I'll Be Seeing You
Rating: G
Angst/Romance
Disclaimer: I am borrowing JKR's awesome characters, I am not worthy, I have no rights, and to sue me would be a colossal waste since I have nothing, okay? Good. :)
Author's Note: I know, I just posted a story a couple days ago, this is unbelievable. Okay, well, here is my long awaited angst/drama/cry-your-heart-out (maybe) fic. I really don't have any side comments for this one, just that I'm a little afraid of the response to this since it is my first attempt at something that is not pure fluff. Also, you will notice the status is "in progress" because there are two chapters. While this is no big deal for some, it's a first for me, so go with it. Anyway, that's pretty much it, please read and review!
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"I'll be back when I'm back. Bye Harry." With that Hermione slammed the door and began walking down the long road, fuming. Immediately Hermione began reliving the things that had just happened.
***
Hermione stood in the kitchen, cooking dinner when Harry stormed in and headed straight to their room, slamming the door behind him.
Normally, Hermione would have set everything down and immediately gone to see what was wrong with her husband, but not today. She had had a terrible day at work. First her boss had lost her two reports and threatened to take the damage out of her check. Then at lunch some new intern from America had started a food fight, ruining her favorite blouse. Finally, to finish off the day, the new puppy she and Harry had just adopted together had scratched up the nice dining table her mother and father had given them for their wedding and it would take hours to repair.
No, Hermione was not in a good mood, and she really didn't feel like listening to whatever problem Harry had been having so she simply continued cooking the dinner. Just as she had finished setting the table, Harry came out of their room, looking angry and sad.
"You didn't come after me?" He asked softly, clearly hurt.
"No." Hermione replied curtly. Spooning servings onto the plates and not looking up once. "I didn't."
Harry seemed shocked to hear this. "Why not?"
Hermione, not able to hold it in any longer, lashed out at him, slamming the dish she was holding onto the table. "Because, Harry, has it occurred to you that you might not be the only one having problems?"
Harry still seemed confused. "But you promised you'd never give up on me."
Not thinking, Hermione asked, "When?" He looked very hurt at this, but Hermione didn't care, "Never mind. The point is I didn't give up on you, Harry. I simply had my own problems to deal with."
"And that's more important?" He pressed.
"Are you kidding me?!" Hermione could not believe she was hearing this. "Are you that self-centered that you think I should just throw aside my problems for you?"
"If you really loved me you would." Harry replied.
"Oh, don't even give me that! You know full well that I love you, Harry Potter. If you are too blinded by your own self pity to see that then I can't even stand to be in the same room as you!" She grabbed her coat.
"I'll be back when I'm back. Bye Harry."
***
Hermione let out an angered sigh as she continued to walk. She understood how he was thinking. It had been this way ever since they began dating in sixth year. Any time something remotely bad would happen he would shut her out, along with everyone else. He knew it, too. He expected them to fight to get to him, to show him they loved him no matter what. He may have never thought about it consciously, but he knew it.
Hermione knew this. She would always fight for him. She would fight because she loved him. She would fight because he needed her to. She remembered in seventh year how she had actually spent three hours banging on his door after he defeated Voldemort.
***
BANG BANG! "Harry! Let me in!" BANG BANG! "Harry I'll stand out here all night if I have too!" It was true. It didn't matter if her fists were in terrible pain. It didn't matter if her throat was soar from yelling. None of it mattered, because she knew he needed this. He needed to know she was there. A moment of silence could be the end of it, and she would lose him to his own sorrow. BANG! "Harry! Come on now!" BANG BA-
"Hermione?" Hermione took her hand down to see Ron standing behind her, apparently hesitant to approach her.
"What?" She asked a little too loudly, causing Ron to jump a bit.
"Well, maybe Harry just needs a little time to think. I mean, he can't very well do that with you banging on the door."
Hermione deflated slightly. Perhaps Ron was right. Harry may need her, but not like this. She allowed Ron to lead her to the common room, where Harry could come find her when the time was right. After a little bit of restless tossing and turning, Hermione finally allowed herself to fall asleep.
She awoke in the middle of the night to hear the sound of Harry's gently sniffling. She was up immediately and by his side at the window. She sat down and patiently waited for him to speak.
"I didn't want to wake you," Harry whispered, his eyes downcast.
"Oh Harry…"
Harry lifted his gaze and looked into Hermione's eyes. She saw the fear immediately and felt her heart break for him as he spoke. "I thought you gave up on me." His voice cracked and Hermione took him in her arms. He had been through hell, literally, for the past few weeks. How could she have let Ron convince her to leave? She knew her Harry.
