Good Enough - Come-clean and Resolutions - Chapter 5
Author's notes: Hello, everyone! Woohoo~ Now, I'm fast, aren't I? That's what happens when I don't have other things to worry me. Well, I do have things that worry me, but I'll deal with those later. I hope everyone likes this Chapter. Everyone has been so kind in their reviews… except from one or two who complained about the lack of updates. I want to thank Louise once again for beta-reading the chapter and the story. You don't have to worry about a thing, and I hope you are feeling much better! :)
There is one part where Hermione is thinking, I rephrased a fragment of "Stealing Kisses" by Faith Hill. Sometimes you need to get into the right mood for writing. There is also a comeback from Ron, I hope everyone likes it, since I thought there was much drama… a little light mood couldn't hurt anyone. The current mood song is "Hero" and "Void" by Darren Hayes. Enjoy.
Same thing applies~ any comments, reviews are welcomed. And all characters belong to J.K. Rowling, otherwise I'd be frigging rich. Any similarities with real life is purely coincidental. Any copyright © problem was not intended…
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Previously on Good Enough…
Hermione had an idea. She would pick her stuff from her now ex-place on Friday night, as Harry was probably still out with Andrea.
She was almost done with taking her stuff and shrinking it to fit it into her trunk, when all of a sudden Harry burst into the apartment with his brand-new shag.
He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her.
Why did it affect him so? Why was it different from Andrea leaving… or what's-her-name again? Because Hermione is different, and you bloody well know it, replied that other voice.
Tim was nowhere around when Hermione finished her shower, so she changed into something decent to go out and looked for Tim, wherever he may be.
"Hey, penny for your thoughts?" Asked a handsome guy of black bluish hair.
"Penny for my thoughts? I'd be rich by now." She said mildly amused.
"Well, you look much better now that you got rid of that frown." He said smiling. "The name is Ling, Rob Ling." He said looking at her warmly, and holding his hand out.
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Hermione couldn't believe it, she suddenly felt sick, and slowly backed away. Rob held her so she didn't lose her balance, but the alcohol had won. Hermione bent down just a little, as her Technicolor yawn spilled on the floor.
"Oh my God, Hermione! Are you okay?" Rob asked worried.
At the mention of Hermione's name, the couple stopped what they were doing and they looked at Hermione in shock. He stepped out of the shadow.
"Hermione…" He said softly. "I'm so sorry."
Hermione took another step back. Rob didn't know what to do or say.
"How could you? With Greg?" She said with a hurt tone.
It was Tim.
"Let me explain…" He said almost pleading. "You don't fully understand."
"I don't fully understand?" She said really mad. "What is it exactly I don't get?" She yelled trying her best to not lose her balance. "That you and Greg were humping buddies, and that probably every night you stayed at the hospital, you were shagging each other?" She added in the verge of tears. "God! How could I be so stupid?"
"I'm sorry, Hermione" He said giving a step closer to her. "I tried telling you so many times, but it never was the right time"
"And when is the right time to tell your girlfriend you're shagging a bloke?" She shouted.
Rob and Greg were still stood there, not doing much. They both looked as uncomfortably out of place as a Christmas decoration in the middle of July. Rob really felt bad for what happened to Hermione, and tried to butt in.
"Hey, guys…" He said nervously looking back and forth between Tim and Hermione. "I think you should talk this through in some other time, before anyone gets more hurt."
"Who is this guy? Are you cheating on me with him?"
"Oh my God, you have the courage to say that?" She said stunned.
"I'm sorry; my comment was out of place." He said apologizing. "Who are you anyway?" He asked Rob.
"I think he is right, Tim" Greg said. "I think we should talk this through in the morning, when everyone is calmer."
Hermione looked at them both and left with Rob in a huff. They got in his car, but he didn't ignite it. They were just sitting in a parked car.
"So where to?" He asked with real curiosity.
"Anywhere away from home." She said softly.
"Good, since I don't know where your home really is."
"Neither do I." She said lost in thought.
Rob sighed. He didn't know every little detail of Hermione's life, but finding out your boyfriend is gay the same week you find out your friend slept with you when you were drunk it's pretty bad.
"Hey, why don't you stay in my flat tonight? Tomorrow I'll take you wherever you like so you can talk to Tim about things…" He suggested.
"Oh, no! I don't want to be a bother…" She said undignified. "Just leave me in some motel, so I can spend the night there." She added.
"Really, it's not a problem." He added. "I don't think you should be alone with your thoughts… you'll go berserk."
Hermione agreed, and she had no idea how she could ever make it up to Rob. She spent the night at his place, and when she woke up she noticed he was still asleep. She tried to make breakfast, but found that Rob's refrigerator only had the essentials; cartons of orange juice, cans of soda and frozen TV dinners, but in one of the corners of the bachelor's refrigerator, she found some eggs.
"Good morning!" Hermione said, putting the freshly scramble eggs on a plate.
"Wow! I'm impressed." He added rubbing his eyes. "You're still here, and with a freshly made breakfast!" He said. "I can't even cook to save my life."
