A/N: Ok, if you want to feel a bigger impact, I suggest listening to these two songs in exactly this order: First '* * *', at approximately the 11th paragraph following, play Queen's 'Who Wants to Live Forever', then at the second '* * *' play Enya's 'May It Be'... The first can be found on 'It's a Kind of Magic, or Queen's Greatest Hits' the second can be found on The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack. I hope I don't chase anyone away with this chapter, I really hope I don't... This and last weren't the easiest for me to write (emotionally) due to some first-hand experience... (Friend and my mom's fiancee). On with the chapter...
Harry followed behind Dumbledore slowly, not really paying any attention to his surroundings or even in the slightest bit concerned about where he was going. His mind was back in that room with the woman he was in love with, back in the room where his friend had made a selfless decision that had saved his daughter, back to the room where his life both began and ended.
"Harry," Dumbledore said quietly, causing the young Auror to leave the self-imposed prison of his mind.
He looked around, recognizing another part of the wizarding hospital where his division interrogated dangerous criminals after they'd been injured in a chase. Harry's eyes immediately settled upon the tall, dark-skinned figure of Kingsley Shacklebolt. He could never read the man's expression, even when he was happy and Harry's confused stare prompted the man to speak.
"You've captured Malfoy," his baritone voice announced, breaking the near deafening silence. "Our intelligence shows that we've captured or killed every one of the new Death Eaters... plus one."
"Plus one?" Harry echoed back, still in a bewildered daze.
Kingsley didn't say anything. Instead, he stepped up to a bare stretch of wall and muttered a charm that made the wall become transparent. Those inside the room couldn't see out-they saw a bare stretch of wall-but those on the outside, however, could see in.
A tall man in black robes was nervously pacing the otherwise empty room. There weren't any chairs, beds, or anything else that might provide comfort. Just bare, stone walls and floor.
He kept walking back and forth, seemingly avoiding the transparent wall. Every few seconds, he would fidget, rub his hands together vigorously as if there was something sticky on them, then return to his previous state of pacing the room. He never stood in one place for too long and, from time to time, would scratch or rub at the wall as if there was a smudge that needed to be cleaned.
"Who's this?" Harry asked dumbly, his interest waning rapidly.
"The one who cursed Tonks," Dumbledore said quietly.
Harry immediately went rigid, his hands balled into fists and a boiling anger rose from the pit of his stomach faster than a wildfire through dry brush.
"Calm down, potter," Kingsley said sternly. "We're going to interrogate him, not kill him."
Harry glared at the tall man but brought himself under control. "Why do you need me here to-" Harry's jaw dropped in mid sentence when the man in the room turned around. The unmistakable large nose, freckles, and tuft of red hair that poked from under his hood told Harry everything he needed to know. "Let's get this over with," he said evenly. Harry was going to find out what happened to his ex-best friend even if it killed them both, and Harry was hoping it was Ron that wouldn't make it out of that room.
"Keep yourself in check, Harry," Shacklebolt warned. "We need you for your Occlumency skills, Malfoy killed MacMillan in Diagon Alley and you're the only other one besides Dumbledore who can do this."
Harry nodded curtly and followed the other two into the room.
Like a frightened animal, Ronald Weasley scurried back into the corner of the room with a terrified look on his face. That look, however, didn't last long after he saw Harry. Rage and malice consumed him then and had it not been for Dumbledore's use of binding rope, Ron would have lunged at him.
"Ron, we're going to ask questions and you're going to answer them," Kingsley said in a commanding voice. "If you refuse, we are authorized to use Veritaserum."
"I'm not saying anything with Potter here!" Ron growled menacingly.
"He's staying," Dumbledore said serenely. "Now please answer our questions-"
"I don't have to answer anything!" Ron barked with a laugh that chilled Harry's bones. "My father is the Minister of Magic!"
