Unofficial Portkey Archive

Ron's Admirer Pt. 2

Author's notes: Thanks for all the comments on the first part. I'm glad that you think I'm funny. I wish I had time to reply to all your reviews, but they are all very much appreciated.

A/N 2: Someone asked about the references constantly made to Harry's "grin." Well, it doesn't really have any kind of basis in canon-it's more a shout-out to Dan. I think every time Daniel Radcliffe cracks a smile, women from miles around start swooning (I do, at least).

Harry was grumpy.

I didn't think this was very fair. It was me, after all, who had a pounding headache and a rather large bruise on the chest. I also hadn't slept very well the night before on account of the punctuated snickers I kept hearing. Not to mention, every time I drifted off, I was immediately surrounded by large, blue eyes. So, by rights, I thought the bad mood should belong to me.

Unfortunately, when Harry was grumpy, there was very little anyone could do about it.

"Why don't you just make up with her?" I said to him, as we made our way towards the Great Hall.

"Make up with who?" Harry said as he stomped down the stairs. "I'm not fighting with anyone."

I rolled my eyes. "You'll both feel better."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ron," he snapped, a warning edge to his voice.

"I talked to Hermione yesterday, she's quite the mess. She-"

"Don't say her name!" Harry hissed, stomping ahead of me.

Okay. This was worse than I thought. The last time Harry and Hermione stopped speaking it was because of that Firebolt incident. That, however, was somewhat of a different circumstance. The point was, this was very unusual.

"You don't even remember why you're mad at her!" I said, hurrying to catch up with the Boy Who Sulked A Lot.

Harry made a sweeping gesture with his arm. "I don't know why she's angry with me. I'm not making the first move. She started it."

Harry just resorted to two-year-old logic. I needed a moment.

Okay. Moment over.

"Well, maybe if you made the first attempt, Hermione would be more willing to-"

"DON'T SAY HER NAME!" he screeched.

Looking even moodier than before, Harry continued on. I was somewhat disgruntled to see that he was clenching and unclenching his fists.

Must. Resist. Urge. To. Torture. Him.

Not. Resisting. Well.

"Hermione," I whispered from behind him.

Harry flinched, but kept walking, clearly intent on not rising to my bait.

I waited another moment.

"Hermione!"

Harry made a low hissing noise, but kept going.

"HERMIONE!" I yelled.

Uh, oh. Harry had his wand out. It probably wasn't the best idea to torture the only wizard who had the power to defeat You-Know-Who.

"HermioPEE," I said quickly. "Hermiopee. It's, uh…a type of tree. Haven't you heard of it?"

"No," Harry growled. "And I wouldn't recommend bringing it up again."

"You know…" I continued, ignoring the fact that Harry had just growled. "Fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself."

"Good thing I'm not afraid of trees, then," Harry snapped from between clenched teeth.

Honestly, if there was some form of male PMS…

I thought it wise not to bring up the subject again and we continued to the Great Hall in silence.

I couldn't help it-my gaze immediately went to the Ravenclaw table. I found Luna right away. She was hard to miss, with her funny earrings and odd clothes. She looked up as I entered, her eyes locking on mine. She beamed at me happily and I grinned back at her. It only made her beam harder and that made me, in turn, grin even harder. It was an interesting cycle.

Harry coughed and I turned to look at him, flushing a little. "Yeah? You have a problem with something?"

Harry looked entirely too smug. "No. No problem." He waited a beat. "So… what was all the grinning and beaming about?"

I avoided his eye and hurried to our usual spot at the Gryffindor table. "It's… she's not that bad," I muttered, as we sat down.

Hermione, who was already there, stared at Harry warily as we took our seats. Harry didn't even bother acknowledging her presence.

"Good morning, Ron," Hermione said in a stiff tone.

"Morning, Hermione," I said cheerfully.

"So," Harry continued, completely ignoring Hermione. "Are you going to give her a chance?"

This was beginning to get very uncomfortable. "Yeah…" I swallowed. "I think… it's possible I might actually fancy her. A little."

