Intuition, Chapter 15
"Listen Ron…I can explain." Started Ginny, speaking a little nervously.
"Oh really?" Ron nervously laughed. "Than please do. I'm just dying to know why you were snogging one of my former…" Ron glared at Seamus "friends."
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I have feelings for Seamus? Damn you Ron! I'm 15 years old for crying out loud! LET ME LIVE MY LIFE!" Yelled Ginny.
Ron was taken aback his sister had never yelled at him like that. "Seamus…I can't believe you would do that! My sister! I thought you were my friend?" Ron exclaimed.
"I am Ron. I am your friend. But I also have feelings for your sister. And the reason we kept it quiet was because of you!"
"Ron." Lavender started. "Please, listen to Seamus. They kept it quiet because of you because they care about you and didn't want you to explode like you just did!"
"Fine! Side with Seamus too Lav! Go ahead!" Ron yelled. Lavender looked stricken. She looked at the two parties. On one side was Seamus, whom she loved, and the bestfriend she's had since she was born and on the other side the love of her life.
Lavender looked at Ron and spoke quietly. " I didn't want to choose sides believe me but what you're doing here is unfair and just plain wrong. I'm sorry I can't back you up for this." She moved to Seamus and looked at Ron nod his head and walk away.
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Hermione felt so alone that night. Sitting down in the common room alone. Only the crackling fire to keep her company and warmth. Harry. He used to spend all his nights with her. Them. Snuggling up in the comfy love chair and forgetting all their troubles together. But she was by herself that night for Harry was with Maria. She trusted Harry with all her life but it was different now. She had yet another intimidation. Was Cho not enough? No Maria had to be added to the list of threats.
Hermione quickly fell into a slumber. She was soon awaken by the sound of laughter. Harry and Maria had come back from their walk around the castle. Hermione felt warm drops on her cheeks quickly drying up.
"Hermione have you been crying?" Asked Harry concerned. 'That's it. I was crying in my sleep but why?' Thought Hermione to herself.
Ofcourse she knew why. She was so desperately sad. Because facing the truth was too hard but she had too. 'He doesn't love me anymore.' She thought. Nothing was the same as it used to be. It all started a week ago. All their nights together were spent on their own side and their heartfelt conversations were now just a lovely memory.
"Oh no Harry…It's just the ashes from the fire mixing up in the air that's making my eyes water. That's all. So…did you two have a nice evening?" Hermione asked trying to change the subject. But the look in Harry's eyes gave away her lie and stripped the awful truth. He knew. She lied again.
"We had a splendid evening. I'm so tired though. I'm going to bed goodnight you two." Said Maria before walking up the stairs.
Hermione avoided eye contact with Harry. How could she look at him? Sadness filled her spirits and resolved in a low sigh.
"Hermione." Harry spoke softly just for her to hear. But she wasn't answering.
"Look at me Hermione." But yet again Hermione didn't look at Harry.
He was suspicious of her actions. He loved her so much he couldn't think straight and this silence was killing him. He looked back at the last few weeks and realized that Hermione and him had been starting a process. Of falling apart. He loved her and she loved him but somehow something was missing.
"What's happening to us?" Asked Hermione quietly.
Harry stood silent and pondered on a respectable answer.
"I don't know." How was that all he could say?
"I thought sex was supposed to strengthen a relationship. But what happened to us Harry?" Asked Hermione again.
"I don't know. All I know is I just love you and don't want to leave you."
Hermione was stricken. "Leaving me?" She asked her voice quivering a bit. "I never…never thought about leaving you Harry. I love you too but…"
"But what?" He asked. Hermione looked at him her pupils moving left and right seeming to search for an answer.
"But for a couple of weeks now I haven't been feeling what I used to feel when I was with you. It's like there's this empty space in my heart. It's hard for me because I know I love you." Hermione said.
"Just not in love with me anymore. Is that it?" Asked Harry his voice also quivering.
Hermione just stood and looked at her companion. She didn't know what to answer because maybe what Harry had just said was the answer to her thinking. But it just didn't make sense to Hermione. How could she not be in love with him anymore? She knew in her heart that she loved Harry but he might have actually hit the undeniable truth.
Harry kissed Hermione's cheek and went up the stairs and stood there to let the tears fall and hit the cold hard floor.
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For the next few days Hermione and Harry had avoided each other. They were still together but separated. Everybody in school was quiet when Hermione and Harry were in the same room. Lavender spent her time with Hermione letting her cry on her shoulder.
Harry was depressed more than anything. He spent his time by himself. Ron tried to help but Harry just pushed everyone out of his life even Sirius.
His schoolwork was sloppy and he seemed to be in a trance. Hermione was the same way and went into deep depression.
Lavender and Ron also were not having good times with their relationship. Ron was mad that Lavender sided with Seamus and thought that she did this out of real love and not just friendship love.
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"Ron you're going to have to speak to me." Lavender started. Sitting across from him in the library.
"Well just not right now." He said going back to his book.
"I'm sorry that I sided all right? I just thought that Seamus and Ginny were right. They have the right to date. I mean I could see the look of love in their eyes. The way Seamus looks at your sister. God…it's just how you look at me. Ginny told me how that look makes her feel. It makes her feel whole and complete. I just gave in because that's the way you make me feel."
Ron put his book down and looked at Lavender. He raised his hands up and spoke. "OK you got me." Lavender laughed and kissed him.
"I love you." She said.
"I love you too." He responded.
"Quiet!" Yelled Madame Pince. Ron had a mischievous look in his eyes. He quickly took Lavender's hand and led her out of the library and rushed her in a secluded corner of the castle.
"Now where were we…" Ron started. Lavender chuckled and kissed him.
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Harry was staring at the crackling fire. He felt completely alone. The love of his god damned messed up life had vanished. Sure she was still there, they were still together but the magic seemed gone. She was not in love with him anymore and it was killing him. Or he thought. Instead of the aching pain in one's heart he got confusion and felt mentally and emotionally tired.
"Hello stranger." Maria's voice echoed in his mind.
"Hey." Harry said.
"I'm sorry about Hermione and you." She said putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Harry nodded and rested his cheek upon her hand before getting up and leaving for outside.
He looked at the lake and saw a figure standing there. He smiled as he saw that not so bushy hair anymore. Automatically he felt some warmth inside his body. Some but not enough. Not as much as there was when he saw…her.
He walked up behind her and looked at her reflection in the water. Her face was pale and her eyes were pudgy and red from all the crying.
"I so desperately want us to work Harry." Hermione exclaimed.
"So do I. But how? How can our relationship still work if we feel like this?" He asked.
Hermione shook her head. "I don't know how it can work but I do think I know why we feel this
way."
"How?" Asked Harry who was dying to know.
"We're tired Harry. We're emotionally worn out. I don't know how but we are. We've got nothing
left to give for some reason. All that pressure about sex, Draco Malfoy, the lies, Viktor Krum, Cho Chang…the list goes
on. We're mentally and emotionally tired and we just can't feel anything anymore because we're worn
out."
Harry realized that this made sense and nodded. "Will this last forever?"
"I don't know Harry. I just don't know."
End of Chapter 15, review please! The song 'Angel' by Amanda Perez inspired H/Hr parts of this chapter