Sorry the wait has been so long.
Harry stayed in the house a little longer. He ran himself a nice hot bath, which was much needed. It relieved some of the tension in his muscles form a night on a couch and a long journey in economy class of a plane. Hermione bath wasn't as big as the one back at Harry's house but it would have to do. Half an hour later he walked out of the house, into the rising sunlight. He locked the door behind him and began heading down the street.
According to the weather forecast it was meant to be much better than yesterday, but given the time of year, he still took his jacket with him. When he was sure no one could see him he reached into his pocket and drew out his wand. It felt strange to his touch, for over the last four years he ad become un-familiarised with it. However he wasn't sure how to ask for a taxi driver to go to "the burrow" So magic was the only choice. He didn't fancy using the floo network, not even at the best of times.
He closed his eyes and concentrated on the transference of matter which he knew from his past life. He felt a vague tingle, as though his skin was crawling with ants, which quickly subsided. When he opened his eyes he found himself standing in front of the Burrow, looking just as tatty as ever. Harry stared up at the house, with its mishmash of extensions and its suspiciously unbalanced structure. If he ever had a house, other than in Hogwarts then this was it.
He knocked on the door, and heard the pounding of footsteps as someone ran down the rickety old stairs just inside. The door swung open to reveal a short red hair girl that Harry recognised immediately. Ginny hadn't changed one bit. She looked at him, taken back for a moment before a look of delight spread over her features. She leapt towards him and threw her arms around his neck, cutting off his hair.
"Harry, I haven't seen you in forever." She said as she inhaled the smell of his hair.
"Come on Ginny. No sex on the doorstep." Ron said with a laugh as he emerged from the living room. Ginny quickly let go of Harry and readjusted her clothes. Although they had never loved each other, they did both have a sort of casual relationship for a few months during the begging of the seventh year. Something Ron had been very disapproving of at first.
"You pig." Ginny spat at her brother as he pushed her back inside the house, and tried to shoo her upstairs.
"Harry didn't come all the way here to see you. Go play Barbie or something." Ron huffed at her as he invited Harry in. Ginny gave up on talking to Harry for now, but she didn't go back upstairs.
"Harry can play doctors and nurses with me if he wants." She said, to annoy her brother.
"So Harry what you fancy doing today?" Ron asked as he had years ago. "There is a new place that opened up that sells good food. We could have lunch there. It's none of that fancy stuff either. I'm talking proper big food." He said as he started salivating.
"Yeah well I need to go out shopping. I didn't bring many clothes with me, and if I'm going to this wedding I'm going to need a suit as well aren't I."
"So you're still planning on going then?" he asked in surprise, as though he expected Harry to have seen the light.
"Of course I am." He said with a smile. The burrow was always a place of laughter, even now that Half the Weasley children had moved out.
"What's all the commotion." Miss Weasley asked as she walked into the room. "If You've gone and broken another…" She said before falling quiet. She had spotted Harry sitting on the chair.
"Hello Molly." He said as he stood up. He held out his hand to shake, instead she pulled him into a hug which made Ginny jealous.
"You boys, trying to act all grown up all the time. I'm so glad to see you back. Will you be staying long?"
"I will be in England until after the wedding I expect. However I won't be staying here, at least not tonight." He explained.
"Well whenever you do want to stay round there is a bedroom for you here." Molly said with tears in her eyes.
"It's mine." Ginny whispered so her mother couldn't hear her.
They spent the next half hour sitting round catching up on things. Molly bored Harry with details about an art course that she had been taking during her spare time, whilst Ron told stories about funny things that had happened at his Quidditch practice. Molly made them up some hot chocolate and bought in some fruit cake, which was as good as ever, but tasted better than anything Harry had tasted in years.
"We will drop back in the afternoon." Harry assured Molly and Ginny as they bid them good by. It was about nine o clock, and they expected to be shopping for a few hours followed by a large lunch.
"Arthur will be home from work at about dinner time if you're still here then." She told them.
"I probably won't be but I will make sure to catch up with him at some point."
Mr Weasley would probably want top hear all about the intern-at.
They walked out of the front door into the street.