"Your father knows you're here, Ron," Kingsley said calmly and produced a rolled parchment from his robes. "We have his signature to use whatever means necessary to determine your role in this attack... He's been far too lenient with you as it is." Kingsley unrolled the parchment and held it in front of Ron to read. In minutes fresh ink, at the bottom of the paper, was Arthur Weasley's name in all its glory.
Ron paled at the contents on the page which Harry surmised were the orders to use Veritaserum should the need arise. Harry hoped beyond hope that Ron would resist.
"As long as he's here, I'm not talking!" Ron growled again with a menacing nod towards Harry. He then clamped his mouth shut, pressing his lips into a thin, white line.
Kingsley sighed and looked to Dumbledore, who nodded slightly.
"STUPEFY!" Kingsley said, sending Ron into unconsciousness. Albus stepped up to the young Weasley, retrieved a small vial from his robes, and, after tipping back his head, let three drops of clear liquid fall into his mouth.
"ENNERVATE!" he said, pointing his wand at Ron's body. The same reaction Harry had seen when Barty Crouch Jr. had the truth serum applied manifested within Ron. He looked straight ahead with glassy eyes and a blank expression covered his face.
"Ronald, can you hear me?" Dumbledore asked in a serene voice.
"Yes," Ron droned.
"Why were you attacking Diagon Alley?"
"I wasn't," Ron stated flatly.
Harry looked at the other two in confusion, the same expression reflected from their faces.
"Why were you there?" Kingsley asked.
"To truly make Hermione my own," Ron droned.
"WHAT?!" Harry barked in disbelief. "Hermione doesn't want to see you, what made you think she'd go back to you?!"
"The soul-binding curse," Ron stated matter-of-factly.
Dumbledore's face went white at the proclamation. "Where did you learn that curse?"
"Malfoy taught it to me," Ron said without hesitation.
"What happened to you in sixth year at Hogwarts?" Harry asked eagerly, not noticing the grim expression on his old headmaster's face.
"The brains from the Department of Mysteries... did... something... to me..." Ron said. It was clear he didn't know exactly what happened either but he attributed it to the brains.
"Who were the girls you beat before you attacked Hermione?" Harry pushed.
"Cho Chang, Marietta Edgecombe," Ron started in the same zombie-like tone. Harry opened his mouth to ask something else but Ron continued talking. "Hannah Abbot, two Americans-I didn't catch their names, Lavender Brown, Parvati and Padma Patil... I couldn't wake Parvati up-"
Harry's anger got the best of him as his balled fist exploded against Ron's jaw, sending him sprawling across the room. Amazingly, Ron continued to mumble-though his jaw was now dislocated-and continued listing more and more names.
"YOU BLOODY BASTARD!" Harry roared as he stalked towards Ron's prone form but he stopped and stared in disbelief at Ron's next words.
"Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger... Hermione, the memory charms worked, didn't they, Love?" he mumbled incoherently. "You'll never know what I did... Potter will never have children with you after that..."
Blind rage took over Harry at this point and he lunged for the babbling redhead on the floor. He was stopped mid leap by a well-timed levitation spell and suddenly knocked unconscious.
Harry woke with a start, flailing his arms as if he were still fighting for his life. The lights in the room were dimmed and he was sitting in a very comfortable chair reminiscent of the ones that Dumbledore had conjured at the Ministry of Magic so many years ago.
"Are you calm enough to hear what happened after your attack on Mr. Weasley?" Dumbledore's voice echoed from the shadows.
At the mention of Ron's name everything he'd said in the interrogation room flooded back into his mind. "Where is the ruddy bastard?!" Harry growled angrily. "I'm going to wring the life from his useless hide!"
"You will do no such thing, Harry," Dumbledore quipped sadly. "Where he's going will be far worse than death..."
Harry looked at the wizened wizard with his now accustomed vision. "Azkaban?" Harry asked gratingly.
"For life," Albus replied in a tired voice. "The spell he used is a derivation of the killing curse when used on someone it's not harmonized to," he explained. "We found a bag of Miss Granger's hair clippings on Ron when we brought him in for treatment and questioning. The soul-binding spell would have removed her free will and left her a zombie to everyone but the caster."
