Doesn't She Know?

A/N: Beware of serious H/Hr fluff ahead!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!

Tidbits: Seventh year. Harry’s POV.

Disclaimer: These wonderful characters belong to none other than the brilliant Goddess of the Harry Potter universe, JK Rowling. I’m just playing with them...

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Did I just sigh out loud? I must have because she just looked up at me and grinned shyly. Hope she didn’t catch me staring again. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Honestly, I don’t know how the blazes I’m going to get my homework done. How am I supposed to concentrate? She insisted I join her in the library this afternoon to study for our upcoming N.E.W.T.s. “Sure.” I had said to her. At least that’s what my brain had told me to say. I would love to spend my time inside on this glorious spring afternoon studying when everyone else is at Hogsmeade.

But my heart said something completely different. Pass up this opportunity to spend quality “alone” time with her? Not a chance.

So here we are, sitting across the table from each other—her table. Ron and I had a little plaque made last year in Diagon Alley that said “Property of Hermione Granger...KEEP OUT”. She loved it. Madame Pince thought is was cute. She had actually smiled. I don’t think I had ever seen that woman smile!

So here I am, sitting across from the girl I constantly day dream about, think about, stare at, day dream about (oh, sorry. I already said that, didn’t I?) trying to concentrate on my studying when I look up and see her chewing on the end of her quill. She does that when she’s concentrating. I find it oddly endearing. Everything she does lately has me spinning in circles. Did I say lately? No. That’s not entirely accurate. More like since the beginning of the year. This is April. Have I really been feeling like this for eight bloody months?! No wonder I’m half crazy!

See, here is my dilemma. It’s actually quite simple. I love her. At least I think I do. I don’t exactly have a point of reference to let me know that what I’m actually feeling is love, but I’m pretty sure it is. What else would you call going out of my way to make sure I get to walk next to her in the halls, carry her books, open doors for her, hold the bowl while she scoops out mashed potatoes, that sort of thing. Am I being obvious? Merlin, I sure hope so! But so far, my actions seemed to have gone unnoticed. At least by her.

One would say (okay several someones have said) that I am being obviously obvious and that it is all sweet and very chivalrous of me. Okay. I can deal with that. I’m chivalrous. Yay for me! But I’m also deeply, helplessly, frantically, madly in love! So what else can I do in addition to the aforementioned chivalrous tasks to make her see that! Of course, I’m too much of a coward to just come right out and say it. So much for that Gryffindor courage, Potter!

And do you what really irritates me about all this? Apparently everyone in the school—including most of the teachers—knows how I feel except the girl who’s affections I am so desperately yearning for. Ron, I love him like a brother, but sometimes I really want to slug him. Do you know what he suggested the other day? That I just grab her, pull her into the nearest broomstick closet, and snog her senseless. Yeah, that’s a great way to tell the girl of your dreams that you’re insanely in love with her and want spend the rest of your life with her and be the father of her children, etc., etc., etc. Or make her run away in horror! No. I think I’ll pass on that suggestion. At least for now (hee hee hee).

I look back down at my book and realize I’ve been on the same page for the last 20 minutes while I’ve been day dreaming (there’s that word again). I let out a quiet sigh so as not to disturb her. “Harry?” Let me just say there isn’t anything in this world that makes my entire body turn to complete mush like the sound of her voice saying my name.

I swallow and look up at her, grinning. “Yeah?”

“You okay?”

“Sure.” I say, sitting back and rubbing the bridge of my nose under my glasses. “I’m really getting tired though.” I look up at the clock on the wall. It’s only been an hour! Dear Merlin’s ghost! And I haven’t done anything! She’s not going to be happy with me. “I think I need a break.” I look back at her and smile. “Care to join me?”

She smiles back and sits back, stretching her arms above her head. I really wish she wouldn’t do that. She’s so not that little girl on the train anymore. “Sure. I think I could use a quick walk around the lake.”

Excellent!! And I didn’t even do the suggesting! I get up and quickly go around to her side of the table, pulling out her chair as she rises. She looks at me over her shoulder with a twinkle in her eye. How does she do that! For someone who seems oblivious to all the signals I’m throwing her way, she certainly has a knack for torturing me!

We walk out of the library (and yes, I’m walking right beside her) and head outside. It is indeed a glorious spring afternoon. A light breeze is blowing making her beautiful brown hair dance about her equally beautiful face. Do I have it bad or what?

We start off around the lake, not speaking. What is there to say? I know what I could say, but I’m the coward, remember? Ron will feed me to Fang when he finds out that Hermione and I went for a walk around the lake today and I didn’t say anything. “Beautiful day.” She says quietly.

Yeah. So why were we inside studying? “Sure is.” I say, looking down at her. Come on, Hermione, just look up at me once! You told me once I wear my heart on my sleeve! Well, it’s in my eyes, too! Just look at me! Oh, honestly! This girl is driving me crazy!

I just roll my eyes and we keep walking, eventually coming to the spot known as “Trio’s Tree”. Ron came up with that one. Like it? I wait for her to sit down and get comfortable, then I sit beside her, leaning back against the tree. “We really should do this more often, Harry.” She says quietly. “We’ll be leaving soon.”

