CHAPTER 2
Draco followed her into the Gryffindor common room and sat down in an easy chair next to Ron. They greeted each other warily, like two people who had ended up on the same Quidditch team, both desperately wanting to win, but didn't trust each other. Ginny just prayed that Ron wouldn't find out what she was doing. Two years ago, the Gryffindors would have gone into a bloody rage if anyone else, especially a Slytherin entered their dorms, but this year it had been rather customary. The remaining Hufflepuffs all stayed in there because there were so few of them. Even some of the Ravenclaws did.
Ginny gathered up her nightgown, examined it, decided it was too small and figured that she would just borrow clothes from Draco. She glanced nervously around the room, and then drew the curtains tightly around her bed, hoping no one would look for her. She dashed into the girl's bathroom, yanked off her robe, and jumped into the shower to freshen up. Even though Draco had promised her that they didn't have to do anything, she knew that there was still a chance of her clothes coming off.
After her two minute shower, Ginny pulled on clean robes and settled on plain green panties and a matching bra. She stared at herself in the mirror, wishing that she had fewer freckles, or that her hair was just a little less red. She wished she had taken the time to learn more cosmetic and beauty charms back when there had been time for things like that.
"What are you doing?" Hermione's voice broke the stillness. "Draco's downstairs."
Ginny glanced up at her. "Right. Thanks." There was once a time when she wanted nothing more than to be Hermione's best friend, and Harry's girlfriend, but those times seemed light years past her. Hermione's only friends were Harry and Ron, just as they had always been, and Harry was more interested in staying alive than snogging in a corner.
"You okay?" the girl asked.
Ginny nodded. "Just wishing."
Hermione sighed and propped herself against the counter with a small smile. "What for?"
"Silly things. That I had learned more cosmetics charms and that kind of thing."
"Sometimes I feel the same way."
"Really?"
She nodded. "It would be nice to be able to focus on something other than surviving."
Ginny agreed. "Maybe one day."
"We will, one day, I just hope I'm around to see it."
"You will be," Ginny said firmly.
"You don't need any beauty charms," Hermione told her, reaching out and sweeping her red hair out of her face. "You are absolutely beautiful."
Ginny could feel her skin heating up under her freckles. "Sometimes I wish for hair that wasn't so red. Or less freckles. Or to be taller. Or for a straighter nose. Or even bigger boobs. I spend time wishing for these things, but I can't even bother to feel sad for my family."
"I think that's just," Hermione paused, struggling for words. "Muggles call it psychology. It's just a way of coping. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. You have a lot to deal with right now."
"We all do," Ginny answered with a shrug as she left the room.
Ron looked at her curiously when she entered the common room again. "We're just going for a walk," she told him, keeping her voice as neutral as possible.
He nodded, and turned back to the fire. "Be careful."
"Later Weasley," Draco told him.
"Later."
"You should go to bed," Ginny told her brother. "You look exhausted."
"Too exhausted to sleep," he replied.
Ginny and Draco made their way casually through the halls and stairwells until they reached the Slytherin dorm. The common room held two first year students who barely glanced at then, and she silently followed Draco through the low hall until they reached his room. She had been in his room many times, and she liked it more each time. His four poster oak bed was trimmed with deep velvet forest green curtains, and held back with silver ties. The small window had matching drapes. There was an oak desk that held Draco's mostly unused school books and a large fireplace that kept the room warm and cozy. As much as she liked the room when she was with Draco, Ginny knew how easily it could become lonely and dismal if she were alone.
Draco pointed his wand at the fireplace and it grew brighter, then he undid his robes and crawled onto the bed. He had on worn jeans and a thin under shirt, clothes that did not look exactly right on a Malfoy, but still managed to look good on him. Ginny turned and set her robes on his desk and then followed him onto the bed, adjusting herself comfortably between his legs with her head propped against his chest, hearing his heart beat steadily in her ears. They sat in silence for a short period of time, watching the fire flicker.
"What are you scared of?" Draco finally broke the silence.
"Huh?" She turned on her back and gazed straight up at him.
"I mean, what are you afraid of?"
After a few minutes she spoke. "I guess that we're not going to win this war. I dream about that a lot. That we'll have done all this, and we'll end up losing anyways. Then everyone and everything I know will be gone."
Draco nodded, and shifted slightly against his pillow.
"What about you?"
There was a pause before Draco answered. "Just losing you, mostly. There's not much else left for me to lose."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Maybe not by choice."
"Oh." Ginny turned back on her side and stared at the fire. "Would you want me to come back, if anything happened to me?"
"Come back?" he questioned.
"You know, like Nick and the Bloody Baron. A ghost, I mean."
"I don't know," he answered slowly, his fingers trailing through her hair. "Maybe."
"Then you'd have to choose to be a ghost too."
"Maybe not then. There's probably something else after this life. Something better than being ghosts together."
Ginny nodded. "Dumbledore told Harry that death was the next great adventure."
"Would you wait for me though? If I went first and you lived to be two hundred. Would you want to wait that long?" His voice was steady and casual, but Ginny could feel the hidden fear and tension in his body.
"Yes," she told him firmly. She couldn't imagine loving someone as much as she loved him. She didn't ever want to wake up in the morning and eat breakfast with someone else; she didn't ever want to go to bed, and not be positive that there was a person who loved her more than anything else. "You can't go before me though. I'd be right behind you." As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted saying them out loud.
But Draco just nodded and kissed the top of her head.
Sleeping in Draco's room was as unrestful as it had been in her own dorm. In the fifth year Gryffindor girl's room, Luna, who was prone to sleep walking had moved in, and Hermione, who had also moved in, occasionally let things slip in her sleep, which was entertaining when it was about Harry or Ron, at least. Draco, however, tossed and turned in his sleep, mumbling and moaning all night long. Finally, when she could see dawn's first light peaking into the narrow window, she kissed Draco's cheek and headed for her own dorm to dress.
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