Unofficial Portkey Archive

Ch 10 Reflection and Reconciliation

Around the Weasley living room, Arthur, Samuel and Lupin were chatting amiably, the Weasley boys were along one side of the wall laughing as they talked about the recent Quidditch game, the Professors were quietly discussing the upcoming school year, and Ginny was helping her mother put the finishing touches on Harry's birthday cake. Dobby was in the kitchen, whistling happily by the stove.

Finished, Molly went over and muttered to Arthur, "I have a bad feeling about this. Hermione said they would be here in a few minutes. That was nearly half an hour ago. Do you suppose they had trouble with the portkey? What if…"

"I'm sure they're fine, Molly. They can both Apparate, and besides they can take care of themselves. Harry's one of the most powerful wizards and Hermione's one of the cleverest witches I know. I'm sure there is nothing they can't figure out between the two of them. They're nearly adults, after all. Just relax, Molly. Everything will turn out just…"

With a loud pop, Hermione appeared in the middle of the living room seated on Harry's Firebolt. Her blouse and skirt were tousled, her hair was a bushy mess, and her eyes were red and puffy, with streaks of makeup where she had been crying. As she stepped off of the broom, Ron asked the obvious question.

"Blimey, Hermione! What happened to you? And where's Harry?"

Hermione moved to stand directly in front of Ron, who with his brothers, backed up a step when they noticed the smoldering anger simmering behind her eyes. Taking a grip on the broom handle as if it were a baseball bat, Hermione roared back, "I don't ever want to hear that name again!!!" and swung the broom with all of her strength right at Ron's head. Luckily, he ducked, as did the rest of his brothers as the broom whistled above their heads. Angry at having missed, Hermione aimed lower as she wound up for a tremendous backswing. Samuel's hand on the handle prevented her from decapitating an entire generation of Weasleys, and with a quick twist he pulled it from her hands. Undaunted, Hermione brushed past him and stomped up the stairs.

"Miss Granger, I am truly sorry for having to ask," murmured Dumbledore, "but do you know where we might find Mr. Potter?"

Pausing on the steps, Hermione looked at Dumbledore with fresh tears in her eyes. "I left that bloody idiot in his new house. And he can rot in it for all I care!!!" She then turned and ran up the stairs. Silence reigned in the living room until a slamming door rattled the walls so hard that four pictures fell from their nails. Faces filled with shock and confusion looked at one another for several moments.

Fred looked at George and commented, "Blimey! I wonder how many pieces she left him in."

Minerva made a move as if to get up, but paused when Molly passed by her and whispered, "Let me talk to her first." Ginny offered to go up as well, but Molly told her, "Not right now, sweetie. I think she needs a mother right now." Molly climbed up the stairs and everyone held their breath, half expecting a magical explosion. When none came, there was a collective sigh of relief.

George added, "Give mum some credit, she's got courage, she does. No spell on earth could have made me go up to talk to Hermione right now. Have you ever seen her so wound up, Ron?"

Ron simply shook his head. "I've made her plenty mad, plenty of times, but I've never seen her like this before."

Dumbledore then spoke. "I believe it is imperative that we check in on Harry. If he is half as upset as Miss Granger right now…well, we need to find him quickly." Lupin, Samuel, Hagrid, and the Weasley men Apparated to Hogsmeade to begin looking for Harry. When they noticed the slight shaking of the buildings, Dumbledore looked very concerned. "He's still close by, perhaps still in the house. We need to find him soon."

*-*-*

Cradling Hermione's head in her lap, Molly soothed her and calmed her as Hermione slowly explained what had happened. There was a light knock on the door and Ginny came in, ran to Hermione, and gave her a big hug. Molly left the two girls shortly afterward and headed downstairs. The men had returned, having searched both Hogswarts and Hogsmeade thoroughly, but without any luck. Luckily, the light earthquakes had ceased, though many of the inhabitants were still extremely nervous. When Molly came down the stairs she halted on one of the landings and looked at Dumbledore, Lupin, and Arthur in turn. "I need to talk to you three in the kitchen," and with a menacing glare at her boys, "and nobody else."