"I will never give up on you Harry, okay? Never."
"You promise?"
Hermione nodded.
***
Hermione stopped walking immediately. She had almost forgotten. She had promised him.
Suddenly, Hermione understood. Why hadn't she seen it before? She had to get home and apologize to Harry. Without thinking, she turned around and stepped out into the busy street.
***
Harry watched as his wife slammed the door behind her. What was she so mad about? He understood that she had had a bad day, but did that mean that she couldn't at least show that she cared?
And how could she have forgotten the promise?
It had been one of the things that kept him going all of these years, whenever he questioned what he was doing, or why he was even alive. He knew that, no matter what, she would always be there for him.
No matter what.
How could he be so selfish?
Here he was, mad at his wife for putting herself first in their relationship for the first time ever, something that he was guilty of since the day they met. Harry felt the shame wash over him as he stood there, feeling sorry for himself for no reason at all. He hadn't even been that upset, and had simply had a bad day at work. At the time he had felt like he needed Hermione's sympathy, but now only one thought was running through his mind.
He needed to apologize.
Not exactly sure where he was headed, Harry headed to his room and grabbed his coat, hoping that she wasn't too furious with him. He walked through the hall to the doorway and swung open the door, nearly walking into a mediwitch.
"Harry Potter?" She asked. Harry, thinking that the scar on his forehead should be a dead give away, nodded anyway. "It's about your wife. There's been an accident."
Harry felt the world come crashing down. An accident? What kind of accident? He tried to read the mediwitch's blank expression. "What do you mean, accident?"
She forced her practiced blank expression to stay put. "If you could come with me, Sir, you will find out more at St. Mungo's. That is all I can tell you."
"But…" Harry begged.
"Please come with me, Sir. That is all I can say." Harry could tell that this was not easy for the young woman, so he followed her to the apparition point, where they apparated straight into the emergency area. Harry was immediately greeted by a mediwizard.
"Can you tell me what happened?" Harry begged. How was this happening? They had just had an argument, that's all. Was she that upset that she would do something stupid?
No. Harry reasoned with himself. Hermione was a brilliant witch. No matter how upset she was she was always rational, and could be trusted to keep her head on straight.
The mediwizard watched as the Harry Potter stood before him, pleading to know about his wife. It was clear that he loved her more than anything, and the man was pained to give him the news. "Sir, your wife was run over by a car."
"What?" Harry couldn't feel his legs.
"We believe she was in a hurry, and therefore didn't look before crossing the street. The driver of the car that ran over her stopped as soon as she could, but it happened too suddenly."
Harry looked up at him, taking a deep breath. When did the room start spinning? Harry took a deep breath. "So, is she being healed right now? Will she need to stay a few nights?"
The mediwizard struggled with himself before speaking. "Mr. Potter your wife will not make it through the night."
Harry felt it as he helplessly collapsed into the arms of some people nearby. He was guided to a chair by the mediwitch who brought him. After gasping for air for a few moments he spoke. "Wh-what do you mean? You can heal her can't you?"
The mediwizard shook his head sadly. "But, she's a witch." Harry persisted, "Why can't you heal her?"
"Under normal circumstances, we would be able to, but the total impact on her body was far too great, and there is no possible way to heal everything. We did as much as we could."
Harry felt his hands grow cold. "So, that's it? That's all you can do? She's gone?"
The mediwizard shook his head again, but Harry dared not hope for false good news. "Not yet, Mr. Potter. They are stabilizing her. When she's stabilized, they'll come get you. You can then go talk to her. You'll have some time. Not a lot, but some."
"Will she…" Harry wanted to pinch himself and wake up from this dream, "Will she be conscious?"
"Yes, she will be fully conscious up until…up until it's time."
"When will it be time?" Harry asked desperately. When will it be time for the love of my life to die? The mere thought sickened him as it passed through his mind and Harry felt the urge to empty the contents of his stomach onto the floor.
The mediwizard looked at Harry with honest eyes. "She will know. They always do." He looked at something over his shoulder and nodded. "She's ready. You can see her now."
Harry turned around and followed the student witch to Hermione's room. Before going in, he turned to her. "Do you have any idea how much time she has left?"
The witch seemed truly sorry for Harry and frowned sympathetically. "No more than an hour, maybe not even that."