"A little," Hermione snorted. "The way you were carrying on yesterday…"

With self-control I wasn't aware I possessed, I squelched the urge to point out the way she was carrying on yesterday.

"Ron," Harry said coolly. "Will you tell Hermione not to butt in on other people's conversations?"

"Um," I said faintly, beginning to loosen my collar.

Hermione stiffened. "Ron," she said, in an equally frosty tone. "Will you tell Harry that he's got a giant stick rammed up his arse?"

"Err…" I said, tugging at my collar some more.

Harry was glaring daggers at Hermione from across the table. "Ron, will you tell Hermione that my arse is just fine, thanks?"

"NO!" I squeaked. "I refuse to talk about your arse!"

Hermione snorted into her mug of coffee.

Harry glared.

I sighed.

And thus, the meal continued.

"Ron, will you ask Harry to pass the sugar?"

"Ron, will you ask Hermione to pass the orange juice?"

"Ron, will you ask Harry to stop chewing with his mouth open?"

"Ron, will you ask Hermione to stop talking?"

My poor aching head. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. I began to sympathize with Harry a little more. No wonder he was always in such a bad mood. He and Hermione had been at it less than a day and I was ready to go out back and perform Avada Kedavra on myself. And Hermione and I had been bickering for the last six years.

"Ron, will you-"

"Nope!" I cut in, striving to remain cheerful. "Urgent meeting I must get to. See you later."

I rushed off, barely noticing that I was making my way over to the Ravenclaw table. I needed some sympathy, and was nearly certain that I'd be able to get it from Luna.

I collapsed into the seat next to her, rubbing my temples. "Hi…"

"Hello, Ronald." She peered at me for a long time. "Does your head hurt?"

"So much…" my eye started twitching (I'm serious, twitching). "I can't think straight…"

"Heavy thoughts?" she whispered, an unreadable look on her face.

"No," I said. "No… it's the sounds of Harry and Hermione bickering." I slumped down on the table, leaning my forehead against it. "I never thought I'd say this, but I really miss Hermione sniping at me."

"You're in love with her," Luna said softly.

Well. It was good to know that we were going to be getting things out in the open so quickly. If "good" was a synonym for "bad" and "terrifying."

"Of course," I said, in what I hoped was an off-hand voice. "She's one of my best friends."

"You know what I meant."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Please…" I whimpered. "My head really does hurt."

She laughed softly. "Should I take you to Madam Pomfrey?"

At that moment, Hermione's shrill voice rang out across the hall.

"Neville, will you PLEASE tell Harry to STOP looking in my direction?"

Followed by Harry's retort.

"Neville, will you PLEASE tell Hermione that looking in her direction is the LAST thing on my mind?"

"Ow!" I said. "Make it stop… make it stop…"

Luna giggled softly to herself. It was a pretty sound-her giggling. Next thing I knew, the sounds of the Great Hall were muted and I found that Luna's hands were covering my ears. I blushed, but felt a rush of relief. I looked up at her, her hands still over my ears. We stared at each other for a very long time until the rest of the Great Hall faded into a blur of colours and noise.

I licked my lips. "Do you think… do you think it'd be okay if I kissed you?"

Her eyes lit up and she said… something.

"WHAT?" I hollered.

She said something again.

"What? SPEAK UP, WILL YOU???"

She rolled her eyes and removed her hands from my ears. Oh. Right.

"You're mad," she whispered, grinning.

"So?" I leaned forward. We were even closer now. "I thought you liked that in a guy."

"I like it in you."

There was a definite jolt there. Ahh… and a pleasant feeling of warmth pooling in my stomach. I leaned closer to her until our foreheads brushed.

"Can I kiss you?" I breathed.

"If you'd like," she said. "Though, very many people will see."

"Don't care," I responded, feeling her breath whistle on my cheek. "Unless… do you…"

"No," she said hurriedly. "No, I just thought…"

Oh, screw it. I leaned in, pressing my lips up against hers. Explosions! Fireworks! Bombs going off! The Earth was definitely rocketing towards the sun!

We pulled away and continued to stare at each other, a little bit dazed.

