A/N: Wow, thanks to all you reviewers out there! Keep doing it please! And some of you had a lot of questions pertaining to Hermione leaving and what Harry and Hermione's relationship is going to be now. There were some other questions too, and don't worry, you'll find out all about it soon enough. Well, my life is COMPLETELY crazy and busy right now, so I'll try to update these chapters whenever possible, but there could be long intervals of time between them. So don't hate me if they are! I will try to update, it's on my daily to-do list, I promise. And without further ado, I present to you chapter three of Life As It Is!
Life As It Is, Chapter 3
Differences
Hermione woke slowly and had to think for a second to remember where she was. She quietly got up and walked over to the window seat, watching the waves of the water that wasn't really there move gently up to the sand. She closed her eyes tightly and thought for a moment.
What happened last night? Oh, God, what's going on with me? I come back here, after ten years, and expect everything to turn out okay, and my old best friend to comfort me? I can't even imagine what he, what everyone went through when I left. I have to talk to him.
She was drawn abruptly out of her thoughts when Aidan walked into her room and up to the window seat.
"Hey Sweetie, how'd you sleep?" Hermione asked, pulling him onto her lap and running her fingers through his soft hair as he looked out the window.
"Good. I dreamed about Georgia."
"Oh, Aid, I was terribly horrible for bringing you over here, wasn't I?"
He smiled slightly and turned his head to look at her face.
"I don't mind, Mom. I told you I understood."
Hermione laughed and nuzzled the back of his head playfully. "You're the best child a Mum could ask for, Aid!" He giggled and jumped down.
"I think I'll go wake up Harry."
She looked at him with a slight smile. "You seem to have taken to him."
The boy shrugged and smiled with a twinkle in his warm blue eyes, before running out of the room as Hermione laughed. She hugged herself, thinking Oh if you could see him now, Henry. You'd be proud. She took one last look at the waves of the ocean before getting up and walking to her suitcase, pulling out a pair of jeans and a blue jumper and putting them on. She took a binder from her wrist and pulled her long hair into a ponytail.
After she brushed her teeth and such, Hermione walked out of her room barefooted and into the kitchen. Harry looked up from reading the daily prophet and silently greeted her.
"Where'd Aidan go?"
He put the paper down and said, "He's in his room. Reading, I think." Hermione nodded and looked towards the table, deliberately avoiding Harry's eyes.
"French toast? Num." She grabbed some and ate as quickly as she could still using manners. When she was done she dabbed her mouth with a napkin and folded her hands on the table.
"Listen, Harry, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about last night, about just coming back."
He tried interrupting her but she put her hand up and continued.
"I can't imagine how all of you felt when I left. Bloody mad, probably. And then there was not contacting any of you. At first, I just couldn't bear the contact. I suppose I felt too guilty about leaving, afraid you would be mad at me. Merlin, you wouldn't believe how many letters I started to you, or Ron, or Molly. I couldn't think of what to say, and each time it got harder to try. After a certain amount of time, I pretty much gave up. And then when I married Henry and had Aidan, I pretty much figured I was done with this life. And god knows that that doesn't excuse any of it. I was just hoping that you could…forgive me?"
Harry furrowed his brows and looked down at his hands. In a silent voice he replied, "We're not best friends anymore, Hermione."
She looked at him, a bit taken aback.
"I-I know."
He looked at her with a bit of anger in his eyes.
"Do you know, Hermione? Do you really know? Because you have no idea what I, what all of us went through when you left. You weren't the only sad one, Hermione. You weren't the only one that was grieving. Everyone lost someone in that war, you know. You were the only one that left. And you have no idea what I felt when you left. I was sad, hurt, and angry. That was one of the hardest times in my life, and you deserted me! I've tried to hold this all in, yesterday I was just happy that you were back. But you have to hear this! Not only was I sad when you left, the `Daily Prophet' had to parade it in my face every damn day after for at least two months. Imaginary sightings of you, articles with names like 'No Signs of 'the heart' of the trio'. It was hard for me, and we aren't best friends anymore! I don't know if we're even friends! You can't know, Hermione. You just can't."
"And Ron! Ron stayed by me all that time, he was the one that lost his sister! He was, if possible, even more depressed when you left. We moved on, Hermione. We all moved on. So you can't just parade back here and think everything is going to be all right again."
Throughout this speech, Hermione had opened and closed her mouth, trying to say things but not being able to. After a bit of silence as Harry breathed in and out, she looked up determinably as her lip quivered.
"You're right. I didn't know. I didn't want to know. I cried myself to sleep so many nights after I left. And I know that I'm really making this about myself. How many times have I used the word `I' so far? You're right. I was weak, I couldn't bear it. And I don't know how I'm going to make it up to you. I could say sorry, promise you I wouldn't leave again. I could use a time-turner, go back and contact you after I left. Would that make anything better, Harry? Here we are, can we both get over it all? Try to be friends again? Just work slowly?" She looked up at Harry, her eyes half-determined and half scared.
He nodded slowly, and said,
"I need some time to think about this, is that okay?"
