Unofficial Portkey Archive

SGR's Note: I figured, after such a long break, I'd be v. nice and update early. Plus, I have a test in Spanish so I'll be back here early to work on this some more.

That and I really like this chapter.

Thanks for all of your kind thoughts with the manuscript. I am determined to be published, and that's all there is to it!

"I'll never leave, I'll never stray,
My love for you will never change,
But I ain't ready to make up,
We'll get around to that.
...I just wanna be mad for a while."
-I Just Wanna Be Mad, Terri Clark

Those Who Have Thrice Defied Him
Chapter Five

Lily put down another box in the bedroom and looked around. It was two in the morning, and it had been a week since she had given birth. Harry had just been released, now a whopping eight pounds, eight ounces, and 19.88 inches. He was in his new crib that had been hastily put up next to their bed while they transferred the rest of their stuff from their old flat into this small house in the middle of a remote Scottish village about an hour's drive from Hogwarts.

"Honey?" James said, walking in with another box. "There's still stuff in there."

"Yeah," Lily nodded, turning and following James. They had been driving for ten hours straight up from their old flat in London, with an old car that Dumbledore had found for them. Neither Lily or James being excellent drivers, James sat at the wheel while magic drive the car. This was a bit of a problem when two Muggles in the car next to them turned to see James' legs sticking out of the backseat while he retrieved a snack.

They had used an Enlargement Charm, on the backseat to fit in everything from their flat, and they were about done moving everything in.

"Are you all right?" James asked, looking at her, as he picked up a giant box. A ghost of a smile passed by her face watching his muscles flex and bulge.

"Yes, just tired is all," she whispered, stacking up another load of clothes in her arms. James paused to look at her. She had been looking increasingly paler day by day, and it had been ages since he had seen her smile.

He maneuvered the box out of the way and kissed her forehead. "Everything's going to be all right..."

"I know," Lily said, unconvinced, walking back into the small house.

James watched her, unsure of what was going on or what he could do for her. Closing the trunk, he followed her inside and put the box down in the kitchen. He heard crying from the bedroom and trotted in there, finding Lily nursing Harry in the rocking chair next to the moonlit window.

"Well!" James exclaimed, looking around. "It's our first house, Lily!"

She nodded, not looking at him. He cleared his throat and sat down on the bed, watching them together. It still put a smile on his face to watch her nurse the baby, even if he'd watched it fifty times before.

"How's our little mate?" James asked, trying to be cheery.

"He's fine," Lily whispered, looking about three inches to the right of her baby.

"What is it, Baby?" James scooted off the bed and over to her, kneeling next to her. "Why won't you smile for me?"

"I'm tired," she snapped, just as Harry finished. "Here, take the baby, I'm going to bed." She handed James the baby and went to go lay down on the bed.

"Honey-"

"Leave me alone," she barked, getting dressed in a nightgown and climbing into bed, pulling the blankets over her head.

Harry was murmuring so James decided to take him out of the room for the time being. He rocked him gently and brought him to the kitchen. He pulled off the blanket that was wrapped around Harry and put it on the table and then placed Harry on top of it.

"Hey there mate," James cooed, taking Harry's socked feet and kissing them. "Are you awake now, buddy?"

Harry made gurgling sounds.

"I....love you!" James said, playing peek-a-boo with Harry's feet. "I....love you!"

"What are you doing?" Lily said, hair a mess, and bathrobe hastily wrapped around her body.

"Playing with him," James said, patting Harry on the stomach. "What do you...need..." Lily had marched past him to the fridge and swung it open, looking at the sparse contents inside. She did find something that she wanted though.

"...since when do you drink?" James said, watching her make off with two bottles of firewhisky. She didn't reply, and was gone before he could say anything else. James looked down at Harry with a quizzical expression and sighed; Harry was asleep again.

"Something is quite wrong with your Mummy, Harry," James whispered, picking Harry up gently and walking back into the bedroom. Lily wasn't in bed, but the bathroom door was shut, and the light was on.

James put the baby in his crib and walked over to the bathroom door, knocking.

"Baby?"

"Go away!" she snapped, and James could hear that she was crying.

