TITLE: Paalam
AUTHOR: Lily Cassandra G. Potter
AUTHOR E-MAIL: sensei_2569@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: Angst/Drama
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: All the books just to be safe.
SUMMARY: Companion piece to "A Fallen Tear", also one-shot. I suggest that you read that first before this.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
A/N:
Many people thought that "A Fallen Tear" was rather confusing so I wrote another piece but in Ron's POV. Anyway, thank you for reviewing!
Waaah! Sorry for the one-liners last time and I decided to `improve' my way of writing so just forgive me if you find my stories badly written.
Oh, and expect some major OoC here…!
Hehe… if you find the title quite familiar or strange, well… usually, people use the word, `adieu' to say goodbye. Eh, I want to be unique so I used a very uncommon word for goodbye but nevertheless, it means `farewell' in our national language. So, just bear with me. The word is `paalam', by the way.
I hope that you would enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Love yah all,
LiLy
P.S. I'm not that good at writing Ron so sorry again to Ron lovers out there!!
This might be also quite confusing but it will clear up some questions.
Uhm, just for this fic, please assume that Ron knows other languages besides English, ok?
Legend:
Italic - The incident, what happened next, the past… etc.
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I sort of expected that this would happen. The murder. The revenge.
Yes, they were my best friends but since they became an item, it seemed that something has changed. I was the third wheel, as many would say. But without me, the Golden Trio wouldn't be complete. Without me, they would be dead now. But thanks to my brilliant strategies and tactics, they managed to escape death. Without me, there would only be the Famous Duo.
And without me… maybe, Hermione would still be alive and the two of them wouldn't suffer anymore.
You heard right. Without me… she would still be alive.
I killed her.
These simple words were confirmed by my expression at the place where she was murdered… without remorse.
***
At the Shrieking Shack,
The door creaked loudly as Hermione entered the room cautiously.
"Ron?"
I crept toward her silently. Upon seeing me, Hermione beamed and ran toward me with outstretched arms to give me a big hug.
"Ron!! It's been almost a year since we last met! God, you've changed so much! You're so tall…! Harry and I were very worried about you… Why were you not replying to our letters? God, I missed you so much… I missed your appetite, your cute freckles and your red hair! But what's with this place? Why did you agree on meeting me here? I thought-"
***
She was talking so fast while hugging me when I made the first move.
***
Her expectant smile full of trust, I thought that pity might take over my mind and ruin my plan.
But those thoughts soon vanished as soon as I unsheathed a dagger behind her, just before she let go of me from the hug.
"…But what's with this place? Why did you agree on meeting me here? I thought-"
3...2...1...
***
I stabbed her from the back.
Not only once. Not even twice.
The knife pierced through her body again and again until she collapsed. She had no time to fight back.
***
Her expression instantly changed from happiness and curiosity to shock.
She uttered no sound at all.
***
The disbelieving gaze followed the startled look in her eyes.
I thought that that image would haunt me for days.
I was wrong.
The images kept coming back to my mind, never leaving me.
***
It was then that I heard the first sound she made as I slowly laid her bloody form down the cold floor.
"Ron… Why?"
I replied to her faint question with a very cold voice I never knew I had.
"You will never understand why, mudblood."
She wasted her last breaths with seven words, all the while coughing blood.
"Why… me, Ron…? You… were my… brother…"
With that, she was gone.
***
The guilt never came to me after the murder. Only pride and sadness. I felt pride, because I just killed the most brilliant witch in London. Sadness came later on after the incident. She was my best friend after all.
***
Harry came sooner than I expected. It was as if he had a connection with Hermione which others rarely had.
He burst through the door just as she closed her eyes. He knew it was too late. He walked cautiously toward her dead form, barely noticing me. I just stared at him, unable to say anything.
I watched him kneel down next to his beloved, and whisper something in her ear. He continued murmuring as if waking Hermione from a deep sleep.
I thought he had gone crazy. But then, as he continued, I finally noticed that silent tears were flowing down his face. He cradled her bloody form like it was something so fragile and breakable.
