Doesn't She Know?

A/N: Wow! Thanks for wonderful feedback! I’m going all blushy now! I had originally intended this story to be a one-shot, but since I’ve gotten so many requests, I think I’ll have to do at least one, maybe two more chapters. And again, fair warning. There will be nothing but honest to goodness H/Hr fluff in this chapter (and subsequent chapter(s)). Seems that’s what I’m best at so I’m going to stick with it!

SO…in honor of the Half Blood Prince release date (And a special thanks JKR for the wonderful Christmas gift! WOO HOO! Is everyone as giddy as I am about that???) and the completely sublime Harry/Hermione press pic Warner Brothers was kind enough to release yesterday, here is Chapter 2. Hope you enjoy it!

Tidbits: Seventh year. Hermione’s POV.

Disclaimer: These wonderful characters belong to none other than the brilliant Goddess of the Harry Potter universe, JK Rowling. I’m just playing with them...

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Chapter 2 - Doesn’t He Know?

He did it again. He sighed. He’s always doing that! And I really wish he’d stop staring. He probably doesn’t think I notice it, but I do. Honestly, I don’t know how he expects me to study when I constantly feel his eyes on me. How am I supposed to concentrate? I insisted that he join me in the library this afternoon to study for our upcoming N.E.W.T.s. “Sure.” He’d said. My brain was saying I’m sure he’d much rather be at Hogsmeade with everyone else, but my heart was screaming he wants to stay with me!

I’d never tell him this, but I’m really glad he stayed. I love when we spend time together—just the two of us. I love Ron and Ginny and the rest of our friends, but sometimes time alone with Harry is exactly what I need to…. Sorry. Wasn’t quite sure where I was going with that statement. Best to stay away from it. At least for now.

So here we are, sitting across the table from each other—my table. Ron and Harry had a plaque made last year that said “Property of Hermione Granger...KEEP OUT”. I love it. Madam Pince actually allowed me to fasten it to the table. No one ever sits here but me anyway. When there are people sitting here and they see me coming, the get up and leave. So yes, it is my table.

So here I am, sitting across from the boy—excuse me, man—I am constantly thinking about. I look up at him and he’s staring at his book, the same page I might add he’s been reading for the last 20 minutes. He’s twirling the quill I gave him (I can’t believe he still has it!) between his fingers. He really does have beautiful hands. I’m sure he’d hate to know that I use the word beautiful to describe some part of him Not very manly, he’d say.

He seems nervous. I can tell because when he’s nervous he bites the corner of his bottom lip. I find it oddly endearing. Okay. I have a confession to make. Lately everything he does has me swooning. Lately? No. That’s not right. It’s been a long time. Sometime last year I think.

I remember one night in the common room we had looked up from our books at the exact same time. When our eyes met I felt my stomach tighten, almost painfully. I will never forget that sensation as long as I live. Harry had given me the most beautiful (there’s that word again) smile I think I’d ever seen on his handsome face.

See? There I go again. How many best friends do you call handsome? And how many best friends have beautiful hands. And should I even be noticing his hands and how handsome he is? He’s my best friend, right? Isn’t he? I think so. Yes, definitely best friend. But I’m terrified to admit that he’s become something more than that to me. I just wonder if he feels it, too.

And every since that moment I have been completely, helplessly in love with him. But I could never tell him that. I know, I know. I’m a Gryffindor. Courageous and all, right? I have faced a troll, a basilisk, a werewolf (sorry Professor Lupin!), come face to face with Gwarp, taken a curse right in the chest, even faced Voldemort himself. But telling Harry how I feel? Not enough courage in the world to make me do that. At least not now.

Oh, who am I kidding. I’m lying to myself. The answer isn’t complicated at all. Yes, I’m in love. Yes, I’m in love with my best friend. Yes, I’m in love with Harry Potter. Everything he does is so endearing. He walks next to me in the halls, carries my books, open doors for me, he’s even started buttering my toast at breakfast. So you know what? I think he may like me! Well, a girl can dream, right?

He probably thinks that I haven’t noticed his actions. Ginny swears she’s seen him starting at me for minutes at time when I’m not looking. She’s noticed how he acts towards me. Well, okay. A lot of people have.

