A/N: I know not what to say! Sorry this has taken so long. Study and all… But you don't want to know!
DIDCLAIMER: Ahem, Ahem: This is to certify, in the presence of all who are of sound body and mind that IamHermione is not JK Rowling's preferred pseudonym. Oh come on, there's got to be someone of sound body and mind out there, right? Right!?!
And so the journey begins…
Hermione awoke in the wee hours of the morning to a scratching sound. She realised that she was alone in Harry's single bed when she rolled slightly over with an arm stretched out and fell to the floor with a small scream and an unceremonial thump.
She opened her eyes with a grunt and saw that the room was lowly illuminated by the streetlamp outside, casting a dull orange glow onto everything. The scratching sound was still grating on her and she turned her head to see where it was coming from.
She saw Harry standing very close to the wall and writing something on it with a brownish paint. He had taken the mirror and all his posters off it, so that it was left as a sort of blank canvas.
Hermione couldn't quite make out what was written on it, so she walked over to turn on the lights. As the room lit up, she came to a disturbing conclusion. Harry was writing on the magnolia walls with his own blood.
Hermione was appalled. Really disgusted. Yes, a little turned on, but mostly horrified.
'Harry, what the fuck?' was all she could gasp out.
Harry looked around to her, a small yet manic smile on his face. There was a small cut in the crook of his arm, which he was using as the medium for his prose on the wall. Two fingers on his right hand were covered in blood.
Hermione's mouth was still opening and closing without sound. Harry was perplexed.
'What, would you rather I use a paintbrush?' he enquired confusedly. 'Cause I thought that'd actually be weirder'.
'…'
'Hermione, what-?'
'Harry', Hermione uttered in a strangled half-whisper, 'What are you doing to the wall?'
Harry smiled suddenly, shocking Hermione. He took his wand and put the tip of it to the cut on his arm, closing the wound, and scourgified the blood on his body, which was naked still.
He held his hand out to Hermione.
'Behold my genius!' he announced grandly, gesturing to the wall.
'Behold your BLOOD, Harry!' Hermione almost screamed hysterically.
Harry looked at Hermione strangely, then dragged her slightly to him so she was standing right in from of his work of macabre art.
She saw now that it was a family tree. Harry's family tree, but inverted. His name was at the top, and from that came two lines leading to the names 'James Potter' and 'Lily Evans'.
He looked at Hermione and saw and expression on her face that he had never seen before. She was struggling to comprehend.
'Hermione', he asked after a second, 'why are we looking at my mum's family anyway? I mean, wouldn't it be more likely that Godric's Hollow was passed through the Potter line? Like, my mum was a muggle, after all.'
'True', Hermione replied, still fixated on the wall. 'But if your mum really would have rather pluck out her own eyes than live in a country that she didn't like very much, then what do you think are the chances of her shagging and marrying a man who lived in that country?'
'Obliviate me!' Harry shouted suddenly.
'Excuse me?'
'Obliviate Obliviate!' he was screaming now, pointing his own wand at his head. Hermione snatched it from his grasp.
Harry was wringing his hands and hopping slightly up and down, whimpering.
Hermione slapped him hard across the cheek. Harry was still.
'Thanks', he mumbled. 'Needed that. Don't mention my mum and dad… doing… you know… again, OK?'
'Yeah, whatever'. She was staring at the wall again, and in an effort to get Harry's attention again asked, 'So, explain again why I woke up to find you smearing your own blood on the wall?'
'Right', he cleared his throat gruffly. 'Well, I was pissed off that Dumbledore expected us to search two countries for one house that I really couldn't give a rat's arse about, so I decided to narrow down the search'.
Hermione looked extremely put out. 'But I already narrowed down the search', she whined.
'Yeah, well', said Harry tactlessly, 'It's still a big area'.
Hermione pouted.
'So', said Harry, 'I'm going to try this spell. I read about it somewhere'.
Hermione stomped her foot. 'Why are you stealing my thunder?' she whinged.
'Huh? Get your wand'.
Hermione grabbed her wand from Harry's bedside locker, pulling on one of his T-shirts before joining him beside the wall.
Harry pointed his wand at his mother's name and told Hermione to do likewise.
'You know the geography, yeah?' he asked.
'Of course', she said defensively.
Harry said the words 'locatus abodus'. The semi-congealed blood began to move in trickles down the wall from Lily's name.
'Concentrate on the geography if you recognise it', he said to Hermione.
Then the revolting tendrils of blood began to weave themselves down the wall, intertwining here and there and leaving dark read trails. They soon produced a picture recognisable as a map.
Hermione lowered her wand.
'That was disgusting', she said shortly.
