Unofficial Portkey Archive

Neville Longbottom and the return of the Chat-Up Potion.

Being an account of what happened when Mr. Longbottom made a request of our Hero and Heroine. Also being a disgraceful litany of almost continuous consorting of the most intimate kind that causes the author to blush frequently as the story is brought to the reader.

Featuring:

Messr's Longbottom and Potter

Miss's Granger, Lovegood and Bones

Together with a full supporting cast of Our Favourite Students from Hogwarts School for the Magically Gifted.

With Thanks to:

Poppy, for once more attacking this manuscript with due gusto.

Ann and Nora for their generous use of expletives when describing the depths to which our Heroes sank.

Prologue

To remind our more forgetful readers of What Has Passed Before.

Harry Potter conceives a plan to woo his One True Love (to whit, Hermione Granger) He inveigles her to assist him in the making of a Chat-Up Potion, featuring the Dangerous Aphrodisiac, the Plummer Mushroom (knowledge about which Our Hero sadly lacked).

Hermione, Our Heroine, consorts with the Green Goddess Of Jealousy, believing Harry to be in love with Susan Bones and doctors the Potion.

Our Hero consumes the Potion and instead of chatting up His One True Love, proceeds to put it about the female half of the School, with painful consequences. Also, most unfortunately, Ginerva Weasley; desperate to woo Michael Winner once more, also samples the potion. She is soon found with Draco Malfoy, enjoying the most intimate practises with him until he is quite drained, she can hardly walk and Love Is In The Air.

Our Heroine, horrified at what she has done and filled with Remorse, throws herself at our Hero's mercy and insists he spanks her most cruelly for her pains. Our Redoubtable Hero, believing this to be a Granger Family Ritual duly obliges and Our Couple are United.

Read On.

Act the First.

"… are you sure?" he asked.

"Of course I'm sure" she insisted.

Inside her a rising tide of need was overwhelming the sore hurt of her battered rear.

"Please Harry, please!" she pleaded, "it just seems right."

"Hermione, I…" he took a deep breath, "certain parts of me hurt."

"ahh, ohh, hah!"

Her head dropped.

"Sorry Harry."

"So am I 'Mione, so am I."

She took a breath.

"I've a spell Harry," she glanced toward her wand.

He stepped back half a pace from their enduring embrace.

"Go on then."

She moved away and picked up her wand.

"Numbnion Poena."

Hermione cast it on herself.

The smarting, itching pain to her rump was gone.

"It works" she told Harry and cast it on him.

"Woah!" he staggered back from the spell.

"See," she moved close, eyes bright.

"You are sure?" he asked again.

She placed her hands on his hips.

"Harry, I'm sure."

Hermione stepped back, hand behind her. Harry watched, mesmerised, as she shed her dress with surprising grace.

Before him stood his Dream, clad in a pretty bra and matching underwear.

Hermione touched her rear.

I can't feel anything! It's all numb!

Harry touched his jaw, he felt nothing.

"Errionnee" he managed, articulation beyond him.

"Harry?"

"Ieeieeaaannteeelaaaffinnngg"

"Pardon?"

He pressed his fingers to his jaw.

"I can'f feel a ffing" he slurred.

"Oh no!"

"Does thisss mean I ffave 'oo schpannk 'oo aagayn?"

Hermione worked it out.

"You are Never, Ever, spanking me again!" she snapped, "It's a domination thing."

"Uhhh?" Harry managed, totally confused.

The burning need inside of her carried her forward. Close, she undid his trousers and pushed her hand in to hold him.

There was no response.

"Harry?"

"Whhatth?"

"I'm, I'm, can't you feel my hand?"

"Noo, I caann't feelll anyffing."

Hermione gritted her teeth.

"Harry?"

"Mhhioone?"

"Can we go to bed to sleep together?"

""Courshhe."

Harry opened his eyes into the morning sun. He frowned briefly and rolled over.

Hermione sat, chin on her knee, watching him. She wore one of his white school shirts.

"Morning sleepy head" she said softly.

He grinned up at her.

"Morning Hermione."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine," he touched his mouth.

"I got the right spell this time" she told him.

"Thank goodness for that." His eyes drifted down. The shirt curved interestingly over her chest. However, it wasn't done up all the way down and Hermione wasn't wearing anything else.

Harry's groin reacted as only a young man's groin can. It went from somnolence to something impressive in seconds flat. His face went red just as quick.

"Harry?"

She moved onto her knees and leaned over, kissing him. Of its own volition his hand slid under the shirt and up her side.

