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Forgiveness by jessica k malfoy
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Forgiveness

jessica k malfoy

A/N Thanks for the reviews; I apologize that I haven't been able to answer all of them. Sorry this chapter to so long (for me at least) to update. There's a lot going on right now, like homework and regular work and family and all that. I hope you like this one. This 1st part was just updated, so forgive me if you find typos!

CHAPTER 6 Giving Up

The weekend before the students left for the Holidays, Zoë informed Ginny that there was an impromptu get together on the 7th floor at 11:30.

"Get together?" Ginny asked suspiciously.

"You know, just a few people, some butterbeer, nothing big."

When they entered the Room of Requirement at 11:45, it was packed. Sixth and seventh year students spilled from every corner, the hallway had been silent, but the room was filled with the loud strands of the Weird Sisters, and although Ginny could see no butterbeer, she spotted plenty of bottles of Firewhiskey and what looked like Muggle liquor.

"Oh gods," Ginny groaned. "We're gonna get so busted."

Bianca nodded. "Who did this?"

Zoë's eyes twinkled. "Well, I may have had something to do with it." She gathered up three drinks and handed them out. "Shots?"

"What is this?" Bianca demanded.

"It's called tequila. Muggles drink it."

Ginny sniffed it and sighed. "Right."

"To . . . us," Zoë smiled as her current Slytherin, Alexander wrapped his arm around her waist.

Ginny tipped the amber liquid down her throat and lost her breath with the stinging pain. "This," she gasped when she caught her breath, "is so disgusting!"

Thirty minutes later Ginny was still trying to have a good time. She'd taken two more shots and the heat of the room was beginning to close in on her. Zoë and Alexander were snogging on a couch and Bianca was dancing wildly with Colin and several of his friends. She missed Draco. She'd be having fun if he was here, she decided.

Slowly she crept out of the room, praying feverishly that she didn't run into Filtch or that blasted Ms. Norris. She crept back into the Gryffindor tower and changed into a skirt and tank top, and then threw her robe over her clothes. Her breath reeked of the Muggle liquor, and again she prayed she wouldn't be caught.

She stayed in the shadows as she crept down to the dungeons, hiding once behind a suit of armor when the Bloody Baron floated by. When she reached Draco's door, she let out a noisy rush of air and whispered the password.

Draco was sitting in his chair reading a book and looked up, startled, when she walked in.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Ginny nodded. "Come with me."

"Where?"

"We're having a . . . party."

He narrowed his silver eyes. "You sound funny."

"Muggle alcohol," she giggled.

Draco shook his head. "I can't go to a party! Dumbledore'll sacrifice me if I go and don't stop it. Especially with Muggle alcohol!"

"Please," Ginny pouted. "Everyone else is dancing and snogging and I'm all alone!"

"I can't." He tugged her into his lap. "You stay here."

She pressed kisses into his neck. "It's in the Room of Requirement. If you need a way out, it'll come."

"You're going to get me in trouble," he sighed, his eyes closing as she wrapped her mouth around his ear.

"Come on," she whispered heavily.

They made it back to the 7th floor with no problem and a wave of silence passed over the room when Draco and Ginny entered. Drinks suddenly started disappearing and the music dropped.

Draco shot a quick look at Ginny and then muttered, "Nobody saw me. I am not here!" His tone carried the threat of the words he didn't say - no one could tell on him without exposing their self.

There was a smattering of nervous laughter and slowly the drinks reappeared and the noise level increased.

Draco didn't drink anything, but that didn't stop him from handing Ginny glass after glass of strange, burning liquors. Somewhere around the vicinity of 2 a.m., Ginny found herself on a couch, kissing a reluctant Draco.

"Gin, come on! Just come back to my room with me!" he hissed, his face blank but his eyes darting around the hazy room nervously.

"Uh uh," she hiccupped. "I want you now."

"As tempting as you are, I am not going to snog you in front of my students!"

"Please," she sulked.

"Nope," he shook his head. "Can't."

Ginny tried to argue, but out of no where, a wave of nausea hit her.

"Gin? Are you okay?"

She had barely managed to shake her head before Draco was rushing her from the room.

"Are you going to throw up?" he asked, his voice laced with repulsion.

Ginny shook her head and tried to convince her body to cooperate. "I'm gonna go to bed," she muttered weakly.

"Are you sure?" Draco asked hopefully. "I can, uh, stay with you."

"No!"

"Right then." He hurried her back to the Gryffindor tower and tentatively kissed her temple. "I hope you feel better!"

Ginny barely recalled stumbling to bed, but only after she had violently spilled her guts into the girl's lavatory.

She was woken the next day by the scratchings of an owl.