Hermione nodded, as he continued.
"I think I'll take Amy for a walk. I'll be back pretty soon." At the word `walk' the big dog came bounding in and started jumping up and down followed by Aidan.
"Can I go with, Mom? Please?" Hermione smiled at him.
"Sure Aidan, have fun." Harry put Amy on her leash and they all trooped out of the kitchen and out the front door. Hermione sighed and leaned back in her chair.
"This is going to be harder than I thought."
************
A few hours later Harry was teaching Aidan wizarding chess in the living room. Hermione had gone back to her room with a headache.
For a while she had read, but thoughts plagued her head, so reading just made her headache all the more worse.
"I wonder if Harry has any migraine potion in stock." She groaned, standing up from her bed and walking over to a phone on her dresser. She picked it up and dialed numbers before sitting down in a chair and waiting as it rang. A child's voice came on saying,
"Weasley Residence! How may I help you?"
Hermione bit her lip before saying in a quiet voice, "Is your Mum there?"
The young girl answered "Not at the moment, would you like to leave a message?" Hermione thought for a second, before she declined the offer, said goodbye, and hung up the phone, sighing.
God, when am I ever going to be able to be back?
She got up to go ask Harry if he had any migraine potions, and smiled while looking into the living room. Harry was smiling at Aidan as he jumped every time one of the chess pieces demolished another.
"How do they do that?" Aidan asked exasperatingly.
"My little secret, Aid."
Hermione smiled larger, Aidan was taking to Harry faster than he had ever taken to a stranger. He hadn't been like this with a man since his father! She walked in as Harry looked up, and immediately avoided his eyes, ruffling Aidan's hair and observing how the chess game was going as she asked Harry if he had migraine potions.
"I'm winning, Mommy! And Harry won't tell me how the chess pieces do that!" Hermione laughed and Harry replied,
"There should be one in the kitchen cabinet, Hermione. And I told you, Aidan, it's my secret!" Hermione nodded with her lips pursed, still not able to look into Harry's eyes. She brushed back Aidan's hair.
"I'll tell you the secret, Aid." She said, bending down and whispering in his ear, "It's magic."
Aidan looked up at her confusedly.
"How am I supposed to believe in magic if I've never seen it happen?"
Harry looked at Hermione questionably and she nodded silently while Harry took out his wand and, with a swish and flick, said `wingardium leviosa' towards a book lying on a table. It floated up into the air and Aidan jumped with wide eyes. Hermione smirked at him and said,
"Well, Aidan, now you've seen it!"
Harry laughed and gestured with his wand as the book floated down, Aidan still staring at it with his mouth and eyes wide open. Hermione excused herself and left into the kitchen to get her migraine potion. She reached into the potion cupboard and looked for a vial labeled `migraine'. Finding it, she drank it in one gulp as the label instructed, and winced at the taste.
Why do potions have to taste so terrible?
She smiled as the potion worked its magic and the terrible headache went away. There were still a million thoughts whirling around in her head though. It just didn't ache from it anymore.
Hermione started walking to her room, pausing to look into the living room, where Harry, alone, was sitting on the couch reading some quidditch book. She walked in and Harry put his book down, straightening his glasses and saying,
"Aidan's outside with Amy, is that okay?"
Hermione nodded and moved to sit down on a chair by the couch.
"Listen Hermione, I know I was really angry with you earlier. I'm sure it's hard to be back and I'm sure I just made it all worse. This will be awkward with us for a while, and me being mad won't make it any better. If we could just forget about it?"
Hermione shook her head and sighed, turning her head to face Harry's and looking into his eyes for a second before turning it away.
"Harry, I don't blame you for being mad. I expected you would be mad, and all of what you said was true. We don't have to forget about it. I'd rather like us to forget about something else."
Harry looked at her questionably.
"I just wish we could forget that there was awkwardness between us. I know I shouldn't expect it to be all right again, but I'm selfish, and I want it to be. I'm not saying we have to be best friends or anything. I just want to be able to talk to you without awkwardness."
Harry smiled slightly and said, "It's done. All of the awkwardness is gone."
Hermione laughed slightly, knowing that it really wasn't.
"So…Harry, I've told you about my life, time to tell me about yours!"
They were interrupted by a knock on the door.
"You get the door, I'll start tea." Hermione said, leaving into the kitchen as Harry got up to answer the door. Hermione quickly filled a teapot up with water and breathed shakily, scared of who was at the door. What if it's Ron? Or Molly? Oh, God. She bit her lip and continued making the tea, not able to hear anything until Harry yelled out,
"Hermione, come in here for a moment! I'd like you to meet someone!"
Hermione furrowed her brows, wondering who it could be. She left the water in the teapot and went into the living room, seeing a woman with short brown hair and bright hazel eyes, smiling at Hermione nervously.
"Hermione, this is Isabel White. My girlfriend."
A/N: And that's the end of the chapter! Hehe, I know you're going to hate me…some people just can't help it! There needs to be cliffie somewhere in the story! (Or…ya know…a few…) hehe, don't hate me! I'll update with more ASAP. Review, please!
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