She sighed.

At last, nothing else can go wrong, surely.

His fingers ran across a curve.

"Mmmm, yes."

She sat back and undid the shirt.

"No!" Harry pulled her back down, "you look fantastic like that."

"I do?" she asked, curious.

"You look really sexy."

"Me, sexy?"

"I'll say."

She pushed a curious hand under the sheet.

"I see," she pushed the sheet down and took in Harry's impressive interest.

"Did I do that?" she asked.

"Yes."

"It's big isn't it."

"I've no idea."

She touched it tentatively. It twitched.

She giggled.

Right Hermione, let's get this right.

She went to her mental library and consulted Prolongia Passion's 'Guide to the Young Witch on the Essentials for Successful Relationships with Young Wizards.'

'Wizards are very proud of their penis. Any compliment will suitably inflate both it and their ego. A penis can be inserted into three places on a witch. Many wizards prefer the application of a witch's mouth to other forms of penetration. Maybe this is because it stops us witches from talking! Young wizards are particularly keen on this form of gratification, so, for a treat, surprise your partner with a different form of tongue lashing.'

Hermione still wasn't sure about the third place. Unless it was the armpit.

She was sure about the surprise part though.

This will surprise him, show him I'm not prim.

She leaned over him, kissing the hairs on his chest, carefully holding his quivering erection. Harry groaned. Her tongue flicked a nipple. He ran his hand through her hair.

She kissed lower and lower. His penis reared in front of her.

It's huge! And a bit sticky.

Harry groaned again.

"Hermione?"

She took the plunge and closed her mouth over the top of it.

"Hermione!" Harry's voice rose an octave.

It's warm and a bit salty.

She sucked on it.

"Hermiohhmygod!"

She jerked backward as he exploded in her mouth, spitting semen out as he continued to ejaculate everywhere.

"Yakk! Yeuchh! Ughhh!" She turned to him, "you never said it did that! It's disgusting!"

Semen dribbled down her nose and chin, cooling rapidly.

"Well Hermione, what did you expect?"

She pulled off the shirt and wiped her face on it and then wiped his chest and belly and her thighs and arm. "it's horrible, it's all sticky; Harry, really!"

She should have read further in her manual.

A word of caution to our younger witches. The young wizard has poor control over his ejaculation, he may go from ready to finished in seconds. We strongly advise you to get your needs satisfied before his, as often, once he has finished, he will either go to sleep or go home. Indeed, a sip from 'Plummer's Punch', available from Braggit and Gettit may help you arrive with him.

"Some manners, just doing that in my mouth; you could have told me you wanted to, not just do it without a by your leave!"

"Hermione!" Harry shook his head. "I didn't want to, you made me."

"All I did was suck it."

"It was a very good suck and I was very excited."

She subsided.

"It's all my fault again. I can't get anything right. Now it's all over and I'm still a virgin."

"Leave it for a minute and then try again and see if it wakes him back up."

"I'm not sure I want all that over me again, what if it had got in my hair?"

He put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her down.

"Hermione, shut up."

"I .mmnphh."

He kissed her. Properly.

There was a long silence apart from the chirrup of a bird outside and the occasional rustle of the sheets. His hand slowly explored her from neck to belly, eliciting gasps of surprise and pleasure.

Wowowow! All these curves and interesting places!

Wow Harry, that feels good!

He kissed her breasts, nervous in case of admonishment.

"Ohh, Harry, yes, yes" she whispered, unable to move, her eyes studying every detail of the bed canopy.

"Is that alright?"

"Do it again, a bit harder."

"Like this?"

He tried again.

"Yesss, ohhh, yesssss"

The canopy blurred and the heat she had felt the previous evening returned to her belly.

His hand pushed lower, circling her belly button; making her giggle.

"Tickles."

"Sorry."

"Don't be."

His fingers moved until they touched the first of her pubic hair. They stopped.

Harry, please, please.

Dare I, she might be cross with me I, ohh!

Hermione closed her hand over his and pushed it between her thighs which slid apart across the cotton sheet.

His fingers; palm on her mound, folded down into where she was hot, wet and waiting.

"Ahhh, yes."

Oh my, my head has exploded, oh my, oh my. Harry, my Harry.

The sight and sound of Hermione sexually aroused galvanised Harry's recovery.

She felt something hard pressing against her thigh.

It made things even better.

We are going to do it! Do it, do it, do it!

To say Harry was in Seventh Heaven was an understatement.

All of a sudden he had a naked, willing Hermione next to him.

