Christmas Wishes Part Two
****
Hermione was glad it was a Friday night; therefore she didn't have to worry about getting up early in the morning. With this thought in mind she made her way to the girl's dorms and closed herself within the sanctuary of her bed. Placing a pile of parchment to one side so she could make notes of things to respond to and the box she placed directly in front of her, she then took out the letter Ginny had read earlier and with a gentle smile on her face. Reaching over for the parchment she made a note to talk to him about fearing her hating him. As she was writing she realized he more than already got the idea from her own letters. She decided then to just answer his letters and she continued as she normally did. She smiled as she realized she is having a long distance relationship with Harry, though granted, not in the way she'd really like to. Turning back to the box she pulls out another letter and gently opens it.
Hermione
It's been a week and a half since I last saw you at King's Cross. I know this will sound lame and all, but I miss you already. I know you haven't been completely honest with me, but I understand you not wanting me to know you and Ron were dating. It hurts to know you, like everyone else this year, has kept me in the dark. But I also know I would be dead without you.
So from here on out I will try not refer to you or Ron dating, I just wanted to let you know that I know. I have known since I arrived at Sirius's place. I nearly walked in on the two of you.
Anyway, how are you feeling? Has your injury healed? I hope it has, I still can't believe I almost lost you. I can't seem to get that day out of my mind, I keep seeing you get hit, I keep seeing Sirius dieing and I know all of it is my fault. I am so sorry I didn't listen to you more. I normally do better than that. I hope to have the chance to in the future.
I would like to apologize for so many things, but I don't even know where to begin. I know that for you to be my friend is a danger to your health, I know that just knowing me, puts your life into more danger than if we had never met.
I know I should wish we never met, but I can't.
Is that selfish of me?
Is it selfish of me to need you as my friend, to need you near me? Is it selfish to pull you closer when I should be pushing you away?
I know what you're thinking, I don't usually write like this. I don't usually put so much personal information into my letters. I also know you more than likely will never get this.
The Dursley's didn't take well to what happened at the station. They've taken Hedwig away and they watch as I write the letter to the Order. I can't send mail and I can't get mail. It hurts to watch as Hedwig is forced to hand him letters from you and to know I will never get to see what they say.
I also know I will never tell you about that, or about what happens here. I am too embarrassed to admit my life is being run by adults.
I better go; I think I hear Uncle Vernon coming.
Love
Harry
*****
Hermione
I know it's been awhile since I was last able to write. The fact of the matter is, I am no longer at the Dursley's, but I'm not at Snuffles place either. I can't tell you where I am at the moment. I find it difficult to write without telling you everything. And I mean everything. I can partly understand what you went through last summer. At least that is, when it concerned writing me, anyway.
The Order figured something was wrong at the Dursley's and came rushing to my rescue. I say a little to late, don't' you. I mean I had eleven years of their treatment unhindered. No one came to my rescue then, did they?
Anyway, I have just been offered to receive advanced training. I know you would be jealous of that. Me, I get to learn something. Imagine that. Anyway, I accepted on one condition, no one is to learn why.
I shouldn't have written that last part. But I will leave out what type of why it is I am referring to. So in the morning I will begin an accelerated, (very much accelerated) Auror training. Then once I pass the courses I might be trained further. But we'll see about that later.
I better go, it's late and I have a feeling Moody is going to wake me very early in the morning.
Love
Harry
*****
Hermione
Training has been very difficult, so has not hearing from anyone. I understand Ron, but… I am about finished with my Auror training. I even surprised Moody this morning. Moony has been here with me the whole time. I think I would have gone insane had he not been here.
Have you gotten your OWL Scores yet? I bet you aced them. Oh, alright, passed them. What can I say; it's the Muggle in me, or whatever. Than again it is three in the morning so what I have to say isn't exactly understandable to my brain, so I highly doubt you understand my ramblings.
I got mine awhile ago. I passed a few and failed none. Well, maybe history and divination. Not that that is too surprising really. At least I passed POTIONS. Yep that's right folks, I got an O…
Not that you will know that or care.
I miss you
Love
Harry
****
Hermione
I have just agreed to something that will make you hate me. I know you will say there is nothing that can make that happen. But I know better than that. I know since I couldn't be trusted with your trust. I know that you would never agree to what I have. I know you hate such things and thus you will hate me.
I guess it's just as well you haven't written me any.