Panic rose in Harry's throat. "And he hit Tonks..." he whispered hoarsely.
"Normally the curse would have killed the caster as well since Tonks wasn't the intended target. He botched one of the components, which one? I am uncertain. Because of this, he will live while Tonks will slowly die... The use of the spell is banned and labeled an unforgivable because it uses a combination of the killing curse and imperius. Soul-binding merges the souls of the caster and the target, unless the target is unintended in which case they normally both die."
"But in Ron's incompetence, he hit Tonks instead and while he LIVES TONKS DIES?!" Harry said evenly ending in a bellowing rage.
"Who cast the enervation charms on her after she was hit?" Dumbledore asked calmly.
Harry looked at him, forcing the red rage from his vision by closing his eyes and concentrating. "I-I did," he said.
"You saved the life of your unborn child," Albus said with the tone of a proud grandfather. "When the baby was transferred, the drain on Tonks lessened... Go to her and we'll talk more afterwards..."
Harry didn't need to be told twice. As soon as the command was given, he ran straight for the room and opened the door gently. Tonks was still in her bed, gasping harshly and most of the color gone from her face. Hermione was still unconscious in the next bed over.
"H-Harry?" Tonks' raspy voice sounded weak but the booming silence in the room amplified it a thousand fold.
"I'm here, Love," Harry said compassionately as he crossed the room to her side once again. "I'm here always..."
Tonks' hand patted the bed feebly, searching for his. On instinct, he took her hand and gently laced his fingers with hers. Her skin was ice cold and felt strange in his tender grip. Harry's heart shattered when he looked into her eyes to find that even though she was dying, the twinkles in her eyes had somehow increased since he'd last looked into them.
"It feels strange without Erin..." she wheezed. "I... I miss her, Love..."
"I know," Harry choked as his tears ran freely down his cheeks. "She's going to miss her mum..."
"Harry... don't," she said firmly. "Don't dwell on this... live..."
"I don't know if I can..." Harry said through his tears. "We've been there for each other for so long..."
Tonks smiled serenely, a strange smile that Harry seemed to dread. She tugged weakly on his hand and, understanding what she wanted, Harry bent and kissed her tenderly. When he pulled away, tears were raining down her cheeks. Tonks was gazing back at him with such love in her beautiful hazel eyes that Harry couldn't control the anguished sob that suddenly escaped his lips. "Go to Hermione... I'll always love you... Har... ry..." she said as her eyes closed for the last time.
He looked down at her limp hand and watched as her last breath rattled from her lungs with those final words still ringing in his ears. Unable to hold back his grief, he sat on the bed and gently cradled her limp body to him. He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder as he began to rock Tonks' body slowly and he whispered, "no," over and over again.
The last thing anyone would have suspected on a bright, sunny Christmas day was to be standing in the middle of a graveyard listening to words that nobody should hear at such a joyous time of the year.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust..."
Harry's tear-clouded vision kept him from truly witnessing the wizarding cremation ceremony as Tonks' elegant coffin was engulfed in a bonfire of violently pink flames. Tearful laughter then cries of grief filled the air when everyone present witnessed their friend's favorite hair color rise into the air.
Harry's knees had given out and he sat in one of the chairs provided for the mourners as Molly Weasley enveloped him in a tight, maternal hug. She like many, if not all, of the attendees was crying freely. When Molly had been told about Harry's relationship with Tonks, the woman wept for him for hours. Ginny was there as well, sharing in the hug and the anguished tears. Those Weasley males that were present were standing close by, holding their wives or girlfriends as well as providing support for Harry in his time of need.
Hermione, however, seemed to be taking things far worse. She wept for Harry and for herself. She'd lost two good friends that day and Harry's depression seemed to be drawing him away from her as well. It was obvious that she was still working through the hormone acceleration potions she needed after the transfer of Tonks' baby, and the added chemistry made it hard for her to keep her emotions in check.
