Chapter Five
Difficult Realizations
So there she was, arms crossed infront of her and mumbling to herself as Harry and her trailed behind the happy couple. This night was suppose to be about the three of them, the trio hanging out like they use to. She knew she had to get over the fact that things weren't going to be like they use to be and she was starting to notice that since she came back.
" You ok?" Harry asked. He gave her a concerned look before shoving his hands in his pockets and staring down
at the stone pathway.
" I guess...it's just that it was suppose to be us three together tonight not us four" she replied, stressing the word four as she nodded her head to Luna who was several feet infront of them.
" Is that what's really troubling you?"
" What do you mean?" she replied.
Harry's face was apprehensive as if he was trying to think of a way to say what he wanted to get out in the nicest way possible. " Well, correct me if I am wrong but it looks like you still have feelings for him."
Hermione bit her lip, something she always did when she grew nervous. Infact, she was biting it so hard she thought it was going to start bleeding.
" Me still have feeling for him?" she replied, forcing a laugh, " That is perposterus! I haven't had feeling for him in a long time Harry" she lied. She knew Harry wouldn't believe her, he was too smart. He could always tell when she was lying, she was never any good at it. He seemed to look at her for a few seconds before turning his attention to Ron and Luna once again.
" You should be happy for him. He seems to be truly happy and he deserves it..." he replied casually.
" What about you Harry? Are you happy?" she found herself asking. She didn't know why she suddenhly asked this. Maybe it was because if anyone desvered to be happy in life it was him and she hoped he had finally found some of that happiness. He looked like he was about to say something when Ron came up to them.
" Was I interupting something?" he asked, glancing back and forth.
" No mate" Harry smiled. " We were just talking about how happy we are for you."
Ron's smile grew from ear to ear as he looked at his two friends. " Thanks guys, that means alot."
" So where are we heading now?" Hermione piped up. " Where'd Luna go?"
" She went home, she wasn't feeling that well. She told me to tell you guys bye for her though."
A surge of guilt ran through Hermione as she couldn't help but be happy that Luna went home sick. That guilt though dissappeared however when she looked at Ron and Harry and realized she was finally going to be alone with just the two of them.
" Is she alright?" Harry asked with concern.
" Yea, she hasn't been feeling herself lately. She just needs to rest you know?"
" Right, so what do you guys want to do?" Hermione grinned.
Ron looked deep in thought for a few moments until he smiled at them. " What do you say we all head over the Three Broomsticks and grab some butterbeers like old times!"
" Sounds good to me. What about you Harry?" Hermione questioned, staring up at him. He didn't look at her, instead his eyes were transfixed on something behind her. Turning around she saw what appeared to be a ministry owl swoop down on Harry's shoulder, a piece of parchment attached to it's small leg. She knew then that it must concern Harry's work.
Taking the letter off the owl's leg he gentally patted it on the head before it swooped away in the same direction as it had come. As he began to read the letter Hermione noticed that his face grew more and more conerned.
" Is everything ok, Harry?" she asked.
He sighed as he folded the piece of parchment and shoved it in his pocket.
" Im sorry, but I have to-"
" Go to work..." Hermione finished for him, dissapointment filling her. Ron must have felt the same thing since his shoulders slumped and his smile slowly faded.
" I'm sorry Ron. I know this was suppose to be the one time the three of us got to hang out before your big day but I can't ignore this owl,"
Ron shrugged and slapped Harry playfully on the shoulder. " It's ok mate, I understand. I'll see you tomorrow."
" Bye 'Mione" Harry smiled.
" Be careful Harry" she replied as he disapparated. No matter how old they got she couldn't help but worry about him. When thery were at Hogwarts she would be terrified when another quidditch match rolled around. She'd have nightmares of finding her best friend lying lifeless on the quidditch pitch. She still remembered how her heart stopped in third year when she watched as he fell off his broom. And now nine years later she still worried sick about him.
" Well, I guess it's just you and me" Ron said.
" Yea-uh-do you want to still head over to the Three Broomsticks?" she replied, awkwardly.
Ron nodded and the two slowly made their way towards the Three Broomsticks. It wasn't that far from where they were standing but to Hermione it felt like miles. The silence between the two was becoming more awkward and unbearable as they went. Sure, they made polite small talk but nothing like it use to be. At that moment she wished Harry was still there. His presence made the awkwardness between Ron and herself go away and now that he left it returned with full force.
***
" I was not that bad!" Hermione giggled, as madam Rosemerta set a third Butterbeet down infront of her. Ron, however, was already on his fourth.
