Chapter two
Harry had not talked to Hermione in several days. The nightmares had become violently worse, to where some nights Harry would not even bother to go to sleep, he would stay down in the common room all night. He began to write, he didn't know why but he felt better. Most nights he would sit at one of the tables closest to the fire and fill up pages of parchment. School would be out in just a few short weeks, NEWTS were next week, but Harry did not care. He knew that before NEWTS he would have the final meeting with Voldemort.
At the thought of the final battle he began to scribble faster on the parchment in front of him. He knew most of what he was writing didn't make any sense; most of it were random thoughts. Harry stopped writing and looked down at the parchment. He reread what he had just written, and realized he was writing to Hermione. He was putting all his repressed emotions down on paper, he wanted someone to know what he was feeling, he wanted Hermione to understand how he was feeling.
Harry began to write again. His quill was now flying across the parchment as he began to tell her everything. He began with what had happened to him when he was a child living with the Durlsey's. He had never told anyone in detail about the years of abuse he had to suffer. Harry stopped when he began to tell Hermione about the first time he had gotten his letter from Hogwarts, he reread the pages about his childhood and for the first time he felt relieved to have it all out.
Harry's scar began to prickle. He reached up and could feel the heat coming from it. He would have to leave soon. He didn't know where he was going, or if he would ever come back, but he did know that he had to tell Hermione everything, he did not want to leave this world without telling her. He began to write faster, only stopping to dip his quill in some ink or to get a new piece of parchment.
The sun was beginning to rise. He knew Hermione would be down soon, she was putting in a few hours before classes to study more. Harry was almost done, then it was time for him to leave school, it was time for him to fulfill his destiny. He began writing about their confrontation a few nights before. He began to apologize for his behavior over the last few years at school, he told her he wished he could take it all back and do it again. He told her he would not have pushed her away, that he realized now how much he needed her. He knew he needed to leave; the pain from his scar was becoming more intense.
Voldemort was calling him. This time Harry was not going to ignore him; he was going to put an end to the war. He was ready to fight, he told Hermione he was, he told her he was fighting for her, so she would never have to deal with so much pain and ridicule again, he said he was doing it all for her. That everything he did was for her. Harry's head snapped up when he portrait door opened and Remus stepped in.
"It's time Harry." He said. "
I know, just give me a few more minutes." He said and began writing again. He wrote for several more minutes before he looked up at Remus. He was scared, he could see it in his eyes, but Harry wasn't. He knew that if he didn't make it back someone would know everything. He looked back down at the parchment; there was only one more thing that needed to be done.
He began to write:
Hermione there is just one more thing that you need to know before I go. This is something that I have never told anyone, nor have I ever heard it. I don't know when I started to feel this way towards you, but I think it was always there. I didn't realize what this feeling was until tonight. From the moment you walked into the train compartment looking for Trevor I felt something. I love you Hermione Jane Granger, and always have and I always will. Maybe it's not fair of me to tell you this when I may never see you again, but you need to know. I love everything about you.
To me you are perfect. You are the most beautiful person I have ever known. I know you are going to hate me for leaving you, but this is my fight Hermione. Even if you are not by my side during the battle, you are in my heart. You are my conscious. It is always your voice I hear telling me what to do and not to do. I am sorry that I have to leave like this, but I do not think I could tell you good-bye to your beautiful face. I could not stand to see your eye fill with tears and to see the pain that I have caused you when I leave. If it is possible I will come back to you. You are the only reason I have to come back, and I will try my hardest to. I love you with all my heart and soul.
Yours Forever, Harry James Patter.
Harry could feel the tears fight to come, but he pushed them back. He placed the large stack of parchment in the middle of the table, placed a sealing charm on it and left Hermione's name on it. He walked quickly to where Remus was standing and without a word the two men left.
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It had been three months since Harry had left. There had been no word about the battle, all they knew was it was still going on. No one knew if Harry was alive still, but Hermione knew. She knew deep down in her heart that Harry would return to her. Hermione was now living at Grimmauld Place spending her says helping the Order any way she could, but mostly she worried about Harry.