"Me either, so don't criticize the eggs…" She said playfully. "Besides, I wanted to do something for you for all the trouble of last night."
Hermione and Rob were eating breakfast, but there was something running through Rob's mind that he had to get out of. He wasn't sure how would Hermione react, after all, they only met a day ago.
"Hermione… if you don't mind my asking…" He said carefully, but kept quiet. He looked at her like he didn't want to ask the question anymore.
"You want to know something related to me finding out Tim is gay, don't you?" She said softly.
"Well, I know you only for a day, but you seem a very perceptive person, and all, you know." He said. "You must have noticed it at times, if not completely."
"I know…" She sighed. "Maybe somewhere in my mind I knew…" She added with a tone of sadness and regret. "But sometimes you want to believe something so bad that you blind yourself… it happens with so many different things."
"It seems you are much calmer now." He said smiling. "You want me to take you home?"
"Oh, no, Rob. It's okay, I can go by myself. I am being much of a bother for you, and I thank you so much for standing me." She said starting clearing up the table.
"It is my pleasure to have met you, Hermione. Are you sure?" He asked.
"Yes, yes… I am sure." She said smiling.
That morning, Hermione left to go back to Tim's place. Rob and she decided to keep in touch. She went home and met Tim. From the bags under his eyes she could tell he hadn't slept all night.
"Hermione!" He said, standing up from the couch where he was sitting. "I was so worried about you."
"I'm sorry I worried you." She said heartily. "I just needed to rearrange my thoughts, that's all"
"I am glad we are both much calmer, so we can talk."
"Yes…" She said softly. "We need to talk."
Both sat down on the couch and faced each other.
"I want to apologize to you, Hermione." He said first, holding her hands between his.
"It's okay. I'm not upset anymore." She said reassuringly.
"Really?" He added surprised.
"Yeah…" She said. "I just sort of realized that I might have known you were sort of, or very gay in the back of my mind." She added quickly, as tears threaten to come out. "Maybe I was just trying to believe that I was actually good enough for someone to love me."
"What? No, Hermione." He said shocked. "Don't say that. Don't ever say that." He said forcefully. "Don't ever think you are not good enough for anyone." He said holding her face close to his. "I would say you were too good for me that's why I couldn't manage to tell you." He said almost crying. "I couldn't tell you something like this and hurt you; I just didn't think I could hurt you in a worse way than I already did."
"But I thought everything was fine between us?" She said spilling tears. "Why not tell me upfront? I would've understood…"
Tim dried her tears, and then his.
"My father… he loves you very much, and keeps on bragging on how you're going to be part of the family." He said looking at her shamefully.
"I've only met him once." She said a bit surprised. "And it was pure coincidence that we met."
"Yeah, the thing is… he always thought something was up because I had never taken a girl home. I had female friends, but I was never interested in a sexual way to them…"
"Oh…"
"And when my father saw you, he was delighted that his son wasn't a pansy." He said looking down with bitterness in his cracking voice.
"So you thought we could try, and maybe it could work since we had a good time together…" She said softly, this time drying his tears.
"See, what a clever girl you are…" He said smiling slightly.
"Oh, the cleverness of me." She said giving him a little peck on the forehead. "Are you going to be okay telling your father?" She asked concerned.
"I don't know…" He sighed.
"Just remember, whatever happens… you can count on me, alright?" She said holding her pinkie finger out.
"Just as long you remember not to ever put yourself down like you always do."
Tim tried holding her finger to close the promise, but she moved her finger away.
"I can't ever promise that."
"Why not?" He asked.
Hermione sighed and kept quiet.
"Hermione, we both may be trying too hard to believe something that's in our heads." He said with a slight smile on his face.
She blushed a bit and looked at her with curiosity.
"You think too much about not being good enough, and you believe that. But have you ever thought that you deserve what you want?"
"What are you on about, Tim?" She asked arching her eyebrow in credibility.
"Harry…" He blurted out bluntly.
Hermione almost choked and blushed in deep red.
"What?" She stuttered. "That's just silly."
"Okay… remember? I'm gay. I can see it, even if he doesn't." He nudged her. "He has to be the most oblivious person I've ever seen… emotional range of a teaspoon, I tell you!"
Hermione snorted.
"Oh my God! What was that?" He laughed. "Did Hermione Granger just snort?"
"It's just funny you should say Harry is like that, because Ron can give him a run for his money." She laughed. "It didn't use to be like that… Harry used to be just Harry, and Ron… well, Ron will always be Ron."
"What happened then?" He asked her with concern.
"Well, Harry sort of changed…" After vanquishing Voldemort, that son of a bitch… what did you do to him? She said mentally. "He sort of changed all of a sudden, but I was always by his side… because that's what friends do…"
"But you feel more than friendship for him, don't you?" He added softly.
"I don't know what I feel anymore…" She said absent-mindedly.
"I think you do…" He said caressing her thigh.
Tim stood up, and turned to look at Hermione sitting on the couch.
"And I think I know what's on your mind…" He said smiling nostalgically. "And whatever you choose to do, you should know you are very much welcome to stay here."