'Yeah, it was, wasn't it', agreed Harry.
'Anyway', stated Hermione. 'It's a map of the West Coast of Ireland. Why doesn't it say where the house is?'
'Fidilius Charm', said Harry.
'Ooooh'.
'So no point in going to Wales, then?' asked Harry innocently.
'Nnooo', said Hermione hesitantly.
'Do we need to make Professor Dumble-moron privy to that information?'
Hermione smiled wickedly, suddenly copping on.
'No, I don't suppose we do'.
'Good', said Harry authoritatively. 'Be just us then'.
'Yes, I suppose it will'.
Now Harry's arms were wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer.
'And it would be a terrible waste of money to pay for two hotel rooms, don't you think?'
Hermione snorted loudly.
'Hotel rooms?' she laughed. 'You are going to be in for one rude awakening, Harry'.
'Wha-?'
But she cut him off by pressing her lips to his.
She broke away seconds later.
'So, should we scourgify the wall?'
'Nah', replied Harry. 'I reckon it'll freak the Durselys out no end'.
'Oooh you're eeevil', said Hermione in a horribly exaggerated Austin Powers accent.
Harry grabbed her and pulled her closer again.
'Eeeevil, eh', he growled playfully. 'Are we talking Voldemort evil or Tellytubbies evil?'
Hermione's hands slid down his chest, inching down lower as she purred, 'Oh, most definitely Voldemort evil'.
'Right answer', Harry scratched out as Hermione's hands ghosted over his growing erection.
'Mmmm', moaned Hermione as Harry sucked on a spot just between her neck and her shoulder. 'And you're far sexier than the Tellytubbies', she bit down on her lip hard to contain a loud moan. 'Except maybe Dipsy. I do find his green colour and sexual ambiguity a real turn-on'.
'Oh, is that the case', growled Harry as he lifted her off her feet. 'We'll just see how evil I can be'.
He walked to his bed as threw her down on it hard. She had no time to speak before he was on top of her and his lips were on hers again. His hand was inching up her inside thigh, agonisingly slowly. When Hermione moved downwards to feel his hand further up, he pulled away with a wicked grin against her lips. She gasped, seeing what he was up to.
She smiled with him. 'I see your game', she said breathlessly as Harry kissed his way past her breasts and down her stomach. 'So, what's it going to take?'
Harry raised his head, still grinning.
'What's it going to take for what?' he asked innocently.
'To get you to shag me in the foreseeable future'.
He pulled himself up till he was level with her and propped his head on his elbow. With his other hand, he drew shapes lightly on Hermione's stomach. He was stark naked and unashamedly so, with his cock pressed against Hermione's hip, so hard, so big and so urgent that Hermione marveled at and cursed his will power.
'Right', he said slowly. 'This is what it will take'
He paused and Hermione nodded feverishly for him to continue. Fast.
'You have a Welsh phrase book, yeah?'
'Mmmmm'. Her head was thrown back on her pillows.
'I want us to give it to Dumbledore when we sent him on a mad goose chase to the Valleys. But not before we've made some changes.'
Hermione caught his drift.
'God, Harry, is that all? I thought you'd want me to give you a lap dance or something. But seeing as I'm pissed off with Professor crack-addict Dumbledore too, then I agreeeeee… Oooh yessss'.
Harry's hand had finally found it's destination, and his lips attached themselves to her neck as he moved to be on top of her. Her hands came around his shoulders and her nails dug into his skin as he replaced his hand with his throbbing cock.
He plunged into her as she pulled his mouth to hers again. Grabbing her wand, she hastily muttered a silencing charm, numbly recollecting earlier failures to do so.
Her wand fell from her hand as Harry continued to slide in and out of her with fluid movements, each time bringing them closer to the brink of abandon. She heard herself moan his name loudly and wantonly as her orgasm shook her body, prolonged by Harry's continuing thrusts.
He came soon after her, groaning her name into her ear, causing her to shudder again with sensual overload.
Negotiating their way into a comfortable sleeping position, which was basically Hermione atop Harry, they drifted in to exhausted sleep, with Hermione's last words being:
'I take it all back. You are definitely sexier than Dipsy.'
A/N: A few notes. Tellytubbies remarks made in good humour! No court action please!
Please review this and tell me what you think.
I'm sorry again that this took so long to update- And I do promise that this fic will be finished, so stick with it if you're still interested! The next chapter won't be for a while but it will be posted, never fear.
I think that's all…
Thanks to all reviewers so far. Thanks to ladyofslytherin for her input into the Welsh that will probably play a part soon!
I would love it if you'd take the time to review! I'll try to reply to any questions and would love suggestions for the story.
Cheers, and REVIEW!