I've got to get it right.

Dear reader, he did. He really did.

Harry, oh Harry. If you don't do something, ohh, your fingers! Ahh.

Again.

I want you. I do. More than the world and O.W.L.S. and everything.

Please.

Harry, with stars in his eyes and the sounds of Hermione moaning beside him, rolled over onto her. It was what he had to do. In the end he didn't really register her body, only the need and the look in her eyes that meant everything to him.

You're heavy on top of me.

And hot.

Mmmph, that is a kiss!

It's so big, please don't spray that stuff everywhere again.

It wants to go; here.

Oh my.

Oh!

"Hermione! Oh my!"

"Harry, don't stop."

"I can't!"

"Don't!"

Harry Potter pressed into his girlfriend. Exultant, as his penis discovered, took and overwhelmed her. As it did him.

"Oh, Hermione. Ee,"

"Please, Harry, uhh."

She arched, squealing. Her legs wrapped about him. The soles of her feet pressing into his thighs.

"You ok?"

"Don't stop!" she gasped, "do it!"

That hurt, it stings, I can feel him, I feel, I can feel him moving, I…

"Ohh!" she gave a small gasp of pleasure, just in time, as Harry groaned.

"Hermione! I, I..mmmmm"

She felt a hot spurt inside her and the feeling of pleasure intensified.

Harry felt as if his insides were trying to get out.

He was moving in and out, out of control, groaning.

Finally he slowed,

Bloody hell that was amazing, amazingly amazing!

"Hermione, I, well, wow!"

She looked up at his flushed face and could feel his heart pounding.

Was that it? Surely not.

…..Dear witch, when first you indulge in matters of the flesh, aside the pain that may occur to a greater or lesser extent you may find the matter less than satisfactory. Do not concern yourself, for matters will improve as you grow more confident and your beau more able to control himself. Should he continue to have a short active cycle then may I suggest Braggit and Gettit's 'Arrestor cream' available by Owl order and delivered in plain brown packaging. Should this prove unsatisfactory then I suggest you trade in your young wizard for an older, more experienced model; why I, myself, when a young witch, fresh from Hogwarts……

"Harry, oh Harry!" for some reason she had tears in her eyes.

"Hermione?"

"Nothing, nothing, well everything" she pulled his mouth to hers and kissed him with a ferocity she didn't know she had.

Act The Second

Harry Potter sat on a leather couch in the Gryffindor Common Room, waiting for Hermione

A large book rested face down across his lap.

It was just as well, as Harry was idly considering his girlfriend and such idle consideration produced, well, bulging results.

He heard the entrance door close and crossed his feet in reflex.

It was Neville, looking his usual hot and bothered self.

"Harry!"

"Neville."

Neville glanced about, disconcerted. There was only Harry in the Common Room.

He sat on the settee, subsiding somewhat.

"Harry?"

"Neville?"

"Harry?"

"Neville?"

"Umm … Harry?"

"Neville?"

Is this a competition on remembering our names?

"Harry? Can I ask a question?"

"Course Nev. Ask away mate."

Neville leaned close.

"I fancy this girl."

"Good, who?"

He leaned closer.

"Luna."

"Luna!"

"Ssshhhh!!"

"Sorry … Luna?" he whispered.

"Yes, what's wrong with her?"

"Nothing Nev, nothing at all. Nice girl, good body on her, good fun, it's just she's … "

"Odd?"

"Odd, yes … odd."

That is an understatement Neville.

The fire crackled and threw a few hopeful sparks.

"Well," managed Neville, "d'you remember that Potion?"

"You mean, that Potion?"

"Well, yes."

"But it didn't work!"

"It would have worked if Hermione hadn't doctored it."

"Doctored it?" asked Harry, innocently.

"Harry?"

"Neville?"

Not again, please!

"We all know about it."

"You do?"

"Apparently you can't have an argument in the Girls Dormitory's without being overheard."

"Make it again?" repeated Hermione, running a finger down his chest, still damp from their exertions. Her breast brushed his chest, raising the nipple.

"Yes, only this time properly."

"Harry!" her finger touched the head of his weary member, recouping after the severe demands made upon it by a rapacious Hermione.

"Well, I don't think Neville can cope with a bunch of Slytherins."

"Hmmph."

She considered, her finger absently wreaking havoc in his groin.

"I've no choice have I."

"No. I consider it an obligation on your part."

She stretched up.

Harry closed his eyes. A naked, arched Hermione would set him off and he really needed to sleep with Quidditch practise at dawn.

