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My Order of the Phoenix by psyche752
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My Order of the Phoenix

psyche752

Disclaimer: Still none of it is mine…alas

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The room was filled from floor to ceiling with books. Old books, new books, books that looked like heavy magazines and books that were ripped to pieces. The scent of dust and mustiness filled the air and rested heavily on the cloudiness that swam before his eyes. Picking up the closest volume, he flipped idly through its pages and then hurled it violently across the room at a small man cowering in one corner. The rage was choking, a surge of red passion swimming around inside his head, and an almighty scream began somewhere in the depths of his chest.

"THEY MUST NEVER FIND OUT!"

Harry awoke with a start. His sweaty sheets were tangled around his legs like restraints and his hands were clenched into such fierce fists that they had turned white. He blinked once, twice and shook his head slightly. Forcing himself to breathe evenly, he battled down the wanton rage that he felt surging through his very veins. It was only as the oxygen reached his lungs and he found the strength to release his own inhuman grip that he realized three things. One, he was in bed in his dormitory and not in that weird library. Two, his scar hurt a lot. Three, everyone was staring at him.

Clasping his palm to his head, Harry rubbed his scar vigorously in an attempt to dispel the pain.

"Harry" said Ron quietly "Are you OK?"

"What happened?" asked Harry thickly. His tongue felt like it was stuck to his mouth. He felt weak and shaky since the tremors of so much anger had passed through him.

Neville offered him a glass of water. Harry took it with a quick word of thanks and sipped at the liquid. It slid soothingly down his throat making him feel almost normal again. Until he looked at Ron. Ron was as white as a sheet; a gaunt offset to his red hair.

"Bloody hell Harry" he wheezed. "You scared us all witless."

"What..?" said Harry, bewildered.

"We just woke up to you screaming 'They must never find out!'. Who can't find out what Harry?" asked Neville curiously.

"I…I don't know."

"It's alright mate" soothed Ron. "It's about time for breakfast anyway. Come on, you know what day it is…up and at 'em!"

"What day it is?" repeated Harry groggily.

Ron raised his eyes to the ceiling. "It's Hermione's birthday idiot".

**

Slinking into the hall behind Ron and the others, Harry was suffering the worst headache of his life. Squeals of excitement coming from the general direction they were headed did little to dispel this agony. He resigned himself to having to think about his dream later.

Ron slid into the seat next to Hermione and helped himself to a piece of her toast.

"Happy Birthday" he grinned toothily.

"Thanks" she said happily, removing the toast from his grasp and taking a decisive bite.

Harry walked past Hermione to take a seat on her other side. He caught a sweet smell that slid between the inflamed sections of his brain to bring a little comfort. Sitting down he relished the fragrance further.

"Harry?" asked Hermione, bemused.

"What? Oh, sorry. Happy Birthday Hermione!"

Looking up into her laughing eyes he did a double take.

"Wow, Hermione. You look fantastic."

She preened a little. "Thanks. I felt like doing something a little special today."

Special was right. She had smoothed down her wayward locks which fell in a silken curtain down her back and as Harry leaned closer he realized the delicate scent was her perfume.

"Of course" Hermione said "its nothing I would do every day. Far too much hassle" she said tellingly. "My parents sent me this perfume for my birthday and the bottle leaked all over me and the owl!"

"You look wonderful" Harry said softly. Looking up into Ron's purpling face he backed off quickly. Woops, he thought.

"You do look lovely" stuttered Ron making a vain attempt to match the sincere intensity of Harry's compliment.

"Thanks…" said Hermione somewhat confused.

Harry caught the looks of jealousy Ron was sending him and almost sighed aloud. Couldn't his best friend show a little consideration. He'd just woken from another evil dream with all manner of foreign emotional toxins playing havoc with his system. He was in a 'think it say it' frame of mind and he wasn't going to apologize for it. Desperate to change the subject he turned his attention back to Hermione.

"So, what presents have you received?" he asked brightly.

"I've had so many wonderful things. The Gryffindor girls gave me a fantastic set of wizarding encyclopaedias, my grandparents gave me a beautiful broach and my parents…well" she said shrugging wryly "my parents sent me this perfume which you will probably smell on me until the day I die".

Harry smirked and Ron snorted aloud.

"No perfume is enough to hide that Mudblood stink" sneered Malfoy nastily as he passed, apparently having got out of the wrong side of bed that morning.

Harry had just started with what he felt was a good come-back ("The only stink over here is you Malfoy") when he noticed that the face he was insulting wasn't where it was supposed to be. In fact Malfoy was on the floor and in his place was a raging yet somewhat smug ginger wizard.

"Oh Ron" muttered Hermione despairingly.

Ron's face fell at her tone. Any sense of smug pride he had felt at out-doing Harry in the friendship stakes immediately fell away. He wilted somewhat, deflated now that his macho display had gone un-praised.

There was the distinct clearing of an adult throat behind him. Professor McGonagall stood glaring down at them all. "Mr Weasley. Mr Malfoy. You will come with me immediately. 50 points from Gryffindor for this horrific display."