I have just agreed to join the Military.
Hardest decision of my life to make, I even asked for time to think it over. And I did Hermione, I thought about it good and hard. I honestly did. I even made out charts, like you do. I put all the things that would stop me from doing it and all the things that explained why I should. You would have been proud of it.
As you can already tell, the reasons I should, have vastly out done the reasons I shouldn't. To top it off, I have just added another thing to the stupid list about me people seem to love to keep. I am now the youngest person to ever enter into not only the military, but into any conflict and be paid for it. That's right, I have a job. A job I know you won't approve of. It was this thought alone that may have swayed me to not doing what I am.
I am sorry Hermione. I don't mean to disappoint you anymore than I already have.
Sorry
Love
Harry
****
Hermione
I have just been assigned to my battalion, and let me tell you, it feels weird. When I agreed to join the ranks of the magical military I did not, in my life, expect to become a Commanding officer of a battalion. I now have over three hundred people who have to do as I tell them.
And it scares the hell out of me.
How can I lead these people when I don't even know what's going on? How can I lead people when I can't even lead myself? How can I protect them from the dangers they are about to partake of? How can I be someone they trust enough not to question? How can I do this alone?
From looking at my calendar, I realize today is the First of September. If my calculations are correct, today is the day you will learn of my ultimate betrayal of your beliefs. I am sorry. I am so very sorry. I do not mean to hurt you.
I imagine you sitting beside Ron, holding hands, now that you don't have to hide it from me. You might look around once or twice, wondering if I missed the train, again! But you would never expect what you are about to hear.
When Professor Dumbledore asked if he could announce my location to the school, well, not my location, just my occupation, I guess. I asked him why? Why bother telling people who honestly don't care about, about me?
His response was something about giving the students hope for the future. I thought about this good and hard, I finally agreed because I knew this was the best way to tell you of my location without having to tell you.
I have often had nightmares about your reaction to Professor Dumbledore announcing what I've done. I can tell you this; I hope none of them were even remotely true. I just hope you didn't do something you would regret in your disappointment in me.
I was to have been your friend and yet here I was off in some stupid war that I shouldn't have gotten into. I should be preparing for NEWTs not fighting someone else's battle.
Am I close?
Do you tell everyone of your disappointment in me? Did you tell everyone we were no longer able to be friends because I will become a murderer? Did you tell everyone that I was a failure and you regretted spending the past six years with me?
I will understand if you did.
At times I find myself wishing I were there, that I was sitting on the train heading to Hogwarts, heading home. Then I close my eyes and remember that night in the Department of Mysteries and I remember everything that happened afterwards. I reopen my eyes and I see the people surrounding me, the people who are now looking at me with hope in their own eyes. Hope that I will keep them alive.
I don't want to be here, I honestly don't.
I just know I am the only one who can. I could sit here and wish this fate on someone else, on one other person, but I can't do that. I could never do that. It is best that this happened to me. It is for the best I was the one chosen. It is all for the best. I can't just sit and wait for something to happen. You know I can't.
So I grab my wand and my weapons of death and murder and strap them to me, I hide my fear, I hide my heart and I step out into the cold night air and calmly look over the masses of people waiting for their orders, waiting for me to be the Hero they were trained I was.
I raise my hand, sword raised high and I tell them the only reason this war is worth fighting. I tell them the reasons that tipped the scale for me to join. I tell them the truth.
Let's fight not for ourselves, for if that was all we were here for, then it wouldn't be worth it. Let's fight not to save the world, for there are way too many people on the surface of the earth to save. Instead let's fight for something worth fighting for. Let's fight to save our families and friends. Let's fight so those we love won't have to fight. We must fight to keep others innocent; fight to keep others from having to come here as we have. We must fight to keep our families innocent. And as we fight, keep our honor, don't become like the enemy. We are but a few, we are but human, but damned if we're going to turn evil. Fight for honor and truth. Fight for freedom and justice. For none of this will matter if we lose sight of what is good, what is pure. Fight for love. Fight for the future.
I then lower my sword and place it back on my waste; I bow slightly to the gathered group. And I tell them of our orders; I tell them how I expect them to behave, to act, to conduct themselves. I tell what will happen if I learn they have violated these few rules. I then tell them to go to bed for in the morning our turn in the war is about to begin.
