Disclaimer: Nope…still not mine!
A/N: This is a response to the `My Angel' challenge set by the wonderful Mycha_kk. I love this challenge and because I love it so much I've been having trouble writing it…weird, I know. She wanted it done as a one-shot unless we were sure we would finish it. Well, I'm sure that I will finish it so I'm posting it in two parts. I hope to have the rest up soon.
Although I know you can check out the Challenges forum to view the challenge, I'm not going to post the rules until the end because I don't want to give away what's supposed to happen…sorry, I have to make you work for it if you want to know! LOL Part 2 should be up soon though…it's over halfway written.
I hope you enjoy it….
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His Heart's Most Basic Desire
Part 1
Harry's hands worked feverishly as images of her, like pieces of a puzzle, flashed to the forefront of his mind. With only fragments appearing before him he could not yet identify her face; he knew only that she was a part of him…a part longing to be recognized. He had long since given up conscious thought, choosing instead to trust his hands to his heart. And so now he stood; a mere vessel…carving, scraping, and brushing the ice in a fervent effort to discover what, in the words of Professor Dumbledore, could only be described as his heart's most basic desire.
He still could not be sure how it had come to this…how he had found himself here; sculpting a block of ice with the practiced, meticulous precision of someone who had been doing it for a lifetime. His only truth was that something hidden somewhere within the deep, dark recesses of his mind was guiding him…begging him for release.
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Flashback
The sorting ceremony was no different from any other. The sorting hat sang a new song and nervous first years were being sorted into their houses.
It was Harry's sixth year and unlike previous years he was finding it difficult to pay attention. He clapped unknowingly when the others around him clapped and he sat quietly when they sat quietly. His current distraction was the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. Harry was particularly close to Dumbledore and he could tell, even from where he was sitting, that Dumbledore was anxious for his moment to speak. It wasn't often one got the opportunity to see him excited, but there was no mistaking it as Harry watched him curiously, wondering what exactly was in store for them.
The sorting ceremony ended and Harry waited patiently as Dumbledore prepared to speak, "Good evening ladies and gentlemen," he said, "welcome to another year at Hogwarts. First, I have a special announcement to make. In light of the events with which we ended last school year, your professors and myself have decided to start the year off with a little excitement, something a little…different. It brings me great pleasure to announce to you that this winter a competition will take place here at Hogwarts." Excited whispers began to fill the hall and Dumbledore waited a moment before continuing, "This is a special, unique competition," he paused as the whispers began to grow louder, "would you care to hear the details or would you prefer to speculate a while longer?" he asked smiling back at the excited the students.
"Let us here it then," someone shouted. Follow by more shouts of, "Yeah, let us hear it!"
Dumbledore placed his hands in the air, "All right, all right, very well," he said chuckling softly, "it will be an ice carving competition."
Another round of fervent whispers filled the Great Hall.
"Ice carving, as some of you may well be aware, is the art of taking an ordinary block of ice and sculpting it into something unique. When you begin many of you will see just a block of ice, however," he paused and raised his hand dramatically, "the key to ice sculpting is to look beyond that which you see before you. If you pause, take a step back and allow your heart to speak, your subconscious mind will determine what you make of it," he stated looking around at the students. Harry felt Dumbledore's gaze rest on him for what felt like a moment too long before he once again addressed the students. "This will not be a house competition; it has been designed to promote a healthy blend of competition and school unity. It shall be open to all students who wish to participate either individually or as part of a group. Based upon the number of participants there will the potential for several categories, such as…
Most unique
Most inspirational
Best display
Most beautiful
Best group sculpture
And, for those of you who might be interested in participating while not actually putting forth the effort, we will include a category for you as well…poorest showing, perhaps? Sounds a bit better than most hideous, does it not?" he said laughing along with many of the students.
