Chapter Six: Apathy, and the Gathering
Hermione was once again carrying Baby Harry. Four had been visibly jealous at first, then he settled into walking alongside the two, waving a stick he had found underneath the tree. He slashed and hacked with it as though it were a sword.
"Hey, who are you fighting with?" Hermione called out, amused.
"I don't know. Maybe a dragon, or my cousin, maybe even a big snake!" He called back, clearly excited at the thought.
Hermione shivered. "Well don't go getting any ideas!" she admonished, remembering how Harry had really once fought a huge snake, with a real sword.
Four cocked his head to one side. "Do you hear that?" he asked.
"Hear what?" The only sounds Hermione had heard since coming here were her voice, Four's voice, Baby Harry crying, and the crackle of flames and the soughing of the wind.
"It sounds like someone talking, over that way." Four said, pointing into the mist at their left, away from the road.
Hermione didn't like the idea of leaving the road. "Are you sure? I can't hear anything."
"I'm sure." Four responded. And without further ado, he walked off into the mist.
"Four, get back here!" Hermione called. She had lost sight of him before he had even taken two steps. Grumbling to herself, Hermione stalked off after him.
*
She found Four crouching beside another Shard.
Looking at him, Hermione realized at once that this was Apathy. He looked to be about seven years old, with a dark, unsmiling face, and a look of such mistrust and hopelessness in his eyes that Hermione wondered how she would persuade him to come with her.
Four smiled at Apathy, who did not smile back.
"Hi, I'm Harry, though Hermione calls me Four. What's your name?"
"Harry." Apathy said listlessly.
"Is that your name, or what people call you?"
"Both."
"Where are you from?"
"Here." Apathy answered in that same toneless voice.
"Really? I'm from there," Four pointed back the way he and Hermione had come. "Or somewhere near there anyway. This is Hermione, she's nice."
Hermione smiled at Apathy, who did not smile back.
"Nice to you maybe." He said sullenly.
"And you too, she's nice to everybody I think. She's never been mean to me, except when I asked her too many questions, but she was sorry afterwards." Four explained.
Apathy looked at Hermione, mistrust apparent on his face. "Who are you?" He asked, somewhat rudely.
Hermione sniffed. "There's no need to take that tone of voice with me. I've not been rude to you, have I?"
"Maybe not yet, but you will be, everyone is, sooner or later." His tone of voice left no room for Hermione to doubt that what he said was true.
She sat down next to him and Four, shifting Baby Harry to her shoulder as she did so.
"Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there? I won't be rude to you, no matter how rude you are to me. I care too much about you for that."
Apathy's head shot up, his eyes were wide and he looked at her with a look of complete and utter astonishment on his face. "You what?" he said so quietly that Hermione practically had to lip read to understand what he was saying.
"I care about you." She repeated.
Apathy sprang to his feet, fists clenched, defiance and disbelief clear on his face.
"No, you don't! You can't! No one does! No one ever has! No one ever will! You don't care about me, how could you? You don't even know me! No one else cares about me, so why should I? No one cares!" He shouted.
Hermione was about to answer, to insist that she did care about him, but Four spoke up first. "She does too and I can prove it!"
Hermione and Apathy both turned to stare at him.
"How?" Apathy demanded suspiciously.
"She cares about me, so she must care about you, too." Four stated simply.
He's more right than he could ever know, Hermione thought. She stayed silent as Four took Apathy by the hand and led him to her. Apathy looked downcast and ashamed of his outburst, and Hermione longed to comfort him.
She didn't have long to wait.
Four took Baby Harry from Hermione's arms again, and sat down on the grass. Turning to Apathy, he said, "Sit on her lap." Apathy looked up at Hermione quickly, and in that short glance Hermione could see that he wanted to believe that someone could care for him, wanted so badly to be loved, for someone to be there for him.
Wordlessly, she reached out and took Apathy by the hand. Pulling him down onto her lap, she put her arms around him. Like Four had, he seemed unsure of himself, and she could tell he had half a mind to try and escape. She put her arms around him and stroked his hair, as she had done with Four. He shivered, and she held him closer, rubbing his shoulders, back and arms, up and down, back and forth, until he turned his face into her neck and sighed, a tearful sigh that told Hermione he was trying not to cry.
She placed a hand under his chin and raised his head until she could look into his eyes.