" Right...miss ' it's not levioSA its LeviOsa" Ron mimicked. Shaking her head Hermione took another sip of her drink. Despite what she was feeling before she was in truth having a good time with Ron. The last few hours felt like old times. They laughed and joked over Hogwarts memories while they sat in their old booth and drank butterbeer.
" Looks likes it beginning to storm..." Ron stated, staring out the window as large raindrops rolled down the window before him.
" Ron, this has been really fun tonight"
Ron set down his drink and sent her a smile that made her heart stop. " It has been fun...you know, sitting here with you and reliving past memories. It's made me see how much I've missed you."
There was a few minutes of silence between the two where all Hermione could do was keep her eyes set on his. " Ive missed you too..." she whispered softly. At that moment her heart began to argue with her brain. Ignoring her brains warnings for her to stop, she slowly leaned forward towards him. Just when her lips were about to touch his he shoved her away causing her to stumble backwards.
Ron's face went from smiling and bright to angry in a matter of seconds. " What was that!?" he shouted, rubbing his hand through his hair.
" I-I just thought..."
" Thought what, Hermione? Thought that I would actually kiss you three days before my wedding?" His voice was rising at this point and Hermione noticed several conversations that were going on around them slowly began to stop. Feeling many eyes on her, she began to bite her lip again at a total loss for words. " If you think I am going to ruin what I have with Luna for you then you are mad" he growled.
Water began to fill up in Hermione's brown eyes as she looked at Ron's angry face. What had she done? Swallowing a large lump in her throat she quickly grabbed her bag and jumped from the table, embarasment taking over. She had to get out of here, the last thing she wanted was for him to see her cry.
" I need to go.." she mumbled, running for the door. She could hear Ron's footsteps following behind her as she exited out into rain.
" I'm not done talking, Hermione!" Ron shouted.
The rain was coming down so hard at this point that all of her hair was completely drenched and began to cling to the side of her fair face. Her breathing became fast as she turned around to face him. He looked just as bad as she did.
" What do you want me to say Ron?" she shouted.
" What do I want you to say? I want to know why you almost kissed me in there! I want to know why now, Hermione. You come flying back here days before my big day and almost kiss me! Perfect timing Hermione, really great!" he shouted back sarcastically giving her a thumbs up sign.
" You have no idea how hard this has been for me too, Ron!"
Ron threw his hands up in the air and took a few steps closer. " Hard for you? You are the one who left me remember. I am sure you've had it so hard, Hermnione. You have no idea how hard it has been for me...how long it took me to get over you. And now that I am finally happy, here you are trying to rip all that away from me."
" I am not trying to rip your happiness away Ron! I....I still love you..." she mumbled, tears now running down her cheeks.
Ron stood completely still and his face lost a bit of colour as Hermione said this. He seemed at a loss for words.
" I...." his jaw moved up and down for a few minutes but no words came out. " I...no! you cannot do this to me Hermione!" he replied with a half frustrated and half angry tone.
" Do what Ron?! I am being truthful!" she cried.
" No! You can't be truthful three days before I get married Hermione! It's too late! You're too late." He shot back." If this would have been a few years ago....I would have been so happy to hear you say that" Ron began, his voice lowering, " But now, now I am in love with Luna....we are getting married! What we had between us is over...I am not in love with you anymore Hermione."
Hermione's heart felt like it cracked in two at the moment. Tears still flowed from her eyes and she found herself just staring at him. He gave her one last glance before turning around and heading back inside, leaving her standing alone on an empty street in the pouring rain.
* * *
She didn't know where to go so she went to the only place and person she could think of. No one was home at the moment so she took a seat on the swing that hung from the porch.
She didn't know how long she sat there for, only thing that ran through her mind was the things Ron had said to her...
" You're too late..."
" I am not in love with you anymore Hermione..."
Her head barried in her knees she heard the soft sounds of footsteps coming up the stairs of the porch and stop.
" Hermione? What are you doing here?" Harry asked, walking over and taking a seat beside her on the wooden swing. He put a comforting arm around her as he noticed several tears fall from her brown eyes. " What happened?"
A few sobs escaped from her mouth as she barried her face into his shoulder. " Can you just sit here with me for awhile Harry?"
" Sure I will, 'Mione..." he replied, rubbing his hand up and down her back. "Shhh, don't cry..."he soothed. He didn't know what happened to make Hermione this upset but he knew he had to comfort her until she was ready to talk, and when she was ready he would be there to listen.