Operation: BEEF

            “…You mean they’re not?”  Colin asked, confused.

                “NO!”  Ron cried.  “You idiot, they are NOT going out!”

                Colin stammered.  “B-b-but the pictures…”  He held out several moving photographs and Ron grabbed them, sifting through them irritably.  This was without a doubt the stupidest thing little Colin had done.  He doubted even the legendary bumbler Neville Longbottom could have screwed something up this much.

                 The rumor’s about Harry Potter’s “special someone” were getting out of hand.  He was a growing into a handsome young man, they said.  Of course he had to have a secret girlfriend somewhere.  Last week the tabloids had paired him off with Frieda Horsewig, a famous witch singer, who Ron himself had a slight crush on.  The week before they had paired him off with Madonna, which amused Hermione to no end.  And if that weren’t bad enough, yesterday Witch Weekly actually had the nerve to report that Harry Potter was romantically involved with Minerva McGonagall.

                The teasing and catcalls would go on for years after Hogwarts, and Harry was furious.  Ron shivered at even the slightest implication.  Even Hermione twitched at the sound of that particular rumor.  Professor McGonagall, however, found this to be an excellent source of moral fiber, so she did nothing to deny the story.

                “It’s because I turned her hat into a toilet…” Harry had grumbled.  “This is punishment, is what it is.”

                But that didn’t matter now.  What mattered was the fact that a new “Harry Potter’s Special Someone” article was looming over the horizon.  Next week’s cover story: “Harry Potter Finds True Love in Muggle-Born Witch”.

                “You gave them these pictures!?”  Ron demanded.  “Are you mad!?  You are so screwed.”

                “I-I thought they wouldn’t mind!!”  Colin stammered.  “You said they wouldn’t!”

                “When did I say that?!”

                “Two days ago!  When you were playing chess with Dean!”

~

                “Your move.”  Ron grunted at Dean,, moving his bishop forward.

                “Bloody hell, you can’t do that!”  Dean pointed at his piece. 

                “Yes I can!”  Ron argued. 

                “No you can’t!”

                “Yes I can!”

                “No!”

                “Yes!”

                “No!”

                “Say Ron…”  Colin sauntered up to the heated argument by the chess table, oblivious to the fight.  “I can’t find Harry or Hermione, but Witch Weekly wanted a few of my photos of the two of them.  You’re their best friend, so d’you think I should let them borrow my pictures?”

                “Yes!”

                “Thanks.”  Colin smiled and scrambled away to collect his photographs while the two chess players continued their argument.

                “No!”

                “Yes!”

                “Hey.  Was Colin just here?  Did he want something?”  Dean’s eye caught the younger boy’s retreating form.

                “Don’t you change the subject, Thomas.  That was a fair move and you know it!”

                “No it wasn’t!”

~

                “Bloody hell…”  Ron slapped his forehead.  “We are screwed beyond all belief.”

                “They said they were going to run the story in next weeks issue.  Seven days.”  Colin squeaked timidly.  “I mean, you know the saying ‘a picture says a thousand words’?  Well Harry and Hermione are always busy so I never get to ask them.  But once in a while I manage to grab a candid shot and…well…you can understand why I thought they were dating…”

                Ron looked over the Colin’s moving pictures again.  Harry with his arm around a diligently studying Hermione.  Hermione peeking at Harry over her large book in the library.  Hermione falling asleep on Harry’s shoulder and Harry stroking her shoulder.  The two of them in a crowded corridor, trying to inconspicuously sneak glances at each other.

                It indeed looked like incriminating evidence.

                But Ron knew that those were just platonic coincidences.  He was their best friend, and despite having “the emotional range of a teaspoon”, he would definitely know if his best friends had a “thing”.

                Which they certainly did not.

                “Now what are we going to do.”  Ron angrily threw the pictures on the table.  “Hermione is going to hex us into pieces.  Then Harry’s gonna curse those individual pieces into oblivion.”

                “Why?  Doesn’t this happen all the time?”  Colin asked curiously.

