A/N: Thanks to rainpuddle13 for the amazingly quick beta... J.K. Rowling owns all characters from the Harry Potter universe.
Not much Draco in this one... however, he will show up in the next chapter (which I hope to have out soon).
Ginny sat, lost somewhere in her thoughts. She idly wondered why Narcissa had lit the fire, since it wasn't particularly cold outside. But she herself was wrapped inside of a heavy blanket to keep warm. It was one of the things she hated about living in England - it was never particularly warm. Plus, the draftiness of the townhouse in London didn't make things better.
She wanted to go home. Of that much, she was sure. What she wasn't sure about, though, was what home she wanted to go to. Upon their return from Belize, Ginny had intentions of going home to the Burrow, wanting to put the last few weeks out of her mind. Since she woke ten afternoons ago to find her husband had left her, Ginny wanted to put Draco Malfoy and the entire Malfoy family as far from her mind as possible.
It seemed that Narcissa wouldn't let that happen. Draco's mother had been hovering about, insisting Ginny stay with her in London, and watching her every move. She knew Narcissa was waiting for her to bolt, and Ginny silently wondered why she hadn't already. The woman couldn't really do anything to her. And she knew if she really wanted to go, nothing would stop her. The problem was, she didn't feel comfortable with her. The redhead spent more nights here than Draco's flat in Brighton, but she longed for the familiarity of it. She knew she would be able to feel him there, and she needed that right now.
She missed him, unwilling as she was to admit it. For years, she'd repressed the urge to love Draco Malfoy, but now that she'd let her feelings go, she couldn't bottle them up again. Even though he'd left her alone to run off after his father. She was angry with him and hurt beyond belief, but she missed him still.
Because of this, Ginny found herself at an odd point. Did she wait for him? Or did she throw it all away to run away? Could she make it the rest of her life without his laugh? Or his touch? What about the way he loved her? Ginny wondered if she could wake up every morning without him by her side? She'd only experienced that a few times, but she knew it was addicting. After they'd finally made love, the next morning she found herself drawn to him. She'd sat there for a half hour, amazed at what was between them, and even more amazed that this man wanted her after all she'd put him through.
Ginny was pulled from her thoughts when Narcissa entered the room. The older woman was carrying a tray. She could see two steaming cups of tea and some biscuits. "You only picked over your breakfast this morning. I thought you might be hungry."
The redhead nodded. "Thank you." She watched as her mother-in-law put the tray on the table between them and waited until she took her own teacup and a biscuit before following suit. They sat in silence, Ginny determined not to let Narcissa know what she was thinking.
"I need to go into Diagon Alley later today. Would you like to join me?"
"I think I'll stay in." Ginny broke off a small corner of the biscuit and ate it. "I don't want to go out."
"Is this because of last time?" Narcissa questioned. "Really, Ginny, you cannot let those people stop you from living your life."
The other woman just shrugged. The last time they'd been out, an over-eager reporter had cornered her with some pictures of Draco and a woman she didn't recognize. They'd only been having dinner and he wasn't touching her, but the pictures bothered Ginny more than she would admit. Then the reporter had said some rather nasty things about her relationship with Draco, and asked her if their marriage was already over. "I think I'll stay in," she repeated.
Narcissa sighed heavily. "Then I'll stay in as well. I can send someone out for what I need."
Ginny turned to her mother-in-law. "You don't have to stop living your life because I'm here. I like being alone. You should go."
She shook her head. "No, I'll stay. I haven't stopped living my life, dear. I'm just trying to preoccupy my minds with things other than Draco, Severus, and Lucius."
"If you manage to do that, let me know."
"You could write him," Narcissa suggested gently. "At least to let him know we've come home and everything is okay. I think he'd like to hear from you. It might make you feel better as well."
"I have nothing to say to him. At least nothing I can say in a letter." Ginny finished the rest of her tea and placed the cup back on the tray. "I just… I need…"
"What do you need?"
Draco, her mind immediately answered. She caught herself before she said his name out loud. "I need to know where I stand with him. Where we stand with him."
"Ginevra, I can tell you that. My son loves you and wants to build a life with you." She studied her son's wife carefully. "You do believe that, don't you?"
The redhead shrugged. "I don't know what to believe anymore."
"Ginevra."
"I'm sorry, I can't help it." Ginny paused, remembering she was talking to Draco's mother. She so desperately needed someone to talk to - needed some to advise her - however, considering the circumstances of their marriage it was unwise. But Narcissa knew the truth and could help her. "If he loves me, like you say, then why did he leave? Even after I asked him not to."
"If I know my son, he feels responsible. I could tell from the moment he told me the truth about your situation. Draco knows he brought you into a highly volatile situation with his father. When Lucius escaped, the entire situation changed. He's trying to keep you safe."
"By leaving me alone?" she questioned skeptically. "It seems if he wanted to know I was safe, he'd want to be with me. Not traipsing off, trying to get himself killed."
