Seven Minutes In Heaven
Chapter VIII - Going In Circles
Written By: Anti Darth Ani
Edited By: Anti Darth Ani
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Author's Note: I realize how serious this fan-fic has become, and I'm not sure I like it that much. I try to write funny stuff, but this fan-fic has a mind of its own. So, I've steered away from the death-of-Ginny and scary stuff like that and tried to add a little more humor, dare I say `comic relief', into this chapter. However, as I wrote it, it sort of became dark humor. *Shrugs* Thanks to all my wonderful readers and reviewers, to whom I owe all my creative juices [which are chugging away at this novel of mine]. You guys keep me rolling!!!! I love every single review I get, even if you don't like me :P Some of you make me smile, some of you make me laugh, and some of you make me wonder just what the hell you're trying to say :P But, like I said, I love you all. And this chapter goes to all of you!
I'm getting close to the end of this fan-fic, I can feel it!!!
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One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
You love me, but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me, but you don't know who I am
So let me go, let me go
-Let Me Go by 3 Doors Down
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"You need to stop running away!" he called out after her, running as fast as he could in the knee deep snow. As luck would have it, his long legs carried him almost twice as fast as Ginny could move in the mounds of snow. It didn't take him long to catch up with her. As he finally came up close to her, Draco reached out and snatched her arm, pulling her to the side and behind a large cherry tree near the lake. The last thing he wanted was for someone to just happen to look out of one of the hundreds of windows in the school and spot them together.
"Look at me, Ginny," he demanded, his voice soft but the tone harsh enough to catch her attention. She knew he didn't mess around, that when he said something he really meant it. But she couldn't help but look away, afraid to see what secrets would be revealed in his eyes. Instead of looking directly at him, she focused her gaze on his chest it front of her. His white undershirt was completely see though and he knew she was thinking about him in some way as she didn't tear her eyes away.
Draco reached behind with both arms and brought her robe around her shoulders. He knew she was cold, even if she wasn't trembling from the gusting wind. As he pulled her robe around her, his hands released the robe and traveled up the sides of her neck, barely touching the skin. He watched as her eyes fluttered shut involuntarily, reacting to his warm skin. It amazed him that even the softest touch and the most innocent words could cause such a response from her. And he knew that she wanted him just as much as he needed her. She just had a better way of hiding it.
"I don't want you to love me," he whispered softly, looking down at the side of her face as she continued to stare directly into his chest, which was just slightly under her eye level. His fingers brushed across her cheeks as his breath tickled the side of her face. "I just want to feel you, Ginny. You don't have to promise me anything, but I want this to be easier between us. I want to quit following you around, having to beg for you just to listen."
She looked up at him as he said this, and he could tell that she was puzzled by his meaning. The corners of her eyes were wet and she was on the verge of tears again, but she always held them back. She tried to prove that she was stronger than he was, and if he was honest with himself he would have to agree. "I don't know how this started," he continued, restraining himself from just slamming her up against the tree trunk and taking her whether she wanted it or not. "And I don't know how it'll end," he told her truthfully. "But, whatever this is between us, I need it."
She began to pull away from him again, he could already feel her weight shifting away and his fingers losing contact with her skin. How did he always manage to say the wrong thing, to upset her more than she already was? Why couldn't things between them ever be simple for once? WHY, WHY, WHY???? Draco tried to think of something profound to say, something that would stop her in her tracks and make her want him as much as he wanted her.
But while he paused to think about what to say, Ginny began to slide away from him. She's not supposed to leave yet, he said crossly to himself. "You're not supposed to leave yet," he then repeated out loud for Ginny to hear. Well, that sure as hell wasn't profound, but I did manage to get her to stop in her tracks. He wasn't sure if he should be proud of himself or not.