                “Are you daft?  Harry hates the rumors, and now that Hermione’s involved he’s going to be more dangerous than a sex-deprived Hungarian Horntail.”

                “So…he hates all the lies…?”  Colin inquired.

                “YES!” Ron groaned rubbing at his forehead.  The little twerp just was not getting it.

                “So, what if it wasn’t?”

                “Wasn’t what?”

                “A lie.”

                Ron blinked at him.  “But it is a lie.”

                “And if it wasn’t…?”  Colin prodded nervously.

                “What are you playing at, Creevey?”

                “Well I…I think…pictures never lie.”  Colin picked up the picture of Harry and Hermione napping.  “And if this picture shows what I think it does...”

                Ron scowled at the sudden role-reversal.  Now he himself was the one not getting it.  “What the hell are you going on about?”

                “I’m saying…what if the article was true?”

                “Colin.  Listen to me.  It.  Is.  Not.”

                “R-right now it isn’t, but if it were true by the time the article came out…”

                Ron blinked in slight understanding.  “They would still skin us alive.  I mean, remember the Rita Skeeter fiasco?”

                “They weren’t together then.”  Colin said.  “I…I think that if we get them together it might make them…I mean, look at the pictures.  There’s something there.”

                “No there isn’t!” Ron fumed.

                “O-okay…but if there was.  I mean, them being together would finally shut the rumors up for good.”

                Ron nodded slowly.

                “And – and if we get them together a couple days before the article comes out maybe they’ll think Witch Weekly got the pictures just after they started dating, not before, from us.  They’ll figure that their relationship is like some big scoop and Witch Weekly pushed everything aside to make a last minute cover story.”

                This piqued Ron’s interest.  That meant they would be off the hook!  He nodded faster.

                “And not to mention we’d be helping them out by giving them a little push with something that’s already there – “

                “THERE’S NOTHING THERE!”  Ron exploded.

                “O-o-okay.” Colin squeaked.  “But the other two…sound good right?”

                Ron tapped at his chin and squinted beadily at Colin in an appearance of consideration.  Of course, he thought the plan was brilliant, but he needed to make Colin squirm at least a little.  This was Colin Creevey, after all.

                “I like it.”

                Colin beamed.

                “And you know, they may even thank us for this.”  Ron grinned.  “Maybe even owe us…”

                Ron was impressed at the little midget’s thinking.  He guessed mousy little photographers were good for something after all.

                “So I think we have…about four days…”  Colin said.

                “Four?  I thought the article comes out in a week!”

                “Well, we have to get them together before then.” Colin explained.   “Otherwise there’s no way Harry and Hermione would think Witch Weekly got their story after they starting dating.  The press can’t release the article after only they’ve been dating a couple of hours.”

                “So the extra three days is for Harry and Hermione to think Witch Weekly is gathering the story.”

                “Yes.”

                “Brilliant.” Ron rubbed his hands together.  “So we’ve got four days. “

                “Yes.  Shouldn’t be too hard, the pictures - ” Colin noticed Ron get riled up. “ – I mean, yeah.  Not too hard.”

                “Cheers then.”  Ron took Colin’s hand and shook it.  “Partner-in-crime.”

                Colin tried to subdue his enormous, excited smile.  Ron Weasley, Harry Potter’s best friend, just shook his hand.  Called him his partner. 

                “We should name this project.”  Colin suggested.

                “What?”

                “A code name, in case we have to talk about it in public. I think it would be better to keep this secret.”

                Ron nodded.  He looked around and his eyes landed on a stale pumpkin pie someone had left on the table two days ago.  Light bulb moment.

                “How about Operation - ”

                “Beef.”

                “What?”

                “I don’t know.”  Colin shrugged.  “I’m hungry…”

                “Me too…Operation: Beef it is, then.”

                Colin grinned.  He never thought saving his hide from the wrath of Harry Potter and Hermione Granger would be so much fun.

 NOTE:  I figure one chapter per day of Operation: Beef?  So about four chapters?  Maybe five?  Not too long since I really should stop procrastinating like a bum and actually study.  College is a bitch.