Title: A Different Perspective
Author: Michelle
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the plot. All characters are from the mind of JK Rowling. No money is being made from this and no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Sometimes I wonder why exactly humans think that they're in charge of us. They do absolutely everything for us; we get to sleep whenever we want, wherever we want. Yes, that does include My Girl's black robes. Oh, I've forgotten to introduce myself in the midst of all this ranting. I am Crookshanks.
A Different Perspective
Sometimes I wonder why exactly humans think that they're in charge of us. They do absolutely everything for us; we get to sleep whenever we want, wherever we want. Yes, that does include My Girl's black robes. Oh, I've forgotten to introduce myself in the midst of all this ranting. I am Crookshanks, a cat I'll add. But, alas, I am not your average cat, no. I am also half-kneazle, so behold the awesome power that is me!
Okay, so back to the ranting. Humans are not really that smart; it just takes them about thirteen years to realize it. That's why they are all-of-the-sudden so "independent" and moody when they're thirteen. Well, there's also the puberty thing, which I never really understood, but I don't believe that play an intricate part in the change that happens the second they turn thirteen. Then it takes them another three years to fully comprehend how moronic they really are.
So, how, you ask, do they wind up thinking they're in charge? Well, it's simple. See, cats (and half-kneazles of course) are slyer, more mischievous, and just are honestly better than humans. Maybe some people would call this evil, but you have to remember; humans are idiots. We are also (as I've established) smarter than them as well. It didn't take us long to figure out that we could get them to do almost anything for us if we let them think they were in charge. So, now, here we are.
Well, I'm here in the common room. I think I want a massage. I walk (oh so gracefully) over to My Girl. She's sitting on the big red couch. And, hey, what is this? The Boy is sitting next to her! He's in my spot. I don't do anything rash; that would be stupid. I sit calmly just far enough away from him that he'd have to get up to get me. I sit here, look pretty and wait. About a minute later he reaches down and tries to pick me up. I jump between his legs onto my spot. Yes, my spot.
The Red-Haired One learned more quickly. But he was molded easier because he was younger. I also had claws then. My Girl giggles slightly and pats me on the head. The Boy turned around and made a move to move me. How dare he!? I bare my teeth for a quick second while She's not looking. Ah, he learns. He sat down on the other side of the couch. I roll my cat eyes.
There is another reason for my belief that humans are stupid. My Girl (yes, My Girl) likes The Boy. The Boy likes My Girl. You don't believe me? Well, you're human, that's understandable. But I'm half-kneazle; I know these things! The Red-Haired One has dozed off again. Some things you just cannot teach. Before My Girl notices I hop off the couch and start walking towards my safe zone. She looks up and sees The Red-Haired One.
My Girl yells at him for a bit but I'm not going to get into that. It gets dull after awhile. I retreat to my corner and wait for them to stop. I come out of my safe spot (big heavy objects can't fit in here!) and walk back to the couch. The-Red-Haired One has left, thank God. A fellow "red-head" should be amusing to have around. He used to be fun to have around. I'm much fonder of The Boy though. He doesn't pay me much mind.
My Girl scoots closer to him. "I thought he'd never leave." She said in his ear.
Are you wondering how I heard? I'm a cat; I have super hearing! The Boy leans in to kiss her and I roll my kitty eyes. It gets a little more intense. Dear God, what are they doing? GET OFF MY GIRL! I jump up on his back and bite his ear. I would have used my claws, but My Girl saw fit to remove them after The Incident. The Boy yells loudly and throws me off of him. I land on all four feet. What did I tell you? Cat's (especially the half-kneazle kind) rock.
My Girl makes sure he's not bleeding. Drat, I didn't break the skin; I am ashamed. I hang my little kitty head. In my self-hatred moment they start doing That again. This time there is none of It so I'm satisfied. I walk out of the room giggling to myself. Imagine that. He is teachable after all. What did I tell you? Cats are so smart.
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