"I'm not supposed to leave?" Ginny repeated back to him, shocked by what he was saying to her. Is
there an echo out here tonight? Must be the wind or the snow... "Who are you to tell me what I am and am not
supposed to do, Malfoy?" Draco instinctively pulled his hand away from her face. Better not be touching her
right now. She seems a bit pissed. Was that a rhetorical question or not? Draco wondered if she wanted him to
answer it or if she was going to keep ranting on about it. "You take us flying in a snow storm, then burn
us in the Slytherin locker room, then get mad when I refuse you in said locker room." Okay, it
was a rhetorical question. And she was going to keep beating it with a stick until there
was nothing left. "Do you have any idea how mad I am at you? How right you've proven Ron,
Harry, and Hermione by being so self-centered?" Self-centered? Who is she
calling self-centered? Certainly not me. He had half the mind to slap her,
but that would only egg her on.
"I have a boyfriend, you know." The statement came out of left field and Draco wondered what had caused her to bring that up. "And I was perfectly fine with my relationship with Tony until you came along and decided that you were going to screw everything up. Her cheeks had turned red, but Draco didn't know if the weather or her anger had caused it. But he was willing to bet that it was anger. He still didn't know what she was so upset about. He'd only been trying to shag her. And... wait a minute. She's got a boyfriend? Since when? And just who the hell is Tony? She's full of shit, she is.
"Will you please say something!" she snapped at him when he let her continue talking. Draco looked down at Ginny until his eyes were level with hers. Oh, so now she wants me to talk. And just what the hell does she expect me to say??
"Something," Draco finally responded, not knowing what else to do, so he did exactly what she'd told him to do. Word for word. And all he got from it was a shove in the chest. Draco stared at her, shocked that she had the gull to actually push him, of all people. Frisky little bitch, this one. Likes to give it rough, but not to receive it rough. I see how it is.
Ginny let out an impatient little huff. "Why do I even bother trying?" she asked him. Again with the rhetorical questions... he wanted to roll his eyes at her, but that would be far too childish. "Let me spell it out for you, Malfoy, since you don't seem too brilliant at the moment. We... will... not... find... ourselves... in... this... situation... again. Understood?"
He resented her for treating him like a child, even if he had been acting a bit like one lately. She had no superiority over him. If anything, he should have the control over her. He just needed to remind himself that she was a lowly Weasley and that nothing could ever happen between them, even though so much already had. If someone found out, anyone at all, things would get crazy and he didn't think he'd be able to handle that. "Oh, I understand, Weasley. I understand perfectly." He paused, trying not to show any true emotion. "But there's a little fact you've left out of your decision. We've tried this before and it doesn't work. How many times in the past two days have we told each other that it's the end and that it can't go on any longer? Huh, how many times, Ginny?" his voice was raising at her, whether he meant for it to or not. "Can't count that high mentally, can you?" he asked when she didn't answer him. "We keep going in circles, and we always end up right back here."
"Under a tree?" Ginny asked, glancing up quickly before facing him again. Under a tree... she must think she's a real hoot. God, he was torn between killing her and shagging her.
"Between fighting and fucking, Weasley. Come on, I know you aren't that slow as the realize what I'm talking about." He was tired of being nice to her, tired of the whole ordeal. He just wanted the confusion to end, not matter where it quit.
Ginny pulled her robes tighter around her. He could tell she felt awkward, but he didn't make a move to comfort
her. This was the way it was going to have to be until
they figured something out. "Between hot and cold, I suppose too," Ginny added softly, biting her
lower lip in her nervous gesture.
"I don't think I can handle this anymore," he admitted, hating the sound of defeat. But Draco was tired and willing to resign just to have some sort of pride back. Even if it hurt to let her go.
"I know I can't," Ginny replied, taking a deep breath. Draco ignored the snow gathering in his hair, fearing what he knew, just somehow knew, she was going to say next. "See you around, Draco," she whispered. Well, it's not exactly what I expected, but it's close enough. Draco nodded, watching as she quickly run the rest of the way back to the school.