"The competition will commence the second week in December and your professors and myself will begin the judging just prior to the start of the holidays. If you wish to enter you must do so no later than 10th December as to ensure we have a sufficient amount of ice. This will give you plenty of time to decide whether or not to enter and to form your teams should you decide not to participate in the individual category," he said. "We strongly encourage," he added looking around at all of them once more, "you to use as little magic as possible as some things are best left to your senses … allow yourself to see and feel what you are creating, listen to your heart, for it is there that you will find all the magic you will need. It is quite possible that through these actions you find that you have discovered your heart's most basic desire."
Harry looked up when he felt Dumbledore's eyes boring into him again. The headmaster was staring at him as though he had been speaking directly to him and Harry couldn't help but to wonder what exactly was being expected of him…he didn't know and he wasn't all too sure he wanted to enter the competition to find out.
"Ridiculous," Ron muttered next to Harry. "Could you imagine trying to do that? Sounds a bit mad if you ask me."
"So, are you going to do it?" Harry asked.
"Of course," Ron replied. "You think I could win that last one? You know, most…" he stopped to think.
"Poorest showing, Ron?" Hermione asked in her usual don't-you-ever-pay-attention-Ron tone.
"Yeah, that one," he said excitedly, "you think I could win it?"
"I don't think the intent is to aspire to winning that one, Ron," she said matter-of-factly, "I think you're actually supposed to put forth the effort to try and win one of the other awards."
Ron's eyes opened wide and he looked bewildered. "One of the other ones?" he said, leaning closer to her. "You don't think I could really win of those, do you?"
"Of course I do, Ronald," she said encouragingly. Ron's eyes lit up as he thought about going up and getting his prize. "But…"
"There's a but?" he said looking suddenly deflated.
"…not with that attitude," she said firmly. "You have to think you can. Do you think you can?"
"Well…" he said, thinking, "maybe…yeah, with a little help from you."
"How do you know I'm not entering the individual competition?" she asked smartly.
"Well," he said tilting his head and opening his eyes wider, "are you?"
"No," she answered, "probably not."
Harry had been quiet throughout their conversation so together they tried to draw him in.
"What about you Harry?" Hermione asked curiously. "Are you going to enter?"
"Yeah, Harry, come on," Ron said excitedly, "we could do it together."
Harry shook his head, "Nah, I don't think so."
"Come on Harry," Ron begged. "It'll be loads of fun, we'll even get Hermione to help."
Harry glanced in Hermione's direction and saw the hopeful look in her eyes as she watched him. He sighed, "All right, I'll think about it," he said reluctantly. He caught the hopeful look on Ron's face and quickly added, "But I'm not doing a group competition. If I do it, I have to do it alone."
Ron's deflated expression returned. "Aw, come on Harry," he begged again, "you know it'll be fun."
"I'm sure it will be Ron, but if I do it it'll be alone or not at all," he said firmly.
Ron recognized his tone immediately and knew that the battle was over before it could even begin. There was no way he would get Harry to change his mind now. "All right," he conceded. He turned his hopeful eyes to Hermione, "What about you? Will you do it with me?"
Hermione was staring curiously at Harry, her narrowed eyes lingering longer then Ron thought necessary. "Hello? Hermione? Are you in there?" he called out to her, waving his hands in front of her.
Hermione blinked and turned back to Ron with a sour expression, "What Ron? Did you say something?" she asked somewhat irritably.
"Well, yeah," he replied sarcastically, "I was asking you if you would still do the competition with me. Maybe we could get Ginny too."
Hermione was still curious about Harry's behavior and once again she'd barely registered Ron's words. "Yeah, okay Ron, whatever," she distractedly, quickly returning her attention to Harry.
"Great," he said loudly. "I'll go ask Ginny." He got up and began walking toward his sister. Suddenly feeling confused, Hermione turned and watched him go.
She looked at Harry again and pointed toward Ron, "What's he going to get Ginny for?" she asked.
