Disclaimer: OK, you know the drill. I own nothing except a couple bit characters. JKR owns Harry Potter and Co., Fred Saberhagen owns the Swords.
A/N: For everyone who wanted more romance, things start to pick up in that sector…Even though this chapter is really slow.
CHAPTER FOUR: HERMIONE'S PROBLEM
A week passed after Pettigrew's attempted kidnapping. There was little doubt that he had to face his master's wrath. Harry had speculated as to whether Pettigrew had even told Voldemort that he possessed Sightblinder. In either event, Hermione was enjoying the use of her Sword. She was able to use it to find information in the library, as long as she did it late at night or very early in the morning when nobody else was around. As she stated to Ron when he questioned her use of it, when it could obviously go to a less, in his words, mundane use, "Well, like you said, it is called the Sword of Wisdom. Why not use it to gain some?"
So it was that she sat in the library one afternoon, poring over some books she had discovered earlier that same day. There were books on more subjects than she had ever dreamed there could be in the Hogwarts library, and more information than one person could ever hope to go through in a lifetime. She was so engrossed in her reading that she didn't notice a certain red-headed girl sit down before her.
Ginny coughed. "Er, hello, Hermione."
Hermione started. She set down her book. "Oh, hello Ginny. What brings you here?"
Ginny's eyes traveled over the mountain of books before Hermione. "Well, I know you read a lot, everyone knows that, but, you are spending an inordinate amount of time in here, even for you. Care to enlighten me?"
Hermione pursed her lips and searched for a good excuse. She couldn't tell Ginny about the Swords. Dumbledore had been explicit about that. No one was to know. "If it's about the Swords…" started Ginny, before Hermione cut her off.
"What?" she shrieked, eyes widening. A few people looked at her, and Madame Pince, the librarian, glared at her. She lowered her voice. "How do you know about that? No one is supposed to."
Ginny smiled wanly. "Ron has a big mouth, you know. I overheard him talking about it to Harry a few nights ago when they thought everyone was asleep. I was having trouble sleeping, so I was going to come down to the common room. Very interesting, these Swords."
Hermione motioned for her to keep it down. "Don't start with that," she hissed. That was all she needed, for everyone in the school to know about the Swords. Especially the Slytherins, who weren't all necessarily evil, but were all ambitious. There was no telling what they would do to try and possess power of the magnitude granted by a Sword.
Ginny sighed, but nodded. "Then, Hermione, you didn't answer my first question. Why are you here so much?"
Hermione just stared at her for a moment. Did she dare tell even Ginny the truth of the matter? This was not exactly something that one went about blabbing, especially when the potential negative consequences could be so high. But if she couldn't trust Ginny with this, then she could trust no one.
Hermione sighed and stood. "Come on, let's go somewhere a little more private." Ginny helped her gather some of the books and they headed down for the ground around the lake. Though there were many people around there, too, the lake was thankfully big enough that it was easy to find a secluded spot where no one would interrupt them.
Hermione sat down and stared across the lake, thinking about the past few years. Her life had changed so much when she arrived at Hogwarts. She had always been the "smart girl," and had been despised for it. The children at her old school had picked on her. She hadn't had any friends, except for a chubby boy who reminded her of Neville. She had thought all that would change when she arrived at Hogwarts, that the people there would appreciate her intelligence. But all she had found was famous Harry Potter and his sidekick Ron, who could do whatever they pleased and get away with it. They were the talk of the school with their antics, while all of her amazing academic achievements only brought her more grief here. This was something that she had secretly heard Terry Boot in Ravenclaw complaining about, that the "flashy, overbearing Gryffindors" get all the credit while Ravenclaws got none. Though Harry hadn't struck her as the arrogant, snobbish boy she had pictured (that role was filled by Draco Malfoy), he was very prideful. Ron had been just plain rude. But…Harry had saved her life. She knew it had been Harry's idea to go after her. It had amazed her that anyone, especially Harry Potter and Ron Weasley would've gone out of their way to save her, putting themselves in great danger at the same time.