"Wow," I breathed. "Wow…"

Luna continued smiling at me. "You're an excellent kisser, Ronald."

I flushed. "Really?" I said eagerly.

She leaned forward again. "Yes."

We smiled at each other and I felt… wonderful. Elated. Ecstatic. Smashing. There really weren't enough words in English to cover how I felt.

"Mysteriously, my headache seems to have cleared right up," I said, still looking into her eyes. There was something about her eyes that captivated me.

"Good," Luna whispered. "Because your friends have come to retrieve you."

"Hmm… what…?"

"Good morning, Harry!" Luna sung out cheerfully, standing up and breaking our eye contact. "How are you?"

"Oh, me?" Harry responded, sounding irritated. "I'm excellent, really. Never been better. You?"

"Dazed," she said honestly. "Ronald has that effect on me."

I blushed and felt that pool of warmth gathering in my stomach. I stood up shakily next to Luna, feeling like I was facing the inquisition squad. Harry and Hermione were standing rigidly, identical scowls on their faces. At least they were standing next to each other, even if they didn't look entirely happy about it.

Hermione made a sound of disgust in the back of her throat and glared at Luna. "Well, I hate to break up the moment, but we have class."

"Oh, you two go on ahead," I said, feeling a little bit evil. "I'll join you soon."

"We'll wait," Harry said with a pointed look in my direction.

I chose to ignore it. "Naww, you two go on. No point in getting in trouble because of me."

"We'll wait," Hermione said sharply.

I sighed. "Right," I muttered, glancing at Luna. "I'll see you later, then."

She nodded, though her whole attention was fixed upon watching Hermione curiously. Hermione looked a little uncomfortable and frowned in Luna's direction.

Feeling annoyed, I gathered up my stuff and started off towards Care of Magical Creatures. Harry and Hermione followed on either side of me, bodies stiff and eyes turned to the ground. Great. Not only had they spent the morning giving me a blinding headache, but they also managed to destroy a nice, intimate (intimate? Bugger…) moment with Luna.

"Hey, Harry?"

"Yes, Ron?"

"Hermione says she's really sorry. Hey, Hermione?"

"Tell Harry to go to hell, Ron," she said sweetly.

Hmm… not exactly what I had in mind, but it was too good to pass up.

"Hey, Harry?"

"Yes, Ron?"

"Hermione says to go to hell."

Apparently, Harry didn't think it was nearly as funny as I did.

"Hey, Ron?" he said.

"Yes, Harry?"

"Tell Hermione to shut up."

Ouch. Hermione shot me a piercing look and I decided that it probably wouldn't be wise to relay that message.

I cleared my throat. "I think it's possible," I said hesitantly. "That she may have heard you." I glanced at each of them, surprised to see matching expressions of misery on their faces. "Why don't you just make up?" I asked quietly. "Clearly neither of you are happy."

I saw Harry furtively glance in Hermione's direction before clenching his jaw. "I'll only make up if Hermione apologizes first."

"Guess we're not going to be making up, then," Hermione snapped.

Swell.

I began rubbing at my temples again. "Merlin, you two are murder on my head…"

Harry sighed and started cracking his knuckles. Hermione huffed out a long breath and started picking at an imaginary piece of lint on her robes.

I grit my teeth.

Avada Kedavra was beginning to look pretty appealing all of a sudden.

The clearing next to Hagrid's hut was empty, and there was only a sign pointing into the Forbidden Forest. As we were late, I assumed that the rest of the class had left without us. I followed the sign, crashing into the forest ahead of Harry and Hermione. I could practically feel them glaring daggers at each other behind my back.

We crashed through the growth of the forest, following the signs that Hagrid had left behind. Our silence was broken only by the sounds of Harry and Hermione sniping at each other.

"Ouch! Harry, that tree branch hit me in the face…"

"Did it? Tragic…"

"Arsehole."

"Oh? Did I let go of another tree branch? So sorry about that…"

Hearing the sounds of Hagrid's voice, I eagerly bounded in that direction. We clambered around another tree and I was very much relieved to see the grouping of familiar Hogwarts' robes.