Harry looked at her like she'd just landed from another planet, "You just agreed to do the ice sculpture contest with him and he said he'd try to get Ginny to help too," he informed her. "Are you all right, Hermione?"
"Wait a minute," she said, putting her finger up in the air. She shook her head a couple times as she allowed Harry's words to sink in. She looked at him with wide eyes, "I just did WHAT?" she yelled.
"Hermione calm down," Harry said chuckling softly, "it's no big deal. Just relax."
Hermione looked at him pointedly, "Well, if it's no big deal, Harry, why didn't you want to enter the competition with him?"
"Okay Hermione," he said laughing, "you got me there."
"So, are you going to tell me why you won't enter the competition with him…I mean," she gulped, "us?"
Harry shook his head. "I wish I could Hermione but I can't," he said in a serious tone.
"Why not?" she asked curiously, studying him once again through narrowed eyes.
"Because I don't know why," he said softly, staring unseeingly at his hands resting on the table. He raised his eyes to hers and shook his head again. "I just don't know."
End Flashback
The first few months of the school year seemed to fly by and everywhere Harry went he couldn't seem to escape the excited talk about the competition. Although he'd shown little to no interest he was made well aware of the fact that Draco and Cho were both entering the individual competition and the Creevey brothers were teaming up to `show them all how it's done'. He couldn't even remember who all the others were anymore…and he found that he really didn't care either.
Luna and Neville were both entering the individual competition as well and Harry had tried to recommend getting Neville on the team with Ron, Hermione and Ginny; Hermione had adamantly refused. She was already seriously regretting having said yes to Ron because he was driving her crazy constantly trying to come up with ideas for what they would carve. As a result she'd flat out refused to have Neville there joining in with him. She did however, try once to get Ron to drop her and replace her with Neville…fortunately (or not, depending on who's looking at it) Ron was not quite as oblivious as she had hoped he might be and he didn't fall for it.
Hermione had long since lost count as to the number of times she'd told Ron that they needed to wait until they saw the ice before deciding what to do with it. Unfortunately, he never listened and she'd been forced to block him out entirely when he was speaking to her. Ron, on the other hand, was beginning to get frustrated with her because he was constantly having to repeat himself when asking her for help with his homework.
Harry sat back and watched it all in silent amusement. He made sure never to talk about it with Hermione for fear she might somehow turn it all around and find him to blame. He'd felt her eyes on him that day in the Great Hall and a small part of him knew that it was because of his odd behavior that she'd lost focus on Ron and had inadvertently committed herself to being on his team. What he didn't want was for Hermione to recognize his small part in it.
For his part, Harry couldn't even begin to understand what his problem was. There was something about the competition that bothered him. It felt almost as though he was scared or like there was so much more to it for him then just cutting a block of ice. Somehow he seemed to dread what the outcome would be if he were to enter. What could possibly happen that would make me so scared? He often wondered.
He'd thought about the competition a lot and decided that he was firmly against entering. Whatever it was he feared about it had succeeded in messing with his psyche just enough to convince him it wasn't a good idea to enter and he felt better having made up his mind.
The morning of 10th December seemed to arrive in record time. Harry woke that morning clearly remembering he'd had a dream but as hard as he tried he could not recall the details. There was something about it that haunted him throughout the day and he was finding it more difficult then usual to concentrate in his classes. He felt strongly as though he'd forgotten something important and as hard as he tried to concentrate on it, he couldn't begin to fathom what it might be.
Potions ended just before lunch and Harry had barely enough time to gather his things before he felt Ron grab the sleeve of his robe and pull him quickly toward the door.
"What're you doing, Ron?" Harry demanded. "Let go of me."
Ron quickly let go of Harry's robes and looked at him as though he hadn't realized he was there. "Sorry Harry, I thought you were Hermione," he said distractedly.
"Hermione?" Harry asked bewilderingly. "What're you talking about? I hope it's not often you get the two of us confused."