"AUROR'S AT THE READY!" Kingsley Shacklebolt boomed into the chilled morning air. "AIM!" Twenty-one Aurors lifted their wands to the sky in military salute. "FIRE!" At Kingsley's command, balls of multicolored light shot into the air and with a deafening bang, exploded into showers of sparks. "FIRE!" Harry flinched at each explosion and he could feel the others around him doing the same. "FIRE!" Everyone present had been in the war, but the sound echoing around them was not an indication of a life-or-death situation. "FIRE!" Each of these explosions was a tribute to a fallen comrade, a fallen friend... a lost love. "COMPANY! SA-LUTE!"
Bagpipes began playing their familiar, grinding melody as Tonks' ashes were magically placed within an exquisite urn. It too sported violent pinks and other clashing colors in memory of the wild-spirited woman's fashion statements while she'd lived. The bagpipes soon died away on a single, gasping, haunting note and Harry looked up with watery eyes.
"Tonks leaves behind a loving fiancée and an unborn child," Dumbledore said as his voice caught in his throat. "She was brave to a fault and died after saving one of her friends in the thick of battle. Tonks was a happy soul in life, and if I may say so, I think she's looking down upon everyone here, happy that she was so... loved... by so many..." the old wizard paused to collect himself as he reached for the colorful urn. He lifted it gently, as if retrieving an infant, and approached Harry in a slow, measured walk indicative of a ritual that was steeped in tradition. With steady hands, Dumbledore presented Tonks' urn to the stricken young man and offered him a soft smile.
Harry reached for her remains with trembling hands and took the ceramic container gently into his embrace.
"Wherever she is, Harry," Dumbledore said with more compassion than Harry had ever heard from the old man, "she's watching over you with love..."
"Thank you," Harry choked, not looking up or away from the scorched earth where Tonks' headstone would reside.
"Harry, these were Tonks' badge, wand, and communication crystal," Kingsley said next, stepping in front of the grieving man. "The Ministry of Magic and the Auror Division present you these as a token of our respect for you and for Tonks."
Harry took the items with a slight nod and held them in his free hand.
"Please, join us at the Three Broomsticks to wish Tonks a safe journey in her new life..." Dumbledore said to the gathering. With Arthur and Molly's help, Harry got to his feet and they walked slowly with everyone to the wizarding pub.
Witches and wizards laughed as they told stories about Tonks' legendary clumsiness. Even more tales were fond memories of when she'd cheer them up with a pig's snout or by changing the color of her hair to something unnatural.
Harry smiled with everyone else as the stories were told, but his eyes kept wandering to their booth and tears would start to flow again. He looked over to Hermione, who was talking quietly with Ginny. She looked up and gave a sympathetic smile. Harry stood then, and walked over to her. "Can we talk?" he asked timidly.
Hermione nodded and Ginny left the two of them to work things out.
"I-I wanted to thank you," he whispered, "for helping with the baby... I know you were angry with us for deceiving you like we did..."
"I'm not going to pretend that I'm fine with what happened," Hermione replied softly. "But whether you two were James and Marion or Harry and Tonks, you were both there for me when I needed friends." She paused to wipe the tears from her eyes and took the offered handkerchief from Harry. "Don't get me wrong, I'm furious with you," she sobbed, "and hurts that you didn't tell me..."
"I know," Harry said quietly. "I don't expect you to want to continue our friendship after everything that's happened-"
"Don't be daft!" Hermione said incredulously. "Just after I get you back in my life, do you think I'm going to throw you away again?!"
Harry looked up with hope and reached out tentatively for the crying best friend he'd missed for so long. When he faltered and attempted to pull back, Hermione flung her arms around him and hugged him for all she was worth. That was the catalyst that caused the two of them to burst into tears.
"I miss her too, Harry, I really do..." Hermione choked out as he wept onto her shoulder. "I'm so sorry this happened! She seemed so happy..."