As she pushed open the door, Molly shot a quick glance at Dobby, who beat a hasty retreat from the kitchen. With the other three men looking at Molly, she gave a very brief explanation of what had happened. "Luckily, they both stopped before they got too carried away. I will talk to Hermione, but one of you needs to talk to Harry. He needs to talk with a man, not one of his mates from school." Looking at Dumbledore and Lupin, she asked, "Haven't either of you ever had a serious talk with Harry about girls?"

Both Dumbledore and Lupin looked very uncomfortable under the intense scrutiny of Molly.

"Err…well, uhh…you see, Molly, I -uhh-consider myself to be more of a grandfather figure to the students even though I never had children of my own and uhhh…well, with everything else that has been going on in young Harry's life I never really thought about the need to…uhh, well, you know…talk to him about…err-that sort of thing."

Arthur smiled slightly and looked down at the floor while Molly rolled her eyes in exasperation at the stuttering Headmaster. Then she turned to glare at Lupin. "And what's your sorry excuse?"

Lupin's grin faded instantly under her withering stare. "Oh, well, uhh, since I'm a werewolf I never expected to have any children and…I don't think my dad and I ever discussed it, I thought maybe Sirius had covered that…err…"

"Oh, and what a fine little talk that would have been with Sirius, God rest his soul. I thought I might have found better role models in here for Harry…maybe I should go ask Samuel for some help. Or maybe the twins can give him some useful advice," snorted Molly.

"Relax, Molly, Albus, Remus. I'll have a chat with Harry. Heaven knows I've had plenty of practice giving the talk to my own boys. But we still have to find him," replied Arthur.

"I am fairly certain he is still in the new house. Unfortunately, we cannot Apparate or floo there now that the protections have been reset. However, the old tunnel under the Whomping Willow should still connect to the basement. I do not believe that passage was sealed. Remus and I can help you get past the tree," offered Dumbledore, having regained his legendary composure.

*-*-*

After Arthur, Lupin, and Dumbledore had left, Molly returned to the living room.

"I believe it is fairly apparent that there will be no more festivities this evening. Arthur, Lupin, and Dumbledore have left to check on Harry, and I will check in on Hermione again later." Looking at her boys she explained, "You lot will be sleeping either down here or out back in sleeping bags and the girls will be upstairs." At the first sign of protest, she continued, "We don't want to be disturbed."

"And the rest of us will be leaving as well, Molly," announced Professor McGonagall. "I would like to stop by to check on Hermione tomorrow as well."

"Of course, Minerva. Good night. And Charlie, don't forget to clean up the kitchen." As Samuel, Hagrid, and Minerva left, Molly was conjuring bags for her sons on the floor. "Good night, boys," she said as she climbed the stairs.

*-*-*

As Dumbledore, Lupin, and Arthur climbed up the hill towards Hogwarts, they felt the rolling thunder and witnessed the flashing lightening in the skies above Hogsmeade.

"We need to hurry. Harry must regain control of his emotions," urged Dumbledore.

Gasping from their run, they paused, just out of reach of the Whomping Willow. Aiming carefully, Dumbledore's wand shot out a bright flash of red light and they took a tentative step forward. When the limbs did not try and crush them, they rushed forward, opened the concealed door, and entered the hidden tunnel. Arthur argued it would be best if he entered the house alone to talk to Harry. The other two decided to head to Hogsmeade to help the residents if they needed. Arthur moved quickly along the tunnel. Opening the trapdoor into the cellar of the house, Arthur noticed how bitterly cold it felt. Lifting his lighted wand aloft, he hurried quickly towards the stairs.

*-*-*

Molly reentered Ginny's room and glanced for a minute at the two girls huddled there on the bed. Hermione's head was leaning on Ginny's shoulder as Ginny gently stroked Hermione's tangled hair.

"Ginny, dear, you can use one of your brothers' rooms tonight. They're either sleeping downstairs or in the backyard in bags. I need to talk to Hermione for a little bit."

