Four Little Words

Chapter Fifteen

"Now, are you sure that you want to buy all of this?" Emmeline asked, nervously. Lily was standing obstinately at a towel display in a home furnishing store. She was throwing towel after towel into the basket, determined to fill it to the brim.

"Yes, Em," she replied, testily. "If he wants to sell the flat, he's perfectly entitled to sell the flat."

It had been about two weeks since the "grand breakup." Since then, the two of them had been having small skirmishes all over the Auror offices. The first big explosion happened when James caught wind of the location of Lily's new flat (after she had moved out of his mother's house). He thought it his business to inform her of her poor choice of locale, and she thought it ridiculous that he thought it was his business to care. At one point during the argument, James had informed Lily that he was breaking their lease and moving out of their old flat and that she should get her "junk." She had responded by telling him that he could "shove it up his arse." Then she had stormed off, headed straight for the nearest housing department, Emmeline in tow.

"But...don't you have things left at your flat? You've got perfectly good towels," Emmeline said, cautiously.

"I don't want those bloody towels. He's used them," she moved on to sheets in the next display. "And I most definitely don't want his bloody sheets."

"Lily," Emmeline put her hand on Lily's shoulder. "I know you don't want to use the things from your old flat, but this is going to be a lot of money. You never know, you could end up back together."

Lily shrugged her hand off. "I don't want-"

"I'll help you wash all of them," Emmeline offered. "I don't want to see you throw away your hard-earned money."

"I can handle it," Lily pushed the shopping cart forwards. "I'm not poor, you know."

"I know you can handle it, but wouldn't your money be better spent on a spa treatment or a vacation? A back massage?" Emmeline offered.

"No."

Emmeline sighed and stopped in the middle of the aisle. This was getting to be a little annoying. Lily was about to spend nearly a month's pay on housewares she was not going to need for very long, because she was clearly not thinking straight.

Suddenly Emmeline had an idea.

"Wait a second, Lily!" Emmeline said, a small smile coming to her face at her cleverness. "You want to piss of James, right?"

Lily stopped and turned around, interested. "Yes...?"

"Well, what would piss him off more than if you went to your flat and got all of his stuff. He may have wanted it all, right?"

"Hm..." Lily seemed to be thinking this over. "He did mention something about....." she trailed off, a smile forming as well.

"So why don't you and I raid your flat and see what we can take?" Emmeline nodded.

"Great idea!" Lily pushed the cart away from her. "Let's go!" She marched down the aisle towards the door.

The first thing Lily did when she appeared in the flat was balk at the sight of it. Clearly James had been living there, and clearly he knew nothing about cleaning. Either that or he was doing this just to spite her.

"Typical," she said under her breath and treaded towards the bedroom. The bed was not made, and his clothes were thrown everywhere and the room itself had a particular smell to it. Even in her ire, Lily's heart skipped a beat.

"So...let's get started, shall we?" Emmeline smiled. Lily's resolve came back and she nodded, headed for the closet.

"I know I left some things here, let's see if they've remained untouched," she said, flinging open the door. It was not hard to find her clothes, for they were the only ones left on the hanger. Everything else was in a large pile on the ground.

"No wonder his robes have looked so wrinkled," Lily sighed, stepping through the pile daintily and reaching her own. She unhooked them from the bar and carried them out, taking one final disapproving look inside.

She nearly dropped the clothes when she saw what Emmeline was holding. Clearly, she had thought it a good idea to strip the bed, but had found a very worn brown teddy bear underneath James' pillow.

"Look what I found," Emmeline smiled. "Is this James'?"

Lily put the clothes on the bed and gently took the bear from her. "Yeah," she said, quietly, staring at it.

"Are you ok?" Emmeline asked, noticing the half-wistful look in her eye.

"Yeah," she nodded, running her hand along the button eyes that had fallen off so many times that they had to be attached by magic.

She was thinking about the first time she saw it. It had been their first night home from their seventh year, and the day after they had made love for the first time. They had just finished putting all of James' things away in his room, and he'd suddenly taken her into his arms and began kissing her so sweetly. Before either of them knew it, they were making love again on his bed. While in the throes of passion, Lily's hand grasped upon something soft and fuzzy. When she pulled it out, her jaw dropped.

James had turned beet red from the tip of his hairline to the bottom of his toes and had started stuttering. Clearly, this soft and fuzzy teddy bear was not something he wanted the world to know about.

He confessed to her after a few minutes of stuttering that he'd slept on that bear since he was a baby and that, at home, he could not get a good night's sleep without it. Lily had found it more than adorable and had placed the bear back behind the pillow, giving James a reassuring kiss that she would keep his secret, and then they had continued.

"Lily?" Emmeline asked, nudging her a bit because she had gone very quiet.

"Yes, well," Lily cleared her throat, frowning down at the bear. "This stays, everything else comes with me."

So she placed the bear on the dresser and they set to stripping the bed. Then they toured the rest of the house and took all of the dishes, one couch (which was cast upon a Reduction Charm and put into Lily's purse), and all of the kitchen and bathroom towels. Once they had assembled their bounty on top of the bed and wrapped it all up in two giant sheets, Lily cast a haughty expression around the room.

"Go get my junk, Potter? Well, let's see how you like this!" Emmeline hoisted the bag over her shoulder without saying anything and Disapparated. Lily was about to follow her when she saw the little brown bear on the dresser.

She walked over to it, aware now that she was alone, and smiled a little bit. She picked it up and put it at the head of the bed, laying it just how James always had it. The bed was completely bare now, just a mattress and a little brown bear on top of it.

With one final look at the forlorn sight, she Disapparated.