I release them, leading them to believe I know what I'm doing. I watch as they return to their quarters. I wait until the last soldier is gone. I wait until I am alone once again. I quietly turn and return to my own quarters, where I promptly throw up.
Some leader I am.
As I pray to the porcelain god, I think of all the things I will have to put these men and women through. I think of how many of them will have to die because of some stupid mistake on my part. I think; how can we fight the future when it's also the past.
And for the first time in nearly eleven years I cry.
How can a, nobody, like me expect to lead anyone?
I curl up on my bed, tears still flowing and the only thing I can think of at that moment is how much I need one of your hugs. And with the thought that I will never receive one again, I slowly drift off to sleep.
How can anyone look to me as a leader; when all I want to do, is hide.
I'm so sorry for writing this and I know you more than likely will never want to hear from me again. Especially now that you know I am in the war.
I am so sorry Hermione, so sorry for everything and more than you can ever know.
Love
Harry
****
Hermione
I know it's been awhile since I was last able to write. A lot of things have been happening. The battalion is in the thick of the war, and I do mean thick of it. All has been going well, at least that is, until today.
I have just finished writing a letter to the family of a soldier who died in battle. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I knew this soldier. I know every soldier. He has two kids; one's to start school next year. He's so proud of her. The other has yet to show any signs at all of magic, but he didn't care, he was his child and that is all that mattered. He was far braver a man then I could ever be. He died to save a villager from being murdered. I have requested that he receive a metal for his honor. Then again I think everyone in this group should be honored for all they have done.
In a few minutes I will head to his quarters to collect his belongings so I can send them to his wife as well. I am not looking forward to it. How can I walk through camp acting as though one of our own hasn't fallen? I thought that at dinner I should do as Professor Dumbledore did for Cedric. It was strange, but I felt it was appropriate for what happened. I just hope they are just as understanding.
I have asked for the soldiers to write to his family as well. I told them it wasn't an order and it didn't have to be long or anything, just some good memories we could pass on to his family. I also told them if they didn't want to, it was alright. I have placed a special box in the chow hall, any who writes can drop their letters there and I won't look. I'll just send them along.
I hope they don't hate me. I didn't know about the village being a hotspot. I didn't know. And I should have.
I have failed you again today.
I am sorry
Love
Harry
****
Hermione
Today we were forced to do something I tried to talk my superiors out of. They wouldn't listen. We had to obey our orders. I almost punched Fudge or I nearly killed him. But if my troops were to head into battle, I wasn't about to let them go without me there beside them.
Therefore we walked right into a trap.
I tried all I could to prepare for this encounter, I really did. I even made special Portkeys (had to look up the spell) for them to carry. If they felt they were to be attacked, die, they were to use them and get out. I made enough for all but one. I had no time. I couldn't make one more and then get up in the morning and make the march. I was okay with this though.
My second in command got really pissed at me when he noticed I wasn't wearing a Portkey as well. I told him I wasn't planning to die today and that I would be fine. It was an interesting fight, but amusing as well. He refused to wear his too.
Damn fool.
Anyway, we were ambushed and the battalion fought honorable against impossible odds. We held our ground, we didn't retreat, we didn't give in and more importantly we didn't die.
That's right, not one of the battalion died.
There were some serious close calls, and they used the Portkeys and all, but they will survive. I will be signing the release forms for three people today. I'm okay with this, for though they are injured, they are alive and still can function in their former jobs. They have my respect and my thanks.
I am proud of how they handled today. I am proud to call them comrades, I am proud to know them. They make this company what it is, they are what makes everything go smoothly when it could all fall apart. They did well today and we won a major battle. The enemy was forced to retreat and they lost valuable land.
It was a bad day with good out comes.
I am just relieved no one died.
Thank you for the idea though.
Love
Harry
****
Hermione
I know I should stop writing to you and all. I know you will not want anything to do with me once this is all over. If this ever ends, that is. The truth is I need to write to someone. I am a sixteen year old surrounded by people who are at least six years older than I am. I am surrounded by people who look at me as one of their own, as though I am their age. And sometimes, I guess I am. However, sometimes I can't get past the fact I should be sitting in a class writing down whatever Professor McGonagall is saying, or trying not to talk back when Snape says something nasty.
I am sixteen years old and I am in command of two battalions now. How in Merlin's name is this possible? I haven't even passed my NEWTs yet and here I am commanding six hundred people and they are not questioning me. I just tell them to do something and they do and this scares me. I am not perfect; I'm not even a prefect.