The morning that Harry had left she woke up with a odd feeling, she didn't understand it until she went down to the common room and saw the stack of parchment Harry had left her. As soon as she saw it she knew he was gone. She grabbed the stack and ran out of the room and kept running all the way to Dumbledore's office. She stormed into the headmaster's office and demanded to know where Harry was. The old man would not tell. Hermione began to yell at him and began throwing things at him. The whole time Dumbledore sat quietly at his desk and let her vent. After exhausting herself Hermione slumped to the floor and began to cry. She didn't remember what happened next but when she woke up she was at Grimmauld place sleeping in the bed Harry had used, Sirius's old bedroom.
For a week Hermione did not leave the room. A tray of food was brought up three times a day but she rarely ate it. After that week she would only leave her room to ask if there was any news about Harry, there never was. She soon remembered about the stack of parchment Harry had left her. The first time she read it she cried the whole time.
When she read the last few paragraphs she began to cry even more. Never in her life did she think he would feel the same way she had. She knew then that he would come back, he had to. Every night before bed she would read his words, and she would always find something new about him that made her love him even more.
Three months had passed slowly and Hermione was beginning to get restless, she needed to know where he was, she needed to see him. She knew the rest of the Order knew where he was, but would not tell .It would be impossible to stop her from going after him. Hermione was sitting in the kitchen with Ron and Ginny having lunch when they heard people shouting. Hermione jumped up from her stop and ran towards the noise.
A lot of people had begun entering the house, many she had never seen before. They where all tired and dirty. They where home from the war. She tried to ask several of them what was going on, but no one answered. She asked if they had seen Harry, again no one said a word. She began to push through the people hoping to see someone she knew. Finally she spotted Tonks and Remus, she ran over to them and asked about Harry. Remus smiled at her and told her he had not seen him for several weeks, but he did fulfill his destiny. Harry had defeated the Dark Lord. Hermione smiled weakly at the two and told them she was happy to see them, but she needed to go see if anyone had word about Harry.
It had been three days since the war and still no Harry. She talked to one wizard who saw him days before the last day of the war, but he did not know anything else. She was starting to worry that Harry would not be coming back to her, and again she closed herself in his bedroom. Later that night there was a knock at the door. She ignored it, but it would not stop. She yelled at them to go way, but still they would not go. She finally got off the bed and stomped over to the door and pulled it open. She was fully prepared to hex this person; she raised her wand to the person's face and stopped. He was back.
Hermione let out a cry and threw her body to his. Harry staggered a little but held on to her tightly. The two help each other for a long time before Harry began to pull away. Hermione tightened her grip on him, she was scared to let him go.
"Hermione I need to sit down." He said hoarsely. Hermione let go of him and lead him over to his bed. She grabbed on to his hand tightly and sat next to him.
"It's over." He said staring absently at the wall in front of them
"I knew you would come back."
"Sorry I left like I did."
"Shhh." she said. "We can talk about that later. You need some rest."
"So do you." He said laying back on the bed and pulling her next to him. Hermione snuggled close to him and wrapped her arms carefully around him.
"You aren't hurt badly are you?"
"I should be just fine in a few days, I have to let Madame Pomfrey look me over tomorrow."
"You haven't seen her yet? Harry you really should."
"There was someone more important I had to see first." He said softly and drifted into peaceful, dreamless sleep.
A/N: I just want to thank my new beta You are awesome And thank everyone for the reviews! This fic. was inspired by the Good Charlotte song S.O.S
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
I'm shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
Listening
I've been stranded here and I'm miles away
Making signals hoping they'd save me
I lock myself inside these walls
'Cause out there I'm always wrong
I don't think I'm gonna make itSo while I'm sitting here
On the eve of my defeat
I'll write this letter and hope it saves me
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?Shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening? Listening
I'm stuck in my own head and I'm oceans away
Would anybody notice if I chose to stay?
I'll send an SOS tonight
Wonder if I will survive
How in the hell did I get so far away this time
So now I'm sitting here
The time of my departure's nearI say a prayer
Please someone save me
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
Listening
I'm lost here
I can't make it on my own
I don't wanna die alone
I'm so scared
Drowning now
Reaching out
Holding on to everything I know
Crying out
Dying now
Need some help
Is anybody listening?
Can you hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
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