Chapter 5: Secrets and Lies
Harry stared around the room as everyone talked amongst themselves, each of them whispering animatedly and turning to Harry. It didn't take a genius to realize what they were talking about Harry slammed his fists onto the table angrily, he hated it when people talked about him like he wasn't even in the room.
"You lot do realize I am still here." Harry muttered through clenched teeth.
"Harry," Remus Lupin responded after turning from Molly Weasley. "You don't seem to understand the importance of what is happening to you."
"I don't understand!" Harry's voice rose. "How can I not understand, I am the one who is receiving warnings from my dead godfather about someone I am suppose to save by telling them I love them or something.... It's a nightmare!"
"Harry please....." Mrs. Weasley tried to reason with him. "We don't understand what is going on with your dreams. We need to tell Albus, maybe he can help us figure this out."
Harry calmed down a bit and gave Remus and Mrs. Weasley an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry, I just don't understand why this is happening to me.." Harry had no idea that Hermione had been beside him the entire time, a look of complete understanding in her eyes.
"I'm not so hungry anymore, I think I will go back up to my room." Harry walked away from the kitchen table and ran to his bedroom. Ron tried to get up and go after his best friend but Mrs. Weasley stopped him. "He needs to be alone right now Ron." She didn't see Hermione slide out of the kitchen.
Harry heard a soft knocking coming from the door, he muttered a low "come in" before hiding his face in his
covers.
The door opened and then shut again quietly and Harry heard soft footsteps approaching his bed. He waited for them to speak but it never came.
After a few moments of complete silence Harry slid his eyes from his sheets and spotted Hermione watching him silently, she seemed to understand that he didn't really know what to say at that moment. Harry sat up and spoke to her.
"`Mione? What are you doing?"
Hermione could see the pain emanating from his emerald eyes and she wanted so badly to pull him into a warm embrace and help make everything better.... but she didn't. She moved over to his bed and wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder. Harry complied by leaning his head onto hers and they sat like this for a long time, Hermione eventually heard Harry crying.
Hermione lifted her head to face him and saw that tears were rolling down his cheeks, she lifted her hand to wipe them away. Shocks were sent through her body at the touch of her skin on his, Harry felt it as well.
"Harry, are you ok?" Hermione asked as the tears suddenly subsided.
"I.. I think so. I'm just confused." Harry pulled his hand up to grasp hers that was still resting on his cheek.
Harry stared into her chocolate eyes and saw so much emotion reflected back at him, he felt as ease as he stared into her eyes, something was calming him.
Harry inched closer to Hermione, unconsciously trying to close the gap between their faces. They weren't even an inch apart when the bedroom door swung open and Ron stepped in yelling loudly at Ginny. Harry and Hermione jumped apart before Ron could notice what they were about to do.
"Can you believe her? She is such a little prat sometimes...." Ron was mumbling about some prank that Ginny had pulled on him during breakfast.
Hermione quickly smiled at Harry and left the bedroom, Ron smirked at him. "What has gotten her knickers in a knot?"
******************************
Hermione ran into her bedroom and threw herself on the bed, Ginny was not in there at that moment so she took her time alone to reflect on what had just happened.
Hermione reached under her bed and pulled a large box out from it. After opening it up she pulled many things out
including a few pictures she had hidden away of her, Ron and Harry at school. One of the pictures was taken the year
before right before the term ended, they were standing on the platform at Hogsmeade getting ready to board the train.
She watched as they all smiled up at her, except for Harry, that is until Hermione leaned over and kissed him on the
cheek, she watched as Harry blushed and a small smile crept across his lips.
She quickly put the photo's down and pulled out the one's of her family that she had in there as well. These were just muggle pictures so she couldn't watch them smile and wave at her. In the first picture she was a tiny baby and her father was holding her and smiling, they were sitting in a park having a picnic, her mother had taken the picture.
The next one she found she was older in, around the age of nine. She had an award in her hand that she had received from school and both of her parent were beside her, still smiling. The last picture she pulled out was taken the morning she was to leave for the Hogwarts Express, she could see the fear and excitement etched in her own face, that was the day she met Harry and Ron, the day she realized there was more to life than just books.
