A/N: In this chapter I'm going to try something new. I hope you don't get confused!! It should be relatively easy to follow. Sorry it took so long in the update, and that its so short, I haven't had much time to write and I ended it where I thought it appropriate. R&R! A Review a day keeps the doctor away! I've had 1742 hits and 20 reviews total! Please, for the other 1722 of you who didn't review…please do! Enjoy!
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
- "I will remember you", Sarah McLaughlin
On the ride back to Harry's flat, the car was silent. Hermione hadn't cried since the visit with her now deceased mother, but she hadn't spoken much either. Harry, as soon as he saw her, knew that something had happened.
Harry looked up as soon as he heard the door handle move, Hermione appearing through the doorway. A nurse nearly shoved her out of the way. To Harry, Hermione looked as if she had just walked out of a nightmare. She looked lost…something was wrong. Instinctively Harry rose and hurried over to her, pulling her into a big bear hug. He didn't ask, he knew she would tell him when the time came. Ron and Luna sat near Ginny and Lavender who had arrived while Hermione was in visiting her mother. They sat watching the scene unfold, none knowing quite what to do.
Harry pulled back and looked at Hermione. He noticed how she shied away from his stare.
" Hermione?" He asked quietly. She looked at him, tearing her gaze from the ugly moose picture hanging on the wall.
" She left me, Harry." Hermione said, answering the unspoken question. Harry knew what she meant, she didn't have to say anything else.
" Come on, lets get you home."
" My dad…"
" The doctors said he wont wake up tonight, they gave him some heavy sedatives. You need rest." Harry insisted gently, helping her down the hall. Ron followed, and soon after so did the three other women. He caught up with Harry as he was helping Hermione into his car.
" Harry mate, what should we do?" he asked, nodding towards Lavender, Ginny and Luna, all who stood near a column, talking quietly.
" Be there for her, Ron, that's all. Her mom died, in case you haven't guessed, and something went on in that room that really upset her. If you could, could you get Ginny to come by soon with some clothes for her and Crookshanks or something? I don't want to leave her alone right now. I have to work tomorrow, but if you could drop by on your lunch hour or have Ginny and Luna bring her to lunch or tea or something, anything really, I'd be really happy." Harry asked, leaning against the car. Ron nodded.
" I'll do my best mate. Gets some rest, you look awful."
" Thanks Ron." Harry replied with a small, sarcastic smile and slid into his car.
Harry was content to sit in silence, satisfied that Hermione would tell him what was bothering her so much ( her mothers death aside) when she felt it right. What made him jump out of his skin was the sudden explosion from the woman sitting next to him.
" She KNEW she was going to die!"
Harry nearly swerved off the road because of Hermione's sudden outburst.
" What?" he asked, slightly bewildered.
" She knew she was going to die. She told me…" Hermione said a lot quieter than before. " She told me she had a dream….Remus looked charming…we were getting married…Dad walked me down the isle…Ginny was my bridesmaid…"
" What? Your mom had a dream we were getting married?" asked a slightly shocked Harry. Hermoine nodded feebly.
" Yeah, then she said, ` Oh, I wish I could be there..'. Then she told me she was dying…HOW COULD SHE JUST GIVE UP?" Hermione yelled angrily, pounding the seat.
" I don't think she gave up-"
" She DID, Harry… she didn't try to fight it. She wanted to go, she said she wasn't afraid…But what about me? Dad? She just left us here." Hermione said, angry tears spilling down her nose and cheeks.
" She didn't leave you, 'Mione, and you know it. Dumbledore once said, ` Death is but another adventure to the organized mind' or something of the sort. Your mother was an amazing woman, and I only knew her for a year or so. She loved you and your father more than anything in the world, she would never leave you, love. "
There was complete silence once again that lasted the rest of the drive. Hermione got out of Harry's car as if in a trance, allowing Harry to shuttle her onto the couch. He cooked up some hot chicken soup and poured two bowls, bringing them in on a tray to the living room.
" Here," he said, handing her a bowl, " eat this. It'll warm you up."
There were moments where the only sound was the spoons hitting the glass bowls and some quiet slurping of broth.
" I miss her so much." Hermione said on her second bowl. Harry paused mid-sip.
" She's your mom, of course you're going to miss her." Harry replied cautiously, setting the empty bowl on the coffee table.
"She's only been…dead," Hermione nearly choked on the last word, "for a couple of hours. I mean…I cant believe it but in some weird way I know its true. It hasn't hit me yet."
"I know how you feel, to some extent. You feel like their going to walk through the door any moment and yell `Surprise!' and have a good laugh."
" Right." Hermione said simply. There was silence. "Is it wrong to not cry?"
Harry looked at her for a second before responding.
" No, its not wrong. I think, knowing your mom, she would rather you not cry and instead just remember what you shared with her- all your memories and such."
Ginny stopped by later that day with some clothes for Hermoine and some butterbeer for Harry. Hermoine was napping when
she stopped by so she stayed for a little while to chat with her friend.
"How's she doing?" she said quietly, looking at Hermoine's slumbering figure on the couch. Harry sighed and rubbed his face.
"As well as can be expected…you know our Hermoine. She puts up these walls, pretends everything's okay….She's going to make herself sick. I already owled her boss and asked for a few days off. Thankfully, she understood and agreed to let Hermoine have a week off to sort out her parents affair and arrange for her mothers funeral."
"She wont be too happy about that." Ginny replied, taking a mug of coffee offered by Harry. "We know Hermoine, she'll fight her way to the office."
"I know, that's why I called in re-enforcements. Gregory, my boss ya' know, is being a pain in my ass and wont let me take a few days off…needs me to do all his dirty work for him. Ron said he'd stop by when he doesn't have practice and Lavender agreed to keep an eye on her and maybe take her shopping or something." Harry sighed, sitting himself at the table.
"I'll take her to lunch or something, my treat." Ginny offered.
"That'd be great, thanks Gin." There was a comfortable silence in the kitchen, the sound of the fire warming the room.
"I wish she'd talk to me about it though…." Harry burst out, frustrated, after a moment of silence. Ginny looked up from the coffee mug.
"If she'd talk to anyone, it'd be you Harry." She gave him a small smile before draining the liquid and saying goodbye.
Harry sat in an armchair next to the sofa where Hermoine napped, staring into the flames. He reflected on the many times Hermoine had been his support system during school, trying to remember what she told him when someone he loved died. He remembered her being their for him and being able to predict his every thought. He knew he couldn't even try to imagine what Hermoine thought about, he'd drive himself insane or into a coma, but he knew what he had to do. He'd offer small signs of comfort and just…be there for her. He wasn't going to leave her….she wouldn't be alone. He knew the feeling and he'd rather die than let Hermoine feel that loneliness that he felt.
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