The older woman was confused by how bitter Ginny sounded. She was taking Draco's absence as abandonment. "He won't be killed. This is a battle he'd eventually have to fight, dear. If I know Lucius, and after spending thirty years with him I like to think I do, he'd never leave you alone. The two of you would spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder for him. Draco doesn't want that for you."
Some part of Ginny's brain knew what the woman was saying was true. She knew Draco had gone off to protect her, but it didn't make it hurt any less. She wasn't used to being scared, but the knowledge she might not see Draco again terrified her. They'd been given a second chance and it seemed incredibly unfair that it might already be over. "I shouldn't have left things like they were between us," she confessed in a small voice. "What if-what if something happens and he doesn't know how much I care for him?"
Narcissa reached over and covered her hand. "He knows, Ginevra."
"Does he?" she questioned. She looked her mother-in-law in the eye. "The night before you arrived was the first time I ever told him I loved him. I've loved him since I was sixteen, and it took me years to finally tell him. What is wrong with me that I can't let him know what I feel?"
"Nothing. Some of us have a hard time admitting our feelings."
"But not Draco. We'd hardly been married three days when he told me he loved me. I hurt him every time I couldn't say it back."
"That's the first time you've said his name since he left," Narcissa told her. "At least in my presence. We talk about him all the time, but you never call him by name." She watched as the younger woman took a deep breath, realizing the truth. "As for Draco and his feelings, you know as well as I do that he doesn't believe in dishonesty. To him, not telling you he loved you when he did would have been telling a lie. I can't pretend to know anything about your relationship, but he definitely seems happier than he's been in a long while. You're good for him."
Ginny was uncomfortable with the praise she was receiving. As a couple, they'd hardly been around Draco's mother and she wasn't sure if the other woman was right. They did finally get things right in Belize, but before then there was a lot of arguing and then Draco Apparating away to be by himself. She had no doubt they could be together and be happy, but she'd hardly call the beginning of their marriage the happiest of times. "I don't know what's going to happen to us," she admitted quietly. "It's not a matter of love, because I love him very much. It's all of the other things."
"Ginevra, I want to ask you something. You won't have to answer me right away, or at all, but answer the question for yourself. Ready?" When her daughter-in-law nodded, Narcissa continued. "Now that you know how good the two of you can be together, are you really ready to give up on that? Can you honestly say you'd be okay spending the rest of your life without him?"
***
Several days later Ginny found herself at a small café in Diagon Alley, waiting for Hermione. She had Flooed asking Ginny to join her for lunch, and after some prodding from Narcissa, Ginny had agreed. It was good to get out of the house and to stop moping around for a little while. All of the moping wasn't going to bring Draco back any quicker.
She'd brought with her a book she'd been reading, as well as some paper and a quill. They'd received another letter from Draco the previous day, and Ginny was considering writing him back. As days passed by, the redheaded witch realized how much she missed just talking to her husband. She thought that after lunch, she might do some shopping, and then find a quiet place to write. The address they had for him would only last a few days, so if she was going to write him, it would have to be quick.
"Excuse me Miss, is this seat available?"
Ginny kept her eyes trained on her book. "No. I'm waiting for someone."
"Oh, in that case, would you mind if I joined you? I'd like to buy you a cup of tea."
She looked up to see who was flirting with her, and her smile widened when she saw Harry, with Hermione standing slightly behind him. "Harry!" She stood and gave them both a quick hug. "What're you doing here? I thought Puddlemere was in the middle of a road trip."
"They are. But we have a three-day break, and Hermione needed me for some wedding stuff. I just got in this morning and I'll be leaving first thing tomorrow morning."
Ginny nodded. "Are you going to join us for lunch?"
"No. I have some quick shopping I need to do." Harry looked around the café. "Is your husband not with you?"
Ginny noticed the way his tone changed when he inquired about Draco. "He joined the Aurors who are searching for his father. He thinks he might be of some help."
The man nodded. "I see. How long has he been gone?"
"About two weeks now. I'm staying with Narcissa in London while he's away."
Harry seemed to be at a loss for words. It was obvious to him from Ginny's tone and expression that it was a sensitive topic. He also knew Hermione would be better at getting information about her personal life. "I hope everything works out, Gin." Leaning down, he kissed her forehead. "It was good to see you."
Ginny watched as Harry wrapped Hermione in a hug, and gave her a gentle kiss. "I'll be back in an hour and a half, okay?" His fiancé nodded, and then he was gone.
Hermione took the seat across from Ginny. "When he heard I was going to lunch with you, he wanted to see you. Harry's been…bothered by the last time he saw you. He wanted you to know that he cared about you, aside from Ron and the rest of your family."
"I know that." The redhead took a sip of her water. "He just showed up at the wrong time. Enough about that, though, how are the wedding plans going?"