Harry, gathering his resolve, nodded and entered the room. He looked at his beautiful wife, lying under the crumpled hospital sheets. Outside of the bruising on the side of her face and neck and along her arms, she looked the same as always, though smaller, and uncharacteristically weak. Even in this state, she was a vision if elegance. She turned smiled upon seeing him. "Sit down," she spoke softly.
When Harry sat down he found it difficult to look into her eyes, and chose to look at the flowers in the vase next to her bed. Red roses with one white on in the middle, just like he had given her on his first date. Harry assumed the mediwitches had done this for her.
Hermione had asked that Harry tell her the news about how she was doing, but as she studied her husband's features she knew in an instant what was happening. Not wanting to admit it, she took a moment to work up the courage to say the words out loud, "I'm going to die, aren't I?" She asked.
Harry turned to her, his eyes blood shot with tears threatening to spill over, and nodded. Hermione nodded back, her throat dry. "How much time?"
"An hour, at most." Harry choked on his words. "The…the doctor says you'll know."
Hermione felt her own tears spill from her eyes, despite her best efforts. "I'm so sorry. I never should have stormed out of there. I had no reason to be mad at you, and then to forget my promise…"
"No, it was my fault." Harry interrupted. "How selfish could I be? Expecting you to throw aside everything simply to comfort me? I was just leaving to apologize when they brought me here."
"I was coming to apologize when it happened. I was hurrying back and just stepped right out into the middle of the road. I'm so stupid, and now look where it's brought us." Hermione looked at Harry with shame in her eyes as he wiped away her tears.
"Hey," He said, in as a demanding tone as he could, which was still weak and sad, "You are not stupid, and I never want you to say that. Okay? You're amazing." Hermione nodded.
"Harry…"
"Yes, Hermione?"
"I need you to listen to me. There are some things that need to be taken care of. Do you think you should write it down?" Harry shrugged, unsure, and Hermione, smiling gently had him charm the pen and notepad on the table by her bed to copy down any directions.
"Okay," Hermione took a deep breath, "Tell my boss that my next four reports are saved on my computer, and that the rough drafts for the two following those are on there as well, as well as some general notes for the ones following those two." Harry marveled at his wives' dedication to her work even in her last moments, and, knowing how important this was to her, dared not stop her.
"Tim's birthday present is hidden in our closet. Tell him that Aunt Hermione is so proud of him for making the top of his class, but she expects him to also have some fun now and then. Even I had fun, thanks to you and Ron" Hermione smiled with a twinkle in her eye.
"Tell Ron I love him, so much. I never told him that I was sorry for what happened in our sixth year," Harry opened his mouth to ask what she was talking about, but Hermione ginger placed a finger over his lips, "He'll know. Tell him to always treat Luna like the beautiful woman she is, just like you always did for me. And, please Harry, tell him that I will miss him so much, and that I only wish him happiness."
"Tell Ginny that I would consider it a personal favor if she didn't make Luna wear one of those hideous purple bridesmaids dresses that she wants for her wedding. Also, lend her my red garter from our wedding as her something borrowed. It's with my veil next to our old Hogwarts things." She looked at Harry pointedly and he nodded.
"Now you," Hermione began, and Harry began to pay special attention. "I know you hate it, but be sure to clean out the refrigerator now and then. Please don't eat anything that looks suspicious, and don't let Ron, either, if he's helping you. And, when you are ready, donate whatever clothes you don't want to keep in memory of me to the little homeless shelter about ten blocks away from our house, okay?"
"Yes, Hermione." Harry smiled for her.
"I trust you." Harry nodded.
"Harry?" Hermione asked again, looking down at her wedding band.
"Yes?"
"I'm scared." Hermione whispered, before breaking into quiet sobs.
Harry got up and lay down on the bed behind her, gingerly holding her frail body in his arms. Hermione turned her head to face his, crying on his shoulder for a few minutes before sniffling and continuing on. "Tell everyone that I love them, and check up on Ron and my parents. Ron and my father will pretend to be strong, but it will be hard for them to heal, and my mother will busy herself with a lot of things and then break down. If you ever need someone to talk to, go to her, because it will help you to talk, and it will help her to know that she is not alone. Though, don't leave Ron out, because you two need to be there for each other. Two pieces of three." She thought for a moment. "There's one more thing."
"Yes?"
"When you are ready, and only when you are ready, there is something I want you to have in my bottom dresser drawer. You'll know what it is when you see it. The combination is 3-29-9, okay? Three. Twenty-nine. Nine. Do not take it out until you think you are ready."
Harry nodded. "Three. Twenty-nine. Nine."
"I love you, Harry."