It was then that I realized that Harry's mumblings were growing louder. He was getting rather desperate now.
"Hermione, I know you could still hear me. You cannot die… You can't! You went through experiences worse than this. We were happy, right? How about the dream you wanted to come true? You wanted to travel around the world, right? `MIONE! You can't just lie there and pretend that you're dead! Come on, it's not funny, `Mione… It's not… Wake up! … Y-y-you… w-wake u-up…! "
At last, his tear-streaked face looked up.
I thought that I practically heard his heart shatter into pieces of glass. But as I stared coldly at his oh-so-beautiful green eyes, I thought I saw his past.
The small, skinny, abused Harry Potter. The same Harry we met when we were in first year.
I felt pity and regretted breaking down my barriers. But I didn't give up. I wanted to clear this once and for all.
"I did it, Harry."
***
Of course, being his best friend for seven years didn't make him believe me.
But then, I remembered how his eyes widened so suddenly and how his breaths quickened. He must've realized that I wasn't lying.
***
Before he could do anything to me, Aurors started to apparate everywhere.
Immediately, they grabbed my wrists and with a flick of their wands, anti-spell handcuffs were conjured and next thing I knew, my hands were already chained together and I was on my way to Elioxier.
***
I didn't know what happened since then.
All I know was that there would be no trial because all the evidences were pointing to only one person.
Me.
Well, I don't blame them. Anyway, I don't care what would happen to me just as long as I've accomplished my goal.
***
It has already been two or three weeks since I've done the crime. And Harry is not yet here.
Strange.
Everyday, I expect him to just burst through the cell door and hex me to the next millennium. I know that he would do anything to avenge his beloved's death. I know him too much to know what he'll do next.
But there's one thing that I still don't know.
That is, if he'll ask me why I killed her.
Many people do wonder why I took the life out of Hermione Jane Granger, my best friend and adopted little sister. I didn't bother to answer them.
There's only one answer to that and I have no plan to reveal it to other people besides Harry.
Nevertheless, it was the cause of all these happenings. And my answer was reserved only to him and no other.
But I also know that Harry is the type of guy who acts first before thinking. So maybe I wouldn't be able to tell him why, after all.
Oh, speaking of the devil, here he is.
***
He entered the room and quickly scanned the interiors.
It was like his obvious rage was intensified more because of something in the room.
Finally his eyes settled on the single person that he loathed more than Voldemort in his whole life.
Ronald Bilius Weasley.
***
Grand entrance, huh? Minus the banging of the door and screaming at the top of his lungs.
But today, I noticed that something was different.
Although I've already expected his arrival, something has definitely changed. He seemed so… so empty. All I could see in his eyes was only one emotion. Rage.
But he was not the only person in the cell who felt the same thing. Why, I'm also mad at him for everything!
Didn't I tell you yet why I did it? Why I killed her?
Come closer… and you might see why.
***
His footsteps were driving me crazy. He was walking closer and I couldn't do anything but to move further away from him.
Harry was acting so empty and enraged that I couldn't help but feel something I've never felt since the last two years when we faced Voldemort.
Fear.
I felt myself shaking as he neared me. His actions were yelling out his evil thoughts. And that smile…
I didn't realize that I was trembling so much until I heard my own teeth chattering to the coldness of Harry's voice.
My own anger disappeared as he said the nine words, which confirmed my second greatest fear (my first was spiders), "Don't worry, Ronniekins. I'll make it quick and painless…"
I moved away and heard myself moan in fear as he smirked wider with that unmistakable maniacal glint in his eyes.
But then, just as he lifted his wand high to curse me to the next century, he froze. I thought that time had stopped.
His wand dropped as I watched…and felt the next few seconds in awe. Watched, because I saw Harry suddenly dropping his wand and broke down. He stared at the space in front of him in shock as if he experienced something strange.
But soon enough, I also felt that something was wrong.
Felt, because I was suddenly shivering from cold, not from the fear I was undergoing a while ago but a strange feeling which consumed my very whole being including my guts.