"Where were you thinking of shopping Harry, Diagon alley?" Ron asked as they walked over to his car. Although Ron had nothing against magic he did rather enjoy driving his black convertible car. He realised that there was a correlation between the number of miles he drove in the car, and the number of girlfriends he had. He made sure to drive plenty.
"Well no I want Muggle clothes. I was thinking of going to that shopping complex in London, you know the one near the river."
"Well that sounds good. We can drop into Diagon Alley afterwards for lunch, since that is where the food is… Plus mum wants me to buy some more floo powder."
"Ok that sounds like a plan." Harry said as he climbed into the passenger seat and did up his seat belt.
"Where would you like to go?" Ron asked pretending to be a taxi driver.
"To the stars!" Harry replied, causing them both to burst out laughing.
The morning was enjoyable in many ways. The shopping had gone quiet well, and Harry now had several items of clothes to wear for his short stay in England. However lunch had gone a bit differently. As Harry had stepped into Diagon alley, they had sat down, but not shortly after finishing their garlic bread a bit of a crowd started to form. Harry guessed someone must have tipped off the prophet, because within the few minutes that followed several reporters apparated to the scene to take pictures and shout questions at Harry.
"Oh sod this, let's leave." Harry had said as he had thrown some money down on the table, before making a hasty dash back into Muggle London. They ended up eating at one of those awful fast food restaurants, but since Hermione wasn't with them it meant they could eat without being badgered about human rights and food safety standards.
"I bet I know what's going to be in the paper tomorrow. Harry said as he leant against the side of Ron's car, a slice of Pizza in his hand. They had parked the car at the side of a public green, and were now watching some senior citizens playing golf. It wasn't itself a fun sport to watch, but once you started to place bets on how many times they would miss the golf ball and whack up a clump of earth, it became more exciting.
"Well I don't see the harm in people knowing you are back." Ron said offhandedly. "Just last year the yeti came back to England and hardly anyone went looking for that.
"Yeah but still it is kind of annoying, I don't like attention." He mumbled as he took a bite of his pizza, causing molten hot tomato sauce covered cheese to slap down and burn his chin.
"What do you want to do now?" Ron asked. "Normally I just slob around on Tuesday mornings, but if you like I'm sure we can find something more exciting, a strip bar perhaps?"
"No that's all right." Harry said as he looked across the grass at a pensioner who had let the club fly out of his hand, and was now helping carry an unconscious woman into the club house.
"Are you sure, I have been waiting for an excuse…" Ron began before he was cut off.
"No it's all right. Today has been more than enough excitement for one day thanks. If you don't mind I think slobbing round would suit me fine. Besides I'm sure your mother and Ginny would like to catch up with me."
"Yeah, I was meant to be repairing the garden wall while we are it. Come on then, let's head back." It was just gone half past one when they pulled into the drive way of the Burrow.
Molly and Ginny had just finished their lunch of home made tomato soup and bread when Harry and Ron walked in and flopped down on the chairs.
"Had a good morning dear?" She asked Harry, rather than her own son.
"I got what I needed. How was your day?"
They made small talk for the next half an hour as they cleaned up the pots and pans, and then sat around having a drink of hot chocolate in the afternoon sun. The Weasley house now had a conservatory, as well as a small swimming pool. Apparently Ron had built then during his free time.
"What? Do I have to, it's just I'm entertaining a guest." Ron said to the head in the fireplace as everyone listened from the other room. "No not like that you sicko! Well can't he play with a broken leg, he isn't going to be running on it or anything…Fine." Ron said with a sigh, before reappearing a moment later.
"Looks like Gellis that idiot has had his leg broken in practice so they want me to come in for the match this afternoon." He explained to his family. "I'm afraid that means I won't be able to hang out with you today Harry, I can give you a lift home if you would like before I head over to the stadium."
"Harry can stay here. I'm a friend to." Ginny piped up, causing Ron to raise an eyebrow.
"Yeah I guess you could, would you be ok with that Harry?" Ron asked, before receiving a nod. "Well in that case I guess I will see you around Harry, tomorrow maybe, I dunno, I will pop round anyway to see how things are. Hermione is difficult to live with I expect." Harry ignored this last comment and merely waved his friend goodbye. He wasn't to upset about having Ron leave early, after all it meant he could spend the remaining few hours before heading back home with Ginny, who if not a great listener was nothing else.