"Let that damned bird in!" one of her roommates moaned.

Ginny peaked through her bed curtains and spotted Draco's owl at the window. "Oh gods," she moaned. "I'm gonna be sick again!"

She fumbled for the letter and clumsily tore it open.

Gin-

Come to my room. I've got something to make you feel better.

DM

She gagged into the wastebasket as she pulled her robe over the clothes she had slept in.

"Stop!" Bianca moaned. "Oh . . ."

Ginny stumbled from the tower, ignoring the looks from other students. "What?" she moaned when she staggered into Draco's room.

He began to laugh. "You look awful!"

"I'm gonna be sick!"

"Here!" He hastily shoved a small jar at her. "Drink this."

Ginny clapped her hand over her mouth. "I can't."

"Trust me."

She tipped the jar up and forced down the liquid and within instants, she felt better. She sighed and dropped into his chair. "I'm never, ever, ever drinking again."

Draco's mouth curved into a smirk. "Maybe you shouldn't drink as much!"

"You! You gave me all those drinks!"

He laughed. "I didn't force you to swallow."

Ginny shuttered. "What time is it?"

"Noon."

"Thanks for your sympathy last night!"

"I was . . . sympathetic!"
"Sure thing. You couldn't wait to get away!"

Draco shrugged. "I didn't want to be thrown up on!"

She sighed. "I need to shower."

"You can use mine."

"So you can come in?"

"Something like that."

Ginny snorted.

"That's lady like!"

"Give me a few minutes to get decent," she told him.

His smile reached his eyes. "Absolutely. Just make sure decent involves naked!"

***

For Christmas, Ginny gave Draco two jars of red ink, since he always complained about running out while grading papers, and a new watch, since he had misplaced his. The watch was just made for him, she had decided. It had a thick black leather band with a silver face and a serpent outlined in the face of the watch. She hoped he liked it, as it had cost her a serious portion of her savings.

He met her in the Gryffindor common room, much to the surprise of the handful of students in her house who had stayed for the Holidays as well. She opened his present with much apprehension, secretly hoping it wouldn't outshine her own gift. She pulled out an exquisite black winter cloak. It was made of thick velvet and had sliver lining and silver clasps from neck to waist. The hem was embroidered with a design in silver thread, and it was absolutely beautiful.

Draco did like her present, and after a quick lunch, they spent the rest of the afternoon having snowball fights with the other students until they were starving and it was time for the Christmas Feast.

That night, Ginny allowed Draco to remove her trousers and slip his fingers deep inside of her. He stroked her carefully, and then moved down until his face was buried between her thighs and with his tongue and fingers, he gave Ginny her first orgasm.

The next night, she returned the favor.

After that, she decided she was ready. The blazing feelings Draco created inside of her weren't completely satisfied with the rubbing and touching and tasting. She wanted more, she was sure. She wanted to feel Draco, buried inside of her. That night, just before Draco's talented mouth could send her over the edge, she pulled him up towards her. "Here," she whispered, spreading her legs to accommodate him and raising her hips.

"Are you sure?" he asked, hesitating.

"Yes. I want you." She reached up to brush his pale hair from his eyes. I think I love you, she wanted to tell him.

He gazed down at her, as if searching for the truth behind her eyes.

"I do."

"Tell me if I hurt you," he told her, positioning his hips between her thighs. "I don't want to."

She tried to relax, but she couldn't as he used his hand to guide himself into her. At first, all she could feel was pressure as the tip of his erection pushed against her. She closed her eyes and brought her hands to his shoulders. The pain increased a hundred fold as he lowered himself inside of her, and she let out a tiny shriek

"Are you okay?" Draco froze. "I can stop."

"No, don't." She moved her hands down his shoulders and onto his arms, pulling off his unbuttoned shirt as she went. "Just do it," she commanded through gritted teeth.

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

"Uh huh." As Draco gave one hard thrust and buried himself deep inside of her, a cry of hurt slipped from Ginny's lips and as it did, she tightened her grip on Draco's arms. Her thumb passed over a strange, rough spot and her eyes flew open, despite the burning pain.

"Want me to stop?" Draco asked.

She couldn't believe it. How had she not seen it before? Right there, plain as day on his forearm was the Dark Mark. "What . . . what is this?"

Draco glanced at it, and then back at her. "What do you mean?"

Suddenly Ginny wanted out of there. The pain was too much, and Dark Mark staring down at her made her insides swim with sickness. "I thought . . . I though you helped Harry."

Draco didn't answer, but he could feel her body go rigid beneath him.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Draco lifted himself off of her, his eyebrows drawn together. "I thought you knew."