Unfortunately, the sight stayed with her for the rest of the afternoon. And it wasn't just the sight either. She kept returning to the night she'd discovered the bear; how she felt and how he felt against her and she just couldn't get a damn thing done. So she'd ventured down to the coffee pot for a bit of relaxation.

She put the cup right under her nose and took a deep breath.

It smelled disgusting, but if she closed her eyes, it sort of smelled like some sort of warped vanilla. She reached down for a spoon of sugar when her hand smacked against someone else's.

"Oh..." she said, withdrawing her hand. James sniffed and stood back, silently offering her the sugar first.

She nodded and scooped a few into her coffee, stirring it with a wooden stick. He was standing so close, and all she could think about was the way his chest heaved, glistening with sweat.

"I see you took your stuff," he said, coldly.

She nodded; she could hear him panting in the darkness.

"Half of that was mine, you know," he snorted, putting his cup down and pouring a bit of creamer into it.

She was so distracted by the way he was crying her name that she started pouring sugar into his coffee like she used to do.

"Hey!" James glared at her. "Stop it!"

Lily finally came back to herself. "Sorry..."

James, who was taking the act as a challenge to his independence, growled at her and put two more spoonfuls of sugar into his cup. He did it with such fervor and intended malice that Lily nearly giggled. He was too cute when he was angry; his hair seemed to get more messy.

Lily sipped her coffee to hide her smile. "It'll be too sweet."

James snorted and put another spoonful in to spite her.

"Suit yourself," Lily said, nudging him slightly. "See you later...." She left James, who was staring at her, confused, and rounded the corner. Once she was out of sight, she pressed her back against the wall and closed her eyes.

What was coming over her? She was suddenly falling in love with him again...she couldn't stop thinking about the way he used to kiss her and the way that he used to hold her and the way that he used to make her laugh and...

Tears were welling up in her eyes just thinking about it. She did miss him, terribly in fact. But she promised herself that she would not go back to him, not after he'd gone out and shagged the first skirt he'd seen. Because if he'd do it once, he'd do it again.

She wiped her cheeks when she heard footsteps headed her way and she quickly left the wall towards her office, where she could get some privacy.

"Lily has gone nuts, Padfoot," James said, closing the door behind him.

"More than usual, you mean?" Sirius said, flipping through his magazine of naked women. James did a double-take.

"The hell have you got there?" he sputtered. "And why are you looking at it in public?!"

"Oh..." Sirius looked down at the magazine. "I enjoy the contortions."

"The what?" James blinked.

"The girls," he held up the magazine. "See how she puts her ankle over her head? I always enjoy looking at the human body in various odd positions. Something very artistic and beautiful about it."

"Padfoot, that's her...." James felt a hot blush cross his face.

"Yes, I know that's what it is, I've seen it several times before, but I'm not looking at that. Look at the angle of her arm...can you do that?"

"Mate, put it away..."

"Fine, fine, fine," Sirius opened up his drawer and put it on top of the other dirty magazines. "Now, what about your Lily?"

"She's not mine anymore," James pouted. "But she's gone bloody nuts."

"How so?" Sirius put his feet up on his desk, on top of some very important documents.

"She's being...nice..."

"Isn't that usually what civil people do?"

"Not just that but..." James shook his head. "She's acting like before, when we were..."

"When you were about to get married?" Sirius filled in for him, smiling.

"Yeah well...clingy and all that..."

"You are hardly one to talk, Mr. Prongs-"

"My point, is that I don't want her to be ‘clingy.'"

"And my point is that though you keep espousing that you're through with her and all that crap, you've yet to find another girl. Or think about another girl. Or even go try to see another girl. Except the one girl that started this whole mess."

"Well....I don't want another girl...they're too much trouble..."

"Yes, and I'm going to go celibate for the next twenty years because I think it suits me," Sirius rolled his eyes. "When are you going to stop being a stubborn arse and go make up with your girlfriend and stop bugging the shit out of me!"

"Why do I have to cater to your needs all the bloody time?!" James stood up. "I'm always bugging you, I'm always annoying you! Why can't this be an equal relationship?!"

Sirius blinked and then cleared his throat, taking his feet off the table and putting his elbows on the table slowly. He licked his lips and looked up at James and said, "You sound like a pouf."

James closed his mouth. "Sorry."

"It's all right, I forgive you, this once, I suppose," Sirius resumed his former position. "After all, I lived with you for seven years...you can't hide that from me..."

James walked to the door and peered out the window. He spied Lily who was staring off into space thoughtfully. She did have a very cute nose on her, especially with all of those freckles. He tried to count them once, and gave up at twenty-three...

"If you're going to drool, please drool over the trash can," Sirius interrupted his thoughts. "Because you've got that stupid expression Lily's had on her face for the entire afternoon."

"So you have noticed it!" James turned around.

"I'm not blind. Besides, you were doing the exact same thing. Probably thinking about the many nights you spent in each other's arms or some other tosh like that."

James felt a healthy blush come to his face and Sirius retched.

"Mate, I didn't want to know!"

"Well, I'm going to go get back to work, I guess..." James said, running his hand through his hair. "I'll figure out what to do with the batty one later...."

"I'm telling you, walk in there, grab her and snog her senseless, you two will be back at home together and making my godchildren," Sirius said, not taking his eyes off the ink bottle as he pushed it with his index finger.

"That's all you want out of this, isn't it?"

"Yup," Sirius nodded. "Now hurry up and go shag her."

"I'm not going to go shag her-"

James was interrupted when the door opened. Emmeline walked inside, very pale and shaking slightly.

"It's...Marlene...they..."