"Hey Harry, would you like to go for a walk?" Ginny asked.
"Yeah sure I can do unless Molly has something for me to do." He replied as he turned to misses Weasley.
"Don't be silly Harry, you're a guest and I can't give a guest work to do, besides Ron gets it all done, which isn't surprising considering the amount of time he spends here. You would think he would want to get a life of his own…" She began o say before being cut off.
"Mum you're waffling on again." Ginny hissed in embarrassment.
"Sorry dear." Molly said as she excused herself.
"If you just wait a minute Harry I need to get changed into something more suitable." He wondered what was unsuitable about what she was wearing, shorts and a t-shirt. He knew however that when a girl said she is going to get into something more suitable it is best leave her alone (often it leads to sex afterwards!)
She came down the stairs some five minutes later, wearing a short lemon coloured dress which frilled out at the bottom. It was quiet flattering on her figure.
"I was figuring we could go down along the footpath, through the woods, and back along the field." She told him. He nodded and they set off, into the warm afternoon sunshine.
They walked in silence for a few minutes, as they made their way down the street, past the few other houses, up to the rickety old sign that said "public footpath." As they passed this, onto the mud trodden path they began talking.
"Why did you come back Harry?" She asked, walking ahead of him so he couldn't see her face. "I mean, it's been four years. If you could stay gone for four years then you can stay gone forever. Why did you come back now?"
"Well I came back for Hermione's wedding. I promised along time ago that I would be there, and I intend to keep that promise." He said. He liked the way Ginny and him could always have very open conversations. It was something about her attitude that made him feel he could tell her whatever he wanted, without being judged for it.
"But why do you want to be here for the wedding Harry. I spoke to Hermione and I don't think she was expecting you back. She wouldn't have minded. What do you hope to gain from being back here?"
"I don't hope to gain anything." He hesitated. "As I said I came back for the promise I made, and because she is a friend and I wanted to see it through."
"I think that's rubbish." Ginny said absently as she continued walking. The trees grew denser here, and where the sun shone through the braches there were patches of shade. She was trying to only walk on the shaded patches, but since the braches swayed in the wind, this wasn't easy.
Harry grew slightly angry at this comment, but he suppressed it. He was good at pushing his emotions aside.
"What do you think then?" He asked curiously.
"Well I think you came back to try and stop the wedding from taking place. I think that for some reason you feel as if you're only now loosing her. You're wrong Harry, you lost her a long time ago. You lost her the day you walked out of her life. You lost her and it is your fault.
"I think you're wrong." He replied curtly.
"And I think you don't even know why you came back I think you don't know what you think, and I think you don't even know what you feel, if you do still feel that is." She said angrily.
She then turned round with a smile though, which surprised Harry.
"But that's ok." She said sweetly. "I'm going to help you find out." He paused for a minute as they walked on. Ginny knew him better than he knew himself, which was scary. Especially since it had been so long. He thought he had changed. Become a new person, but if she could read him so easily, maybe he wasn't as different as he had once hoped, maybe his mask wasn't that original.
"Thankyou." He said quietly.
"Ok then Harry tell me about your life. What is so great about it? What do you do everyday in your life that makes you glad you wake up?"
"I enjoy my job." He said after a moments thought.
"You might enjoy it but you don't love your job. No body loves a job."
"Hermione does." Harry countered. Ginny shook her head.
"We haven't got round to her yet. We are focusing on you. So come on then. I can only go on what my brother tells me from the few times he has visited you. Do you have friends there?"
"Define friends." He said. He knew people in Sydney, and a few people knew him. However "friends" was always a rather vague word. There were those you would have a conversation with at the bus stop, for it was better than sitting in silence, and then there were those you would go to the bus stop to talk to.
"Friends are people that you can go to when you need help, people that you can be honest with." Harry considered this for a moment; He had no friends, except perhaps Ron. Friends were a luxury he couldn't afford. Plus they had a bad habit of dying on him.
"One doesn't need friends to love life."
"True." Ginny said as they walked further along the footpath, there was a turning which headed off going towards a nearby village. They didn't go this way. Instead they walked along the more overgrown way which would lead into what they defined as the woods. "You don't need friends, but you do need love. A love of some sort. Some people love friends others love their family. Some people even love their pets, or themselves."