"How did you know I was going to tell you I was moving back to my parents?" She asked stunned.
"Oh, the cleverness of me…" He said winking.
"Sometimes you scare me." She said playfully.
"And sometimes you scare me more, my little witch." He said teasingly.
Hermione almost choked, and blushed brightly.
The next day, Hermione had her stuff ready and went back to her parent's where they were expecting her. They hugged her and told her how much she meant to them. It was sort of the support Hermione needed, but in the back of her mind she knew her thoughts revolved around a certain boy. I was stealing kisses from a boy, now I'm begging for affection from a man. Who was she? She felt these few hours were like days, and these few days felt like years…
Hermione spent her days at her parents very depressed, locked up in her room, and the occasional visit from Tim. Hermione's mother was a bit worried, and asked him if he could help… and he had a slight idea.
Somewhere in town, Harry hadn't slept in days, he hadn't gone out at all, when Ron got all worried and knocked on his door. He opened, unshaven and messy.
"Bloody hell, mate! You look like a hag." Ron said in shock. "Haven't been sleeping lately?"
"Hermione left me." Harry said bluntly.
Ron was in utter shock, he didn't know they were together, but he should've figured it out. All the time spent together, going to Merlin-knows-where without him, always siding with Harry or Hermione…
"What do you mean she left you? That's not like her." Ron said.
"She left the apartment a few days ago…"
"What? How come?? Why didn't anyone tell me about this??" He said astonished, with a slight tone of hurt in his voice.
And Harry told him the story of what had happened, completely… from beginning to end.
"Wow, mate! How could you do that to her? Merlin, what are you, thick in the head? And that's saying something coming from me."
"Appreciate your honesty, Ron…" Harry added bitterly amused.
They sat in the living room for a while, and stayed quiet. Harry sighed.
"I can't sleep, I can't eat it… I'm all messed up and I don't know why?" He said exasperated.
"Geez, for Merlin's sake, Harry! It seems you're lacking grey matter on your brain or something!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Look, I am thick in the head, but you are giving me a run for my galleons, mate." He said tapping him on the shoulder. "Even I have been noticing this for years now!"
"Ron!" He asked frustrated. "What are you talking about? Notice what??"
"That you need Hermione badly…" He said thinking he was stating the obvious.
"Of course I need her! She's one of my best friends!"
Ron's jaw dropped. How could his friend be thicker than him? He used to be better than him. Ron told him that he should try to rest and clear his mind. After talking to Ron, Harry felt a little bit better, so he decided to go to bed where he drifted away.
"Who are you trying to fool, Harry Potter?" Said a hissing voice.
Harry was in a dark damp hall, his steps echoed each time he gave a step forward. He stopped when he stood in front of Lord Voldemort.
"You think you can live alright if you destroy me?" He said in a cold voice. "You will never be able to." He said, spitting blood from his mouth. He was hurt.
"There are people that love me that will help me through." Harry yelled.
"You think they will bother with you? You'd be a burden… nothing more than a thing to hold them back." He spitted more blood, as he knelt on the floor. "Our resemblance is incredible, Harry Potter. I became a burden so young in my life, and I finally understood I had to take matters in my own hands… once you-"
"NO! I will never be like you!" Harry shouted.
"Sometimes you can try too hard to believe something that you think it's true…"
Voldemort used this moment of emotional weakness in Harry to use his Legilimens powers and read his mind. He had a wicked smile.
"That mudblood witch of yours-", he said coolly.
"Don't call her that!"
"She will leave you." He continued. "You think you… love-" Voldemort shivered. "-her, you try to believe it so hard." He said with cold eyes and standing up once again.
"She loves me, she cares for me! Something you will never understand!" Harry shouted back.
"You don't think she will leave you once she learns what you've done?" He said fully standing, and walking towards Harry. "You think you love, but you know deep inside…"
Voldemort caught Harry by the neck. Harry couldn't breathe, the grip on his neck was…
Harry woke up. His chest heaving, his body dripping in sweat… After a few seconds Harry was breathing soundly. I care for my friends, I love my friends and they love me.
Harry closed his eyes.
There's no such thing as magic, boy.
He turned around, looking over his shoulder.
Finally you go. You were nothing but a burden.
Harry started shivering. I don't want to take matters into my own hands… - Look where you are now! You're life is out of control, Harry.
For the first time in years, he heard the voice in his head, a voice that very much sounded like Hermione, the voice that was always right and got him out of trouble. Harry spent the rest of the night listening to this voice and fell asleep.
Ding dong!
Knock, knock~
Harry opened his eyes. It was daytime already. He got up to open the door. Still rubbing his eyes and walking, he was greeted by someone unusual in his doorstep.
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Next on Good Enough…
"Come to hit me?" Harry asked a bit scared.
"The mind is a powerful thing, Harry."
"Make it believe that one plus one is three, and it will believe you."
"Did you figure it out, Harry?" Harry didn't answer. "Did you? Or do you need a kick in the head?"
"I did, okay!" Harry said infuriated.
"So what's your explanation then?"
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