Ginny scrambled out from beneath him. "I didn't know." She stared down at him. "Are you one of them?"

"What do you think?" he snapped, suddenly angry.

"I don't know," she admitted, pulling her clothes back on, confused and ashamed. "Harry never told me either way. But why, why do you have that?"

"I can't believe this!" Draco spat. "Now you're worried about it?"

Hot tears burned beneath her eyelids. "Are you? Are you one of them?"

"No Ginny. No, I'm not."

"Then why?" she asked desperately. He couldn't be a Death Eater.

"Get out," Draco whispered, his voice low and acidic.

Ginny realized she had backed herself up to the door, and clapping her hand over her mouth, she turned to leave, but not before the tears had spilt down her cheeks.

***

For three days, Ginny stayed holed up in her room, trying to figure out what to do. The other students would be coming back Sunday, and she was still waiting for Harry to answer her letter. He was the only person she could get the answers she needed from, so she had Owled him once she calmed down. Now, it seemed a bit ridiculous. If Draco was a known Death Eater, Fred and George certainly would not have made any type of business deal with him. They were in the Order, after all; they would have known. Besides that, Dumbledore would have never asked him to come to the school if he had been a supporter of Voldemort.

Ginny was sick of pacing her room, but her pride kept her from leaving. How could she face Draco? She quite possibly had attempted to lose her virginity to a Death Eater, or, even worse, she had just made a huge prat out of herself.

But it didn't make sense. Draco was so different, so nice, so changed, she simply couldn't believe he had been a Death Eater until the end of the war. And if he had been in the past, well, people could change. She had to apologize. She wished she hadn't of run out of there, wished she had just asked him calmly about it, but she couldn't change the past. There were no spells or potions for that.

A scratching at the glass rattled her from her thoughts and she glanced up, seeing the brown school owl holding an envelope. Quickly she scrambled to let the owl in, gave it a treat, and tore the letter open.

Ginny,

We had heard Malfoy was teaching at Hogwarts and I hope he's fair, although he couldn't possibly be any worse than Snape. From what I know, Malfoy approached Dumbledore to ask for help. His father was killed by the Death Eaters, you know. Dumbledore took him in, and after he proved himself, he joined the Order. I don't know what he did to prove himself, but I do know that he was there when Voldemort died. Malfoy killed quite a few Death Eaters who tried to interfere with me and Voldemort. So I'd have to say he has changed, although I'm not exactly planning on befriending him. I know your brothers trust him enough to make some sort of top secret business deal with them though. Hope that answers your questions. Have fun!

Love, Harry

Ginny bit her lower lip as she tucked the letter away. So Draco's father had been killed by Death Eaters. Dear gods, he probably hated her for acting like such a ridiculous little school girl. That settled it. She nervously swallowed her pride and went to find him.

Her stomach wrapped around her throat, Ginny knocked on his bedroom door. Draco opened the door and stared down at her. He had dark circles under his eyes and smelled suspiciously strong of Firewhiskey. Then he slammed the door shut.

Ginny sighed and said the password. It opened again, and Draco was standing in front of his desk, drinking what Ginny knew to be a sober up potion. Ginny shut the door and leaned against it.

Draco kept his back to her, skillfully ignoring her.

"Will you listen?" she asked finally.

He didn't answer.

"Will you tell me what happened? I didn't know. I had no idea."

Silence.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I reacted that way. I was just so surprised."

Nothing.

"Draco, please! I am so sorry."

"My father told me it was the best thing to do," he said finally without turning around. "He said following the Dark Lord was the only way to change the way things were, get rid of Mudbloods and half breeds. So I did. When I was sixteen, I got the Dark Mark."

Ginny sucked in a silent breath of air.

"They killed my father the summer before my seventh year." His voice was cold and hard and almost cruel. Ginny had last heard that voice taunting her brother and Hermione, calling out Harry two years before. That voice had never been directed at her. "They did it in front of me. Said he wasn't doing the right thing. Said he was going soft on the Mudbloods. But he wasn't. If anyone was loyal to that fucking bastard, it was my father, and they killed him. Said it was a good example. I had to watch." He was panting now, as if the very words were exhausting him.

Ginny's hand was clapped over her mouth and tears were in her eyes. "I'm so, so sorry," she managed to whisper.

"It's not your fault," he replied bitterly.

"I'm sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I'm sorry I didn't ask you or trust you." She crept across the room until she was directly behind him and circled her arms around his waist. "I didn't know." His body remained stiff, but she refused to let go. She had never felt more absurdly silly and uncaring in her entire life.

Slowly, meticulous, Draco's body began to relax, and after what felt like eternity and back, he turned to hug her.


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