"Is a love of life not enough then?" Harry asked her in a bemused tone. She always seemed so wise, and yet he suspected she was making it up as he went along.
"No, no one has a love of life unless they love something in it. Do you love Hermione?" This question caused him to gasp inwardly. How dare she ask such a thing.
"Don't be ridiculous." He said. "I harbour no such feelings." However his answer seemed to satisfy Ginny.
"So you have no friends you love, and no love in your life. How do you manage Harry? How do you drag yourself out of bed every morning?" She said in a pitying tone, which aggravated him.
"What is this obsession with love, why do you need to love somebody? I love nobody and I am fine. I live the perfect life." He said coldly.
This conversation was not going where he had wanted it to go. He had expected it to be simpler, and he hadn't expected it to be so personal. He had thrown away his old life and taken a new one. Ginny however was trying to say what, that he didn't have one?
"Harry do you remember what you said to me when you left. After three months when I realised you weren't coming back, I wrote you a letter. I asked you how you could manage without love, and your reply was this." She said as she drew out a well worn piece of paper.
"I can live my life without Hermione, without my friends and without you. I can live my life without love."
I kept that, because is seemed so different from the Harry I once loved. As the years went on I thought, maybe Harry has found someone he loves after all, though Ronald said otherwise. Then I thought finally that you must be right after all, because you seem to manage. Today however I see differently. I see the truth. When you looked into my eyes this morning, as the broken shell of a person you once were, I know I was right all along."
Harry had no response to this comment. He didn't care to try and argue it. Ginny was stubborn in her beliefs, and despite the fact he himself didn't agree, he wasn't going to have an argument about it. They walked further. By this point along the trail the trees had reached there largest size. They were walking among enormous trees hundreds of years old, the path covered with roots as thick as his arm.
"It's my life…" Harry finally said as he tried to reason things.
"It doesn't have to be… You could come back…" She said softly before Harry shook his head.
"There is nothing more for me here than there is for me there. I have no reason to stay."
"You have no reason to go either. Won't you stop feeling sorry for yourself and be happy again? You could have had a life for the last four years, you could still have one, and yet you choose to stay so far away that you can't be touched by anyone. You are cheating yourself Harry, it doesn't need to be that way."
Harry walked on, watching as Ginny hopped over the roots of the trees. More than once he had stumbled as he didn't pay enough attention to where he was going. Ginny's dress swayed in the wind which flowed through the trees like a river along a stream.
"I'm afraid that's a possibility I can't accept." He responded. For sanities sake he dared not consider it.
"Ok Harry, you don't have to." Ginny said sympathetically. It was sad to see Harry like this, refusing to let anyone understand him. If perhaps she could make him understand himself he would realise that he had been a bit of an idiot. "You still haven't told me why you came back, but I guess you don't know. If you don't mind me saying I think it's because you still have feeling for Hermione."
"I thought I already answered that." Harry asked, though not in an angry manner, but in one that sounded more of resignation.
"Well yes but I don't think no is the answer. I think you do still love her, and the fact you can't have her is why you're so confused."
"…" Said Harry as he pondered for a moment. "I don't know what to think anymore. It was nice of you to try and help me understand things Ginny, but I just feel more confused than ever before. You are causing me to look at things that I would normally suppress…I didn't love Hermione when I was in Sydney, or at least if I did, I was in control of it… But seeing her again, god, I don't know what I think."
"You need time Harry." Ginny said simply. "In time the answer will come to you."
"Time is something not on my side. The wedding is in five days time." He said as the made there was on through the forest; soon they would be at the far side, in the field which would lead back to the Burrow. They had been walking for about an hour now. Ginny had a few cakes rolled up and two cartons of orange juice they would take when they reached the end of the forest, at the fallen down tree which made a convenient bench.
"Yes, the wedding." Ginny said with an understanding nod. "Please promise me something though Harry won't you?" She asked as she turned around to face him with an imploring look. "Don't say anything to Hermione unless you are sure of them. To still love her is ok. Tell her or leave her, its ok, but unless you're sure, then don't say anything, because it's not fair on her. Don't make her worry about more than she needs to. Promise won't you Harry?"
He gave a sigh…
"I promise."