The other day I was eating in the chow hall, I was sitting in my normal spot, when this snobbish looking dude just storms into the hall. He demands to know where the Commanding officer is and why he isn't at his table.
I have a table?
Anyway, he thought me the lowest of scum when he realized I was eating, not only in the same room as the troops, but with them. Eww… anyway, I can't say I was impressed with him at all. Then again, no one told me I had to eat separate from the troops.
To hell with that, I am not changing now. I wouldn't have listened anyway.
Not that that surprises you any.
I just sometimes feel as though there are things I don't understand. I try not to let on, but some know. I'm okay with it most of the time. But sometimes, I feel I need to talk to someone my own age, someone who can relate to me. Then I realize no one is left.
I am alone.
And I accept this so long as my mission here is achieved and my words ring true. I will not stop fighting until Voldemort is gone, until I have fulfilled my destiny.
I am nobody, I am no one special. I am just a scared, scarred boy who is trying to live through each day.
So I settle for writing to you, even though I know you will never read it. It is after all November and I have heard nothing from anyone. I guess this is my version of a journal.
The pathetic life of Harry James Potter and how no one wants to know him, or his life; so what do you think of that title. I just might have to write it someday. It's not like I'm not doing my homework for school or anything like that. My homework's getting all red from Snape and even a few nice commentaries from Professor McGonagall and even Professor Flitwick.
Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that part before.
Not only am I currently in command of two battalions, and possibly a third one. Not only that but I still have to keep up with my studies.
At least I sleep at night.
Most of the times at least, but living the life I am does cause dreams to occur from time to time.
I better go; I think my second in command just found my prank. So I best disappear before he finds me.
Love
Sixteen year old Harry
Hermione reaches up and wipes away her tears as she lets the words sink into her brain. Her heart is thumping wildly against her chest as she realizes he never expected her to care, he expected her to hate him for fighting in the war. Closing her eyes she leans her head back against the wall behind her, the tears still coming, as she tries to place herself in Harry's shoes. He feels betrayed by their secrecy, and yet he still writes to her.
Hermione hears the door to the dorm open and she tries to ignore the giggling of Lavender and Parvati, she tries to ignore the fact they are standing there acting as though a war isn't going on and that someone they know isn't out there fighting so they don't have to. Opening her eyes she looks down at the parchment she had placed there to remember things to make comments about, only to find her original set of scratches are all that appears upon the paper.
Hermione smiles softly as she realizes he doesn't want to hear how worried she is about him, well, not overly much. For she knows she will put that in the letters, but more importantly she will put the life a sixteen year old within the pages she will send him. She will be his connection to people his age, she will try and tell him, that though he is alone, he isn't alone. And so with this in mind she gathers up the parchment and begins to write her first letter. She begins right off with telling him how very proud she is of him and how very, worried she is and how she can't wait to see him again.
She wrote on and on, trying her best to respond to his letters, trying to get across to him her feelings about what he has been through, what he is going through and how much she cares about him. Though she didn't place within the letters how much she loves him, she wants to do that face to face, if she gets the courage to do it at all. She told him everything about what happened with Ron. She confessed over a years worth of secrets and tried her best to tell him how much she really does trust him. She tried to explain how she reacted to the news of him being in the military. And lastly she tried to explain how much she missed him.
****
Hermione looks up as the portrait to the Common Room opens, allowing Ginny and Neville entrance to the room. Ginny sees Hermione, "Are you going home for Christmas," she asks instantly knowing Hermione would have received her letter by now.
"Mum and dad are going to a convention state side, so I'll be staying here for the holiday," Hermione answers and then shrugs, "It'll be okay," she says as Ginny starts to object.
"Yeah, she'll be getting another letter from Harry," Neville teases.
Hermione sticks her tongue out at the boy before her, "Are you two going to be sending him another letter," she asks almost hopefully.
"I have one from mum," Ginny answers as she pulls two letters from her cloak.
"Mine's up in my room," Neville answers as he points behind him, indicating the stairway.
"How did your rounds go," Hermione asks as she watches once again as Neville blushes as he recalls once again that he has been made a prefect after Ron had been caught doing things no one in the school wanted to know about.
"Great," Ginny says as she flops down in the chair across from Hermione. "Since you started writing Harry, you've been doing much better," she observes uselessly.