Then several things happened in quick succession. The three of us got a very good luck at Hagrid's creature of the moment. Hermione shrieked and I turned, worried, only to stop dead at the sight of her gripping Harry's arm, her face pale.

The two of them looked at each other, glanced down at Hermione's hand on Harry's arm, then looked at each other again.

Annoying Thing Harry and Hermione Do Number 4: It was common knowledge that, whenever Hermione got scared, she automatically grabbed Harry's arm.

She had yet to grab onto anyone else in a fright. Though, what started off as something she did occasionally, she'd been doing a lot more frequently. Oh, no, Harry! There's a fly in my porridge! Let me grab your arm! Oh, no, Harry! I broke a nail! Let me grab your arm! Oh, no, Harry! I'm not sure I got 110% on that exam! Let me grab your arm!

It was very, very annoying.

Hermione and Harry glanced down at her hand on his arm again before meeting each other's eyes. Harry cleared his throat and said. "It's okay, Hermione. I wouldn't let anything hurt you."

She sniffled. "Oh, Harry!" she wailed, letting go of his arm in favour of throwing both her arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry!" she sobbed. "I feel so horrible."

I just stared at them.

"Aww, it's okay, Hermione," Harry whispered, holding her tightly. "It was a stupid fight…"

"It was!" she continued, her voice high and shrill. "I never want to fight again!"

Harry looked over at me over the top of her head, eyes wide and panicky. "Pat her on the head!" I mouthed at him, making vague patting gestures in the air in front of me.

"What?" he mouthed back.

I sighed and continued patting the air. Honestly, boys were so useless when it came to crying girls…

Harry gave me a disgusted look and started rubbing her back, making low soothing noises. Well. That'd probably work, too, admittedly. Eventually, Hermione's crying quieted, but she and Harry seemed quite content to go on hugging each other. At least it was a step up from the bickering.

I turned back around, noticing for the first time that Hagrid's entire Care of Magical Creature's class was staring at the three of us. Harry and Hermione, unfortunately, were too distracted by their touching reconciliation to notice.

I cleared my throat nervously, suddenly very thankful that, now that it was sixth-year, there were no more Slytherins left in the course. "Hello," I said lamely, shifting back and forth.

"Hello, Ron!" Hagrid said cheerfully. "Did yeh see the size of old Grawpy?"

At the word "Grawpy" the entire class took a step back. Sure enough, there was Grawp, sitting back on his haunches and playing with trees he'd ripped out of the earth. Pleasant fellow that giant was.

Hermione whimpered somewhere from behind me and a quick glance in her direction showed me that she and Harry had stopped hugging in favor of more arm gripping.

Okay, seriously, Hermione, I can understand why gripping Harry's arm when we were, say, facing You-Know-Who would be a good idea. Hell, I'd grab Harry's arm if we were facing You-Know-Who. But I really couldn't see the point when we were facing a creature that had a good, I don't know, thirty feet on us. Holding on to Harry would just mean getting stomped on with Harry.

"So!" Hagrid continued, ignoring the faces of the terrified students around him. "Which one of yeh knows what to feed one of `em giants?"

There was a collective gulp. Let it be known that there was finally a question that Hermione Granger was not eager to answer.

"People?" Dean volunteered, his voice trembling.

Hermione whimpered again. This, of course, only made Harry feel all "protective" and "manly."

"Hagrid," he said, beginning to back up, tugging Hermione along. "We're going…"

This was the wrong thing to say, since it brought Grawp's attention to the two of them.

"HERMY?" Grawp questioned, shifting closer to our group and causing the ground to shake under our feet.

Hermione gasped and ducked behind Harry.

"No, Grawp!" Hagrid said warningly. "STAY, GRAWP! STAY!"

Harry started backing up again, his eyes fixed worriedly on Grawp. Hermione continued to cling to him, but allowed him to steer her out of the clearing.

Once they were gone, the rest of the class looked back at Hagrid and Grawp, feeling even more worried. Hermione Granger's willingness to skip class did not bode well for our future.

"HERMY GO!" Grawp cried. "HERMY GO!"