"I don't want to talk anymore. I'm tired of talking," mumbled Hermione.

As Ginny got up and left after giving Hermione another hug, Molly replied, "Suit yourself dear. We can talk tonight or first thing in the morning. But we're going to have a little talk."

With a hint of anger, Hermione replied, "Fine, let's get it over with."

"Good choice dearie. Now," she continued as she pulled up a chair and sat directly in front of Hermione on the bed, "why do you think this happened?"

"What?!?! Because Harry's an insensitive, hormone-crazy git who…"

"Any other names you'd like to throw out there while you're at it? It's best to just get it out of your system. Go ahead. You've already used idiot and git. How about prat, jerk, buffoon, moron, creep, wanker…or would you like some stronger ones? Off the top of my head I can think of…"

"No, that's enough for now I think," answered Hermione, slightly in shock.

"Fine, then we can continue. You've told me what happened. Now I want you to tell me why you think it happened."

"Well, he started kissing me and then I…"

"Before that. Why did he start kissing you?"

"Well, I had just finished showing him the bathroom and the master bedroom and he was very happy still about the whole house and everything we had done for him."

"And why were you two alone in the bedroom?"

"I just said I was showing it to him."

"I know, but why didn't you show it to him earlier when Ron or somebody else was around?"

"I wanted it to be a special surprise, just me and him."

"I see."

"Oh, I see. You're taking his side! You think this is all my fault! That I'm some kind of tramp or…"

"HERMIONE! That's enough. I am not trying to figure out who to blame. There's enough blame to go around for both of you. I just want you to step back for a moment and try to understand how the two of you found yourselves in a situation I don't believe for one moment either of you wished to happen."

Hermione thought quietly for a moment. "Well, I kept him behind on purpose so that we could be alone for a few minutes. He offered to take me up on his broom for a few minutes which was nice. Then I told him to land on the balcony outside of the bedroom…"

"So it wasn't his idea to go to the bedroom?"

"No, I told him to take us to the balcony, then I had to practically push him through the doors into the bedroom…oh no! Molly! You have to believe me! I had no intention of…I just wanted to show him the rooms and then the painting and photo I had made for him!"

"Shhh…There, there, Hermione. I believe you," soothed Molly. "Do you see where Harry might have been a little confused?"

"Well, yeah, maybe, but still…"

"How did you both end up on the bed?"

"Well, he said he loved the house and everything we had done for him, then he told me he loved me, then he kissed me and I kissed him right back. Then he hugged me tighter and I did the same, then I felt him stumble a bit, then he fell forward, bumping into me and I was falling backwards and I grabbed onto his arms and uhhh…"

"Go on."

"Well, he looked so funny when we fell on the bed, like he had no clue what was happening. I started laughing and he gave me another kiss."

"Did you kiss him back?"

"Noo! Well, not at first. He did this brushing thing with his fingers on the side of my face and then I kissed him back. Then he tried to kiss me some more and I told him to stop but he didn't."

"You tried to tell him to stop while you were kissing? How did you do that?"

"Well, I distinctly said…uhh…oh…"

"Did you push him away or do anything else that you wanted him to stop?"

"Well, uhh, no, not until I started screaming at him."

"You already said that, Hermione."

"No, I mean screaming at him telepathically."

"Did he stop then?"

"Yeah, he did. He jumped backwards so fast he fell off the bed."

"Hmmmm." Molly let Hermione sit and think for several minutes. "Once again, Hermione, I want to ask you why you think this happened tonight."

"I don't know…It just happened."

"Oh don't give me that, Hermione. You're much smarter than that. Tell me why you think this happened tonight."

Hermione sat for another minute or so, chewing her lip. "Fine. I put us in a bad situation where it became very easy for our emotions to get out of control."

"Good, but not entirely correct. You both should have known better than to stay too long alone together, especially in a place like a bedroom. That's just asking for trouble. Either one of you could have and should have stopped and said `Let's go back with the others at the Burrow.' But neither of you did. The blame lies as much with Harry as it does with you Hermione.