Hermione smiles softly as she looks down at her latest letter to Harry. "I still miss him," she says instead of commenting on Ginny's comment.
"We all do," Neville says as he sits down in another chair. "He's the only one who ever really gave me a chance," he whispers softly. "He was the first person to see I had more in me than mistakes," he continues after a moment.
"It's too bad we don't know the name of the company he's in," Ginny suddenly says trying to change the subject from Neville's past.
"I know what you mean," Neville agrees, "though it would be cool if he was in Exspecto Battalion," he says as he remembers all the writing in the Daily Prophet about the Battalion.
"I heard the Commander stays behind until every last soldier is off the battlefield before he himself will leave," Ginny says in agreement.
"And when that one soldier died in the village, I've heard the Commanding officer walked beside the body all the way back to camp," Neville comments in awe of the caring the Commanding officer must have to do that.
"I also heard there are people who are requesting transfers to his two battalions," Ginny continues as Hermione listens to the two of them talking about something they don't really understand. "I also heard the second in command has to refuse said transfers because that would cause them to become three battalions," she says softly in admiration to someone who could cause people to want to join them.
"The papers also say he doesn't consider himself above his troops," Hermione finally adds. Her mind wondering at the similarities in what she is being told now, what she had read herself in the papers and what she has been told from Harry, she places them together and she isn't sure she likes what she's figured out.
"Eats with them and everything," Neville agrees.
Hermione pauses slightly as she turns to look at Neville, "How many Commanders do that," she asks almost fearfully.
"Only Commander Fox," Ginny points out honestly. "Dad says he hears tales about this guy, everyone who meets him is awed by him and yet refuses to tell anyone anything personal about him," she says as she shrugs.
Hermione looks down at her letter and then quickly reaches over for her quill, quickly scribbling a last note on the letter she smiles softly to herself and then folds it up and places it with the rest for the week. "Forget something," Neville asks curiously.
"Nah, I just asked him if he's met Fox," Hermione says as she stands up and takes the letters with her. "Shall we get the letters to the Headmaster," she asks ignoring their questioning expressions.
"I'll go get my letter," Neville says before he takes off up the stairs and to the dorm room.
Within five minutes the three of them were on their way to the Headmaster's office, each off in their own thoughts on the possibility that their friend knows one of the best Commanding officers in the military.
****
Hermione looks down at her letter once again, hating the fact she is writing this now and Harry won't receive it until four days after Christmas. She hates he has to spend Christmas away from people who truly care about him, away from her. Ever since she first met him he hasn't spent one Christmas alone and she is grateful for this. That is until now.
Though she knows he really isn't alone, she also knows this is one of the times he should be a sixteen year old boy and not a Commanding officer of three battalions. He should be here with her as she sits in front of the warm fire rather than freezing out there in the unfriendly glacial night air. In her heart she wants him there enclosed in her arms as she holds him close to her, never letting go.
Since she found out the name of his company she has been watching the papers for it daily, she has been reading everything she can about the company. From what she can tell Harry is a great leader, everyone wants to be with him, to be under his command. Everyone thinks he's a great leader, that is, everyone except himself. She is surprised to learn that his second in command is none other than Remus Lupin and Alastor Moody. She is pleased to know he at least has someone who is close to him, with him on Christmas. She just wishes she were too.
Placing her letter away she heads down to dinner, knowing in her heart she doesn't want to eat alone. She wants Harry with her as she eats the holiday meal. With a sigh she makes her way down to the nearly empty Great Hall. She is the only Gryffindor to have remained for the holiday and it seems only five other students have remained behind as well. Sliding into place at the only table centered in the center of the Hall she looks over at the Headmaster and smiles softly in greeting. He doesn't talk, he just nods his head in agreement of not only her greeting but her feelings as well.
Minerva McGonagall arrives not too much later and sits down beside the Headmaster. Her aged eyes scan the remaining group, her eyes settling on Hermione, with a soft sigh of regret she looks to the Headmaster and nods just once. The Headmaster nods in return and instantly food appears on the plates before the remaining people at Hogwarts.
Silence is the order of the meal. With Christmas just a few short days away, no one seems to be in the mood for celebrating. "Have you heard anything about Fox, Albus," Minerva finally whispers, not knowing Hermione knows the truth about the call sign, or at least the truth about who it is.
"They haven't been heard from since they marched into the Badlands in the east," Albus says softly knowing very well that Hermione knows who they are talking about.