"Listen to me Harry," she said gently. "I know you've lived a hard life, and you've suffered more than anyone else I've ever met, and you've had to go through all of that alone. But not anymore. What I said before was true. I do care about you, more than you can know now. And I will never abandon you, no matter what." Tears were sliding openly down his face now. He raised a hand to brush them away, but Hermione stopped him. "There's no need to be ashamed, Harry. Not all tears are a bad thing, sometimes it even helps to cry." He laid his head back on her shoulder, body shaking as he cried.
"I'll never leave you." she whispered.
"Promise?" He asked, his voice so full of hope.
"I promise."
At that moment, Hermione felt a heat spread from her pocket throughout her body.
Looking down, she saw the pocket of her jeans was glowing. Apathy stared down too, and scrambled off her lap as though he had been burned.
"What's that?" he asked, clearly afraid.
Hermione reached into her pocket and withdrew the two pieces of Soul Glass that she had collected from Four and Baby Harry. Apathy reached into the pocket of his own jeans and withdrew another piece of Soul Glass, also glowing, but not as brightly as the others.
"What are these?" he whispered.
Hermione took Apathy's piece, holding all three in her cupped hands. The light at the center of each pulsed, as though trying to rejoin itself, but was unable to do so.
There's no Gathering Shard here, they can't be joined unless I have the piece from the gathering point. She felt like crying. Dumbledore had told her that a positive shard was absolutely necessary to the joining of the Soul Glass. How could she do this without one?
She clenched her teeth in frustration, then looked up quickly as she heard Four cry out.
Four, holding Baby Harry, was standing next to Apathy. All three were glowing, with the same bright light emanating from the center of the pieces of Soul Glass in Hermione's hands. Apathy looked down at his lit hands in confusion, while Four looked at Hermione.
"What's happening to us?" He asked, clearly frightened.
Hermione hadn't the foggiest idea. She closed her eyes. Come on Granger, think. Put those famed brain cells to the test. What could this be? She could feel the Glass vibrating in her hands, and the light they gave shone through her closed eyelids.
She thought carefully about all that had happened in the last few hours. What had yet to be answered? Dumbledore had said the trick would be to convince the Shards to trust her, yet here she was with all three of them. Abuse was supposed to be dark, yet she had been amazed at how good he seemed. Loss was supposed to be difficult to experience, yet apart from the scar on his forehead, he showed no ill signs of what he had undergone. Apathy was supposed to be uncaring, but after having known him only a few minutes, he had opened up to her in a way he never had before. How was this possible?
She looked at the three Shards, standing there, lit up by some inner light that came from an unknown source. Four no longer looked frightened, but happy. Baby Harry was laughing, a sweet little laugh that is only possible for babies to have. And Apathy, he was actually smiling, his eyes no longer looked dark, but hopeful, and he was staring at her with his eyes wide open, seeing her, but not really seeing her so much as seeing who she was. And the look on his face told her he liked what he saw, and knew he could trust it.
And then she understood.
Hope. That was the missing shard. It didn't need to have its own form because it already existed in the other three. Despite being abused, despite believing for years that he wasn't worth the air he breathed, despite no-one caring for him, and therefore not being able to care for himself, despite growing up without people who cared for him, despite all the hardship, suffering and pain he had experienced, Harry still had Hope. It may have been dimmer at some times than others, it may have been all but banished from his mind and heart, been disregarded, trampled on, and disappointed, but still it existed within Harry. It was so much a part of him that it didn't need to exist as a Shard to serve as a gathering point. It was enough that it was there, inside Harry, making it possible for him to keep going, even though there must have been times where he wanted so desperately for all of it to end.
Hermione smiled at the three shards, who, including Baby Harry, smiled back. She held out her hands, the pieces of the Soul Glass shining brighter as the Shards drew nearer to her. Apathy reached out his hand, and placed it over the piece he had given Hermione. Suddenly he seemed to be made of nothing but light, a glowing, radiant being. Abuse, called Four by Hermione, wrapped his hand around Baby Harry's, then guided both to the other two pieces, which were so close together, Four could touch his with one finger while making sure that Baby Harry was touching his own. All three were now glowing with a blinding radiance. Hermione wanted to close her eyes, but couldn't.
How brightly Hope shines. She thought.
Phoenix song once again rose in her ears, and she remembered reading once that Phoenixes are symbols of rebirth, the renewal of life, and hope.
Finally, though her eyes weren't shut, she could no longer see anything but light. She neither knew or cared if she breathed, if she ever returned to her own body, if she ever did anything again. All she knew, was that when the light faded, she would be back in Grimmauld Place, and Harry would be all right.
(AN: That's what you think, Hermione! MWAAHAAHAA! Ahem. In case you were wondering, "soughing" is a real word. Look it up if you don't believe me.)