"I love you, too, Hermione. I always will, no matter what." Harry reassured her.
This comment seemed to make Hermione think and Harry watched as her mind worked for a moment, placing the memory of her brows furrowing firmly in his mind. "Harry. I want you to know that if you ever fall in love again, I want you to marry her. And, if you and your bride are at an appropriate age, I want you to have kids, okay? I always knew you would make an excellent father."
"You know I couldn't do that Hermione." Harry shook his head. He loved only her. There was no one else.
"Please, Harry. Promise me that you will. If it makes you feel better, you can name your first daughter Hermione or something. Or Danielle. I always liked the name Danielle. Just promise me that you wont turn the possibility down if it's knocking on your door, okay? Promise me. I want you to have a family. I want you to be happy."
Harry, despite himself, nodded, knowing he could never say no when looking into her eyes, and forced himself to take a picture of them in his mind forever. He could drown in their beauty. "I Promise."
"And Harry?"
"Yes?"
"Could you kiss me?"
Harry didn't answer but rather did as his wife requested. He was careful and gently, not wanting to hurt her, but at the same time needing her more than ever. As they kissed they both knew it was they last time that they would ever truly kiss each other, and they made it gentle and passionate; forceful and tender. They engraved this kiss into their memories, and when their lungs forced them to part, it was with great reluctance, savoring the feel of their lips together.
They both lay there silently. Harry wished that time could just stop and he could hold her forever, but he knew time was running thin. "Hermione?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry a couldn't save you."
"I'm sorry I couldn't use my eyes."
Harry struggled a moment before speaking again, "Would it be horrible of me to ask you to do something for me?"
Hermione shook her head. "Anything you want, love."
Harry spoke, slightly shyly, "Could you… could you say hello to my parents and Sirius for me?"
Hermione smiled, "I'll do it the very first second I can."
Harry let his thoughts roll around in his head for a moment. "A very selfish part of me wishes that I could die with you."
"A very selfish part a me wishes the same thing. Though I suppose it would be better to wish I could stay alive with you instead." There was a pause in the air.
"I love you."
"I love you."
They each choked on their words. Harry spoke again. "I'm really going to miss you Hermione. You're my everything."
"I'm really going to miss you, too, Harry." Hermione didn't bother holding back her tears, now falling freely.
Neither of them knew how much time went by as they lay there in each other's arms, but neither of them wanted it to end. As Hermione cried silently, sniffling occasionally, neither of them spoke a word. They needed to tell themselves that things were okay, that as long as they held each other, if they didn't say anything, this would go away. At the same time, everything that needed to be said had been said, and anything else was left out, because this precious time of silence was everything in the world to the young couple. Finally, Hermione spoke.
"Harry it's time." She turned to him, the look in her eyes taking away any doubt he had about what she meant. Harry was surprised at her calm words, and didn't want to let her go.
"How can you tell?"
"I feel it."
"I'm not ready, though." Harry pleaded.
"I'm not either." Hermione whispered. "But, I have to go. I'm not able to stay."
"Hermione, I want you to know that you never gave up on me, okay?" Harry reassured her.
Hermione nodded. "And you didn't fail me, okay?" Harry nodded. Hermione hesitated before asking, "Can you smile for me?"
Harry tried his very best, thinking of how much he admired his wife, the love of his life. He used every fiber in his being to pull the corners of his lips apart, his eyes bloodshot.
When Hermione placed that image in her memory, she smiled for him, and he engraved the memory as well.
"I love you."
"I love you." They knew they'd never say it to each other again.
Hermione waited again one last time before speaking, her words barely at a whisper, her breathing difficult, "Can I go now?" she asked.
Harry struggled with himself. He had faced Voldemort, hundreds of death eaters, and none of it even compared to how hard this was. How could he tell the love of his life that he was ready to let her go? Harry stumbled over the word in his mind, but once he saw the pain in her eyes, and the struggle she was going through, he knew what his answer would be.
"Yes," Harry finally whispered, not letting tears come. Not yet, when he could still hold her in his arms.
"Hold my hand," Hermione instructed, and Harry did. She gave him a kiss on his cheek before laying back and closing her eyes. "See you later." She whispered.
Harry smiled through his pain and kissed her on the forehead. "See you later." He stroked her cheek with his hand until less than a minute later he felt her small hand go limp in his own.
It was only then that Harry Potter allowed himself to cry.
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A/N: So…what do you think? Anyway, no, this is not the end, and the epilogue should be posted later this week, so review and get updates! :)
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