"That was last Saturday Albus," Minerva says and the worry can be heard in her voice.
"Fox would not go into such territory if he did not think he should," Albus says softly, the concern evident in his eyes.
"But the Badlands, there is nothing in the Badlands," Minerva proclaims.
"Had that been true, Fox would not have gone there," Albus points out.
"I'm just scared," Minerva finally admits. "What if he doesn't make it out of this," she asks as she pushes her food around on her plate, not knowing her actions are being mirrored by both Hermione and Albus.
"I don't know," Albus reluctantly points out softly.
Before Minerva can respond the doors to the Great Hall fly open and Fred and George Weasley come running into the Hall. "What is the meaning of this," Minerva demands as she watches them make their way to the Headmaster, blood covering their clothes.
"It's happened," one of the twins says as they reach the table.
"What's happened," one of the other students demand.
"I didn't know you two were," Minerva starts and then her mind finally grasps what is being told to them. Instantly she stands up and starts to follow the aged Headmaster as he follows the twins out of the door. "Ms. Granger," she calls over her shoulder not bothering to slow down, but actually speeding up. "Follow me," she finishes as the door closes behind her.
Hermione wasted no time in catching up with the twins and the two Professors, her mind wondering what is going on and just why they are heading to the Hospital Wing. Finally her stunned mind catches up with her and she realizes just what is going on, "HARRY," she shouts out as she runs faster than she ever has. The adrenaline kicking in, in a way she never knew. Before she realized she left the others behind she was already pushing the doors to the Hospital Wing open, only to close her eyes as she sees the blood covered floor and the bloody form of the person she has been so wishing to see.
Within a breath's moment she was at the bed side, standing next to Remus who is helping Madam Pomfrey to try and save him. In the distance she can hear the many different spells being cast, in the back of her mind she knows they are last resort spells. At the moment however, her eyes are fixed upon the face of the boy she loves with all her heart. "Don't you dare die on me Harry," she hears Remus shouting out in an inhuman voice.
"We're losing him," Madam Pomfrey shouts out a second later.
"He's not breathing," Minerva shouts out as she joins the action.
"He's not going to make it," one of the twins cries out.
Ignoring the gasps from the Professors, Hermione steps forwards and places her hand upon Harry's bloody forehead. She leans over him and gently kisses his lips, and then moves closer to his ear, not caring about the blood she is getting on her, "I love you Harry," she whispers not knowing everyone within the room can hear her. "Don't you leave me alone Harry, I don't think I can live without you, come back to me," she whispers softly. Suddenly the form beneath her hands starts to breathe.
"He's breathing," Madam Pomfrey points out uselessly.
****
For the next three days, Harry was in and out of danger, he kept crashing and then suddenly he was okay only to be knocking on death's door a moment later. It was the longest three days of Hermione's life. She never left his side, not even to eat. She and Remus had set up vigil beside him, neither talking, afraid to break the slight hold Harry has on life. Both watching over him, waiting for him to show signs of being out of the woods. It was on the third day Remus finally spoke, "He's thankful that you were writing him and so am I," he whispers softly into the silent room.
"I would've written earlier had I know he wasn't just avoiding me," Hermione says as tears form in her eyes once again.
Remus reaches up and moves some of Harry's hair off his face, "He told me when he'd gotten it cut," he says referring to his haircut, "That he'd gotten tired of his unruly hair and if it was going to be such, it was going to be short and unruly, then it would look more stylish rather than scruffy looking," he says his thoughts on another day long before now, seemingly years before now.
Hermione smiles at the image this conjures in her mind, "I can see him saying that," she admits with a shake of her head as she watches Remus move Harry's hair. Her eyes then travel down to Harry's hand that is incased in her own. "What was it like seeing him in command," she finally asks. "He told me how afraid he was, how much he didn't think he wasn't any good, but I know he isn't telling me what everyone else sees," she says as she looks up and into the caring eyes of her former Professor.
