Unofficial Portkey Archive

Lol okay ... this fic is just a random fic that I started writing when I was at a hotel a month ago, and I only finished it last night *facepalm* Sad I know.

This is almost slightly AU, just because the characters are so unlike themselves. Harry is a goon, Ron is normal, and Hermione is a popular sexy person Lmao.

Disclaimer: The things your recognize are JKRs, not mine.

All You Had to do Was Ask

"...Harry? Harry! Come back to earth man!" Ron yelled in his ear, snapping his fingers in front of Harry's face. Still nothing. Ron sighed.

SMACK.

"Ow!" Harry exclaimed, scowling at his best friend, "What the bloody hell was that for?" Ron sat back and crossed his arms over the front of his chest.

"Oh I don't know. Maybe it's just the fact that I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes!" Harry stared at him blankly.

"You Have?" he questioned in obvious awe.

"No, I was trying to get the other Harry's attention," Ron retorted.

"Oh, okay," Harry said distantly, turning his gaze back to the other side of the room. Ron rolled his eyes. He was staring at her, again. It had become Harry's favorite hobby; one could go as far as calling it an obsession. Sometimes Ron had to slap Harry on the back, reminding him to breathe. It was rather annoying, actually.

"Oh bloody hell Harry, just go over there and ask her out!" Ron exclaimed, incredibly frustrated. Harry swirled to face Ron, glaring at him.

"You know that is preposterous. I could never do that ..." he trailed off. Ron shook his head and looked over at her. She was in the midst of a group of giggling girls. She laughed and flipped her hair behind her shoulders, completely oblivious to the two watching her. Ron could see what he saw in her; he saw it once himself. But that had all changed now. Ron was perfectly happy with the girl of his dreams, Luna Lovegood. Luna was everything Ron could want, and then some; smart, pretty, funny, easy going ... and those were only a few of the things he loved about her. Ron smiled at the thought. He looked back over to Harry. His best friend had found the girl of his dreams too, he just didn't know it. Harry had that dreamy look in his eyes and a stupid smile on his face that would make anyone want to throw up. Ron looked back to the group of girls. They were all packing up their books, getting ready to go to their next class. Hermione shoved a book in her bag, and then dug around in one of the pockets. She pulled her hand back out, grasping a lip gloss. How did he know what lip gloss was? Let's just say he has had a few ... encounters with it before. Hermione removed the cap and applied the smooth, fruity substance to her lips. She grinned and placed it back in her bag. Harry muttered something that sounded a lot like, "I have to get that." Just then Hermione looked in their direction. Ron was slammed into and pushed off his seat.

"Oy! What are you playin' at?" Ron scowled, rubbing his leg. Harry looked at him apologetically.

"Sorry mate, but she-" Ron held up his hand to stop Harry from continuing.

"Don't, I already know." Ron sighed. "In your hurried attempt to make it look like you weren't drooling over her, you managed to knock me off my chair, FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!" Ron exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "Honestly mate, my a.ss is starting to bruise."

"Sorry mate, maybe you should stop sitting next to me," Harry said, grinning sheepishly.

"Maybe you should ask her out," Ron muttered under his breath.

"What?" Harry asked, looking at him.

"I said maybe you should help me up!" Ron said, grinning and holding his hand up. Harry chuckled and nodded, grabbing Ron's outstretched hand and pulling him up. Ron looked back to Hermione as he brushed himself off. She was coming their way.

"Hey guys," Hermione said cheerfully, coming to a stop next to Harry and Ron. Harry was fumbling with something in his bag, so Ron replied.

"Hey Hermione," he said, smiling at her.

"Are you guys ready to go? Defense Against the Dark Arts starts soon," she informed them matter-of-factly.

"Yep, just have to grab my things," Ron said, picking up his books and shoving them lazily in to his bag. Harry was still digging around in his bag, so Ron nudged him. Harry jumped; a startled look on his face. "What?" he scowled.

"Are you ready to go, mate?" Ron asked, eyeing his best friend carefully. Harry looked confused for a moment, and then his cheeks turned a deep shade of crimson.

"Oh! Oh yeah, yeah. Let's go," he said, picking up his bag. They walked to their next class together. They filed in to the room and took their usual seats at the front of the room.

