Title: Kissing Lessons for the Beginner
Author: Amethyst
Author E-mail: AmethystJackson@hotmail.com
Category: Romance/Humor
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Harry needs to learn how to kiss. Who do you think might be kind enough to instruct him?
Pairing: I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.
Spoilers: Fifth book. But if you haven't read it by now why on earth are you reading fanfiction instead?
Disclaimer: Not mine. If it was, I'd be rich.
Author's Note: This is not a one-shot. *gasp!* But I've no idea how long it will be, how often I'll update, or if I'll be saving all the updates exclusively for fanfict00bs (to find us, just go search the name on livejournal.com), which I posted the first chapter of this for. If I update on the side and don't post it for my FFT date, I'll be sure to post a notice. So…yeah. Ask me no questions about when the next chapter is coming, and I'll tell you no lies.
Lesson One - Your Basic Peck
Harry's first kiss had been a complete and total disaster. He hadn't realized this at first; he'd been too focused on deciphering Cho's feelings initially, and then he'd been too busy being angry with her…but after he got over Cho, and more pressing matters - such as disturbing prophecies - became somewhat less pressing, his thoughts had inevitably returned to the thoughts of a normal teenage boy, and he began to think about girls again.
From there, he'd had to think about kissing again. He wondered if he really wasn't completely horrible at it. Hermione had said he wasn't, but he'd decided that she couldn't possibly be sure, as she'd never kissed him…and that thought had been his downfall.
He hadn't meant to start thinking about kissing Hermione. He'd never even taken the time to think of Hermione as the sort of girl that he'd want to kiss…but there it was, out of the blue. He wondered what it would be like to kiss her.
He had a feeling it wouldn't be wet. Hermione didn't cry much, and he didn't imagine that she'd do it while they kissed. Besides, her lips had always seemed like they were on the dry side. She didn't lick them often and she never wore sticky lip gloss like other girls.
He didn't imagine it would be as terrifying or paralyzing as kissing Cho had been. He thought, with Hermione, that he'd probably be able to move enough to at least put his arms around her if she kissed him, and perhaps then she wouldn't pull away as quickly as Cho had - he had a feeling he hadn't gotten much out of kissing Cho because it hadn't been given enough time.
And after he kissed Hermione, he didn't think things would be quite as confusing as they'd been with Cho. He wouldn't have to ask Hermione to go to Hogsmeade with him because they always went to Hogsmeade together, and he wouldn't have to worry about her being jealous because she didn't have any girls to be jealous of. She wasn't the jealous type anyway, Harry didn't think.
All in all, he thought he'd probably be better off with Hermione than Cho…in fact, Hermione was probably the perfect girl for him…but he didn't know what to do about that. How, exactly, was he supposed to explain to her that he'd randomly decided he rather liked her that way?
It seemed to Harry that the only way of going about it was to actually kiss Hermione and find out if she minded kissing him…but he wasn't sure if he wanted to find out that Hermione didn't want to kiss him…because then she'd probably hex him into next week…
He decided, eventually, that he needed Hermione's advice, and he needed to get it without letting on that he was talking about her.
"Hermione?"
"Hmm?"
"You remember last year, when Cho kissed me and we were talking about it?"
"Yes…"
"D'you really think I'm not a bad kisser?"
Hermione seemed as though she was trying not to laugh as she looked up at him from her essay. "Oh, Harry, that's just silly."
He frowned, searching for a way to explain himself. "Well, it's just…I'd like to know whether I'm any good at it or not, before I try kissing anyone else…and I don't fancy asking Cho how I did…"
Hermione chuckled. "And what are you going to do if you find out you are a bad kisser?"
Harry blinked. "I don't know…"
"You'll have to practice on someone, won't you?"
"I guess so…but…"
"But you've no one to practice on. …So I suppose you'll just have to practice on me. …Well, you'll have to find out if you're bad at it or not first. But if you are…then I'm probably your only option."
Harry gaped at her, wondering what on earth he'd just gotten himself into. "…Are you volunteering…?"
"Well, friends help each other like that."
"…Like that?" Harry said with alarm, thinking of Ron. He would most definitely not help him like that.
"…Well, not always like that. But in this case, yes."
Harry had a hard time thinking straight, faced with Hermione telling him she was willing to kiss him as much as was necessary. He wasn't sure if it was an improvement in this situation or not. "So…so how do I find out if I'm bad or not?"
"Well, you kiss me, obviously."
"Well…all right, then. Now?"
Hermione glanced around the common room. They were the only two still up. "Might as well."
Nervously, Harry went over to where she was sitting on the floor. He hadn't felt this nervous with Cho, strangely. Then again, with Cho, he was too shocked to think about what she thought about him…but now, kissing Hermione for the first time and knowing that she would be evaluating him, he had butterflies flapping full-force in his stomach.
He sat beside her on his knees as she stared at him expectantly. Harry watched her, paralyzed. How was he supposed to kiss her when she was staring at him like that?
"Would it help if I closed my eyes?" she asked, trying to hide her amusement.
"Maybe," Harry said, embarrassed. "It's just weird, it's like I'm taking a test. One that I didn't study for."
Hermione laughed. "Harry, you don't usually study much for tests anyway."
Harry shrugged. "And that makes the prospect of taking a test all the more unpleasant. I'm always unprepared."
"It's just me, Harry," she said, taking his hand in hers. "No pressure, nothing to be afraid of. It's not as if we're on a date - I'm not going to ignore your owls if you're a bad kisser."
Harry couldn't help chuckling. "I never owl you anyway."
"See? There's no problem." She smiled at him. "I'm going to close my eyes now. Just kiss me."
Harry watched her sit back and close her eyes, parting her lips slightly. He watched the light of the fire flicker on her face, sparks of gold in her hair, and he had an epiphany - the worse he was at kissing, the more he'd get to kiss her. Oh, yes. He could appreciate Hermione's brilliance, whether she meant to be brilliant or not. This practicing idea was the best she'd ever had.
Harry leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. No, definitely not wet. But soft, so soft. It filled him with a warm, tingling feeling. He pulled away, suddenly remembering to be nervous again, and waited for her verdict.
Hermione blinked at him. "Oh, Harry, don't tell me that's all you've got."
Harry blushed and looked into the fire. "Sorry."
"No - Harry, I didn't mean it was bad - it wasn't, it was nice - it's just…you've got to be able to give more than a little peck…there are so many different ways to kiss a person -"
"There are?" Harry said, alarmed. "How many different ways could you possibly do it?"
Hermione made a sound dangerously close to a giggle. "Well, you can do it with your mouth closed or open, with tongue - and then there are the other things that are going on to consider, like where your hands are and which way you tilt your head and -"
Harry felt a bit faint. What had he gotten himself into? "And…you're going to teach me all that?"
Hermione shrugged. "I guess so."
Harry looked at Hermione's slightly suggestive expression and swallowed. "All right, then."
To be continued. Really, I swear. Leave me alone.