Seconds later, the coldness was replaced by a familiar warmth.
A too familiar feeling overwhelmed my senses.
I barely heard myself gasp in horror when everything around me had changed.
Everything swirled around me into a blur of colors. Images appeared before me and it seemed… it seemed that they were my memories.
Incredibly enough, these memories were strangely centered to a certain someone who now lives in our past.
Hermione.
***
"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one," she said. She had a bossy sort of voice, lots of bushy brown hair, and rather large front teeth.
***
She was lying down on a bed at the hospital wing, looking as though she was frozen alive. She looked so fragile and delicate that it was rather hard for them to realize that she wasn't dead, aside from the fact that her eyes were widely open and her hand petrified in air.
***
A twig snapped and she was becoming more and more worried for Harry. When Buckbeak finally bowed, he reached out his hand and shakily touched the creature. The hippogriff made a jerking movement at him and she clutched my hand out of worry.
***
"You two are so stupid!" she shouted, stamping her foot on the ground, tears splashing down her front. Then, before either of them could stop her, she had given both of them a hug and dashed away, now positively howling.
***
"And that perfume is really unusual, Ron."
***
"I... I don't know how to say this but I think that we must end this now. Our relationship is going nowhere. This is so… so wrong, Ron. I know that you feel too. We can't just continue acting like this when Harry needs us so badly! The war is not yet even over and we've already left him alone. We have to end this, for once and for all."
***
"She's in coma," The healer at St. Mungo's told The Order.
When we entered the ward, we first saw the lone bed that was situated near the large window. Harry and I cautiously neared her with tears starting to form in our eyes. "She has very little chance to live," the healer had told us earlier that day.
***
She pranced around the room, acting like a child on Christmas Eve. She was wearing a very large grin and danced all night long with everyone. It was only minutes later when she announced to all of us the good news.
"You can't believe what just happened last week! Harry said that we must keep it a secret, but I can't hold it any longer… Well… We're engaged!"
***
She walked swiftly towards me, ignoring the other people who wanted my autograph. She made her way through the crowd, all the while elbowing people who got in her way. When she finally reached me, she beamed and hugged me so tight and almost shouted for everyone to hear, "This is my best friend! He was the one who made our team win! This is a true Weasley, I say. Sing to him, Weasley is our King!"
She was so proud of me that I felt my whole body redden.
***
"You're leaving?" she asked.
"But, where will you live? For how long? Did your parents permit you to do this? I'm so worried about you, Ron. I think that you're slowly drifting away from us. We are your best friends…"
***
There was a blur of colors in every change of a memory. It was like watching a very fast paced movie that brings back horrors and joy of the past.
I unconsciously wished that this were only a dream… a nightmare that would be gone once I wake up. I hoped that they would be all gone, vanished from my memories forever.
And finally, it settled as my very last image of her took place just before my eyes.
***
She wasted her last breaths with eight words, all the while coughing blood.
"Why… me, Ron…? You… were-like- my… brother…"
And then, she was gone.
***
It was then that I realized my greatest mistake I've made in my whole life.
Killing her.
When I thought that guilt and regret would never take place, I was wrong. Something changed inside of me and I thought that it was that which made my whole being transform and return to the old Ronald Weasley.
I thought it was my heart.
And for once, I was right.
A tear fell, and thankfully, the last memory disappeared.
More tears followed the first as regret took over me. I dropped my head down and mourned.
For the first time since she died, I cried. I cried for her, for Harry… and for us. I was caught in my own sad, little world as minutes (or was it hours?) passed. I was brought down to earth when I felt a strange feeling once again.
My chin was slowly lifted up by some gentle force and suddenly, I was staring at the same soft, brown eyes which belonged to a certain dead best friend.
Overwhelmed with shock, I almost screamed but stopped when she sadly smiled and placed her index finger in my lips to shut me up.
I couldn't help but notice how warm her touch was.
I watched in astonishment when she caressed my face lightly and placed a soft kiss in my forehead. I closed my eyes, savoring the lingering presence of her lips on my skin.