They reached the fallen tree shortly later. It seemed Ginny didn't have any more to say on Harry situation, which pleased him fine. He liked half listening to her tell him about her own problems, or about how annoying her mother was. Harry found it quiet comfortable, since he seldom listened to anyone talk, and so wasn't practiced at answering. Thankfully Ginny only expected the occasional nod.
Once they had finished their cake they walked a short way out into the meadow, where they lay in the sun silently. Harry felt tempted to fall asleep in the quiet field, the wind playing gently across his face, carrying the smell of flowers and the pine forest with it. Ginny laid by his side, her eyes closed. It wasn't hot enough to get a suntan, but it was a comfortable temperature at the moment.
They made their way back slowly, talking about what they did in their free time. Again Ginny mostly talked, for her free time sounded more exciting.
"Do you think Hermione was in the wrong when we were together?" Harry suddenly asked, surprising her. "When I said she was to busy and she refused to agree, do you think I was right, that she was in the wrong."
"That's not for me to answer." Ginny responded. "It is only really up to you and her to decide. Some people only see each other a few times a year but they are Happy. It all depends on what sort of person you are."
Once they had made it back to the burrow Harry only stayed a little longer. He would have liked to stay and say hello to Mr Weasley but time was getting on. It was just past five and he was supposed to be getting dinner ready tonight. He considered getting a takeaway, for in the past so often had she missed a meal he had bothered cooking. However he felt that tonight would be different. She wouldn't dare be late would she?
He bid Molly and Ginny farewell as he apparated to a safe point a street away from Hermione's house. There was a small Tesco store nearby which he picked up some groceries from before heading back her house. He was going to cook some turkey escallops with new potatoes and some other vegetables. He didn't know whether her tastes had changed or not, but everyone loved turkey escallops. He let himself in at about twenty minutes past five, and began cooking the evening meal, whilst anxiously awaiting her return.
The clock just tolled out six o clock when he heard a key turn in the lock, Hermione was back from work, on time, just as he had expected.
"You here Harry?" She called out from the doorway as she slung her jacket up on the hook.
"What, you thought that the smell of delicious gourmet food was coming from no where did you? He asked sarcastically as he stuck his head out of the kitchen. "Don't worry it's not ready yet though. We still have about ten fifteen minutes."
Hermione walked into the kitchen and looked round. Harry had just been washing up whilst he waited for the vegetables to come to the boil and for whatever was in the over to cook. She suspected it was some form of turkey. Harry loved turkey. He was wearing some rubber gloves and her pink apron, which caused her to laugh a bit. She set her bag down on the counter, and set about helping with the last few things that needed doing.
"Need any help?" She asked him as she lifted one of the saucepan lids inspecting.
"Well if you like you can put the cutlery and place mats out. Other than that grab a seat and open your mouth because I will be done in a minute."
Not wanting to disobey Harry, she did as he said. She went into the dining room and had a look round. Her work papers had been put on the sideboard and so she put out the place mats and made sure everything was ready. She wondered briefly whether she should bother with candles, but in the end decided against it as she didn't want to give Harry the wrong idea. She did however select some soft music to play in the background.
A moment later Harry bought the food in before taking a seat at the table opposite Hermione. As she predicted it was turkey escallops.
"So how was your day?" He asked as he poured out a glass of wine for each of them.
"Pretty uneventful, she responded, as she pulled herself closer to the table. "There was a bit of a problem around lunch time, some Muggle got caught up, you know how it was, how was your day?" She asked. Harry told her all about his day, neglecting to mention the conversation he had had with Ginny. She didn't need to know about that.
Once they had finished the meal Harry poured out the remaining wine and bought in desert, which was nothing fancy, just Jam rolly polly. He wasn't trying to gt Hermione drunk, though he certainly encouraged her to drink her wine. Perhaps after she had drunk a bit she would be more relaxed, and maybe even be a bit more open. He couldn't help but get the impression she wasn't being entirely honest with him, though he didn't blame her, since he wasn't being entirely honest either.
For a start he wasn't going to say that he came back to try and stop her marrying. He supposed that was why he was back. After all it's what Ron and Ginny both thought.
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" Hermione asked as Harry filled up her glass for a fourth time. They were nearing the end of the second bottle already.
