preoccupied, her face fell. "Everything all right, Harry?"
I looked at the ring on her left hand. Yeah everything was bloody fine. "I just had a bad morning, Mia." I lied to my best friend. I lied through my perfectly straight non rat-like teeth. I was killing me to see that ring; it wasn't even that impressive. She deserves diamonds three times that size, that sparkle like her eyes do when she is happy. I looked into her eyes that were shining so brilliantly a second before, which now only showed concern.
"I'm all right, lets just eat," I said semi-reassuringly, trying to get that look out of my mind. "You want the usual?" I asked as I perused the menu that I knew like the back of my hand.
"Yeah," she said dejectedly. I think it was dejectedly at least. It was one of those speak through a sigh moments that shows you are giving in and not pushing any issues further.
I went up to the bar to grab a firewhiskey and a butterbeer and to put in our lunch order. While I was up I also took some time to gather my emotions and thoughts. If I kept sitting there, the ring would taunt me then I would have to rip it off her finger and throw it in the fireplace. She would kill me if I did that. I am not usually a jealous person, but when it comes to Hermione, no one, and I mean no one is allowed to get near her. I tried threatening the prick. Yeah, he's a prick plain and simple, I'm not going to sugarcoat it anymore. I told the little bastard that what I did to Voldemort was nothing compared to what I would do to him if he ever hurt my best friend. I scared him enough at that moment I think he wet himself. But… when Hermione found out, I was the center of the worst Hermione-lecture/cursing ever. She hexed me. It's the truth. I couldn't go on a date for three months; she hexed my bits blue. Talk about blue balls… yeah, bad pun. Sorry.
I started back toward the table with our drinks and she was eyeing her left hand and twirling the ring on her finger. Rub it in why don't you? I bit my tongue and let my eyes wander the tavern. I couldn't watch her look longingly at the miniscule diamond on a thin piece of tin. I downed my firewhiskey in one gulp. I needed all the strength I could get to get through the next half hour. We sat in silence for a while before our food came. The awkward silence now filled with the sounds of masticating and slurping. Between bites of her pudding, she finally looked up at me and said the words I dreaded to hear since I saw that bloody ring on her finger.
"Rick asked me to marry him." Her voice was soft and low, like she was afraid to tell me. Why would she be afraid to tell me? I'm not that bad am I?
I tried to mask the pain in my eyes as I looked at her. "What did you tell him?"
She shook her head and looked down at the table. "I told him I had to think about it."
She had to think about it? Maybe she actually could see what Ron and I had been telling her since the beginning of that relationship. I couldn't let myself get my hopes up; she was wearing the ring after all. Before I could say anything else, even though I couldn't think of anything to say at the moment, she started again.
"I'm not sure why I didn't just say yes. I love him, Harry. I know you and Ron don't like him, but he is a good man. He's just very shy and hard to take sometimes. It does seem rather sudden, we have only been dating for 6 months, but why shouldn't I marry him? Its not like I have many men breaking our door down to go out with me." At this point, I wanted to cut her off and protest everything she was saying. She shouldn't marry him just because he's the default choice. She should marry someone that she deserves. I don't dare say `someone like me.' She deserves so much better than even that.
I looked at her, still trying to mask the pain and hurt in my eyes. "Mia, if this is what you want, go for it. Follow your heart; it won't lead you astray. Just know that whatever you choose, I… I'll support you. I just want you to be happy, so does Ron." Where the hell did that come from? But I guess its true. If this is what will make her happy, that's all I want for her. I don't like it, but I'll live with it.
She looked up at me and I could see unshed tears building in her eyes. I fought the urge to take my thumb and wipe them away the second they start to fall. She grasped my hand and smiled a watery smile. "Thank you, Harry."
I tried to smile back. "Why are you thanking me?"
The next words I heard broke my heart into even smaller bits than it was before. "You just made my decision for me." She then stands, drops a few sickles on the table and kisses the top of my head. "I hope your day goes better than it has already. I will see you at home."
Before I could even say goodbye, she was away from me and out the door. My head fell into my hands as I realized that I just let the love of my life go into another man's arms. I couldn't let myself cry. Not there. I dropped the rest of the tab on the table and walked out the door into Muggle London. The Ministry could wait. I needed to think and let myself wallow in self-pity.