"I'll make it" she told him, "If you help."

"Of course I'll help."

She took hold of him.

"Hermione, please?"

"Spoilsport."

Act the Third

It never ceased to amaze Harry how many different outfits Hermione could find to wear.

The one she presented herself in today was, well disappointing.

She wore a calf length jersey cotton skirt; tight on her hips, flaring out lower down, in brown, together with a cream long sleeved teeshirt, plain, tight and, well, to Harry, ordinary.

She was prepared this time with long leather boots to stop herself getting bitten.

It was a sunny Saturday morning.

Students lazed about the grounds, some studying piles of scribbled upon parchment in preparation for their fast approaching exams; others having a Saturday morning laze about.

Dean Thomas had put away his football boots for a couple of months and was trying to teach a bemused group of Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors the vagaries and intricacies of cricket. A strange muggle game that even muggles didn't understand.

Millicent Bulstrode sat by herself, tending her cat and wondering why it had bald patches in its fur.

Draco Malfoy lay on his back staring sunward. He blinked, enjoying the white searing across the dark of his closed eyes.

He tortured himself. Next Saturday he'd be meeting Ginny in the Stoned Garden. So Granger would be there, but it was a start.

Ginny, Ginny.

It was the look in her eyes as he'd ejaculated into her some six weeks earlier. It was her reading of his eyes as well.

"Potty and the Mudblood are off to the forest," remarked Crabbe.

Draco sighed.

"Lucky them."

"Draco, are you alright. You seem … ummm?"

Crabbe turned to Goyle.

"Odd?" suggested Goyle.

Draco summoned himself.

He sat up in an elegant movement.

"The only odd thing about me is that I allow two idiots like you anywhere near me!"

he snapped.

Crabbe smiled in relief.

"Great Draco, you're great."

Susan Bones and Luna Lovegood were indulging in some callisthenic exercises; something Susan had picked up from a book Ernie had loaned her.

This was causing great interest amongst a number of the male students of Hogwarts.

Luna had researched exercise clothing and come up with a brilliant white cotton teeshirt tight as could be and a matching short skirt with a split up one thigh, from something called 'tennis' that involved a lot of women in aforementioned apparel grunting as they played 'tennis'.

She and Susan stretched and bent, arched and spread, oblivious.

Neville, Ron, Seamus and Ernie watched with interest. They were not alone.

"He's very manly" Pansy said, watching Harry and Hermione walk down the slope.

"He's a Gryff and a halfblood" pointed out Vera Worthy.

"So, his knuckles don't scrape the ground when he walks, unlike half of Slytherin."

Vera cackled, "True, but he's been putting it up that mudblood."

"So, I'd show him how pureblood rides a lot better than a muggle." Pansy wiggled her hips in demonstration.

They ventured into the forest, wands at the ready.

It was some time before Harry spotted some Tallis flowers, high up a tree trunk.

"Pink or white?" he asked.

"Blue," she giggled.

"'Mione…"

"White, and you can get them."

"I'll need a leg up."

"If your shoes are clean."

Hermione watched as he climbed the tree..

Love is a wonderful thing and she'd found it.

She could hardly wait for him to reach the ground and put the flowers in their trug.

To his surprise she suddenly kissed him passionately, pulling him to her as she leaned back against the tree.

"Got five minutes?" she asked him.

"Of course," his hands were already pulling up her top to find her naked beneath.

"Surprise!" she sang.

"'Mione" he said softly, his hands moulding.

Her fingers, deft and precise, undid his trousers. He sprang into her palm as he, in turn, hitched up the skirt.

"Mione!"

"Another surprise."

That made it even simpler for him. Her choice of clothing wasn't so boring after all.

She pushed her hips forward and looked down to watch him penetrate her, hand on his chest. It gave her a thrill separate to the feel of him in her to see it happen. It was all so new and exciting.

She looked up into his eyes.

"Harry" she whispered.

All day everyday forever.

The walk back to the school was a slow, indulgent stroll.

"It's not fair" Pansy told her friend, "look at her, she's been well had."

"Get Draco to give you one."

"I wish; he was none to happy when I shouted 'Dark Lord Fuck Me' in the middle of our shag."

"You idiot."

"I know. Sometimes being in Slytherin is such a bloody pain."

Susan stretched as she stood up. Her body, in its training clothes, raised a few appreciative eyebrows. She spotted Harry and Hermione walking hand in hand and sighed.

Oh to be Hermione. Just once.

Why doesn't anyone want to go out with me?

