Birds and Bees

Oh well, this is the first part of my response to a challenge in the H/Hr forum, you can find it ‘ http://talk.portkey.org/index.php?showtopic=9017&st=0&#entry128741 ’ Sorry for any randomness, but really, it was quite a random idea…and quite fun to write. It shouldn’t be longer than 2 parts but I might be persuaded to stretch it into 3 if I get lots and lots of reviews. Sorry it’s so short, but it was the best place to leave off…

And as for the situation Hermione has found herself in…don’t ask me how she found this out, I’m not sure even I know, the thing is Hermione has found out that Harry isn’t quite educated about the whole ‘birds and bees’ thing and tells Ginny and well…trouble ensues.

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“Well? Have you talked to him about it yet?” Ginny Weasley eagerly questioned her good friend Hermione Granger as she walked out of the castle one lazy Saturday afternoon.

“Talked to who about what?” Hermione answered coolly, looking non-interested in the matter in which Ginny was seemingly so eager about.

“You know perfectly well who—Harry—about well, you know…” Ginny shot back at Hermione, a tinge of frustration on her voice.

“No, I don’t know. What do you want me to talk about with him? Aberforth Dumbledore and goats?” Hermione laughed a bit nervously at her joke, wrinkling her nose at the thought. All the while avoiding Ginny’s original question ardently.

“However amusing that conversation may turn out to be,” Ginny started dryly, “that isn’t what I mean and you know it. Have you talked to him about…for lack of a better way to put it, the birds and the bees or, you know, at least the stork?”

Hermione flinched slightly and then turned a horrible tint of red that rivaled even Ginny’s hair. She seemed to be struggling with words at the present moment, while her friend grinned in a decidedly wicked way as she watched the blush rage across Hermione’s face.

“Well—no, I can’t just talk to him about that kind of thing, Ginny. It would be…uncomfortable. Not to mention entirely inappropriate,” she sniffed at the last part.

Ginny snorted in a rather unladylike fashion and laughed at her friend’s discomfort over the matter that almost every other teenage witch would talk about freely. But not Hermione, she always had to be the prudent one…quite strange for a seventeen year old girl who had two boys for best friends to be this restrained about this sort of topic, but you had to look at who it was, Hermione wasn’t exactly the pervert type.        

“You’re his girlfriend, for Merlin’s sake, Hermione. You can talk to him about this stuff; you can talk to him about anything and not be embarrassed, even before you two finally got it through your thick heads you were supposed to be together. Or has that fact escaped your oh-so-brilliant mind these last few months?” Ginny asked, not even trying to mask the grin that swept across her face when she mentioned this. Hermione and Harry had finally gotten together early on this school year after many awkward moments and sweet exchanges that made them realize their feelings for each other. Though it had taken Ron yelling at them to quit it with the sappy looks and just go snog in some broom closet for them to do it. Eh, who cares about the details anyways?

“Mmmm...” Hermione smiled to herself suddenly, staring out near the lake where the boy in question was sitting underneath a sprawling oak tree overlooking the lake. From the distance you could see his ever-unruly hair sticking out at all ends and his hands idly playing with something, throwing it back and forth lazily between his right and left hands.

Ginny rolled her eyes at her friend and then turned to head in Harry’s direction, intent on asking him exactly what Hermione wouldn’t. Hermione stumbled after her fast pace, trying not to let Ginny get to far ahead of her.

“Harry!” Ginny called out as the two girls came within close vicinity of the seventeen-year-old boy. He looked up and smiled at Ginny, waving, before he flashed one of the special grins at Hermione that he saved only for her. Ginny rolled her eyes and then smiled, pulling Harry’s attention back to her.

“You need something, Ginny?” He asked; confused by the amused smile that Ginny sported.

“No, actually, I just heard this really funny story and I was wondering if you had heard it before…” Ginny raised an eyebrow suggestively, and shot a glance at Hermione, who in turn looked absolutely mortified.

“Umm…well—what’s it about?” Harry asked, confused by the two girl’s very different demeanors.

“Birds and bees,” Ginny said quite seriously.

“Er—no I don’t think I have…want to share it, then?” Poor Harry looked more befuddled by the minute with Ginny’s strange words and Hermione looking like she was going to cry on the spot.

“Oh…well, actually—we have to be going, don’t we, Gin?” Hermione found her voice again and nudged Ginny in the direction of the castle.

“Oh, yeah…I guess so, I’ll tell you some other time,” Ginny answered, looking a bit peeved at being pulled away from such a juicy situation. Hermione started tugging on Ginny’s arm, pulling her away from Harry.

Ginny suddenly turned back to Harry with one last question on her mind.

