A/N: Ok, it's my first full year fan fiction so please R&R.
Rated R for extreme violence and depression in later chapters. Mentions of suicide.
Also, there seems to be a problem with italization in this story. It ends after Ron's letter on my word document but it has the entire story italicized on Portkey. Hmmm.
Chapter 1: Alone in the Dark
Blackouts had plagued Surrey for most of the early summer. No one could explain why. Reporters said that power plant workers described the events as "machines going haywire." Residents placed candles over most of their houses, and kept flashlights and matches on them at all times. They had become accustomed to the nightly blackout.
But there was one who was unaware of anything that went outside his room. A young 16 year old with black hair and green eyes spent his days on his bed. Hardly ever leaving for anything but food. He used to enjoy food. But he had started to become detached to it.
He had started to become detached to everything actually. He hated the third class meals he got from his aunt. He was sick of the all but innocent glares of pure hatred that the residents of number 4 Privet Drive shot him whenever they got the chance. He hated mostly everything. Except for sleep.
Sleep was his paradise for the most part. After several lessons of practice with Snape, he had become proficient at occlumency. No longer were his dreams cursed with the lingering screams of his mother or visions of the Cedric in the graveyard. It was very scarce that he would dream of Sirius falling through the veil. He had come to terms with that. He had accepted that it wasn't his fault.
He was Harry Potter, The Amazing-Boy-Who-Lived. That was his identity to the rest of the magical world. He was supposed to be their savior. But he didn't want to be. Other boys his age dreamed of the latest broomstick, or some new Zonko product. On occasion, they dreamed of that special girl whom they wanted to be with. But for Harry, he only dreamed of being able to dream of those things. He dreamed of being normal. He was alone.
He blamed himself for everything that had happened to his friends. He had nearly lost Hermione last year. This year he wouldn't let Voldemort harm his friends. This year he would finish Voldemort somehow. He thought long and hard about it, until the light from the window dimmed and night crept on. Harry Potter slowly drifted in to sleep.
BANG! Harry jumped out of bed and gripped his wand tightly. He slept with it under his pillow now. He grabbed his glasses and moved to inspect the noise. Something had hit the window. At first he thought it was hail from the storm that roared outside. Then he saw a familiar white among the darkness of night.
"Hedwig!" he moved to open the window. He was greeted by raging water that splattered the wall floor and Harry himself. He fought against the wind that blew strongly through the window, whistling as it went. He finally made his way through and pulled Hedwig inside off the roof.
Her wing was ruffled and several feathers were sticking out at odd angles. "You poor thing," Harry muttered, removing the letters attached to her leg. He made his way to her cage and refilled her water and food with generous portions and let her next to it.
"Hold on," he told her. He then preformed an enlargement charm on the inside and let her inside. She hobbled in gratefully, and then moved around to inspect her larger cage. Harry looked at her, feeling better that he had helped her, and then moved onto the letters she had brought. He opened the first one he saw, the one with the Hogwart's seal.
Dear Mr. Potter,
Please note that the new School will begin on September 1st. The Hogwart's Express will leave from King's Cross Station, Platform Nine and Three Quarters at exactly 11:00. Your position as head boy has been reviewed due to a request by Professor Snape. The staff has mostly agreed that you do indeed merit the rights to maintain your position despite your actions at the end of last year.
Enclosed is a list of supplies required for next year.
Harry was actually surprised at how short the letter was. He glanced over the list and something caught his eye.
The Art of the Duelist
By: Hamilton, Charles
Advanced Defensive Tactics
By: Grendon, John
So there teaching us dueling now huh? The voice in Harry's head stated. Dumbledore must've found a competent teacher then. He moved onto the next letter. He recognized Ron's untidy scrawl. He ripped it open and read it hastily.
Dear Harry,
Long time, no see mate. My family and I will be leaving for padfoot's old place soon. Hermione said she'll be there in a week and Mum says that Dumbledore will send someone to pick you up real soon. I don't see why you don't just apparate there. Guess what? Dad got a pay raise! The new minister took Dumbledore's advice to ally with the muggles quite far. He thought that first the entire magical community should be enlightened on muggles, so who better to do that? Also, Fred and George's new line of defensive trinkets are making business boom more than usual, you should see the money they are bringing in. They just keep showering us with gifts. They gave me a full set of every one of their products. It's amazing what they've invented. Between them and Dad, I feel rich and spoiled. Anyway, see you soon. Hope the muggles are treating you all right.
-Ron
Harry felt a surge of happiness for Ron. Ron had always been very touchy about being poor and it was hard for Harry to ever give him gifts. He was happy hearing that Ron was finally getting the same things that everyone else got. He thought it very clever of Fred and George for doing what they were doing. They knew that their family would never accept money because it would wound their pride. So Fred and George showered them with gifts instead. It took him a moment to register what he had meant by Padfoot's place. Then he realized that they were talking about Grimmauld place. Harry, feeling much better than he had in months, went to open the next letter.
Dear Harry,
Hope you've been having fun. I'll be meeting you and Ron at Padfoot's place. Did you get your book list? It's a lot less then I expected. I already had the Transfiguration books though. I wonder who the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is. How have your dreams been lately? I heard that you've mastered occlumency. That's great! See you soon and I hope the muggles are treating you right.
-Hermione.
Harry frowned at this letter. It seemed so…jumbled and mixed up. Like an awkward moment. Then he noticed something else and his heart nearly broke. He ran to the loose floorboard and unearthed a large rubber banded stack of paper. He ripped the rubber band off and looked through them.
Love, Hermione
With all the Love that I posses, Hermione
Much Love, Hermione
Love, Hermione
Love, Hermione
Love, Hermione
Much Love, Hermione…
Every letter was just like it. Harry looked down at the letter and felt his heart break for the second time in so many minutes. The familiar feeling of despair welled in his chest and tears brimmed in his eyes. He didn't hesitate to release them. He cried and cried and cried himself to sleep, the pain in his heart burning through him.
He should've told her. She spilled her heart out to him and he had held back his feelings for fear of her safety. Now she had moved on. She had forgotten about him. Her heart was set on bigger and better things. Harry fell asleep with those thoughts in his head.
If only he knew that she thought that there were no bigger and better things than Harry Potter.
A/N: First chapter completed! MWAHAHAHAHA! Next chapter: Harry goes to Grimmauld Place and decides he would win Hermione back. But Hermione has other ideas. She doesn't want to jeopardize their friendship or hurt like she had again. Fred and George give Harry a couple presents and so does everyone else! It's his birthday!
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