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My Life Through Your Eyes, The Journal by Harmony_Forever
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My Life Through Your Eyes, The Journal

Harmony_Forever

"DUDLEY!" Harry didn't know if he was relieved or furious. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Hermione's backpack still sat on his sleeping bag, but it was no longer closed. Hermione's personal things were spread all over the inside of the tent. All sorts of books (Harry's heart gave a jolt as he noticed Theory of Numerology among them) were hastily tossed to one corner of the tent along with ink, quills, pens, parchment, paper and some S.P.E.W badges.

"N,nothing.. I was… I was just,"

"Snooping through my friends backpack!" Harry yelled giving Dudley a shove.

"Your girlfriends backpack." Dudley smirked.

Harry's cheeks felt warm. Somehow, he didn't mind Hermione being called his girlfriend. He liked the idea and the sound of it. It didn't seem to matter to Harry that Dudley had just rummaged through Hermione's things or that he, Harry would most likely get an earful from Hermione as soon as she found out that her neatly organized bag had been flipped inside out. Dudley's comment about Hermione being his girlfriend released the tension from his face and turned him soft.

"Just go Dud."

"Huh?"

"Go and watch some TV or something." Harry said pointing to the entrance.

"There's something wrong with you." Dudley frowned and left quickly pushing Harry out of his way.

Harry got down on his knees and started to pick Hermione's things up and organizing them in a way he thought Hermione might have organized herself. He was surprised to find that Hermione actually had a mirror, brush and lip gloss in her bag. He loved her natural beauty and he couldn't imagine how stunning she would look if she ever decided to impress someone. Harry picked up a Galleon and grinned. He knew immediately that this was the enchanted Galleon, which was used for their DA meetings in their fifth year. She had kept hers and so had Harry. He knew Hermione was brilliant, but he was extremely impressed with how well she managed to effortlessly perform such difficult spells at her age.

Harry crawled over to another corner of the tent and started picking up many letters, most of them seemed to be from Harry and some of them dated as far back as their first summer apart from one another. Harry also kept all the letters he had received from people who were very close to him and stored them under a loose floorboard in his room at the Dursley's house. On days when he felt lonely and cut off from the wizarding world, he would take the letters out and read through them one by one. There were certain letters that Harry couldn't and hadn't touched for a long time because of the bone breaking pain it brought back. These untouched letters were the ones from Sirius.

The summer before Harry's sixth year had been the most difficult and worst summer of his life. He found himself dwelling on the past, blaming himself for Sirius's death and blocking out the world around him. He had received many letters from a concerned Hemrione and a confused Ron. Harry didn't want to talk or write about it, so he completely ignored their continuous letters and never bothered to write anything in reply. He had been a real git and a big prat to the both of them. In the end, they both showed Harry how much he meant to them when they forgave him immediately after Harry had apologized. Although Ron had helped, it was Hermione who shook him out of his depression and made Harry move on.

Harry wondered if he should go down to breakfast. He hadn't eaten anything for three days straight and hadn't bothered to change his clothes either. He just lay in bed in his plaid pajama pants, staring at the ceiling above and wished he hadn't been born.

The sound of a doorbell pierced through the quiet and Harry thought the Dursley's invited Aunt Marge to make his life more miserable.

Harry heard the door creek open.

"Good morning Mr. And Mrs. Dursley. I'm Lola Burks, an assistant at the rehabilitation ward at St. Mungo's hospital. Harry's had quite a number of accidents over the past years, and I'm just coming by to make sure he's doing well."

"He's upstairs Miss Burks, do make it quick, we're about to have breakfast." Petunia spat.

"I'll just take some breakfast to him and then we don't have to worry about taking too much time."

Vernon mumbled something under his breath and minutes later Harry heard Miss Burks coming up the stairs.

Why am I having someone sent to check up on me from St. Mungo's?

There was a light tap on the door and Miss Burk's didn't wait for a reply as the door slid open.

Two large sparkling round eyes made contact with Harry's tired green ones. Hermione Granger stood at the entrance to Harry's room with square spectacles placed on her nose and her bushy hair tied back in a neat ponytail. She was wearing black pants, a pearl sweater and what looked like a long, white lab coat with pens in the left pocket and a clipboard in the opposite hand. Harry opened and closed his mouth several times before Hermione put a finger to her lips. She closed the door behind her, poured a yellow liquid on the door handle and looked at Harry's confused face.

"Its works like a silencing charm."

"W,what are you doing here?"

"What do you think I'm doing? Being your best friend. I know you need someone to talk to." She answered softly bringing a tray of food to Harry's side.

"What makes you think I want to talk?"

"Oh, I know you don't want to talk. But what you need and what you want are two very different things."

Harry took a sandwich from the tray and nibbled at it.

"So?" She asked sitting on the bed beside Harry and looking at her hands.

" I don't know why you came here Hermione, you're wasting your time."

"Come on Harry, it'll do you some good to share some of your feelings."

"How the hell do you know what's good for me huh? You think you're a bloody know it all… but you have no idea Hermione, no idea what I've been going through!"

"Calm down Harry. That's why I'm here, I don't have any idea what you're going through and I want you to tell me. Oh and Harry… I won't leave until you do."

"I'll guess you'll stay here forever then."

"Okay. It seems to be what your doing and you might as well have me for company." She frowned and folded her arms against her chest.

"Just leave Hermione."

"No."

An awkward silence filled the room.

"You know, this room would look really nice with a new coat of paint."

"You really don't look bad with glasses on."

"Huh? … Oh, these," she laughed taking them off. "I thought it would be a good idea to pretend that I'm from St. Mungo's and doing a check up on you. It might scare them a little and they might take better care of you."

"Highly unlikely." Harry muttered.

"How are you feeling?"

"No Hermione, I'm not getting into this."

"Please."

Harry looked into those teary Cinnamon eyes. The dancing happiness that normally filled them seemed to have vanished and they looked cold and hurt. Harry's heart sank, he couldn't feel more terrible then he did at that moment. He just couldn't bear that it was he that made that glitter disappear.

"I'm sorry Hermione."

"Its all right Harry, you've been through a lot. But it really is time for you to open up to someone about what you're going through. If you tell me now that you would much rather talk to Ron about this, I'll leave you alone and no, I wont be angry with you."

"Hermione… I want to talk to you."

She blushed and smiled at Harry, the glitter returning to her almond eyes.

" Its all my fault Hermione. Sirius is gone… because of me."

"Harry, don't you dare blame yourself for what happened, it was no ones fault!"

"He died because of my stupidity."

" You did what you thought was right. Your heart was in the right place Harry." She placed her hand on Harry's shoulder.

"I put so many people in danger… I put you in danger and I thought I lost you. It scared me Hermione, it scared me so much."

"We put ourselves in danger. We didn't have to listen to you Harry. Your not responsible of taking care of me you know, I'm a big girl and can make decisions on my own. I choose to stay by you Harry, I couldn't just stand back and watch you do this all on your own. You mean so much to me."

Harry wished he could let Hermione know just what those words did to him. He felt his soul floating back to him. He needed to pull himself out of this state and he would do it all for Hermione.

"I'm going to be okay now Hermione."

He pulled her close to him and held her tightly in his arms. He loved how she just fit so perfectly in his arms.

"Are you sure?" She placed her head on his bare chest and listened to his heartbeat.

"Yes, thank you Hermione." He kissed her forehead.