“Oh, and Harry?” she asked innocently.

“Yes, Ginny?” A rather confused Harry asked; he was slightly perturbed that his girlfriend didn’t seem keen on talking to him at the moment. What had he done this time, he wondered to himself.

“I was just wondering, do believe in the stork?” Ginny asked in the same mock seriousness she had displayed earlier. “You know—the legend of the stork dropping babies on doorsteps and all that?”

“Well, yes…where else would babies come from?” Harry’s eyes widened at the question and he gave a half-smile to Ginny in puzzlement.

Ginny giggled a bit, and shook her head.

“Nowhere special, Harry.” Ginny smiled sweetly at him. “I was just, um, curious to see, because you know…different people, different—uh—theories.”

“Ginny, come on, we have to go now.” Hermione mumbled and gave a hard yank to Ginny’s arm again, adding a sound kick to the back of Ginny’s knee to further her point, all the while fighting down a huge blush that had threatened her complexion again.

“Yes, let’s go, then. See you around, Harry!” Ginny said cheerfully, raising her eyebrows. Once they were out of earshot, Ginny began to giggle a bit, and then eventually broke into sidesplitting laughter at the sight of Hermione’s face. “Oh, ‘Mione, you have to admit, that was priceless. The stork…he still believes in the stork, for Merlin’s sake!” she chortled.

“Oh, Ginny, that was horrible of you…honestly,” Hermione finally choked out. She still looked embarrassed enough to cry as she stood there beside the smaller, redheaded girl who was laughing harder than she probably be in this situation. After a few minutes of letting Ginny have a nice laugh at her boyfriend’s expense, Hermione finally exclaimed, “Oh, shut up, already, Ginny. Now…what are we going to do about this?”

“Well, there’s only one thing we can do,” Ginny said, suddenly serious again. “We’ll have to go to Ron.”

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“Oh, no…I refuse to be part of you two’s sick scheme to educate Harry,” Ron refused before Hermione and Ginny—well, actually, it was just Ginny, Hermione was wincing and groaning the whole time, as if it pained her to think about the whole situation--could even finish explaining. By the time, Ginny had done a bit more talking, amid laughing and eye rolls, Hermione deeply regretted ever presenting the problem to Ginny. Who knew a seventeen year old boy who didn’t know anything about, as Ginny had put it, the birds and the bees, would be so amusing to the girl who used to have such a hopeless crush on him? Honestly, the world that Hermione lived in was so twisted these days.

“Ron,” Hermione finally broke into the conversation. “Please do something about it, you can’t let him be so clueless for the rest of his life. At least do it for me, if not for him.” Hermione pleaded with Ron for the next five minutes in desperation, if he didn’t talk to him, she would have to and she had no idea how to even go around about doing that.

“Fine, but I’m not going to tell him anything he doesn’t know. I’ll just ask him a few…things.” Ron nodded, looking for the entire world like Hermione had just asked him to take a walk through the gauntlet with nothing a thin piece of clothing to protect him from the sharp knives of the enemy.

“Thank you,” Hermione breathed in relief, she wouldn’t have to talk to him about it. Maybe. She just prayed that talking with Ron would work. Her blush from earlier had returned tenfold now that she realized exactly what she had just asked Ron to do and why he was so embarrassed to even talk about with her.

It was just then that Harry walked into the commons with a smile on his face and he headed over to where Hermione, Ron and Ginny sat together in a small, secluded corner.

“Hey, guys.” He smiled at them and sat next to Hermione awkwardly. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, really, just trying to quiz Ron on some Potions facts,” Hermione lied.

“Right, would you say that’s enough for tonight, then, ‘Mione?” Ron asked her.

“Yeah, I think you’ve grasped at least a bit of it, we’ll go over it some more tomorrow.” Hermione gave him an encouraging smile and nodded.

“Right, then…uh, Harry, mate, can we, uh, talk?” Ron forced out, looking quite nervous about the impending conversation. “Alone,” he added, looking pointedly at the two girls who were still sitting there.

Hermione smiled fleetingly before standing and nodding a goodbye before leaving without a word. Ginny followed after her older friend, hiding her cat-ate-the-canary grin and teasing laughter that was bubbling up in her throat again. This was just too priceless. The Boy-Who-Lived not knowing about the birds and the bees…not even a little. Yep, this one was going down in the history books. Who knew that Harry Potter was so clueless?

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reviewing brings good luck upon you….I promise! Hehe :-D if you give me lots of reviews I’ll make it into 3 parts instead of just 2, so really whats coming up next is up to you…I can easily write more, but I have to have inspiration and all….