As soon as he knew she'd left, he slammed his head against the tree and left it there. He could still smell her around him, damn it, and he didn't think she'd ever completely get off of him, no matter what he tried to do. Stupid hormones, he complained to himself, starting to make his own way back to the school. Stupid, stupid, stupid...
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Ginny made sure she didn't start crying until she'd almost reached her dormitory. Then, as she made her way up the stairs, the tears began to fall. She wasn't even sure why she was crying. She'd wanted it to end as much as he did. So why had it felt as if someone was ripping out her heart when he'd agreed to end it once and for all? You're a wreck, Ginny. You've completely lost your marbles. You let him get too close and look what happened. You got your heart broken, just as you knew you would.
As Ginny made her way into the dormitory, she wiped her tears away. I've got to pull myself together. He's not worth it. He was just using you to fill his lust, to get what he wanted and then dump you like the trash you are. But her thoughts just made her cry more. He told you from the beginning that he needed you, and you knew exactly what he meant. He needed you for sex and nothing more. And when you refused to give it to him, he agreed that it would be better to stop.
"Where the hell have you been?" Lavender hissed as Ginny made her way over to her bed. Ginny ignored her concerned friend, instead trying to just make it to the bed without crumpling onto the floor. "Do you know how worried I've been about you?"
As Ginny sat down, Lavender came closer and noticed Ginny's current state. "Oh, Ginny, what did he do?" she asked, her voice just as hurt as Ginny felt. Lavender sat down next to Ginny, pulling Ginny's robe off of her. "And why are you soaking wet?"
Ginny turned to face her friend, her eyes a light pink shade and her face covered with tear streaks. "I wanted to, Lav. I wanted to sooo bad," Ginny started, not realizing that Lavender didn't have a clue as to what she was talking about. "He was right there and he wanted me. But I just couldn't do it, and when I told him, he just let me walk away. He always stopped me before, but this time he didn't follow me and stop me. He let me go." She looked right into Lavender's concerned eyes. "He just let me go and didn't chase me."
"Well, if you left Ginny, how could you expect him to follow you?" Lavender asked softly. She wrapped an arm around her friend's shoulders. In turn, Ginny rested her head against Lavender's shoulder, sobbing harder.
"What have I done, Lav? What did I do to deserve this? I just wanted to be like them, wanted to know what it would be like to just have him for myself. But I can't, because I'm a Weasley and he's a Malfoy." Ginny closed her eyes, pulling away from Lavender and leaning back on the bed, curling up in the fetal position.
"What happened, Ginny?" Lavender asked as Ginny continued to cry.
Ginny shook her head, not wanting to answer anymore. Giving up with a sigh, Lavender stood up and walked out of the dormitory quickly. Ginny crawled up to the top of her bed and grabbed her pillow, burying her face into it. How had she come to depend on him so much in the past twenty-four hours? He was only a guy, a guy she wasn't even supposed to like. A guy I can't keep my hands and mouth off of, no matter how hard I try.
Her bed suddenly shifted and she felt a hand come up and grip her shoulder from behind. "I just want to be alone, Lav," Ginny mumbled into her pillow, too embarrassed to face her friend.
"Ginny, turn around and face me," a voice commanded softly. When Ginny heard the voice, she wanted to cry even harder. If she thought she'd been done crying, she was only going to start twice as hard this time.
"Dean, you shouldn't be here," Ginny protested, trying to get away from him without having to pull her face away from the safety of her pillow. "I don't know how you got up into the girls' dormitories, but you need to go back to your's."
He leaned against her more, reached out and pulling her hair back so that he could see the side of her face. Ginny sobbed so hard, it turned into a hacking cough. Ginny bent as much as she possibly could, pulling away from Dean's touch. "I love you, Ginny, we all do. And it kills us to see you when you're like this."
Ginny shifted as far away from him as she could, until she ended up leaving her pillow and getting out of her bed. "Then just don't look at me, Dean!" she snapped, trying to get him to leave. He was the last person Ginny wanted to see, because he was the only other guy who could break her heart more than Draco already had.