"Yeah, because she was terrified you big, overgrown… giant," I finished weakly.

Thankfully, Hagrid was too busy trying to control Grawp to notice my comment. The rest of the class was spent watching Hagrid trying to control Grawp, while shouting questions at us every once in a while that no one answered. I was beginning to think that Harry and Hermione had the right idea.

At some point, my mind drifted back to Luna again. I was drawn to her-that much was certain. She clearly liked me, liked me a lot if the secret admirer thing was any indication. But she was right, I'd long had feelings for Hermione. Not love, though. It wasn't love. It couldn't be love. First of all, me falling in love with Hermione was stupid. Second of all, if I did love Hermione (which I didn't), I probably wouldn't be thinking about Luna nearly this much.

The question was, really, what did she see in me? It must have been something big because she certainly went to a lot of trouble to make a point. She even shared her feelings with Harry. She was awfully confident, too, that I'd like her back.

My headache was beginning to come back.

This. This is where thinking deeply got me.

I sighed, and followed the rest of the class as we made our way out of the Forbidden Forest. We could hear Hagrid in the distance, continuing to yell at Grawp. Well, I certainly hope that taught him a lesson. Giants officially joined "Blast-Ended Shrewts" in things never to teach to a bunch of teenagers.

I stumbled out of the forest, surprised to find Harry and Hermione sitting side by side next to Hagrid's hut. The fact that they'd clearly been waiting for me didn't escape my notice. I made my way over to them, relieved to see that most of Hermione's colour had returned.

"Hey," the said, in unison, when I reached them. Ahh. Good to know they were back on familiar footing.

I held out a hand a to each of them, which they grasped, allowing me to pull them to their feet. "How was class?" I asked them, eyes twinkling a little.

Hermione shuddered. "I assure you, Ron. After the events of last year, I do not need to learn anything more about giants."

"Yeah, but it was awfully daring of you to run away and cower like that."

"It was shrieking my name!" she hissed. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Run over and give it a kiss?" I suggested with a bit of a smirk.

"Oh, honestly, Ron! Grow up…"

"Hey, at least I was man enough to stay there the entire time. I didn't need a big, strong, hero pulling me to safety…"

"Don't bring me into this," Harry muttered.

Hermione looked angry now, and she shot me a glaring look as we climbed the hill to the castle. "What would you know about it?" she snapped at me. "You weren't around last year when Harry and I met that thing!"

"Only because the pair of you took off while I was busy trying to win a Quidditch match!"

"Well!" Hermione said furiously. "What else were we supposed to do? We couldn't just ignore Hagrid!"

"Well! You could've waited until I was done!"

Hermione sniffed and continued glaring at me. "When we left, we were certain you were going to lose, anyway!"

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean? What are you implying?"

By the time we reached the castle, Hermione and I were both breathing hard and Harry was staring at the ground and mumbling to himself.

Soon the three of us were grinning at each other like complete and utter morons. "Well…" Harry said, flashing us one of his killer grins. Hermione took one look at it and nearly passed out. It made me feel quite faint myself. Damn it, Harry! Restrain that thing! "It's good to know that some things never change…"

Hermione humphed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"C'mon," I said. "Don't tell me you didn't love that, Hermione."

She blushed and stared at the ground. "Well…" she finally said slowly. "It was very… familiar."

Harry and I looked at each other and resisted the urge to burst out laughing. "Don't know how you do it, mate," he said to me. "Bickering with Hermione is exhausting."

"Practice," I said. "Lots and lots of practice."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Well, if it's any consolation, I much prefer bickering with you, Ron, than with Harry." She met Harry's eyes and dropped her voice. "It was also much, much worse. I don't think I've ever had a more awful two days."

They stared at each other for a long time. "Yeah," Harry whispered. "I know what you mean."

Then, by some unspoken agreement, they joined hands and continued onto the castle ahead of me. Um, hello, guys? HELLO? Seriously, still here! One of you could turn around now… I wouldn't mind holding Hermione's other hand. In fact, I'd probably be pretty okay about it.

I sighed and trailed behind them, feeling like something significant had happened, but not quite sure what it was.

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