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The Mistakes I Made by kaoticcutie
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The Mistakes I Made

kaoticcutie

Chapter One : Best Mates

My seventh year. That is when it all started. I began distancing myself from my friends, not on purpose but for the fact that I was certain I was going to die and I didn't want to put my loved ones through that. Ron didn't notice at first, but Hermione, she approached me after I spent the day skillfully avoiding her.

"Harry? Harry, what's wrong?" she asked me with concern shining in her beautiful brown eyes.

I just shrugged my shoulders and kept walking towards the entrance the common room. Upon reaching the portrait of the fat lady I murmured the password, "Glumbumble" and walked into the common room, keeping my head down and ignoring my housemates who were beginning to get equally worried.

Hermione followed me up the stairs towards the dorms. I was about to open my door when she grabbed my arm and would not let me go.

"Harry Potter! Tell me what is going on right now!"

She had anger in her voice now. It was then I realized I should give her some sort of explanation so she didn't think she had done something to upset me.

I turned and my eyes fell on her face, her eyes searching mine trying so hard to read my emotions, the crease she gets in her forehead when she is worried was there and her mouth, bloody hell, it was open slightly and I could hear her breath coming out in short gasps, obviously trying to keep up with me had winded her slightly.

Her hand stayed on my left arm as I put hands on her shoulders.

"Hermione it is nothing you did, I just need to be alone right now." And with that said, I removed my hands from her and her hand dropped from my arm. I reached behind me and opened the door to my dormitory, our eyes never leaving each other's until I shut the door.

I felt terrible for what I had just done. I have never kept my friends, least of all Hermione, out of my life before. I always wanted them there, but when it came down to losing them, I would do anything to stop that happening, again. I had lost Sirius because I had become to close to him. Now of course Ron and Hermione always tell me that it wasn't because of that, but he did come to the Department of Mysteries to save my life. If Voldemort could use Sirius against me, who's to say he cant use Ron or Hermione against me as well?

I walked over to my four poster bed and got in closing the curtains, knowing very well that Ron would be up to talk to me soon, on Hermiones' insistence of course. I lay in bed contemplating what I should do and how I was going to avoid my best friends for the rest of the year. As it dawned on me that that was never going to happen, I heard the dorm door open and Ron's voice float into the room, along with Deans' and Seamus'. I could hear them talking in hushed voices, but I couldn't make out what they were saying, I assumed they were talking about me. Then again I heard the door open, and close, and I suddenly knew I was alone in the room with just Ron.

"Ok mate, come on out and tell me why you're being such a prat to everyone." I chuckled to myself, my suspicions had been confirmed.

I tried to ignore him, I knew it would make him upset but I always got such a thrill out of seeing him that way. I heard him making his way over, then one of the curtains on my bed was pulled away revealing my best friend. He stood there with his red hair hanging in his green eyes, staring at me with concern etched across his face.

It was at this point that I knew I needed to talk to someone. Ron did not get concerned for no reason.

"Ron, its just hard to discuss…" I started out lamely.

He stood there waiting for me to continue. I knew there was no getting out of it.

"I have to fight Voldemort soon…" Ron shuddered when I spoke his name. I cracked a sympathetic smile, "Sorry mate" and went on.

"I've been thinking a lot about it, and I keep going back to what happened to Sirius. If Voldemort hadn't shown me that vision of him being locked in the Department of Mysteries, I never would have gone there, and Sirius would never have died. Its all my fault, and I just couldn't bear it if I were to lose you or Hermione."

Ron stared at me dumbfounded. He seemed to contemplate something for awhile then he took a large breath and let it out quickly. I could tell he needed to say something to me, whether he would was another story.

"You know Harry…" he finally began. "…Hermione and I love you, and we would do anything for you. No matter how long this thing with V-vol-…" he stuttered, stopped then tried again. "Voldemort goes on, we want to be there for you, and we will be. Nothing you can do is going to stop that. That's what best mates are for, is it not?"

Ron had just said possibly the kindest thing he had ever said to me, and there were no witnesses! I smiled at him, nodding my head in thanks. Ron and Hermione had spoken their minds, there was nothing I could do about it. My friends were with me until the end.

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