And I love Ginny like a sister, I really do. But sometimes I just want to hex her into next week! The other day she suggested that I just stop kidding myself (and Harry) and just seduce him. I believe her exact words were “get him to go to the astronomy tower with you and just attack him. Snog him until he can’t see straight.” Oh, sure, Ginny. A great way to tell the man who I have been secretly yearning for how much I love him and want to marry him and have his children. He’d run away screaming!

He just sighed again. I’m really starting to hate it when he does that. My entire mind goes blank and I feel my legs go numb. And not only does it make my stomach flutter like mad, but it makes my Something is Wrong With Harry senses go on full alert. So I worry about him. I can’t help it. Merlin knows he needs someone to look after him! “Harry?”

He looks up at me, grinning. “Yeah?”

“You okay?” Could the concern in my voice be more obvious? Doesn’t he realize how much I love him and want to protect him and comfort him from all the horrors in his life, past, present, and future? Well, not so much present. Voldemort is gone. Yes, Harry defeated him, the bloody bastard. I don’t normally curse, but he was just asking for it!

“Sure.” He says, sitting back and rubbing the bridge of his nose under his glasses. “I’m really getting tired though.” He looks up at the clock on the wall. “I think I need a break.” I know full well that he isn’t that tired. He hasn’t done a thing the entire hour we’ve been in the library. Oh, dear. He’s just given me that smile. I think he knows that smile turns my legs into jelly. “Care to join me?”

I can’t help but smile. Sitting back, I stretch my arms above my head and a little squeak escapes my lips. I don’t know if he caught it or not, but I did notice him looking at me while I stretched. Honestly, you’d think he’d never seen a girl before! Yes, Harry. I am a girl. Yes, Harry, I have breasts! Honestly…boys.

“Sure. I think I could use a quick walk around the lake.” What better place to maybe give him a not-so-subtle hint as to how I feel about him? Before I even realize he’s gotten up, he’s pulling out my chair as I stand. I look at him over my shoulder with grin. How was that for obvious?

We walk out of the library (yes, he’s walking right beside me) and head outside. It’s a wonderful spring afternoon. A light breeze is blowing through his beautiful black hair. I know a lot of girls find his always-messy hair unattractive. What? Are they kidding? I love his hair! In fact, I would like nothing more than to run my hands through it…okay, Hermione. Going a little too fast there. Back up a few paces. Oh, do I have it bad.

We start off around the lake, not speaking. What is there to say? I know what I could say, but don’t want him to feel awkward and do the aforementioned running away screaming. Ginny will find some horrible and cruel way to embarrass me when she finds out that Harry and I went for a walk around the lake today and I didn’t say anything. So I’d better say something. “Beautiful day.” I say quietly, just wanting to break the uncomfortable silence that has rested between us.

“Sure is.” He says, looking down at me. I don’t actually see him looking at me, but I can feel it. And if I look up now it’ll be all over. Best not to then. Those electric green eyes of his are searing right through me. Oh, those eyes. Those beautiful emerald pools. Lately I’ve found myself not being able to look into them for long. I could very easily get lost in them. I could drown in them. And the frightening part is I don’t think I’d care!

We keep walking, eventually coming to our tree. Ron came up with “Trio’s Tree”. He was so proud of himself. You should have seen him, all puffed up like a big turkey. I smiled inwardly at the thought. I notice that Harry is waiting for me to sit. He’s so chivalrous. The perfect gentleman. Once I am settled, he sits beside me, leaning back against the tree. “We really should do this more often, Harry.” I say quietly. “We’ll be leaving soon.”

What I just said suddenly hit me hard. I didn’t want to leave Hogwarts. Ever. I mean, I was excited to get out and mark my place in the world. But there were so many memories here. So many good times—and bad—that has made this place my home for the last seven years. I met my two best friends here. I met Harry here. I faced life and death with him here. And I fell in love with him here. Leaving Hogwarts will be painful, but how can I tell him that if I have to leave here without him it will be the death of me? Not literally. Well, at least I don’t think it will be. All I know is that I can’t exist without him in my life. Period.

I lay my head on his shoulder. I suddenly feel the need to be closer to him. The need to touch him is overwhelming. I’ve done this before. Lots of times. But this time, it’s causing my heart to ache. “Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you want to do with your life?” I ask quietly.

I’m sure he wasn’t expecting that question because I feel him tense up beside me. He just shrugs. “Don’t know really.”