Ron spotted Harry and Hermione as he waited for Dean to bowl to him. The way they moved together made his heart race, despite his own clandestine relationship.

Dean clean bowled him.

Professor McGonagall watched as the young pair made their way toward the main door.

She sighed. Peace before the storm. She wondered if she would weather it.

They drew close.

"Harry, Hermione?" she asked.

They looked at her guiltily.

She managed a smile, despite her instinctive reproach.

"Love is a powerful thing, use it well."

She watched Hermione's eyes register a series of worried thoughts.

"Enjoy yourselves" she managed; the future was so uncertain.

"McGonagall was odd" Harry commented.

Hermione paused.

"She worries about you."

He stopped in the middle of the passage.

"Me?"

"Of course."

"Why me?"

"We all worry about you Harry. I sometimes think that McGonagall wishes she was your guardian."

"Oh. Hmm. Interesting" he said thoughtfully.

They reached Hermione's room where the contents of the trug were laid out on a table.

"Just the mushroom" said Hermione thoughtfully, "another night time trip."

She took a knife and began to prepare the ingredients.

They divested themselves of the cloak and Harry lit his wand with a soft "Lumos."

"You look nice" he told her, taking in the tight trousers and jumper.

"That's the idea Harry," she kissed him briefly on the cheek.

"Ah!" out of the corner of her eye she spotted their quarry, "there's one growing upright."

Harry watched as the mushroom blossomed before them.

"Hmm" he muttered, intrigued.

"Nearly midnight" Hermione told him.

Hermione carefully stroked the Plummer mushroom under the light from Harry's wand.

"You must have a way with them" said Harry nervously.

"What do you mean?"

"They sprout for you."

"So?"

"I've read up on this."

"You read up on a subject voluntarily Harry?"

"Well, I was curious, information on the Plummer Mushroom is hard to come by, I had to borrow a book from the Restricted Section."

"I'm impressed, and?"

"They don't just grow without a reason. Neither do they like being picked by just anybody."

"I'm not anybody Harry Potter, I'm your girlfriend."

"You weren't the first time we picked it."

She giggled.

"You silly goose. I was in love with you then."

"Oh.. Ahh." He considered her words carefully.

"I trust you love me."

"Of course I do. You know that."

"Tell me then."

"Hermione, I love you, big lots."

"And I love you masses as well."

They kissed gaily.

The clock struck midnight.

She plucked the mushroom.

"Yeuchh! Not again!"

"What?"

"It's spat all over me, Yucckk! Yeuch, it keeps happening to me, if it's not a mushroom it's you."

"You shouldn't suck so hard."

"Hhmph, don't be coarse"

"You have to be careful when you pick them."

"Now you tell me."

Hermione knelt and placed the plucked mushroom in her trug. Absently she rubbed her hands together, trying to get rid of the sticky secretion from the Plummer mushroom.

Dear reader, she should have known better.

"Harry!"

"What?"

Hermione was on fire. It had spread from her palms to her head, breasts and groin in a few brief seconds.

Her breasts were bursting in her bra, her nipples so hard they ached.

Between her thighs her sex was a hot liquid need.

In her head all she could see was Harry.

"Kiss me."

It was the most coherent thing her exploding mind could think of.

He did so.

Dear reader, he should have known better.

She un buttoned his jeans and her hand, still sticky, forced in, grabbing him.

"Hermione!"

"Harry, I need it now!"

"'Mione?!"

"Harry!"

"Mione, your hand's sticky… Ohh."

Ohh was an understatement of epic proportions.

There was an explosion in his groin.

"Harry!" she squeaked, "you're eager."

"It's that bloody mushroom you idiot!" he gasped at her, "it's used in aphrodisiacs and rejuvenation potions. Now we know why."

"Sod that Harry, if you don't give me one I'm going to explode!"

"Wipe your hands off!" he demanded.

She let go of his ballooning penis and knelt, wiping her hands.

A velvet wave swept through her.

"Uhh!" she moaned, "I've come."

Harry was too busy pushing away his clothes and looking down in amazement.

"Hermione!"

She looked up.

"Harry!"

She took in his engorged part.

"It must be twelve inches long!"

"It feels it!" groaned Harry.

He looked at Hermione and her wide eyes and his self control deserted him as undiluted Plummer Mushroom secretions took over.

"This is going to be the shag of your life!"

"I bloody hope so!"

He dragged her jumper to her shoulders. She was already freeing her bra that threatened to rip apart from the swelling of her breasts that now assumed the proportions more usually featured in Witch Pin-Up Magazines.