"Me? No never." He said in an unconvincing manner. "Did you have anything planned for after dinner?" He asked. "If not then I hired out a film we could watch. It's been out for a while but I saw it at the Cinema last year and I liked it. I don't know if you have seen it."
"I don't have time to go to the cinema." She replied with a laugh. "What film is it then? It had better not be one of those awful subtitle martial arts films where everyone goes flying through the air that Ron recommended."
"Those are a genuine art form." He protested, sticking up for film violence in the way any boy would. "If you could only accept the verisimilitude. Anyway no it's not one of those. It's dancing with wolves."
"Couldn't you have chosen something a little shorter? That film is like four hours long isn't it?"
"No, its three hours and forty five minutes."
"Well I suppose I can watch it with you but do you mind if I mark a few papers at the same time? It's just I wasn't expecting to take up the whole night.
"Yeah I guess you can, it is your house after all…"
Once they had finished desert and cleared away the things, which was only a few minutes later, Harry popped the dvd in and sat back on the chair.
"I have sweeties if you want some." He said as he waved a large bag at her. She rolled her eyes.
"I have to watch my figure Harry. I do want to fit into my wedding dress next week, unless that is your plan, to make me too fat that I wont fit into it, so I wont get married." Harry laughed at this, though he didn't say no. Hermione was onto him.
They sat on the chair together, Harry watching excitedly, whilst Hermione threw it the occasional glance, but mostly staring down at the papers in front of her, reading by the lamp light.
"You're missing the good bits." He protested as a man just shot himself.
"No I'm not, besides the good bits don't start until John meets up with stands with a fist.
Half an hour later Hermione had finished her papers and put them aside on the coffee table before drawing her legs up on the chair and concentrating on the film. Harry smiled as she did this. The film drew on as it grew dark outside, neither one of them speaking. Occasionally he would glance over to see her still watching, sometimes she would turn back and smile, causing Harry to quickly break his gaze. He didn't dare look to long into her eyes. He might just get lost in them again.
As the film drew near the end, and Dances with Wolves had just gone back to the soldiers fort he heart a soft rhythmic breathing. He looked across to see Hermione had now fallen asleep. He smiled softly as he watched her peacefully, her breath blowing against the tips of her hair which hung down, her chest rising and falling rhythmically. He decided against waking her anyway, she would probably wake up on her own accord in a few minutes, He didn't mind is she didn't wake, he enjoyed watching her sleep, even though he knew he shouldn't
As the film drew to a close Harry looked at Hermione once again. She was now resting against his shoulder, still fast asleep. He carefully tried to edge out from underneath her, moving as slowly as he could, trying to avoid awakening her. She stirred a little, causing Harry to hesitate. It was at this point a plan formed in his mind. He knew he shouldn't for it was wrong and selfish, but he managed to convince himself it was in her best interest.
He carefully drew out his wand. He had to be careful, for it was a spell he hadn't performed in many many years. He racked his brain, before finally muttering in a soft whisper the sleeping spell, which instantly took effect. Hermione's eyes tightened, as though she was about to wake up, but then they relaxed, until she was in a state of deep sleep. She would still wake up if anything loud were to happen, but it would make her that much more inclined to stay asleep.
He took her in his arms as he stood up from the chair. She felt so small in his arms, so light and delicate. It was charming, and reminded him of just how sweet and innocent she seemed. He walked out of the room, and to the stairs. It was cooler out in the corridor, by the front door, and It caused Harry to notice just how warm her body was. It was a good job he had a long sleeved shirt on, for he felt that if he were to Have Hermione's skin upon his, he may never be able to put her down.
He slowly walked up the stairs, and to her bedroom, he hadn't been in it before, but when she had shown him where the bathroom was she pointed to the door at the end of the corridor and told him that was her and Adams room. Harry tried not to think of her fiancé. He was probably a bastard. He kicked open the bedroom door as he tried to keep his balance. He swayed for a minute and feared he would drop Hermione, but thankfully he managed to regain his balance.
The room was tidy, which wasn't surprising. It was painted with a cream colour, and was exactly how he had expected her room to be. There was a king size bed in the middle of the room, with deep crimson bed sheets in the middle. He gently placed Hermione down and drew back the covers before turning his attention to her clothing. He would have to get her undressed. It was a tough job, but someone had to do it!
It was a good job he was so noble.