So that's what brought me to where I am now. I walked around London for a bit and started to head back toward the house I share with Hermione, and Ron when he's home from touring with the Chudley Cannons. I didn't even owl the office to say I wasn't coming back in. If I lose my job, I lose my job. Screw it. Right now, this day, everything I never had fell apart around me. I'm not talking about the bloody Death Eaters. I'm talking about her. I let her go. I didn't fight. I didn't tell her how I feel. As I walk down the street toward home, the sky above me bursts. Go figure, my worst day, my heart is broken, and it sodding rains.
I don't mind the rain, really, it seems to express my feelings at this very moment. Let it all drown me for all I care. I trudge up the walk to our house. And reach in my pocket for my keys. Then I reach in my other pocket for my keys. Oh fucking sodding hell… (yes, I really just said that). I must have left my keys when I was running late this morning. Dammit! To make matters even worse, I know my wand won't work. Its one of those security precautions we created. The wards around the house of the Savior of the Wizarding World and Auror First Class Harry Potter has to have so many bloody wards set on it to protect my arse from psycho Death Eaters and crazed fans, that a simple unlocking charm will not work. And I can't for the life of me remember all the damned wards Hermione set. That's why I made sure I always had a key, so I could always get in.
So here I sit on our front stoop, in the pouring rain, with my heart broken in two waiting for the one person who I don't think I can handle seeing at the moment. Serves me right for being such a chicken. Just makes my day come to a close perfectly doesn't it?
I let my mind wander to what life would be like without Hermione here. She's going to marry the prick, move in with him, probably birth him a horde of babies… argghhh. This is not helping my demeanor. She deserves so much better than being a brood mare for some imbecile.
I lean up against the pillar on the porch and look at our house. I bought this house to share with my two best friends. I bought it when we finished Hogwarts, a surprise graduation present if you will. I look at the yellow paint on the outside. Hermione picked the color even though Ron and I hated it, but we wouldn't have changed it for the world. Hermione gave the place a bit of a feminine side. Merlin knows what it would look like if it were up to just Ron and I.
That thought reverts me back to why I am so upset, letting the rain wash away any tears that may have escaped. It's hard for me to admit if I cry, I am a man after all. Ron and I in the house all by ourselves, no Hermione; the Trio would be no more. It would now be either two of us, Ron and I; or four of us, Ron, myself, Hermione and the prick.
Why have I been so stupid? Why could I not tell my best friend that I love her? Why did I let her go and walk into the arms of the rat-faced son-of-a-b… no I will just stick with prick. It's short and sweet. Prick. Rick the Prick… hehe, I like that.
My mind wanders to why Hermione should not be with him. Well, rather my mind wanders to why she should be with me. I love her. I have loved her for as long as I can remember. I'm not even sure when it evolved from a friend-type of love to the way my heart sings when she is around. I know her better than I know myself. She has been with me and vice versa for over 10 years now. I love her. I love the way she bites her bottom lip when she'd nervous. I love the way she smiles at Ron and I even when we are being the most childish prats in Britain. I love the way her eyes twinkle when she is happy. I love the way her voice sounds when she wakes up in the morning. I love her. Why can't I just tell her those three little words?
My frustration is getting the best of me as I close my eyes and let the rain pour over my face as I repeatedly bang my head back against the pillar. Bang. Bang. Bang. If only it would make the pain in my heart go away.
"Harry?"
Hermione. I open my eyes and look at the very dry woman standing in front of me. "Harry why are you out here in the rain?"
Wallowing in my self-pity, as if it really matters. "I forgot my keys this morning."
She chuckles as she unlocks the door and I follow her in. "Why didn't you cast a drying charm or at least an umbrella charm, Harry. You are soaked to the bone. How long have you been out there?"
I don't want to answer her. I want to wallow a bit more. It is surreal that she is standing there berating me as she undoes the clasp of my outer robes. I look in her eyes, still not telling her why I never thought of casting either charm. I can't tell her that I needed the rain. I felt like raining myself if I could.