"My tits!" she gasped, looking down at the large pink nipples. She touched one and gasped as an intense sensation shot through her.

He barely took them in, already undoing the tight black slacks she wore and tugging them and her underwear down her thighs. He sank to his knees and pulled her down to straddle him. He was now an impossible fourteen inches long, with matching girth.

Hermione needed no second invitation despite the constriction of her clothing.

She sank onto him with a loud moan, slick with excitement. She glanced between them. It was impossibly tight and made her gasp but to her amazement he fitted in, all the way. Perfectly.

"Impossible!" she gasped. It felt like half of her was filled by him. Everything was stretched. Everything was tingling.

She eased up and back down.

Harry snorted and forced his mouth over hers. In response her nails, suddenly talons, dug into his back.

His hand pawed her breast and the large, pink nipple, eliciting a surprised gasp as the touch sent further shock waves through her. She cried out as another wave engulfed her and bit his neck, scratching her fingers down his back.

He grunted and took her hips, forcing her hard into his lap.

Hermione groaned. Another wave was building, looming.

They rutted, possessed. Minutes went by as the Plummer mushroom consumed them. Hermione urged him on with words she never used. More time. She was bent double beneath him, then on top of him. The clock struck the half hour and as if on cue Harry fired an endless torrent of red hot semen into her. On and on it went as he pounded incoherently up into her, groaning in ecstasy as fireworks dazzled his eyes and Hermione's shrieks sounded a long way off.

"Fuck," Hermione said with feeling, "what a stupid thing to do."

"Hermione you said 'fuck'" gasped Harry.

"I never did, did I?"

"Yes, just then and earlier."

She frowned.

"I did didn't I; and 'fuck my cunt hard' …" She dropped her forehead onto his shoulder, quiet and embarrassed.

"Sorry Harry, sorry."

"Doesn't matter."

He lifted her head and kissed her gently.

"It doesn't matter" he repeated, "We better go. The noise we were making."

She eased off of him.

"Yeuchh! I'm soaking wet Harry. That mushroom doesn't do anything by halves."

She quickly pulled her clothing back up.

"I'm going to need a shower" she took his hand, "and so are you."

Act the Fourth.

Neville studied the small bottle intently.

"This is it?" he asked.

"Yes Neville" Hermione touched its stopper, "this is it and I trust; after the trouble we've gone to; you're going to try it."

Neville squared up.

"Of course I am!"

"Good" Hermione un-stoppered the bottle and poured a measure into the stirrup cup on the table.

She glanced up at the clock.

"Nice day, all afternoon Neville."

Neville took a very deep breath and poured the potion down his throat.

"Strawberry?" he asked.

"For taste" Hermione told him, "now go and strut your stuff."

"Strut your stuff?" asked Neville.

"It sounded right" Hermione told him, confused.

Neville went forth. In search of Luna.

Luna sat reading the Quibbler, wearing what appeared to be a bright orange knee length tee shirt over green and white striped trousers.

Neville strode purposefully up.

"Good afternoon fair Luna," he began.

"Hi Nev, draw up a tussock and join me."

Neville looked round, "tussock? Oh! Tussock! Ha ha! Luna that's very funny."

He sat down next to her.

"I see you are perusing that fair and mighty organ, The Quibbler."

"Nev?" she cocked her head.

"Its journalistic prowess has no equal."

"Well,"

"However, it pales to insignificance, when compared to your own eloquent beauty."

"Nev?"

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, no, for thou art more lovely" he intoned.

"Nev?" Luna's eyes grew larger.

"Fair maiden, thou art more fair than a rose in bloom."

"Rose?"

"Aye, the fairest rose in all the world would wilt before the mirror of your beauty."

"Nev, are you drunk?"

"Fair Luna, drunk only on the wine that is your grace."

"That's very nice Nev, but what's this about?"

"Why dear Luna, I am here to woo your good offices so that we may step out together and parade our love."

Her mouth dropped open.

"Neville!"

"For I am, dear kind, lady, smitten by your fair self. Your grace and beauty dazzle me and your conversation thrills me."

"But Neville."

"Together we shall tread the gold path of love to a leafy bower where our intimacy will be consummated time and again."

"Neville?" Luna ran the words by.

Intimacy be consummated? I think that means he wants to take me to bed.

"… sweet virgin, we shall sail the seas of pleasure."

"Neville?"

"To heights of pleasure unalloyed."

"Neville!" she snapped.