“Oh, come on. You must have some idea.” He’s a very deep thinker, my Harry is. I look up at him wondering what’s going on in that wonderful mind of his. He’s trying to pick just the right words. He’s worrying that I will try and dissect everything he’s going to say. And he’d be right. That’s what I do. Bookworm Extraordinaire. That’s me.

He sighed (again). “Well, you know about my plans to go into Auror training.” I nod against his shoulder and loop my arm through his. That need to protect him is now stronger than ever. Being an Auror could be very dangerous! Hasn’t he had enough of that? I squeeze his arm gently, just to let him know that I am here. That I am listening to everything he says.

“Other than that, I hadn’t really thought about it.” He says, then bows his head. “Didn’t think I’d live this long, you know?" I tensed up beside him. The memory of him on the brink of death when they’d found him after the battle was as clear in my mind as the day it had happened. "That I had to actually come up with a plan for the rest of my life wasn't exactly top on my agenda.”

I wrap my other hand around his arm too and hold on for dear life. I hope he doesn’t feel me trembling. “Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever think about having a family someday?” I ask. How’s that for jumping right in there and going for it? A bit subtle, but I have confidence that he’ll figure it out. Won’t he?

“Um….” Oh, no. He’s tense again. I fear I may have caused the running away screaming to commence any moment. “Sure I do, I guess.” He says. “Not that I’d have any idea of how to do it.”

Oh, Harry. How little faith you have in yourself. A small chuckle escaped my lips. “I think you do.” I say. “I think you’d be a wonderful husband and father.” I let go of his arm and turn to face him. I’ve waited a long time to be this close to him. He’s probably thinking we are way too close now, but…oh, dear Merlin his lips...have they always been that…kissable? “Harry?”

He gulped loudly. “Yes, Hermione?” He has to know how I feel now! I’m way past the point of being obvious here! I’m all but coming out and shouting I love you, Harry! Oh, please tell me you know! But before I can form another coherent thought, before I can stop myself from doing something very un-Hermione-like, I’m kissing him. And I am now his slave. I know it. Anything he wants, I’ll give him. Anything he asks me to do, I’ll do. You want me to stop the sun from setting for you? No problem. You want me to stop the world from spinning? Sure! Absolutely, luv! Just say the word!

Needing to stop the quivering in my stomach, I pull away from him. Like that helped my stomach any. My lips are suddenly cold, I miss his warmth already. We’re just staring at each other now. “Hermione....”

I put a finger on his lips and smile. “We should get back and study.” I whisper.

Who am I kidding now? I don’t want to study! Did I just think that?!? Something must be wrong with me! Oh, yeah. I just kissed Harry, the secret love of my life, for the first time and it was everything I dreamed it could be. I want to do what Ginny suggested and drag him up to the astronomy tower and snog him until he can’t see straight! Isn’t studying is overrated anyway? N.E.W.T.s are evil! Oh, the look on his face is so pathetic. He must be thinking the same thing I am. I can’t help but giggle.

“Come on, Harry. Get up.” I say, reaching down for his hand. His beautiful hand. He lets out a dejected sigh and wraps his hand around mine. I pull him up and we start the long walk back towards the castle.

I don’t ever recall such an awkward silence between us. We can usually sit together and say nothing for hours and it’s never felt like this. What do you say to the man you’re in love with after you have just kissed him? I wonder if I should have let him make the first move. Oh well…too late to take it back now, right? But, he hasn’t run away screaming. So that’s definitely a good sign.

We reach the main doors and he pushes it open for me. As we pass the Great Hall on our way back to the library, he suddenly reaches down and takes my hand. I don’t even flinch. I don’t want him to think it wasn’t a welcome gesture. In fact, it’s taking all of my self control to not jump and down like a giddy school girl who has just realized that the boy she’s had a crush on for what seems like forever has just realized it—and feels the same way! Oh wait. That’s just happened. Hasn’t it?

I look up at him as we walk and smile the best smile I can muster. And it’s all for him. I hope he can see the love in my eyes. He grins back at me with that grin and gives my hand a little squeeze. Well, that was a nice unspoken answer to my unasked question. We are silent as we take our seats in the library, just like we were before this “break” started. I go immediately goes back to my book, writing down notes, and chewing on the end of my quill again.

And you know what? I can feel him staring at me.