Her eyes raise as she pulls my soaked robe off my shoulders. Her eyes widen and that concerned look is in them again. "Harry, have you been crying? What's wrong?"
All right, my mind has completely lost it. I have to do it. I can't take this any more. My pruny hands come up and cup her cheeks gently as I lean forward and brush my lips across hers. It is heavenly. Her lips are so soft, so warm. I feel her respond and her arms come around my neck, pulling me closer. Why was I so chicken to do this before? I could spend the rest of my life kissing this woman. Then it actually registers in my fogged brain that she is kissing me back. Kissing me with a passion I never expected. I pull back after I lose all ability to breathe.
I take a deep breath, ready to… ready to what? Confess my love? Beg her not to marry Rick? Beg her to marry me? What I am thinking?
A soft voice brings me out of my internal rambling. "Wow…" she whispered.
Wow. She said `wow'. That's a good thing right? What does this mean? I look at her face and she is smiling that beautiful smile at me; the one that melts my heart or at least what's left of it right now. She is marrying another man. I was stupid to kiss her. Why did I do that?
A moment later her hand cups my cheek. "Harry?" I look up at her again, my heart shattering as I anticipate the words about ready to come out of her mouth. "I told him.. no."
Ok, so that was the stupidest thing I could have ever done. Why the hell did I kiss her? When she's going to marry the pri… "You said no?" Sorry, it took a second for my brain to catch up to what she just said.
She nodded. "I told him no and gave him the ring back."
"Why?" That's the only word that can come out - all the others I want to say are wrapped around my tongue and fighting every breath not to escape yet.
"I realized that I couldn't marry someone that I didn't love with all my heart. I loved him, yes, but not like I should to marry him. You didn't fight me today. You wanted me to be happy. But then I realized that I wanted you to be happy too. I could see in your eyes that you weren't. I knew then I couldn't marry him."
My confusion and… I think that's relief, must show on my face, because at that moment she leans up and kisses me softly again. "I couldn't marry him, because my heart belongs to you, Harry."
What? Did she just say what I think she just said? "You… me?" I stumble through the words. Hell, I didn't just stumble over the damned things - I flat out tripped. I can't believe what she just said. I run my hand through my wet hair. I forgot about the rain there for a second. Did she really just say her heart belongs to… me?
She nods. And that beautiful smile is back. "I love you Harry. I have for a long time, I just never thought you could ever love me back." I start to protest but her long dainty fingers stop me. "Today when you didn't fight about Rick proposing. I knew at that moment that you truly cared about me. I could see the hurt in your eyes. I knew you just wanted me to be happy, but it was killing you. I could always read you like a book, Harry." She was right she always knew me better than I knew myself. I could never pull one past her. Well, I did hide my feelings pretty well though, didn't I? Well maybe not…
"I've always known Harry, somewhere deep down, I knew, but my mind could never grasp it. When I saw you at lunch today and how you kept looking at the ring like it was Voldemort's head on a string, I knew for sure. Then you told me to follow my heart. At that moment you made my mind up for me. My heart didn't want Rick. My heart is yours, it always has been."
I can't think of anything to say that won't shatter this beautiful moment. So I do the only thing that comes to mind. I kiss her. I kiss her like I have wanted to kiss her for as long as I can remember. I pull her close to me and feel her warm dry body clinging to my cold wet one. This is where I belong. This was my destiny - not Voldemort, not being an auror - my destiny was her, all along.
I pull away a moment to catch my breath. I look down at her clothes that are now soaked from pressing into mine. The wet doesn't faze her. Her brown eyes are sparkling like I have never seen them. She is a goddess. My goddess. Her face blushes and I realize that I must have thought that out loud.
"Hermione, you are a goddess," I say as I lift her chin so I can look into her eyes once more. "I have been so stupid. I should have told you a long time ago what you mean to me. I love you. You are my world. You are the goddess that brings the sunshine out of the rain." My gaze ventures to the window where the rain has slowed and sun has started to peak through the clouds. "See?"
She smiles at me before kissing me again. Its funny how thinks work out, isn't it? Today started out as a bad day and progressively got worse. When I think all is lost, and the rain has washed it down the drain, the sun comes out and makes everything sparkle anew. My worst day… has now become my best.
-->