Finally putting all of her photo's away she found what she was looking for, her diary, she had been writing in it
ever since she got to Hogwart's. She flipped to the first empty page and rummaged inside the box for a pen, she
touched the pen to the paper and began to write.
Dear Diary, August 4
I know it has been a very long time since I have written in here but so much has been going on around me that I just
haven't found the time. Again we are here at the Order Headquarters, but so much has changed... Sirius is no longer
here with us, hearing him laugh his bark life laugh has been one thing that I miss, I feel heart wrenched as I think of
the man who perished.
The other thing I miss the most is Harry, I know that Harry is here, but it's not him... not the Harry he used to
be. I know he has changed and so have I but he is depressed. There are other things that are happening now, things I
don't understand. I talked with Professor Lupin earlier, he helped a little. I feel completely swallowed inside my
own heart right now, these feelings I have for Harry are so strong.... they are choking me. I think I love him....
I know that it may not be completely love but I know that my emotions are pushing me in that direction. I see this man in front of me, this man who has the world on his shoulders and he can't handle it alone, I want to help him with it. How do I know what love is, it's not something I have ever really read about, sure I've picked up a few romance novels but they never explain how it happens, and why it's happening to me so fast. I think I have always loved Harry in one way or another. Now I know that our friendship has moved on to something much stronger and greater than it could have ever been before. I think he feels the same way although I am not completely positive. I think I will stay away from him for a few days and try to work out my feelings on my own, without having my heart beating so loud that I am sure he can here it... even though he is on the other side of the room.
I suppose that is everything for now, maybe by the time I write in here again I will know what is happening around me....maybe.
Hermione
Hermione finished her entry and quickly hid her diary away in the box that she placed back under her bed. She felt as
though a weight had been lifted from her chest, maybe now she could face Harry and try to understand what was going
on.
*************************
Harry spent half of the day in his bedroom trying to understand what had almost happened between him and his best friend, he wanted to curse Ron for coming in at that moment, yet he also thanked him for stopping them from doing something that could completely ruin their friendship.
By the time lunch rolled around Harry was sure that Hermione didn't feel the same way he did, their almost kiss was a mistake and she would have killed him if he would have went through with it. He walked into the kitchen with Ron and took his regular seat beside Hermione, he noticed that Remus was watching him closely for some reason. Maybe he thinks I am going to yell again..... that must be what he is doing... Harry disregarded the stare as normal Lupin behavior, although Lupin was really watching for some sign that Harry had an interest in Hermione, he hated to see the girl get her heart broken like his had been.
It didn't take long for Remus to get some confirmation of the exchange of feelings between Harry and Hermione. Molly Weasley had just sat a few more bottles of butterbeer on the table for the kids to drink and Harry and Hermione happened to reach for the same one, their hands grazed each other. Remus intently watched the exchange between the two teens.
Harry stopped everything he was doing and turned to Hermione blushing, he moved his fingers over her hand slowly as if memorizing every feature. Hermione was shaking with anticipation as she watched Harry. They both felt their emotions running wildly and no longer noticed anyone else in the room. Remus Lupin watched as they both began leaning towards each other, reaching for a kiss, he knew he had to let them know that they weren't alone.
"Harry," Remus said loudly, so that he would get his full attention. "Can you pass me a butterbeer?"
Harry and Hermione jumped apart both blushing furiously. Harry handed Remus the butterbeer and continued eating his lunch, Hermione did the same.
Remus Lupin knew that their relationship was growing they did seem to harbor strong feelings for each other. He knew that Hermione would be good for Harry but he still couldn't shake the fact that there was something wrong. He had always been able to tell that danger is coming, ever since he was bitten, he shook it off as something small that they didn't need to worry about at least not at that time.
************************************************************************
A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I did writing it. I am going to give you a chose now, do
you think Harry and Hermione should get together before school starts or should it be after the term begins....? Please
answer me in your review.
-->