But you are right about your emotions. You and Harry have been through some remarkable experiences together and you have grown very close. Of course, the fact that you can communicate telepathically and see into each other's mind on occasion brings you even closer. But as you saw tonight, emotions can be very powerful, especially between two people who are deeply in love. That's a good and wonderful thing. But it also means you need to be careful.

Now Arthur is going to go talk to Harry. I seriously doubt the Dursleys gave him any useful guidance about treating women. I'm afraid the only influence or advice Harry has received has come from his friends at school."

With a half smile, Hermione cut in, "Uh, yeah. I think we discussed that briefly right before I flew off on his Firebolt."

"Yes, dear. I imagine there might be a few things you two will want to discuss again in a calmer environment. My point was that you might have to help Harry as well learn to deal with his emotions better. I've noticed an incredible difference in him over the last couple of months, mostly due to your influence I believe, but it will probably take more time. I know you don't forget, but remember that he never had a family or anybody who cared for him until he first attended Hogwarts."

With tears running down her cheeks, Hermione asked earnestly, "Do you think we'll be able to work things out? What if he hates me now? I said some really terrible things to him. What if, what if…"

Clasping Hermione tightly in her arms, Molly gently rocked her. "Don't worry dear, things will all work out. Every couple has their rows now and then. Don't you worry, it will be OK. I promise."

Twenty minutes later, she left an exhausted Hermione sleeping soundly on Ginny's bed. As she gently closed her door, she whispered a silent prayer that Arthur had found Harry and had had a good chat with him as well.

*-*-*

As Arthur climbed the stair to the third floor, he could feel the floor rumble from the power of the growing storm outside. Shouting out Harry's name as he ran through the hallways, he paused outside of the door leading to Harry's bedroom. He knocked loudly and when there was no response, he opened the door. He quickly saw the broken picture by the wall and then focused on the two glass doors swinging wildly on their hinges. A bolt of lightening illuminated the form of a figure shaking his fists in the air. Arthur quickly crossed the room and stepped outside.

"Why?!?! What did I do?!?! I love her!!! What have I done?!?!" At each shouted phrase, there was a powerful clap of thunder and a brilliant bolt of lightening. And the storm's fury increased.

Arthur clasped a hand on Harry's shoulder and spun him around. Harry spun with the move, slid his hand down Arthur's arm to latch powerfully onto the wrist, rolled the arm over so that the elbow was on top, and then Harry slapped down with his free palm, driving Arthur to his knees.

As Arthur groaned in pain Harry threatened to dislocate his elbow and growled, "Who are you?! Why are you bothering me?!"

Arthur looked up into Harry's face and almost couldn't recognize Harry through the agonized expression he wore. "It's Arthur. I've come to talk to you, Harry. You need to calm down. This storm will destroy the village of Hogsmeade. You must calm down," he gasped through pain-clenched teeth. There was no reaction. Arthur was forced lower and lower. "Harry, stop. Harry! Please stop!" The pain was becoming excruciating, he needed to get Harry's attention. "Son! Please stop and listen to me."

Harry froze and blinked in astonishment, then his eyes cleared for a moment. He then reached down and pulled Arthur back to his feet and cried out, "I'm sorry Arthur, I'm so sorry. I…I didn't recognize you."

Arthur gave him a hug and replied, "It's OK, Harry. You need to calm down. The storm…"

"I'm trying," whispered Harry in an anxious tone. "I'm trying."

"Come downstairs to the kitchen, I'll put on a pot of cocoa for us," urged Arthur as he guided Harry inside and closed the doors. Harry just followed quietly.

After starting the pot of cocoa, Arthur cast a quick drying spell on Harry and then lit a fire in the fireplace at the far edge of the kitchen. Harry just sat in his chair at the table and stared at his folded hands. The storm outside sounded like it was winding down. When Arthur put a warm cup of cocoa in his hands, he drank it numbly. After a second cup, he looked up at Arthur with a painful look in his eyes and said quietly, "I've lost her, Arthur. I've driven away the person who mattered most to me in the entire world. What am I going to do?"