She had realized after the Yule Ball in fourth year that Ron had feelings for her, but she just hadn't felt the same way. She adored Ron as a friend, but she didn't feel he was right for her, something that their ensuing relationship in fifth year had proven. Despite that internal caution, it hadn't prepared her for the terrible way she had felt after their breakup. She thought that she had been too hard on him, hadn't given him the chance he deserved. But once again, Harry had been her savior, lifting her out of the torrent of misery she had inflicted on herself.
"Hermione? You had a faraway look in your eyes. Are you OK?" Ginny's voice brought Hermione back to the present. She turned to Ginny slowly.
"Yes, yes, I'm fine. I was just thinking. About my life and all." She took a deep breath. "Ginny…has anyone ever told you what it's like to be in love?"
Ginny stared back at her. "Is that a rhetorical question or do you want an answer?"
Hermione's eyes turned down for a moment. "Just tell me, please."
Ginny studied her for a moment. She could see the streams of emotion flooding through Hermione right now. "Well…not exactly. I asked my mum, a few years back, after second year. And she said…" Her voice drifted off for a moment, remembering that day, when she realized she didn't love Harry Potter. "She said, you'll know when you're in love. Because it's something you can't describe. But it'll be something so deep, so amazingly intense, that you'll know. Love is something you have to wait to feel." Hermione's eyes started to water. So that was it then. That was it. She burst into tears. Ginny, shocked, reached over and put an arm around her. "Hermione? What's wrong, what's the matter?"
Hermione shook her head. "This is it. This is what I was afraid of. That is was true. That I, I…loved him." She cascaded into more tears.
Ginny was unsure what to say. "Er, loved who?"
Hermione choked back more sobs. She wasn't sure when it happened. But after all Harry had done for her over the past years…He had saved her life more times than anyone should have to be saved. Even in the Second Task of the Triwizard Tournament, he had tried to save her, though he didn't need to. And he had shown Krum how to do so. She had never seen him as "famous Harry Potter," save for when she first met him. She had always seen who he was inside, and now, she knew in her heart that Ginny's words rang true. You would know. And she knew. "Harry. I love Harry. And I don't want to. For the life of me, I don't want to."
Now Ginny really didn't know what to do. This was not good, to say the least. Hermione had a major problem. "Well, er, why not? I mean, he's…"
"He's my friend!" Hermione moaned, "My best friend. How am I supposed to tell him this? Do you have any idea what it would do? It would destroy what we have. That's why I don't want to. That's why I can't tell him. That's why I'm in the library so much. After…after he rescued me from Pettigrew…"
"You didn't want to have to face him?" Hermione nodded. Ginny thought for a moment. "Do you think he knows?"
"I…I don't think so, I mean, I haven't done anything, I think…I don't know!" she moaned. This was new to her. Ginny, who was far more knowledgeable in this area, had no idea what to do, let alone Hermione. Hermione just had no experience in this kind of matter. She'd never felt like this before.
"Well…" Ginny searched for words to continue. This was getting worse by the second, she thought, Sooner or later, Hermione's crying would attract someone, worst case, it might attract Ron…or even worse, Harry himself! "Er, do you think Harry…er…" Need a word! she thought. "Likes you back?" She went for the softer side.
Hermione shook her head. "How could he? I mean, look at me. I so…so plain, and…there's no reason he'd like me…not the way I like him."
Ginny knew what to do now. Hermione had left herself wide open for this one. "Oh, Hermione, you're not plain, by no means. You're very pretty. And you're so smart, and likeable. How can you say Harry wouldn't like you?" Ginny truly had no idea what Hermione was talking about. While Hermione wasn't anywhere close to the likes of the Patil twins, she had a kind of calm, earthly beauty to her. Just the way she held herself, the way she could express so much with her eyes, the way her smile could light a room. Lots of people, well mostly Gryffindors, had noticed it. Hermione didn't know it, but she could make most guys at Hogwarts melt with a single smile, Harry had told Ginny once.
"Oh, I…I don't know, but…I don't want to jeopardize what we have now on a gamble like that. I don't want to alienate Ron, I just want things to be the way they are."