I opened them again when her presence suddenly vanished just to find her standing before me with the same sad smile gracing upon her lips.
She stepped away from me and before slowly dissolving into thin air, she finally spoke, and said these words, so soft and true, "Farewell, Ron."
I started to whimper when she disappeared, wishing her to appear again and to tell her to come back. Tears started to leak from my eyes when guilt and grief conquered my heart and soul.
There was only one explanation to her actions.
Hermione Jane Granger just forgave Ronald Bilius Weasley even from beyond the grave.
It was all so simple, yet I was so sure about my new epiphany that I cried even more. She still forgave me even when I took her from her beloved.
Her beloved.
I somehow wondered if Hermione stopped him from doing torturous deeds on me. I looked around, realizing that this might not be over yet and Harry could still kill me even though his first attempt failed.
I presumed that it was she who brought an end to his plans.
Finally, my gaze settled upon him, my feeling of fear, returning to my senses. Once again, the particular emotion vanished as I heard him whisper,
"'Mione, I'm so sorry… I can't control it. I just have to do it! I don't want to kill anyone again; I just love you so much that I want revenge! Hermione… I'm so sorry…"
The night continued and silence descended upon the two of us again. He was leaning against the wall of my cell, dazed and with tears flowing through his face. The light of the moon reflected the silver-white liquid as I stared at him, now fully understanding his pain.
But now, for the first time, I thought of what could possibly happen to me. Will I just rot here and die just like other prisoners? For once, I feared for my fate… for my life. Void of friends and family, I was alone. I pushed away the lone thought, which says that it was my own choice why I ended up like this.
I tried to resist the moan that I've been trying so hard to prevent but I failed. I was like a baby, moaning and whimpering in fear and confusion. The tears kept coming and I didn't know what was happening until Harry finally stood up and looked at me for the last time.
He took a few steps towards the door, and opened it.
Seconds later, he was gone.
I suppose that he'll never visit my cell again. Never.
And as tears continue to flow from my eyes, I realized that there was one fact that I couldn't forget.
For today, I've learned one of the world's greatest lessons.
Forgiveness.
Paalam, my friends and maybe… just maybe, I could find the peace I've been searching for in my life.
***
-------------END!!
A/N:
Okay, okay… I know that many of you are still wondering why Ron killed her and such but it's already up to your imaginations why…
Hehe… hope that none of you will flame me for this.
By the way, I just made up Elioxier. Since dementors were already out of control, the Ministry of Magic thought of building a fortress in which prisoners will be taken. Ancient spells, wards and protections were cast on the fortress' wall so that detainees would not escape.
Also, I thought that some of you might think that Ron sounds so wise here… eh, just bear with me `cos I really don't know how to write him in Angsty fics.
Another thing, this is post Hogwarts and our lovely couple were already dating when this happened.
Anyway, you know the memories Ron has seen at the story, well… I've changed some of them to look as if it was from Ron's POV. Sorry also for the repetition of some occurrences.
And last, I deliberately didn't write the reason why Ron killed Hermione because… er… well… uhm… just flame me because I won't write it whatever you do. Only, if you…
Hehe…
Don't forget to review!!
Love yah all,
LiLy
[authOr'ssister's note: waaaa. I want to know what's Ron's motive for killing Hermione but my sis won't tell me. Argh. *poking her to death to tell me what happens next* GB everyone and peace oUt! \/(!_!)\/ [Btw, I just made this smiley up... peace.]]
[LiLy: hey! I won't tell anyone `cos… er… It's just that I won't! *ducks and runs for cover to avoid tomatoes thrown by the readers* waah!!]
Oh, by the way… in the story, I wrote, "Come closer… and you might see why."
Wahaha! There is the word `might'! So you must've expected that you won't know the answer! Harhar. *faints `cos her sister has thrown her copy of OoTP at her head*]
[authOr's sister's note: ha! That serves you right! You deserve that for not telling us why Ron killed Hermy! And that, our dear readers, is the cue for me to say, "THE END."]
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