"Have another cup and then we'll talk," urged Arthur.

Sipping quietly, Harry waited for Arthur to start.

"Harry, Molly has been talking with Hermione, and she suggested that I come to have a little chat with you as well. I don't think things are as bad as you imagine."

"So everybody knows what happened?"

"Molly only spoke with Albus, Remus, and I. She didn't give us any details. Everyone else that was there only knows that Hermione was very upset about something and there was some initial concern about whether you were still alive or not."

"What?"

"Well, Ron asked where you were when Hermione showed up at the Burrow without you and she nearly lobbed off his head with your broom before Samuel grabbed it."

Harry's half grin quickly disappeared. "If she's that upset at the mere mention of my name, it's over. She'll never talk to me again."

"Easy there, Harry. Like I said, Molly's talking to her now. She's in good hands. But there's a few things you and I need to discuss first."

"Like what?" asked Harry.

"Like how you got into this mess to begin with."

"Hey! It wasn't my idea for the two of us to stay behind. It wasn't my idea to go to the bedroom. It…"

"And you could have stopped it at any point. It doesn't matter whose idea it was, Harry. One of you needed to step up and make the decision to return to our home, and neither of you did."

"But I love her, Arthur. And I thought she loved me."

"You do. And she still does, Harry."

"But…"

"But nothing Harry. Look, I'm sorry nobody has had this talk with you sooner, but better late than never."

Blushing slightly, Harry replied, "Arthur, I already know all about how…"

"Yes, I'm sure you do. But I'm talking about a more important talk. There is more to love than just the physical aspects, Harry. Surely you understand that much at least."

"Of course I do," retorted Harry angrily.

"Good. Then this will be a short talk. When Hermione told you to stop, what did you do?"

"I stopped. Why?"

"Right when she asked you to?"

"Yes, of course."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you stop right when she asked you to do so? If what you wanted to do was right, if it was natural, if it was just what two people in love normally do, why did you stop right away?"

Harry just looked at Arthur for a few minutes thinking. "I guess because if she felt uncomfortable, then maybe it wasn't the right thing to do."

"Good. Did you have any hesitations before that moment? Any thoughts that maybe this wasn't the best thing to be doing?"

"Well, yeah. But Hermione seemed to think it was a good idea, at least until, well, she said no."

"Now why might you have had second thoughts, even before Hermione told you no?"

"Uhh, because it wasn't the right thing to be doing in the first place?"

"I think we can both agree to that, Harry. There is a time and place for everything Harry. From what I know of Hermione, I imagine she and her family share the belief with my family that sex before marriage is a very bad idea. Now I'm sure many of your classmates, and indeed, much of the Muggle world, and even many in the Wizarding world would disagree. That's beside the point. It's not important what they think. Have you ever discussed this with Hermione?"

"No, it never came up. I never gave it much thought."

"Well, it's about time you do. Let me tell you why Molly and I think it is important, and why we've tried to teach this idea to our children.

The intimate experiences that a husband and wife can share are very special, very personal and they should only be shared between two people who have made very special commitments to each other-in other words, two people that are married. To do otherwise cheapens the experience, makes it less precious, despite what the rest of the world or some of your friends might say.

Real love is not about instant physical gratification. It's about commitment, and sacrifice, and lots of hard work. And it exists on many different levels, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual, in addition to the physical. Real love doesn't make demands or have to be proven to be true-it is giving and unselfish. Real love grows over time, and therefore isn't afraid to wait for the right moment. That's why Molly and I waited, that's why we tell our children to wait, that's why I'm telling you to wait until you're sure you've found the right person and made the commitment to be there for her forever before you fully express your love for her."

Harry sat still, thinking hard for several minutes about everything Arthur had just told him. Finally he responded. "Thanks, Arthur. You've given me a lot to think about. Do you think we'll be able to work things out?"