"She was," Harry said after a moment. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you straight away... I was going to tell you today..."
Hermione's hug tightened even further as did Harry's and after a few minutes, they pulled apart and smiled softly at one another.
"Give me some time, Harry," Hermione said gently. "I need to work this out and get used to the baby..."
Harry nodded as he wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Take all the time you want, Hermione; I'm not going anywhere..."
Molly set her hand comfortingly on Harry's shoulder and he looked up to the motherly smile on her face. "Are you ready to go home?"
"I-I don't think I can go back to the house, Mrs. Weasley..." Harry said sadly.
"Then you'll have to come back to the Burrow with us," she replied with a sniffle. The mention of Ron's childhood home caused Harry's mood to darken and the Weasley matron picked up on it immediately. "Don't worry, dear, you can have Percy's old room," she said sadly, "we're closing off his room..." she added angrily.
Harry shook off his anger and looked to the faces of the other Weasleys that had made their way to the table without his knowing. They were looking at him eagerly and he could see they all supported the decision their mother had made.
He smiled at his surrogate family and nodded. "I don't think I can go back to the house right now..." he said again, tears beginning to well in his eyes as scenes of Tonks sleeping on the sofa, squatting in the garden potting flowers, her bright smiles, laying next to him in bed, and several other special moments flashed in his mind. "I-I can't..." he said hoarsely and Molly pulled him into another hug.
"You won't have to, Harry dear," she said tenderly. "Why don't we go back to the Burrow for some tea and we'll get you settled in?"
"We can take care of the house for you," Fred said quietly.
"That's right," George piped in. "Don't worry about a thing, Harry."
The next few hours were a blur for Harry as they all apparated back to the Burrow. Fred, George, Ginny and Bill had gone to the house he and Tonks had shared and packed everything up the next day. Harry remained in his new room gazing longingly at a picture of Tonks while he caressed her face. The photo Tonks smiled back at him and seemed to lean into his finger each time it touched the glass.
"Harry?" Ginny's voice wafted in quietly from the door. "Professor Dumbledore is here to see you..."
"I'll be right there," Harry said absently and smiled lovingly at the photo. "I'll be back, Love," he whispered before planting a kiss on the glass. He heard a whimper and turned to see Ginny rush from the doorway. With a deep sigh, he wiped his eyes dry and went to the kitchen where Albus Dumbledore sat, nursing a mug of hot cocoa.
"Harry, I see you're keeping your strength up," he said with a faint smile.
Harry shrugged and sat at the table. "Tonks wouldn't want me to let myself go," he said quietly. "That's one of the promises we made to each other..."
The headmaster nodded quietly. "I'm here about two things," he explained. "First, I wanted to let you know we can find a replacement for you at the school, I'm sure you'll want the rest of the time to work through your loss-"
"No," Harry said immediately. "No, that's fine, just give me a few weeks, I'm sure Snape can handle the class until then... does anyone know I'm James Baker?"
"We haven't let anyone else know," Dumbledore said quietly.
"Good," Harry said. "I'll finish the year out as James Baker, we'll let the curse live on this last year... I'll return as myself next year if that's fine with you."
"That's more than fine, Harry," Albus said with a smile. "But what about your Auror position, I heard they gave you a promotion and a raise..."
"My reason for being an Auror has ended," Harry said with a sigh. "We've caught all of Voldemort's supporters, at least the ones we knew existed, and my fight is ended... it's time I teach others to protect themselves so another 'Harry Potter' or 'Albus Dumbledore' won't be needed."
Dumbledore smiled and nodded his understanding. "Very well said, Harry," he said with pride. "Now, on to the other business... I've discovered exactly what went wrong with our young Mr. Weasley."
Harry looked up from his mug, which had been set there by Molly before she left the room, and gazed at the old wizard inquisitively, though is face was hard and unreadable.