"Lily-"

"Go away, or I swear I'll hex you!" she sniffed. "Just leave me the bloody hell alone!!"

Backing away from the door slowly, James walked back to the bed and laid down, trying to wait up for Lily, but falling asleep before she finally staggered to bed.

"Where's my godson!?" Sirius said, bursting through the door, a giant grin on his face, Remus following behind him. The two of them had gone to great lengths to make sure that no one was following them, traveling by Floo, and then by air on Sirius' motorcycle and then riding on the ground for an hour, taking backroads and wooded areas to get to the quaint little village. "Where's my neffy-poo!"

"Good to see you too, mate," James laughed, going to greet them at the door. "But do me a favor and knock next time. You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Forgive him, he has no manners. He was so excited he nearly peed himself on the way over." Remus was brushing off his shirt and trousers, as they were quite dusty. He also had the tell-tale goggle marks around his eyes, but he wiped it off with his sleeve.

"No, Moony, that was you," Sirius, who didn't even care that he was covered from head to toe in dust. "You nearly blew my eardrums with your screaming."

"Yes, well, you nearly took out that poor old woman-"

"Pssh, I missed her by a good foot and a half," Sirius rolled his eyes and approached James, hands out. "Now! Lemme see my godson!"

James was eyeing him unapprovingly. "You're dirty."

"So?"

"You can't hold me two week old son covered in dust!" he said, looking at his best mate as if Sirius was a Dementor.

"Look who's grown up!" Remus cheered.

Sirius glowered and Scourgified himself and then held out his arms. Very carefully, James deposited Harry into Sirius' arms, and placed a blue blanket on Sirius' shoulder.

"What's this for?" Sirius asked.

"Well, I just fed him, so he might spit up," James said, cautiously backing away. He was still eyeing Sirius uncomfortably.

"Deep breathes, Prongs," Remus chuckled, sitting down on the couch after fully cleaning himself up. "Sirius is not going to run off with your baby."

"I just don't want him to drop him," James said, barely blinking. "Lily's already been mean enough lately without having to add to it."

"You've been here three days and you've already pissed her off?" Sirius said, cooing down at Harry who made baby gurgling noises. "Your daddy's not very smart, is he, Harry?"

"It's not me, I swear!" James said, looking to Remus, as Remus was more intelligent in this area. "She's just...been a real bitch lately."

"More than usual you mean?" Sirius asked, in a baby voice. At the look on James' face, he gave a nervous laugh. "Kidding, mate."

"I'm really worried about her," James said, standing as the tea kettle whistled. "She keeps a case of firewhisky in the bathroom, and locks herself in there a lot, crying. She doesn't want to even be around the baby anymore."

"Sounds about right," Remus said, thinking aloud.

"What?" James said, shocked. "You mean, this is normal?"

"Does Lily have any sort of pregnancy book?" Remus asked standing. "Or a post-natal book, or anything of that sort?"

"They might be in that box over there, but be quiet, I don't want to wake Lily."

"Never tickle a sleeping dragon?" Sirius snickered.

"Wiser words were never spoken," James nodded, watching Remus sift around in the still unpacked boxes. He looked down at Harry and smiled a bit at Sirius. "Sorry I snapped at you mate."

"What snapping?" Sirius said, putting Harry on his knees and bouncing him slightly. "Your daddy's under a lot of stress, isn't he Harry? You've caused us a lot of trouble, and you're not even a month old! What else....ew."

James could not hold in a snort. Harry had opened his mouth and projectile vomited all over Sirius' face. Without looking at Sirius, James handed him the blue towel, which he used, slowly.

"I want you to know, Harry, that even though you just spit up on me, I still love you-"

WHAM.

Remus was the first in her line of sight, so she stalked over to him and ripped the book out of his hands, glaring maniacally.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Lupin?" she asked, a dangerous tone in her voice.

Remus, clearly too terrified of this new, skeery!Lily, shook his head meekly and flattened himself against the wall.

"And you!" She reared on the two on the couch. "You're...breathing too loudly!"

The two of them stopped breathing.

"My head hurts," she announced, looking around at them all haughtily. "So I would appreciate it if you would all keep it down."