"But Prof-"

"I'm not interested Mr Weasly. Come with me NOW."

Hermione buried her head in her hands. Harry shot Ron a sympathetic look. He understood of course. He'd been wanting to knock Malfoy down since the first year but really, the Great Hall was probably the worst place to try.

**

Harry and Hermione finished a rather subdued breakfast. The mood had been lifted slightly by Professor Dumbledore who had led the school in a morning chorus of "Happy Birthday". The incident was turned from potentially embarrassing to somewhat hysterical, because Dumbledore seemed to feel that the rules of the school-song applied to any tune. He had warbled through a rendition of the song to the tune of the British national anthem. It was an…interesting experience.

Hermione was raging by the time they got back to the Common Room.

"What an idiot!"

"He was only defending you." Harry said, trying to placate her.

"I don't need defending" she seethed. "Draco's an idiot. You have to ignore bullies"

"Oh right" said Harry "except when you're slapping them."

Hermione allowed herself a small smile. "Well that was different. He insulted Hagrid. It was a time of substantial stress…oh alright already" she conceded. "I guess he was doing what he thought was best."

Harry sighed with relief.

"So" he said "What do you want to do on your birthday?"

"Well I have to go to the library for a couple of hours" she pondered.

"Hermione You Are Not Going To The Library On Your Birthday"

"But I have homework…"

"Hermione! Half the classes this term have been cancelled because the staff is off planning some Anti-Voldemort stuff, most of the pupils have been kept at home…I don't think they'll miss you in the library just this once!"

"Well…"

Just then Neville entered through the portrait hole. "Hey Hermione, Happy Birthday again" he called. "Harry are you feeling better?"

Harry winced. He knew what was coming.

"Feeling better?" repeated Hermione. "What happened?"

"Well…" he stalled, wanting neither to relive the experience nor mar Hermione's birthday.

"Harry had the mother of all nightmares" said Neville. "Scared the lot of us."

Hermione gave Harry that look that made him want to curl up and hide. She knew, as Neville did not, that Harry had dreams about Voldemort.

She surreptitiously touched her forehead in a question and Harry nodded uneasily. She bowed her head for a moment.

"Right" she said "I've decided. I want us to go for a walk around the grounds for my birthday. Just you and me" she added meaningfully.

Harry groaned. This meant Hermione was going to pry every single detail out of him and then spend the next week researching.

Neville, standing in the corner, read a different meaning into her statement entirely. Within ten minutes of Harry and Hermione's departure, the rumour that they were a couple had spread throughout Gryffindor and was indeed making inroads into Ravenclaw!

**

"..and that's all I remember." Concluded Harry. Describing his dream had reminded him of just how vivid an experience it had been.

"Oh Harry" whispered Hermione, chewing nervously on her bottom lip.

"I'm going to tell Professor Dumbledore of course" said Harry, trying to continue as though unconcerned "the Order specifically asked for my input…"

"Harry…"

"…I mean it's probably nothing, I mean it was probably just a nightmare…"

"Harry…"

"…it doesn't mean anything is going to happen…"

"Harry. Enough. Are you alright?"

"No" he whispered. "I have too many things in my head that I can't think about, things I just can't think about. The effort it takes to not think about this stuff is giving me headaches day and night. I'm so tense I feel sick. I know something's going to happen. I can feel it inside. I know something's coming and I know it's coming because of me."

Hermione rested one hand lightly on his shoulder and drew him down to sit beside her on a low wall running beside the lake.

"I can't imagine how difficult all this is for you" she began "but this is not you fault. You need to remember that Harry."

"I appreciate the effort Hermione but it was my blood that revived him. I don't mean to be arrogant but I was fairly integral in that sense."

"That doesn't make it your fault" she insisted stubbornly.

Harry let out a choked laugh. "You wouldn't admit you were wrong anyway!"

Hermione blushed. "I might…no, you're right but it really isn't your fault."

Harry chuckled and felt a great relief slide over him. As soon as he became aware of the freedom it was gone.

"It's there all the time Hermione. Doors in my head marked 'do not enter'; The Triwizard tournament, Cedric, my meeting with the Order of the Phoenix, these dreams…"

"I know" she said soothingly, rubbing her hand against his arm. "If you want my advice then I think being pro-active is the key…"

"This is going to involve research isn't it" muttered Harry as she continued.

"…now if we spent a couple of hours in the library maybe we could help the Order of the Phoenix work out what Voldemort was up to. Didn't you say that they were getting somewhere?"

"Actually" said Harry, a slight spark returning to his eyes "that's right."

"Well then" she said, trying not to look smug.

"Well then, we're off to the library" said Harry, grinning. She was right. The helplessness had been festering inside him and even the hope of doing something helpful had cleared his system like a fresh breeze.

Taking her hand he pulled her up from the wall and into a hug.

"You're amazing" he cheered.

It was at this point that Ron came upon them…

**

A/N <evil cackle>

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