Ron looked at him and laughed, "Nah mate, your hair might be all crazy but you ain't got nothing on Hermione."
"Excuse me?"
Ron jumped at the sound of Hermione's voice and he slowly turned to find her watching him closely. "What were you saying about my hair?" she asked.
"Um…uh…nothing really," Ron stammered. He shot a pleading look at Harry who was trying hard not to laugh at the two of them. Ron rolled his eyes and gave Harry a `thanks a lot mate' look before he returned his attention to Hermione. "I was…um…I was just telling Harry how lovely your hair looks today," he said quickly. That oughta do it, he thought proudly.
Hermione eyed him cautiously and he could feel his ears starting to turn red, Bloody hell! He thought nervously.
"I don't believe you, Ronald," she stated flatly.
"But…I…"
"But…" she said warningly, interrupting whatever argument he'd been about to present, "I'm going to let it slide this time."
Ron released the breath he'd been holding and sighed, "Why?" he asked in amazement.
Hermione raised her eyebrows and looked at Harry as though saying, `can you believe this guy?'
Harry started to chuckle softly then shook his head and shrugged his shoulders at her in a, `you got me' gesture.
Hermione turned narrowed eyes to Ron and looked at him wonderingly.
Ron could feel himself getting nervous under her stare, "What?" he asked anxiously, "Why are you looking at me like that?" He turned his gaze and looked pleadingly at Harry and said, "Harry, make her stop."
At that Harry could no longer contain his laughter and he burst out laughing, "No, Ron, I can't," he stammered, "this ones on you."
Hermione looked at Harry and had to fight for control of her own laughter. She looked back at Ron with her nostrils flaring as she fought hard not to laugh. "Well Ron," she said stiffly, "it's like this. I can see you walking and talking but sometimes I can't help but wonder how you do it."
Ron looked taken aback, "Wh…whaddya mean by that?" he asked.
Hermione looked down at the ground and released a small chuckle before she looked up at him again more seriously, "It's just that walking and talking require the use of a brain and sometimes I wonder where you've left yours, that's all."
Harry eyes went wide and he turned around abruptly and looked down at the ground. Ron turned his shocked expression from Hermione to Harry and saw that Harry's shoulders were shaking uncontrollably with silent laughter. Ron reached out and smacked him on the shoulder, "What's so funny?" he asked seriously, "you're supposed to be on my side."
Harry swallowed hard a couple of times then turned his tear-stained face to Ron. He was in a battle with the corners of his mouth as they tried hard to raise in a smile. "Sorry, Ron," he choked out, "but you should've just let it go mate. She let you off the hook and you just couldn't let it go, could you?"
Ron stared silently at Harry as he thought back on the last few minutes of conversation. Hermione tapped her foot and waited patiently for the light to turn on over his head. She was just picturing the cartoon version of it when his eyes lit up and he smiled. She couldn't help but to chuckle at his perfect timing…it never failed.
"All right," Ron said sounding once again relieved, "I got it now. I'm letting it go." He looked at Hermione pointedly and said, "Thank you Miss Granger for letting me off the hook…this time."
Hermione nodded her head and started to laugh. This time both Harry and Ron laughed with her.
"Come on," Ron said after a minute, "let's go get some lunch."
Harry and Hermione nodded and the three of them started walking toward the Great Hall.
"So why'd you grab me anyway, Ron?" Harry asked breaking the silence.
"Oh yeah," Ron said excitedly, "I almost forgot." Harry followed Ron's gaze to Hermione and he could have sworn he saw her cringe. "Today's the last day to sign up for the competition. We can't forget to do that."
Hermione shot Harry a weary look and sighed before she answered Ron, "Oh yeah," she said flatly, "we can't forget to do that."
Harry tried to give her a reassuring smile but instead of accepting it she stuck her tongue out at him and sneered. He looked at the ground and smiled, damn but she can be cute, he thought.