"As you recall, I had to use Legilimency to help Mr. Weasley with his issues after the fight at the Department of Mysteries. The being that attached itself to him fused conflicting emotions and thoughts in his mind and amplified many of his own insecurities-"
"I thought you cured him of their effects," Harry asked evenly.
"I believed I had," Dumbledore replied, "but I missed one thing... his obsession with you."
"He was obsessed with me?" Harry asked incredulously.
"Each of the women he'd named had a connection to you in some way, be it friendship or romance..." Dumbledore explained. "Apparently, he was so obsessed with having everything you did that he'd gone around to each of them and attempted to bring them under his control. Two of those women died during the process and you know what happened to Miss Granger...
"Needless to say, he used several memory charms on each of his victims to cover up his activities. Miss Lovegood did not survive when she resisted him, the same with Miss Patil... also during this time, he'd been gambling quite furiously in an attempt to obtain wealth-"
"Wait!" Harry said confusedly. "Ron tortured these girls because they'd showed interest in me? And what exactly did he do to Hermione?!"
Dumbledore sighed and nodded thoughtfully. "While you were in school, what were the issues between the two of you?"
"In fourth year he was jealous of my fame and fortune," Harry spat sarcastically. "I thought he'd gotten over that after the first task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament!"
"He buried those feelings, yes, but the dark creature that attacked him enhanced those feelings to extreme levels. Paranoia had also settled in, if you recall the difficult time I experienced sorting through his memories and removing the harmful ones to his pensieve..." Harry nodded. "He'd managed to hide several things from me. The first was a near insane jealousy of you that apparently turned to hatred... he'd hidden those feelings well and once out from under the watchful gaze of his parents, began to collect things that would make him your better.
"Thus, he turned to gambling. It's been reported that he spent several hours a day at horse and dog tracks, betting on Quidditch games and the like... within the span of three years, he was able to amass a rather large sum of money, nearly rivaling your parents' trust. During this time, he was using memory charms on Miss Granger to keep her questions at bay, then eventually to control her."
"I think she still looks to the clock every day at two," Harry growled angrily. "What about his status as keeper of the Canons?"
"He was never on any professional Quidditch team," Dumbledore said with a sigh. "That was one of his many lies that he'd propagated."
"How will the memory charms affect Hermione? What about the baby?" Harry asked concernedly and in rapid succession.
"She'll be fine, Harry," Dumbledore said with a reassuring smile, "as will your child. She's currently at St. Mungo's undergoing treatment and should be released within the next few days. The returning memories are going to be tough for her to handle at first-"
"You don't even have to ask me to be there for her," Harry said immediately. "I knew something was wrong! Hermione would never willingly submit to Ron's lies!"
"As to what he'd done to her, pertaining to having children..." Dumbledore said warily. "He found a way to remove her uterus. Madam Pomfrey informed me of this when Hermione requested treatment. The most the school nurse could do was relieve the pain, but when she offered to carry your child, the mediwizards at St. Mungo's had to transfer Tonks' uterus as well..."
Harry buried his face in his hands. "The pain was all in her head... Hermione told me that her mother had problems conceiving and she would as well..." he groaned miserably as his anger began to build once again. "I knew about her 'stomach problems' but why didn't Susan catch that?"
"It seems Ron cast a memory charm on her as well..." Albus said with a sigh. "He was rather thorough when it came to his cover-ups and those he couldn't manipulate were pushed from their lives..."
"Like me, his family, her family..." Harry growled angrily. "What's going to happen to him?"
"He's going to Azkaban for life," Dumbledore said sadly. "Due to his mental condition, he's being spared the Dementor's Kiss."
"Did Mr. Weasley have a hand in that?" Harry asked quietly.
"No, I didn't," Mr. Weasley said from the doorway. "I'm going to miss my son, Harry, but what he's done over the past few years is inexcusable. I do not condone the Kiss on anyone! It's not our right to take the soul of another person. Though Ron is my son, and I still love him, he'll pay for the misery he's inflicted on others."