The other witch smiled brightly as she launched into the plans she'd been making. Ginny listened intently, slightly envious of Hermione. She'd always wanted the big wedding with her family and friends there. Instead she'd gotten Draco, some newly purchased white robes, and the Ministry of Magic office. Still, she realized, she wouldn't trade the time with Draco for all the frills in the world.
"Ginny, are you listening?"
She snapped back. "Sorry, my mind went somewhere else for a moment."
Hermione gave her a sympathetic look. "Are you ready to order? Or do you want to hear the specials again?"
"I'm ready." Ginny turned her attention to the waiter and smile apologetically. "I'll have the grilled chicken sandwich, with a small side salad." He nodded once before turning away. "So the wedding planning is going well?" she asked Hermione.
"Yes. The day will be here soon. Only three more weeks!" Hermione could hardly contain her excitement. "Do you think Draco will be back to accompany you?"
"I'm not sure. I guess it all depends on whether they catch up with Lucius or not."
The other woman smiled gently. She covered Ginny's hand with her own. "Everything will work out of the best, Gin. You know that."
"I know."
"I wanted to have lunch so I could ask you something. It's important, but don't feel like you must say yes if you don't want to."
"Okay."
Hermione took a deep breath, before saying, "Harry and I wanted to know if you'd like to be in our wedding party."
"Hermione-"
"More specifically," she continued, "if you'd like to be my Matron of Honor."
Ginny was speechless by the question. While she and Hermione were good friends, she hadn't expected this question. Granted, she hadn't put a lot of thought into the marriage of her two friends. "Are you sure?"
The brown-haired girl gave her a look indicating she was insane to think otherwise. "Of course I'm sure."
"Of course," Ginny smiled. "Yes, I'll be in your wedding." With her answer, Ginny watched as Hermione visibly lightened. "Tell me about the dresses."
The redhead sat back and listened as Hermione launched into her wedding plans again. This time, Ginny allowed herself to get lost in someone else's relationship.
After they'd finished lunch, Ginny and Hermione sat drinking cups of tea. It was then that Hermione broached the topic of Draco. "How are things going?"
For a moment, Ginny wanted to confess everything. She wanted someone, other than Narcissa, to know what was going on with her. But it was impossible. Perhaps after Lucius was apprehended. But even then Ginny couldn't help but feel all of her friends and family would feel betrayed. "In general?" she questioned. "I'm going a little bit crazy spending all of my time with Draco's mum, but for the most part I'm okay."
"With Draco," Hermione clarified. "How are things between the two of you?"
The redhead struggled with the right words. She really didn't want to lie. "We haven't spoken since he left to find his father," Ginny admitted. "We had a row before he left, and I didn't want him to go."
"Why?"
"His father is insane, for starters. Lucius wasn't…thrilled about our marriage. He's made that very clear."
"How do you feel about your marriage?"
At least Ginny could tell her the truth now. "Did you know Draco and I were seeing each other your seventh year?"
"What?" Hermione asked. "No, I didn't know that."
"Yes, we were seeing each other then. And when I started working for the Ministry, we would see each other at different functions. After a while, things picked up where we'd left off. Yes, our engagement was short, and our marriage hurried, but I don't regret a minute of it."
"You love him, then?"
Ginny nodded. "Yes."
"Then why did you rush the wedding? Why not give your family the opportunity to know him better? There are different ways you could have done this, Gin."
"I know. But we have our reasons for marrying quickly."
Hermione's eyes widened. "So you're pregnant, then?"
"What?" Just when she thought that rumor was dead… "No, I'm not pregnant. Draco and I weren't…you know, before we married. We just didn't want to wait. Draco wasn't thrilled about the hoopla surrounding a big wedding, and we both knew it would be a media event because he was a Malfoy, so we decided to go down to the Ministry and just get it over with."
"That's not very romantic."
The redhead was trying very hard to not snap at the other witch. "I'd rather have Draco now than all the planning and headache people put into planning a wedding."
"Ginny!"
She held up her hand to stop Hermione. "I know you're planning your own wedding, Hermione. But that's you and Harry. It's not me, and it's definitely not Draco. He's really a private person. I don't think he'd want all the intimate details of our wedding vows to be splashed across the front page of some rag. Was it ideal? No, but it worked for us."
The other woman seemed to accept her answer, and moved on. It was obvious to Hermione that it was a sensitive topic to Ginny. Of course, she'd probably heard about it from every member of her family since her marriage a month ago.
Soon after they finished their tea, Harry arrived to take Hermione home. As Ginny watched them walk away, she was glad to be alone. The conversation with Hermione put her in a defensive mood, and it forced her to look at her relationship with Draco closer. She'd never really given a thought to what the rest of her friends and family thought. She knew the circumstances of their marriage were different, but they were together. And it looked like it might stay that way.
Ginny smiled when the waiter refilled her tea cup. "Thanks," she smiled. From her bag, she withdrew the notepad and quill, and started to write.
Dear Draco…