The remainder of the walk to the Great Hall was spent in blissful silence. With every step Harry was fearful that Ron would say something to set Hermione off. She'd been very touchy about the competition in recent weeks and it was not a topic Harry wanted to discuss…or listen to!
When they arrived in the Great Hall Hermione looked around and immediately found who she was looking for. Ginny was already seated and thankfully there were three seats across from her and one next to her that had been vacated. Hermione sat down across from her and gestured for Harry to sit down next to her. When Ron made to sit down on the other side of Harry she stopped him abruptly, "Ron," she said quickly, "why don't you sit next to Ginny so we can all talk better?"
Ron stopped and looked at her questioningly before he nodded and walked around the table to sit beside his sister. Harry looked curiously at Hermione and she raised her eyebrows and jerked her head in Ron's direction. Harry narrowed his eyes at her briefly then turned to look at Ron. He couldn't help but laugh. Ron and Ginny were talking excitedly to each other about the competition, totally oblivious to the fact that Harry and Hermione were sitting across the table from them. Harry leaned toward her and whispered, "Brilliant!" She smiled slyly then began to dish food onto her plate.
As per usual, Ron finished eating before either of them and he was starting to get impatient. "Will you two hurry up?" he asked abruptly.
"Why?" Harry asked curiously. "What's your rush?"
Ron rolled his eyes and sighed exaggeratedly, "I told you," he said emphatically, "we have to sign up for the competition."
"Oh," Harry said noncommittally, "that's right."
"So," Ron asked him curiously, "are you going to do it?"
Harry shook his head, "Nah, I decided against it. Not interested," he looked from Ron to Hermione then quickly added, "and there's nothing either of you can say to make me change my mind so just forget it."
"Okay, Harry," Ron said heavily, "we get it."
Hermione placed her hand over Harry's and studied his face searchingly. He felt her watching him and he turned to meet her eyes, "Forget about it Hermione," he said softly.
She nodded her head but she still couldn't help but to wonder what it was that bothered him so much about ice sculpting.
Harry pushed his plate away and looked at Hermione, "You ready?" he asked.
Hermione nodded and pushed her plate away then they both stood up and looked at Ron who was now talking to Lavender about the competition. "Are you ready, Ron?" Hermione asked in the same impatient tone he'd used on her and Harry only a minute ago.
Ron looked up quickly and nodded his head, "Yeah, come on," he said excitedly.
Hermione looked at Lavender and rolled her eyes, "See you later," she sighed.
"Bye Hermione," Lavender said laughing. She knew how much Hermione was dreading this and she couldn't help but laugh as she thought about the madness that was sure to ensue.
Harry and Hermione trailed along behind a nearly bouncing Ron as they went to find the sign-up sheet. Ordinarily Hermione would have already signed them up but she had secretly been hoping that Ron would forget and that it would end up being too late. If it was homework he would've forgotten, she grumbled to herself.
When they got to the sign-up sheet Ron quickly pulled out his quill and wrote down his, Hermione's and Ginny's names as part of the team competition. He raised his eyebrows and held the quill out to Harry, "You sure, mate?" he asked.
Harry looked first at Ron, then Hermione, then the sign up sheet, then the quill and shook his head while his hand reached up and took the quill. Ron and Hermione both gasped and Harry nearly dropped it when he realized it was in his hand. He looked at Ron questioningly and Ron shrugged his shoulders and slowly backed away from the sheet to allow Harry access. Hermione's hands were covering her mouth in surprise and her eyes were wide as Harry took the couple steps necessary to take him to the parchment. He looked at the quill curiously then wrote his name at the very bottom of the page under the individual category. There was room for at least ten more names between his and the nearest one on the list. He pulled the parchment closer and looked at the spot where he'd written it. He lifted the quill with the intent of scratching it out but stopped when he felt Hermione's hand on his arm. He looked at her curiously but he couldn't read her strange expression. "No Harry," she whispered fervently, "don't scratch it off."