Harry saw the pain in the older man's eyes and understood that he wasn't the only one who'd lost a loved one recently. The Weasleys had effectively lost Ron three years prior. Harry set a comforting hand on Arthur's arm and nodded, letting him know that he understood what he was going through. Harry, after all, nearly lost his own child and that thought brought back all the memories of Tonks that he'd been keeping in the back of his mind during their conversation.
"When's the trial then?" Harry asked quietly.
"In four days," Arthur said solemnly. "If you and Hermione were there to testify-"
Harry nodded swiftly, not letting his surrogate father finish the thought. "I'll be there," Harry said evenly. "I can't speak for Hermione, however..."
"Now that that's settled," Dumbledore said after clearing his throat. "Do you have any lesson plans for the few weeks you'll be gone?"
"I have them in their respective cubicles," Harry said absently. "If you'll excuse me, I'm rather tired..."
"Of course, Harry," Albus said softly.
Harry left the table and headed for his room once again. He didn't get any farther than the bottom of the stairs before Ginny called to him from the sitting room.
"Harry?" she said.
"Hey, Ginny," Harry said as he walked over to her. He knew she'd listened in on the conversation and before he knew what he was doing, had her in a tight hug. "He didn't do anything to you, did he?" Harry asked concernedly.
"No," she whimpered on his shoulder, clutching at him desperately. "I can't believe what happened to Ron..."
"I know, neither can I," Harry said quietly as he rubbed her back.
"Don't shut yourself in your room, Harry," Ginny pleaded quietly. "Don't shut us out, let us help you..."
"It hurts, Gin," Harry said softly. "She told me to go to Hermione... can you believe that? Like I'd just abandon her memory like that-"
"She wanted you to live, Harry," Ginny interrupted softly as she pulled away and cupped his cheek. "Tonks wanted you to be happy and continue living... she didn't want you cooped up in a room talking to her photograph as if it were her..."
Harry fought back the hurt and anger Ginny's words were causing and he nodded despite his feelings. "I know," Harry said evenly, but softened. "I love her, Gin, it's not going to just go away," he said as he rubbed irritatingly at his eyes. "I need time... maybe... maybe I'll explore something with Hermione later, but now?" He shook his head sadly. "Thinking about that now is impossible..."
Ginny's tears had fallen again at the pain in his eyes and the profound sadness that had overcome her friend. "We uprooted the garden and shrunk it down for you," she said warmly and handed him what looked like a fish tank. Inside was the garden that Tonks had started to plant before it had gotten too cold outside. They were planning on casting a greenhouse charm to keep the flowers alive during the winter, but never got the chance.
Harry marveled at the now miniaturized garden and a slight smile brightened his face momentarily as he remembered how excited Tonks was when she started working in the flowerbeds.
Tonks beamed at his praise and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm glad you like it," she said excitedly, "there are lilies, asters, and acacias here." She pointed animatedly to her right and left.
"I like the daffodils you've set off by the... gardenias?" Harry asked, looking at the small arrangement.
"Yes, gardenias," Tonks said, squatting next to him. "I couldn't decide if I liked the jonquil or mimosas better so I bought them both and they fit wonderfully well here..." She pointed around the daffodils to a trail of differing flowers that eventually led to a pair of new rose bushes.
"White and Red roses?" Harry asked as he bent to sniff at a bloomed red rose. "You're really getting into this, aren't you?" he asked with a laugh.
Tonks wrapped her arms around him from behind as he plucked one of the rose blooms from the bush. "We're going to be here for a while... I can't just sit around and read all day..." she said with a wide smile as he slipped the flower into her hair.
Harry wiped at the tears that had somehow found their way to his cheeks and he looked at Ginny with a soft smile. "Thank you," he choked out as she enveloped him in another hug.
"I did some research on the flowers and each of them had one theme," she whispered in his ear. "They all say that she loved you very much, Harry, each and every one... she'll always love you and you need to take her advice..." Ginny stepped back and wiped her own tears away. "Live, Harry..."