That made me frown. Did I want to leave? No. Was I ready to leave? No. You’d think after all the danger I’ve had to deal with in my seven years here I’d be wanting to get as far away as possible from this place. But the truth is, Hogwarts is my home. I’ve never felt like that anywhere else. Well, except maybe the Burrow. And besides, when I leave here, what else is there for me out there? I’ve fulfilled my destiny or fate or whatever the hell it was I was cursed with and defeated Voldypie so there’s no more threat there. Yeah, some of the Death Eaters are still around swearing revenge, yadda yadda yadda. Who cares. I just want to get on with my life...a life I was never sure I would live to enjoy. But now that I have that life to live, I know who I want to share it with. I just don’t know how to tell her that.

“Harry?” There’s that mushy feeling again. And just then I realize that she had laid her head on my shoulder. Normally, this wouldn’t phase me in the slightest. She’s done this before. Lots of times. But lately (or as I said, the last eight months or so) the slightest touch from her has sent me reeling towards oblivion.

“Yeah?”

“What do you want to do with your life?” She asked nonchalantly.

Wasn’t expecting that. There are many sides of my Hermione, each as unique and beautiful as the other. This one happens to be “profound” Hermione. This means she wants to talk. Seriously talk. Oh boy. I shrug. “Don’t know really.”

That was a bold-faced lie and I know it. Remember that “tell the girl of your dreams that you’re insanely in love with her and want spend the rest of your life with her and be the father of her children” stuff I mentioned earlier? This would be a good time to bring that up. I think.

“Oh, come on. You must have some idea.”

I let out a deep breath. Think carefully, Potter. She’s going to be listening to your every word and all the underlying meanings in them. Because that’s what she does. And she’s really good at it. She dissects words for information and hidden clues. She not the brightest witch (no offense, Professor McGonagall) at Hogwarts for nothing you know. “Well, you know about my plans to go into Auror training.” I feel her nod. Oh, great. Now she has looped her arm through mine and is holding on...tight. What was it that Yoda had said in The Empire Strikes Back? “Control, control. You must learn control.” Yeah, good. I’ll try that.

“Other than that, I hadn’t really thought about it.” I say, then bowed my head. “Didn’t think I’d live this long, you know?" I feel her tense up beside me. "That I had to actually come up with a plan for the rest of my life wasn't exactly top on my agenda.”

She tightened her grip on my arm. She meant it as a comforting gesture, but in my current state of insanely-in-love-with-this-girl I was thinking of things I probably should not have been. Like grabbing her and snogging her senseless. Huh. Just like Ron had suggested. Maybe he was right....

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever think about having a family someday?” She asks quietly.

Oh, she just had to bring that up. “Um, sure I do, I guess.” I say. “Not that I’d have any idea of how to do it.”

She chuckles softly. “Oh, I think you do.” She says. “I think you’d be a wonderful husband and father.”

WHOA!! Stop the presses! Where did that come from?? She letting go of my arm now and turning to face me. This is not good. Not good at all. We are way too close here! Oh, dear Merlin her lips...have they always been that full and red? “Harry?”

I gulped. “Yes, Hermione?” I say, my voice is getting stuck in my throat. She’s doing this on purpose, isn’t she? Oh no. She does know how I feel, doesn’t she? What if she’s just been playing me all this time to see how far I’d go before I actually say something....

It’s over. It’s official. I’m a goner. She's kissing me. And I am now her slave. I know it. Anything she wants, I’ll give her. Anything she asks me to do, I’ll do. You want me to jump off what cliff, Hermione? Just lead the way, luv! You want me to pull the moon from the sky for you? No problem.

Way too soon though, the kiss ends, and when her lips pull away from mine, I feel cold and empty. We’re just staring at each other now. “Hermione....”

She puts a finger on my lips and smile. “We should get back and study.” She whispers.

But I don’t want to study now! I want to stay here with her and do what Ron suggested! Studying is overrated anyway, isn’t it? N.E.W.T.s are evil! No, Hermione, don’t get up. Come on, let’s stay here! I must have a really pathetic look on my face right now cause she’s laughing me.

“Come on, Harry. Get up.” She says, reaching for my hand. I let out a dejected sigh and put my hand in hers. She pulls me up and we start the long walk back towards the castle.

Okay. Awkward silence here. What do you say the girl you’re madly in love with after she has just kissed you when you should have kissed her first? That was a huge cop-out on my part, uh? Then again, perhaps letting her make the first move is better. Maybe she thinks it’s thoughtful and (gasp!) chivalrous of me. That works.

We reach the main doors and I push it open for her, allowing her to step inside before me. As we pass the Great Hall on our way back to the library I suddenly feel a swell of my Gryffindor courage and reach down and take her hand. She doesn’t flinch or anything, like she was expecting it. That’s a good thing, right?

She looks up at me as we walk and smiles the most beautiful smile I think I have ever seen on her lovely face. I grin back at her and give her hand a little squeeze. We are silent as we take our seats in the library, just like we were before this “break” started.

Hermione immediately goes back to her book, writing down notes and chewing on the end of her quill again. And what do I do? Yep, you guessed it. I stare at her. And daydream....