"Everyone take your seats," a voice from the back of the room said. Everyone turned around to face their teacher and Ron grinned

"Please take your wands out everyone," Bill Weasley said, "we're practicing stunning spells today." There was a murmur throughout the room, and Ron was just about to open his mouth when Bill continued.

"I know you all know stunning spells. But the ones you know are very small and minor. What I am about to teach you will have your opponent knocked out for hours, if done appropriately." Ron looked at Harry and raised his eyebrows, and Harry responded by grinning mischievously.

"The curse of course," Bill paused, looking around, "is the Imobilatus MaximusCurse." Bill finished, along with Harry and Ron under their breath. Everyone who was in the D.A. the previous year already knew the curse, so basically most of the class.

After an hour of the trio and Neville being bored out of their minds, stunning a rat then muttering the counter curse numerous times, Harry became a little too entranced in Hermione and her application of lip gloss. In mid chant, he looked up and saw Hermione putting on more of the wonderfully fruity substance. He missed the rat and hit Hermione's hand, causing her to drop the lip gloss, not being able to move her fingers. She looked at her hand, horrified.

"Oh my gosh, Hermione! I am so sorry!" Harry exclaimed, cheeks positively red. She was sent to the hospital wing, escorted by Neville, whose pinkie was hit in the act. After the two left, Ron turned to Harry.

"You twit," Ron smirked. Harry looked up at him and glared.

"Shut up. I did get something good out of this though," Harry said excitedly.

"Oh? And what might that be?" Ron raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Oh, nothing..." Harry grinned, the dreamy look glazing over his eyes. Ron looked at him curiously, but just then the bell rang signaling the end of class. The two gathered up their things and made their way back to the Gryffindor Tower. Once in the common room, they plopped down in their usual chairs, Harry positively beaming. Ron eyed him suspiciously.

"Okay, mind telling me what you are so happy about?" Harry looked around the room to make sure the coast was clear, which made Ron even more curious.

"I found," Harry began, digging in his pocket, "this!" He pulled his hand out of his pocket and held his palm out. Lying in his hand was a small tube of lip gloss. Ron looked at his best friend, one eyebrow cocked.

"Mate, listen to me closely. YOU ARE A NUTTER!" Ron said, smacking Harry on the side of the head.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" Harry said, scowling. Ron just laughed.

"Okay, so now inform me; why is this lip gloss so important?" Harry gasped.

"Oh no no my friend, this is not just any lip gloss, it isthe lip gloss," Harry replied, the dreamy look coming over him again. Ron looked at him like he was positively insane.

"Mate, you need some serious help." Harry scowled again.

"I do not. I can finally find out what this stuff tastes like..." A look of horror glimpsed his expression, but was quickly replaced with evident eagerness. Harry glanced around again, and then unscrewed the cap. As Harry was applying the lip gloss, Ron looked up to see Hermione, Parvati, and Lavender entering the common room. Ron smirked as they walked over to them, approaching Harry from behind. Ron looked back to Harry, who was beaming.

"What?" Harry grinned wider.

"Strawberry!" he said excitedly, almost like a little kid over a piece of candy. Ron stared at him incredulously.

"You couldn't have read it off the wrapper?" Harry opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted as Hermione came walking around the couch, looking absolutely amused.

"You know Harry," Hermione said as she bent down to him, "You didn't have to deliberately jinx me to get the lip gloss." She plucked the small tube from his fingers. He just stared at her, jaw hanging. Ron cleared his throat in attempt to snap his friend out of it. Harry snapped his gaze to Ron, who eyed him, raising his eyebrows to Hermione. Harry nodded and looked back to Hermione, who was now applying the substance to her own lips.

"J-jinx? Her-Hermione tha--that was an acc-acciden---oh god," Harry stammered. Hermione rubbed her lips together, and then leaned back over Harry.

"You know, Harry," she said in a quiet, seductive tone, "if you wanted to know what it tasted like, all you had to do was ask." With that, she closed the distance between the two, and Ron smirked. His best friends finally did it. Maybe Harry would shut up once in awhile now. They pulled apart.

"By the way, it's watermelon," she said, grinning. Ron got up and left the common room, chuckling at Harry's beaming face.

"I wonder if Luna has watermelon..." Ron wondered out loud, going off in search of his own means of lip moisturizer.