"Hmm?" his eyes refocused on her.

"I am not a virgin."

"Oh, ahh… sweet once a virgin, we shall sail seas of pleasure greater than all those you have sailed before with all of those you may have sailed with."

Luna frowned.

"Neville, I don't sleep around, 'all those', there's only…"

She totalled

"…five, no, six; or is it seven. I'm not sure if both of the twins had me once or one of the twins had me twice" she paused, "possibly eight; maybe nine, I don't know after a couple of Firewhisky's, I just go with the flow; but it's not a ship full."

Neville's jaw had dropped as her words managed to penetrate his potion addled brain.

"Sweet maiden, you are doubtless the most fair of all the graces within these walls, have so many men drunk at the fountain of your delights."

"I think it's more I was an easy lay years ago."

"Years ago?"

"No point in waiting in hanging about Neville, love may never come your way."

"It has dear lady for I am truly smitten by your fair looks and eloquence, and your eight or nine previous liaisons will surely stand you in good stead when we ride my member into the ecstasy of the purple night."

"I must say Neville, that's the best 'can I fuck you' I've ever heard."

"Tis more than that o light of my life. For I most truly love you and worship the ground you walk upon, the pillow you lie upon and the feel of your thighs about mine."

She humphed.

"Neville that's enough. If you wanted my thighs about yours you should have asked six months ago."

Luna stood up.

Neville followed suit.

"Neville, I'm in love with someone else and we do it every night. I'm well taken care by him: why don't you try Susan, she's available and probably a virgin to boot."

"But fair Luna, since when have you had an ardent admirer, who is this Person I Must Best?"

"Best my hat Neville, I have a secret, a clandestine, a furtive lover from afar that steals upon me on the wings of the night and transports me to the untrammelled regions of delight and ecstasy!" she finished with a dramatic flourish.

"But fair Luna…"

"Stuff the fair Luna bit and tell Hermione to stop making that bloody potion!"

She marched off. Not even the Chat-Up Potion is a match for a young lady in love.

"Oh" said Neville, "ahh!" The Chat-Up Potion insisted on some form of closure.

He watched her walk away for a moment and then turned in a slow circle.

He spotted Susan Bones heading for the Stoned Garden, book under her arm, her long hair flowing gently behind her.

He started after her.

If Luna doesn't want you, I'm sure Susan does. She'll welcome you with open thighs. Thighs?

Neville shook his head. There seemed to be another voice in his mind.

It was possible Hermione had added a little too much Plummer Mushroom to the potion.

Susan Bones sat on one of the massive stone benches. Unusually for her, she wore muggle clothes, a flouncy summer skirt covered with prints of flowers and a sleeveless lemon coloured teeshirt.

She looked up with her usual warm smile of welcome.

"Neville, lovely day."

"The day pales into insignificance compared to your bountiful radiance."

She glanced down at her chest.

"They're not that big Neville."

"The day pales into insignificance compared to your beautiful radiance and the wonder of your orbs."

She glanced down again. A trace of her nipples showed.

"Are you fixated on my breasts Neville?"

He tried again.

"The day pales into insignificance compared to your beautiful radiance and the wonder in your eyes."

"I'm certainly wondering, why don't you sit down here and get it out."

"My lady I must woo you before I get it out as you so eloquently request."

"Neville!"

He sat next to her and looked down her top as he did so.

"Neville! Would you prefer if I just took it off?"

"Oh no dear lady, for it is my bounden task to disrobe you before I mount you."

"On a pedestal?"

"No fair beauty, on my most Ardent Member."

"Neville!"

She patted his hand.

"These are fine words but what do you mean?"

"Oh most potent of women, I have admired you from afar and turned and tossed at night, with your portrait in my eyes."

"You like me?"

"Dear Susan, you are the fairest virgin maid I have ever seen and I wish to sweep you from your feet. Together we shall tread the gold path of love to a leafy bower where our intimacy will quickly be consummated time and again."

"So I don't get to stay a virgin very long then."

"Why nay eloquence of temerious beauty, for I shall swiftly court your divine mind and transport your body to the heights of exquisite ecstasy where the ceiling we find shall be the stars."

She ran the sentence by.

"So I'm going to have multiple orgasms the first time and you're going to have to peel me off of the ceiling."

She patted his hand again and gently stroked his fingers. Her nipples pushed at the top, had Neville but noticed. Even though he was staring into her face he hadn't realised that her eyes had softened.

"Dear Lady, mounted upon my Missile of Love how could you not be transported to the Edge of Reason?"