Ginny took Hermione's hand. "Hermione, one day, when you get married, you're going to spend less time with Harry and Ron anyways. Things can't stay the way they are now; that's just the way life is. You can't be too afraid to choose because you're afraid the other one will get left in the cracks." Ginny sighed. "Love is about taking gambles. Besides, if it's really the chance aspect of this, maybe you should ask to borrow Neville's Sword."
Hermione smiled despite herself. "Maybe." She seemed much better now, and her earlier sobs had been reduced to an occasional sniff. She stood up, grabbing her books. "Thanks, Ginny. Somehow, I knew I could count on you to help me out."
Ginny watched her depart, then turned back to the glassy calm surface of the lake. Watched the girl who she knew was destined for Harry Potter, the boy she had thought she loved. The boy she still sometimes dreamed of. "What're friends for?"
Hermione went back up to the library then, and Ginny departed for the common room. The hour grew late, though, so she trudged up to Gryffindor Tower. She found Harry asleep on a chair next to the fire, book lying on the floor next to him as if dropped from his hand. There was a note on a nearby table.
Hermione, I was waiting for you to show up. I guess I fell asleep though. Sorry. You've been a little scarce this past week, and I was just wondering if everything's OK. Ron's worried about you, too. We know you like to study, but not even you're this bad. Please, if something's wrong, you know you can talk to me about anything.
Harry
"Not about this, though, Harry, not this," she whispered. She was about to wake him, when she had a sudden notion. She ran up to her room and grabbed Wayfinder. She knew how to work it from Harry's description, and she knew that theoretically, it could tell her where to find anything…anything at all.
Just to test is, she whispered, "Where is Harry?" The blade quivered and pointed straight at him. She took a deep breath and posed another question. "Where can I find true love?" To her horror, the blade pointed again at Harry. She collapsed to the floor. Thankfully, Harry did not wake. "No," she groaned, "Why?" The Sword could not answer. She thought a moment. She didn't know exactly what the Sword could do. She considered the verse from the Song of Swords. The Sword of Wisdom lightens loads…So theoretically it could make her job easier…perhaps by directing her to those who could help. So maybe Harry could help her find true love, and was not it himself.
Oh, this is foolish, she thought, trying to dissuade myself. She was making up excuses and she knew it. She was so afraid, though. She stood, still looking at Harry. What if he did love her? Did she dare tell him the truth? Was she willing to accept the risks, and the possible consequences? She didn't know yet. Their friendship was more important to her than anything at all. She had been afraid that after her and Ron's break-up that they wouldn't be friends any longer. It could still happen with Harry. So she only headed back up to her dorm, leaving Harry to sleep on the chair.
A/N:
OK, tons of reviews to handle this time. Thanks to everyone who did review, btw, that being, yurimionepotter, HerioneGranger 4 ever, Dragonlord, AnimeFanatic, Brandie, misstake, Hallie, Batgirl, Old Wolf, lordanhur, msscribe, catark, and kinicky 21. Means a lot to me.
Yurimionepotter: There may be a bit of Jealous!Ron. I'm not sure yet. It depends on how it comes out. With all the Swords, a person would pretty much be invincible, since they could have so much power. As far as the appearances of the Swords, they have somewhat a mind of their own, plus since they were cast back accidentally, they were scattered somewhat. But I do have a scheme of who gets what, and it largely makes sense…At least to me.
Dragonlord: Your instincts are right, it isn't that easy. There's always a catch, and I'll leave it at that. As for Neville, you are pretty close on your guesses. I will have the answers to that in the story as it progresses. As for Harry…Well, the Swords work in mysterious ways. That's all I'll say. And some do have minds of their own. And I do have my reasons for Harry Sword, as will be revealed later.
Batgirl: Where the Swords are will be revealed later. I am very methodical about this. They only appear when I think I want them to. And all 12 WILL eventually make appearances, some more than others.
Msscribe: I'm working on the better language. Give a first timer a break!
Catark: Sorry about your finals. My bad…*slaps self*
Anyhow, as you've all noticed, I have thus far raised more questions than answers. But they are all coming eventually. Trust me.