"It was an amazing sight," Remus admits with a proud smile. "No one knew he was afraid, he acted as though he was born to lead. When Davison died it was hard on everyone, but I personally know Harry took it hardest. He walked next to Davison all the way back, even though he himself was injured, Harry walked with the body even though he knew Davison was dead and anyone else would have just left the body for someone else to deal with. Not our Harry. After the body was placed upon the bed in the hospital tent he spoke to everyone asking them to write some of their fond memories of Davison so he could send them to the family, he then went to his tent to write the family. A while later he came out of his tent, dressed in his full dress uniform, he then slowly, silently, and respectfully made his way to Davison's tent. He saluted the tent before he would enter it, and when he did, he placed each piece of property within the box with the utmost respect. When he finished he exited the tent and saluted it again. Only this time, everyone else was in dress uniform as well and saluted too. It was an amazing sight to see," he tells her as he watches the still form before them.
"You could feel not only the sadness from each person but the respect as well. If anyone had any doubt in their mind about weather or not Harry cared for them, they didn't then. When news of this got around, the requests for transfers started coming in at an alarming rate," Remus continues softly. "When it was time for dinner, the mess hall was decked out in black, everyone knew why, I knew where he learned it, but it worked. Once everyone was seated and it was almost time for dinner to start, Harry stood and asked for a moment of silence to remember our fallen friend. You could hear a pin drop it was so silent. I will never forget that day. Never," Remus proclaims.
"He never told me what he ended up doing, just that he didn't know what to do. He did tell me about the dinner part," Hermione says softly as she watches the slow rise and fall of his chest.
"There's just so many amazing stories to tell, every day something new would happen and everyone would turn to look at Harry and see how he's taking it. If Harry was worried then there was something to be worried about. If it didn't seem to bother Harry, then they knew they could live through it. I knew of his internal conflict, but I too looked to him," Remus admits. "And when he came up with the Portkey idea and didn't make one for himself, I nearly hung him. I mean the nerve of him giving me a Portkey when he had none. I would hear nothing of it," Remus says thus confirming Hermione's suspicions on who had been that second in command.
"He talked about a prank," Hermione prompts wanting to know if Harry had been able to keep his childhood somewhat alive.
"Honestly, he's worse than his father," Remus laments, but it fails miserably by the proud marauder twinkle in his eyes. "There was this one time, when I had had the worst possible day. I had just come back from a night after the full moon. I walked into my tent to find everything gone. I was livid. Then I looked up at the roof of the tent, only to burst out laughing. There on the roof was my stuff, exactly like I had left it. Well as close as he could get it, given that it was upside down. I think I shouted his name and I know for a fact I chased him throughout the camp for at least an hour, laughing all the while. It was a good prank," Remus declares with a soft nod of his head.
"Good," a raspy voice whispers, "It took me nearly six hours to do it, it had better be more than just good," the voice continues.
"Harry," both Remus and Hermione ask as one. If they hadn't heard his voice they wouldn't believe he was the one talking. His eyes were still closed and he is still as pale as a ghost.
Slowly Harry's eyes open to reveal two bloodshot, but as far as Hermione was concerned, beautiful green eyes. "Hey," he whispers weakly.
"Madam Pomfrey," Remus shouts over his shoulder. "How you feeling," he asks as he looks down at the boy he considers his son.
"I've been better," Harry responds in a cracked voice.
Hermione reaches up and brushes her hand across his cheat, he turns slightly and looks at her, he smiles softly in greeting. "Hey you," Hermione says softly ignoring the sound of Madam Pomfrey making her way to them. "I've missed you so," she says softer still, loving the fact she can see his eyes once again.
"As I have missed you," Harry says in response. "I must be dreaming," he whispers after a moment as he continues to look at Hermione.
"Why do you say that Mr. Potter," Poppy asks as she waves her wand over his still form.
"There's an angel by my bed and she looks like Hermione," Harry answers still watching Hermione.
"I'm not an angel Harry," Hermione says trying to contain her blush.
"Sure you are," Harry counters as he shakes his head slightly. "You're my angel," he whispers as he starts to cough roughly. "I need to get a message to Professor Dumbledore," he says once he gets his coughing under control.
"We'll tell him," Remus assures him.
"Tell him, mission fulfilled," Harry says as he closes his eyes, acting as though they are the heaviest things in the world. "I'm so tired," he says softer still as sleep takes him once again.
"The road back to normal is a long and difficult one, he will survive, but he may never be as he once was," Madam Pomfrey declares with a smile. "There will be a lot of pain ahead of him and he will not be returning to the field for at least a year, if at all," she explains to Remus.
"I don't ever want him back out there, if I could have any say in it," Remus declares.
"I fully agree," Hermione adds in knowing her word doesn't matter, but at least she voiced her opinion of what she feels.