Harry nodded slowly and made his way back to his room. He set the miniaturized garden on the bedside table next to a photo of Harry and Tonks from their trip to the Caribbean. He retrieved the visage of Tonks he had been talking to earlier and let his tears fall freely once again. With a kiss to the glass, where the smiling woman's cheek had moved, Harry crawled under his covers and curled into a tight ball.
"Goodnight, Love," he whispered just before his emotionally drained body dragged him into unconsciousness. The last thing he saw before his world went black was Tonks smiling and waving happily to him.
"Harry!" Tonks said with a playful laugh as she emerged from the surf. Harry was laughing heartily as well, watching his beautiful fiancée fight against the waves that kept knocking her down. With a wide smile on his face, he ran into the ocean and helped her stand in the water.
"I've missed you so much, Love," Harry said quietly as he caressed her cheek. He smiled as he felt her soft lips press into his palm.
"I'm right here," Tonks said lovingly and placed a hand over his heart. "I'll always be with you, Love."
Harry couldn't contain himself and leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were as soft as he remembered, as moist, and her kiss every bit as comforting. He felt her arms encircle his neck as she deepened their kiss and he sighed happily when they parted.
"You can't keep doing this to yourself, Love," Tonks said tenderly, stroking his tearstained cheek. "You have to let go..."
"I can't," he said with a sob. "I can't let you go, I love you so much!"
"I love you too, Harry," she said compassionately, "but you have to move on... Erin's going to need her daddy... Hermione needs her best friend..." Tonks pulled out of their hug, even though Harry tried desperately to cling to her. "Let me go, Harry... live your life, My Love..."
"DON'T GO!" Harry sobbed as he reached blindly in the dark. He gasped for air and looked around desperately only to realize that he had been dreaming... again.
"Harry dear, is everything ok?" Molly asked through the door.
When Harry didn't answer straight away, she opened the door a crack and found him clutching his pillow to him as if his life depended on it. She stepped into the room and sat next to him on the bed. Quietly, she smoothed his unruly hair and sat patiently as she had countless times when her own children had nightmares. Eventually, his sobbing receded and he cleared his throat.
"Sorry..." he croaked.
"Hush, no need to be sorry, it's only natural," Molly cooed gently as she continued to brush his hair from his forehead. "It's been three weeks, hardly any time for you to get over her..."
"I'm going to her grave today," he said quietly. "I have to make sure she's warm..."
"Harry, she's in a place where she'll always be warm," Mrs. Weasley said quietly. "She lives in your heart and she'll live on in your child... will you be visiting Hermione again today?"
"She needs me," Harry said immediately. "Erin needs me, they both do, I can't abandon them..."
"Erin?" Molly asked perplexed.
"My daughter," Harry said quietly. "Tonks told me that we were having a daughter and she named her Erin..."
"Oh, Harry..." Molly said sadly and pulled him into a hug. "That's a beautiful name."
Harry pulled out of the embrace reluctantly and looked her in the eyes. "Mrs. Weasley-"
"I'll have no Mrs. Weasley out of you," she said sternly. "Call me Molly."
"I-I can't just yet," he said seriously. "But I'll try... I just wanted to ask you a favor."
"Anything, Harry."
"My parents have been gone for some time and so have Tonks'... I consider you the mother I never knew and was wondering if you'd act as Erin's grandmother..."
Molly's hand shot to her mouth at Harry's request. "I'd love to!" she said with a sob and gathered him in one of her famous bone-crushing hugs.
"I was hoping Mr. Weasley would do the same..." Harry said quietly, a smile playing at his lips.
"I'm sure Arthur would be delighted!" Molly said happily as tears streaked down her cheeks. "We'll tell him in the morning!"
Harry sighed and pulled from their embrace once more. "Thank you," he said tiredly and lay back down.
"We'll see you in the morning, Harry," Molly said with a sniffle. "Erin is going to have one hell of a father!"
Harry smiled at the declaration as he slipped off to sleep once again.