"Missile of Love?" she giggled, "Neville Longbottom, really."

"Together we shall go through life, hand in hand, my gland in your gland, love in love, woman to man."

"Does it involve a kiss?"

"Sweet Susan, Divine Lady, kisses shall I smother you in from head to foot, why,

your little toe shall be a Temple of My Adoration For You."

She glanced down at her feet, bare in light weight sandals.

"Does it involve a kiss on the lips?"

"Dearest Bones, your lips shall be as a Cathedral I shall worship and dwell in them."

"A kiss would be a good place to start."

The words penetrated, almost.

"Divine Aphrodite of our Hogwarts, I shall kiss you forever on your sweet, succulent lips. My tongue shall beat a path to your core and I…"

"Neville!"

She pulled his face to hers and kissed him firmly on the mouth, flicking her tongue ever so briefly.

She pulled back, her eyes now wide.

"Neville, if you don't make love to me, I'll scream."

The Plummer Mushroom and the spell weren't concerned with words, only that some words were spoken; within any words were the core of the spell, the ability to seduce almost anyone.

Taking his hand she led him a short way across the garden into a secluded, stone surrounded bower, a large bush of roses in the middle.

"Dearest Susan, should I not lead the way to our place to plight our troth."

"Today Neville. Now Neville. If I don't get that Love Muscle in my most intimate corridor soon I shall make a most angry utterance."

"Love Muscle?"

"I don't know, the words just came into my head, like 'intimate corridor'. 'Love Muscle'? I wonder what it means."

"Maybe it is some form of seafood delicacy dear Susan."

She led him behind the screen formed by the bush.

"This should do, no one comes in here anyway and this'll make it more private, your 'leafy bower'," she giggled, a sound that sent a shiver through Neville separate to the Potion's demands; pulled her wand and cast a spell at the entrance to the small garden

"Dear Lady.."

She turned to him, her face starting to blush.

"Neville put up or shut up."

"Put It Up or Shove It Up?"

She sighed.

Taking his hand she placed it over her eager breast.

"Neville, if you don't wield your Protuberance soon, I'll scream."

His fingers tightened over her curve.

She gasped.

The Plummer Mushroom took over. Her flimsy skirt found itself a crumple about her waist. Her other clothing shed itself as autumn leaves, mixed silent on the grass with Neville's apparel. She was skilfully explored from nose to toe. Equally confident she examined him from head to groin. She got no further as the need took over for both of them and she settled back to draw him onto and into her in one fluid, potion guided movement.

"Dear Lady!" he cried.

"My Warrior!" she replied.

On into the peace of the afternoon they rode

"Oh Neville!" she cried, "Neville! Surely you have the greatest Muscle of Love!"

"And you dear Susan have the finest Silken Walled Place!"

"Oh Neville!"

"Oh Susan!"

"Oh Neville!"

"Oh Susan!"

"Oh goodness me! I do believe I … mmngphhh!"

"Dearest, I do think that I shall …Oohhhhhhhhhh!"

The Chat-Up Potion triumphed as our two young lovers consummated their relationship in the most substantial demonstration possible.

"Neville?"

"Susan?"

"Have you finished? I'm fucked out."

"Susan!"

"Completely shagged senseless."

"Susan!"

She patted his resting part.

"And I bet your cock could do with a rest."

"Susan!"

She shook her head. The tide went out.

"whoa!" she looked at him and down at their naked bodies and strewn clothes, "what happened?"

"We made love." Neville told her.

"I know that you big silly," she glanced at a patch on the grass, "I'm certainly not a virgin anymore."

She picked up her knickers and slid them up her legs. Neville watched, mesmerised.

She spotted his interest.

"I would have thought you'd have had enough of me."

He shook his head, gathering his clothes.

"No, absolutely not."

"Even without the Chat-Up Potion"

He paused, worried.

"How did you know?"

"Only thing it could be."

She moved to him and placed one hand on his chest, taking his hand and placing it over her breast.

"I hope this wasn't a one off Neville."

"No, no, can we see each other, I mean, umm, will you go out with me?"

"I already am," she smiled warmly and then kissed him briefly.

"I need a shower. I'll meet you outside Hufflepuff in an hour, I'll smuggle you into my room. We can carry on getting acquainted. If you want."

Neville's jaw dropped.

"Your room?"

"Of course, I'm not making love on the settee in the Common Room."

"Course not."

"By the way, what does 'temerious' mean?"

"No idea….."

Here ends the second part of our steamy tale of young lovers, phew!