Harry looked once again at his name before he returned his gaze to Hermione. He couldn't take his eyes off her as he silently handed Ron back his quill. Hermione, on the other hand, couldn't take her eyes off Harry's name where he'd written it at the bottom of the parchment.
Ron was getting a little spooked at whatever was passing between his friends so he cleared his throat loudly to get their attention, "Okay guys," he said a little too brightly, "ready to get to class?"
Hermione looked at Harry once again and shook her head to clear her thoughts. What was that all about? She thought bewilderingly.
What just happened? Harry wondered; that same feeling he'd had since the competition was announced came back full force and he couldn't help but to feel a little frightened.
"So Harry," Ron said loudly, "um…what made you change your mind?
Harry looked at him and shook his head, "I didn't," he stated firmly.
Something about his tone stopped Ron from questioning him any further and they walked the rest of the way to History of Magic in silence.
Hermione couldn't help but to sneak occasional glances at Harry or to wonder what he might be thinking. That had been a bizarre moment for both of them and she was having a lot of trouble understanding what transpired. She was always, always the rational one but something she couldn't explain made her reach out to stop him from taking his name off that list. Now she was left to wonder what exactly was going to happen next.
Harry couldn't think straight anymore and he was actually thankful for double History of Magic. It was the one class that didn't require cognizant thought so he left his mind to wander. Bits and pieces of his dream from the night before began to come back to him in his daydream. He could see a woman walking toward what appeared to be an old storage room that looked as though it hadn't been used in years. She was wearing a long coat with the hood pulled over her head, preventing him from seeing her face or any part of her features. But there was something familiar about her; he was sure that he knew her. He stood back and watched as his dream persona appeared in the doorway; he was watching her intently as she approached. He looked as though he had something important to tell her and he was in fear of her reaction. As she drew nearer to him he smiled. Something about his smile filled the real Harry's heart and though he couldn't see her face, he knew that she was smiling back at him. His dream persona reached for her hand and carefully guided her into the room. He could see that they were standing close together and his heart started beating rapidly. She reached up to pull down the hood of her coat and he…
"Harry," Hermione whispered fervently, "Harry wake up."
"Huh?" he mumbled. "What? I'm busy. Leave me `lone."
Hermione smiled and nudged him again, "Harry wake up class is about over," she said more urgently. He still didn't move so she tried a new tactic, "…and you're snoring!"
Harry sat bolt upright and said loudly, "Whaddaya mean I'm snoring? I don't snore."
"Shh," Hermione said laughing although it was already too late. Most of the class had heard him and snickering could be heard from all around the room. Harry turned beat red and as she looked at him she thought, damn but he can be cute. "Sorry," she whispered, "I was just trying to get you to wake up. I didn't know you'd react like that."
Harry looked at her and instantly forgot everything, "It's all right," he whispered back, "I'm sure they could all use a good laugh anyway."
Hermione breathed a huge sigh of relief, "Thanks for not getting mad at me," she said.
He looked at her searchingly and said, "I could never be mad at you."
Hermione smiled and blushed then returned her attention to Professor Binns just in time for class to be dismissed.
"What's Ron doing?" Harry asked, "He's been awfully quiet."
"Well he wasn't a little bit ago," she said smiling, "he really was snoring."
Harry laughed and said, "Come on, let's wake him up and get out of here."
Hermione nodded then reached over and smacked Ron softly in the head. Instinctively Harry's hand went to his own head and he said, "Is that what would've come next if the snoring comment didn't work?"
"No Harry," she said smiling, "I could never hit you like that." Then she turned back to Ron and smacked him just a little bit harder to get his attention, "Come on Ron, wake up, class is over." Harry's hand was still rubbing the back of his head as Ron woke up and they made their way out of the classroom.
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Okay…so next we head for the competition. I hope to see you all there!
Have a great day!
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