"I think you have a very good chance, Harry."

"But how do I go about making this up to Hermione?"

Arthur sighed deeply. "Based on extensive personal experience, flowers make an excellent start."

As Harry reached for the floppy hat, Arthur grasped his wrist. "I'd give her some more time to cool off first, Harry. Waiting until at least tomorrow morning to talk to her would be a good idea."

"Thanks again, Arthur."

*-*-*

When Hermione woke up in the morning and walked downstairs, she couldn't actually step off of the stairs because the room was covered in flowers. Off to her side, by the kitchen door, a large bush with flowers that were constantly changing colors shook as someone behind it sneezed.

"Bloody Harry. Why couldn't he just order flowers from a shop like a normal wizard instead of conjuring up a bloomin' garden patch in our living room." Pushing aside the leaves, Ron turned around, rubbing his puffy red eyes and complaining, "Bloody allergies," as he wandered back into the kitchen. He didn't notice Hermione there looking at the other beautiful flowers and budding plants. There were singing bushes, thornless roses, dipping daffodils, rainbow carnations, prancing pansies, several starflowers hovering in midair and blinking, and dozens of others. When she looked outside, there was a hundred different varieties she didn't know the names of swaying in the early morning breeze.

"Somebody sure wants to get your attention," remarked Molly as she descended the stairs.

"Hmmph," snorted Hermione. "I have half a mind to let him try a little harder."

"From the looks of things, he's been trying very hard all night dear."

"I know, I know. They are beautiful, aren't they?"

"They sure are dear."

"And there are an awful lot of them, aren't there?"

"There are dear."

"And it looks like he went to an awful lot of trouble, doesn't it?"

"It does dear."

"Do you have any idea where he might be?"

"I would try the kitchen if I were you. I've noticed that young men spend an awful lot of time in there."

"Thank's Molly, for everything," exclaimed Hermione as she gave her a big hug and then wound her way through the living flower nursery to the kitchen.

"You're welcome dear," murmured Molly.

When Hermione swung open the kitchen door she stood there for a moment as all movement at the table froze. "Has anyone seen Harry?" Nobody replied. "Oh, for crying out loud, I'm not going to hurt you." The only response she noticed was that the twins and Bill and Charlie were slowly backing towards the kitchen door leading outside. "Oh, go on. Clear out you lot," she yelled in exasperation at the four, who immediately turned and ran for the door. "You," she pointed at Ron, "have you seen Harry?"

"Seen Harry? No, I just bloody woke up! And if I were him, I'd…"

The rest was a low mumble as Arthur clapped a hand over his mouth and pulled him towards the kitchen door. "I think we'll finish breakfast outside, Hermione. Good luck." Arthur shut the door tightly behind him.

"Fat lotta help they were. Where are you Harry?" "Harry? Are you here?"

"I'm here."

"You're here? Where?"

"Well, I wasn't sure you wanted to see me again. But I sure wanted to talk to you again. I'm…"

"Oh, Harry! I want to see you again! I didn't mean a word I said last night. Please, let me see you again."

Harry uncloaked himself on the other side of the kitchen. He looked very pale and very tired. As the tears streamed down her face, Hermione ran to him and he caught her in his arms.

"Mione. I was so afraid I had lost you forever. I am so sorry about last night."

"No, Harry it was all my fault, I'm so sorry."

With tears rolling down their faces, they both started laughing.

"Here, let me get us something to eat while we talk," suggested Harry.

"I'll help," offered Hermione.

The next forty five minutes were silent except for the clatter of pans and plates as Hermione and Harry mindspoke to each other, apologizing and discussing the events of the previous evening. When they walked out the back door, with Harry's arm draped around Hermione's shoulders, it was to a standing ovation from the rest of the Weasley family.

When the cheers finally died down, Ron asked, "Does this mean I can finish my breakfast now? I'm starving. I think we still have some birthday cake left."

Laughter followed him as he led the family back in the kitchen. Molly stopped and gave Arthur a big hug before they went in and joined their family.

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