"Don't do this, Gin. Don't push Lavender away, don't push me away. We want to help you. And we want to know what happened," Dean told her. She could see the concern in his eyes, but Ginny didn't have the heart to explain. As he got closer to her, he reached out to try to calm her down and pull her to him. But Ginny slapped at his arms, afraid of contact with him since she'd been with Draco only minutes before. No matter how hard Ginny fought against Dean, he finally managed to wrap his arms around her and pulled her up against him.
Weak and defeated, Ginny slumped into his grip, burying her head against his shoulder and letting out the rest of the tears she still had. Her arms found there way behind his back and reached up to grasp his shoulders from behind, her fingers pressing into the fabric of his favorite soccer team t-shirt he wore to bed. Ginny suddenly remembered why she'd loved Dean so much and why she'd been so depressed when he'd suddenly decided he couldn't date her anymore (which she later discovered was all Ron's doing). He knew what she was like when she got down to a disaster like she was currently, because he was the only other guy who'd ever made her feel this way before.
"I love you, Gin," he whispered against her hair, kissing her temple. "I don't know what he did to make you so upset, but I'm here for you, you understand?" Ginny nodded, her sobs giving way to small hiccups from getting herself so worked up.
Dean rubbed her back, his fingers tracing a large circle on her wet t-shirt. Ginny had the urge to ask him what he was thinking. And she suddenly wanted to know why he'd left her stranded at the Yule Ball. They'd been so happy, or so it had seemed, when he'd suddenly just blown her off. There had been rumors, speculations, about Ron telling Dean off, but she'd never been quite sure. Yet, less than a week later, he'd been by her side again, not as her boyfriend, but just as a friend. For some reason, Ginny doubted her situation with Draco would be the same.
"I've missed you," Ginny whispered against his shirt, her hands coming down to his back and wrapping around his waist. "I've missed us being together," she told him, finally looking straight into his face once she'd stopped crying. "I dream about you sometimes, even though I know I shouldn't. I can't help thinking that I did something to make you go away."
Ginny felt guilt building up inside of her. Guilt for never asking Dean to take her back. Guilt for allowing herself to get mixed up with Draco. Guilt for completely forgetting about him at the prospect of being with Dean again. Guilt all around for being such a low Weasley. "Hey," Dean told her softly, kissing the tip of her nose, like he'd always done while they were sitting or laying together. "Don't beat yourself up over anything, Ginny. I was stupid for leaving you like that at the Yule Ball, and he was crazy for dumping you like this. You've got no one to blame but us jerks who keep screwing up your life."
"I could never blame you, Dean," Ginny told him honestly, her last tear falling from her eye. "I've tried and tried and tried some more, but I've never been able to blame you." Ginny tightened her grip around his waist, trying to remember everything about him that she'd forgotten in the past few months. "And I want to blame Draco, but I can't seem to do that either."
"Draco?" Dean asked, although he didn't sound surprised. "Figures it would be him, since he was the one you ended up with at the Yule Ball." Ginny knew he wasn't insulting her, but for some reason she felt hurt by his comment. "I have no problem at all blaming Draco for this mess," Dean continued, pulling his hand away from her back and bringing it up to her face. "Just forget him, Ginny," Dean whispered, bringing her face closer to his. "He doesn't deserve you," he told her.
But do you deserve me? Ginny wondered as she let him kiss her. It had been so long since the last time he'd really kissed her. Are you any better than Draco, the way you caused me pain just as he's done? He wasn't a better kisser than Draco, but she loved his style more. He wasn't as rough, but he didn't treat her like glass either. He treated her with respect, which was all Ginny had ever wanted. Can I really use you to forget that deep inside, I'm still waiting for Draco to come back and take me in the broom closet, or in the shower, or under a tree? Ginny tried to shut out the thoughts as she let herself be consumed by Dean's kiss.
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