No three words were uttered more scarier.

Without another word, she walked back into the bedroom and slammed the door, causing Harry to break out into whimpering cries. Sirius was quick to start calming him, bouncing him on his knees and cooing to him.

"Well," Remus cleared his throat softly and went back into the books. "That answers that."

"See?!" James hissed, looking at the two of them. "She's scary!"

"I hope your kid's head doesn't start swivelling," Sirius said, eying Harry oddly.

"'After pregnancy, the new mother might experience mood swings that seem out of place with the joy of birth. This condition, called the postpartum blues, occurs in eight out of every ten mothers." Remus read aloud from a thick book and gave them pointed looks.

"Well, why didn't they say that earlier?" James asked, marching over to Remus and looking over his shoulder. Sirius followed, and the four men (James, Remus, Sirius, and Harry) looked on the book as if it held all the answers to life's questions.

Remus began reading again. "The symptoms for the 'baby blues' are varied. A certain amount of insomnia, irritability, tears, overwhelmed feelings, and mood swings are normal during the first days after childbirth. If the symptoms don't subside, they can lead to postpartum depression, which is much more serious."

"What are the symptoms of that?" James asked eyeing the book.

"Depressed mood, loss of pleasure in either all or almost all of your daily activities, appetite and weight change, extreme fatigue or loss of energy, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, with no reasonable cause..."

"Thoughts about death or suicide!!!" James blanched. "What?!"

"You don't think Lily is..." The three of them eyed the door while Harry quietly spit up on Remus' shoulder.

"What does it say to do?" James said, a definite panic in his voice.

"Be supportive of the new mother, encourage friends to come by, get regular exercise, get outside in the sunlight, avoid alcohol-" The three of them shot a look to the door. "And ask for help when you need it."

"Right then," James said, standing up straight and looking at the door. "I can do that. We can do that together!"

"Yeah!" Sirius cheered. "We're behind you mate!" Even Harry gave a little verbal coo, but that was more for spitting up again.

"Right, on the count of three," James said, a couch pillow bound to his midsection. Sirius had a bowl on his head, and Remus held a chair in front of him, ready to keep the wild lioness within at bay. Harry had been placed in his baby pen because it was deemed "too dangerous" for little children to go into the foreboding room before them.

"One," Sirius said, adjusting the salad bowl and snapping his tongs twice.

"Two," Remus breathed, testing out the chair.

"THREE!" James cried, flinging open the door.

What happened next was hard to say. James sustained what he thought was a broken, but at the very least bloody nose. The bowl on Sirius' head was split in two, which made him not only vulnerable, but a target of wrath, so he was the worst off. Remus had turned tail and fled, which caused him much grief from the other two, but he only expressed concern over the welfare of the baby.

"Ow," James said, putting the napkin to his nose. "I don't tink we hab to worry about suicidal..."

"Homicidal," Sirius grumbled nursing a large bruise that was rising from his expertly wavy hair.

"I think we probably just scared it-her," Remus said, rocking Harry gently. James and Sirius glared at him and his unhurt self. "Maybe James should go by himself?"

"Are you joking?!" James blanched. "I'm not going back in there!!"

"You did marry her," Sirius said, dryly.

James didn't have a smart reply to that.

"Perhaps you should offer to take her on a walk?" Remus said. "Just the three of you? A picnic perhaps?"

"Whoa, James and food preparation don't mix," Sirius said, pressing a wet towel to his bleeding cheek where a pair of tweezers had sliced it. "I think he'd best stick to the walk only."

"I'll have you know that I have sustained myself for the past three days by myself. Harry too!"

"Feeding Harry isn't a great feat, you stick a bottle in his mouth and he sucks," Sirius pointed out. "And you've been eating cereal."

"Pop a man's bubble, why don't you?" James grumbled, taking Harry into his arms and holding him to his chest with a blue towel underneath him to pick up the spit that was currently adorning his two friends.

"Well, we'd best be getting back," Sirius said, standing. "Good luck with your crazy wife, Prongs."

"She's not crazy, she's just hormonal," Remus said, shaking James' hand. "But good luck. Let us know how it turns out."

"If we see him again, it turned out."