Hermione turned around, only to find that she was being watched. She jumped, frightened by the green eyes that stared back at her.
"Hey Harry," she said shakily, biting her lower lip as she did so.
"Hermione, it's nice to see you and all, but did you need to break into my apartment?" He spoke softly, almost as if he thought if he yelled he would wake up and find she was just a dream, a very bad one. A flash of lightening illuminated the room, making his face look menacing. He watched her intently, stepping into the room.
Stepping far too close for comfort.
He hadn't changed much in appearance. Hermione could still see the faint lightening bolt on his forehead and his unruly black hair was still impossible to manage. He still towered over her, not in height, but she still felt slightly intimidated by his presence, taking an unconscious step back from him.
"I…I needed a place to stay…"
She cursed herself for being so unsure of herself. She had planned that she would get into his apartment and wait for him to get home. He'd come in, see her sitting there waiting for him and everything would be alright, just like it was in the movies. It was at the last minute when she had heard his keys turn in the lock; she had begun to doubt her foolish plan. Filled with nervousness and sheer idiocy, she had run into the nearest room: his bedroom. Realising seconds before getting caught that she needed a new hiding spot she had bolted into the living room and into the study was standing in now.
"You know I do have door. If you wanted a place to stay, all you had to do was knock on it and ask nicely," he muttered harshly. He shook his head in exasperation.
"I thought you might turn me down."
Hermione was proud that her voice sounded almost normal.
"And this stunt wouldn't get you kicked out? Hermione, even after all these years, I'd never turn you down!"
"It's been so long Harry. I don't know you anymore."
"Don't say that."
Harry grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently.
"No, you were the one who left and expected us to clean up after your mess. While you hid from what happened, the rest of us grew up and moved on. I don't have nightmares anymore Harry but I know you do. I don't regret the past or try to forget what really occurred. Sure, I didn't go through what you went through but I was there. You gave up Harry. You let me down and you let down Ron."
He sighed, frowning and turning his back on her.
"Let it drop Hermione. How long do you need to stay for?"
Hermione looked up from the ground, startled. She smiled.
"Um…A couple of weeks. Just until I find a place of my own to live," she said.
With a slight nod, Harry left the room and walked to the kitchen. He began rummaging through the fridge, pulling out large quantity of food.
"Hungry are we?"
That won her a smile.
"Yeah, I had a long day."
She nodded wearily, agreeing with him. She then went over to a couch and flopped onto it, glad to finally have her feet off the ground. Hermione listened to the familiar sounds of a person working in a kitchen and watched the storm through the window in front of her.
It wasn't long until Harry joined her, forcing her to move over so he could sit down. The two of them sat with their feet on a coffee table eating sweets.
She glanced at him, curious to know what he was thinking. She could hear his voice, but it was only blurred murmur and she wasn't following what he was saying. She was tired and she was with Harry. In the back of her mind, Hermione knew she was playing with fire but was too tired to care. For now, she and Harry were ignoring what happened between them and until the time came when they decided to address the issue, she planned on pretending that she was seventeen again.
………………………………………………………………………………………......
Harry watched her dozing. It was well and truly past midnight and probably time to wake her and send her to bed but he couldn't bring himself to disturb her. She looked so peaceful, so calm, lost in the world of dreams. Hermione had been right. She didn't get the nightmares anymore, he could see that. He still had nightmares, another point for her side, which to him meant that she still knew him despite what she said.
He wondered if she understood how true her words had been. Harry Potter was a coward; a self-centred, selfish coward. He had lost so much in ten years in his desperate attempt to find happiness and escape from a world where everyone knew his name. He liked being anonymous, feeling secure in his own home. He liked not having cameras in his face or people like Rita Skeeter sticking their nose in things that had nothing to do with them.
Hermione shifted, drawing his unfocused gaze back to her. She had stayed behind and battled on, even after the battle was over. He had kept in touch with the wizarding world every now and then, watching Hermione's campaign in the Daily Prophet, being over-joyed for her when she had gotten the job of Minister of Magic. He'd been immensely interested in articles about her, some of them notifying her brilliant work, however, most of them degrading her position. He could understand her weariness, the deep sunken look under her eyes. He knew why she had such a gaunt face, why she looked like she was on the verge of collapse. Harry had heard about alligations that she was becoming an embarrassment for the Ministry, knew about all the plots against her and the black-mailing and corruption within her Cabinet. He had been concerned about her safety and state of mind, even more so when someone had tried to kill her. He had been so tempted to run out of hiding and be Harry the Hero again, to rescue his damsel in distress and shelter her from the big bad world. Of course, the temptation had been an unrealistic idea. Hermione was a big girl; she could stand on her own two feet. She had a husband to take care of her, to protect her and encourage her not to give up. She would not appreciate him coming to help, or to interfere as she would put it. It didn't matter if he was just trying to be a friend. He had lost her the day he had walked away from his life, her life…
…Their life
He had loved her. Loved her more then anyone he had ever cared about before. She had been someone he could confide in, someone who didn't judge him because he was who he was. She saw the insecure boy that he was and taught him to achieve, to never give up, but most of all, to believe in himself.
She had been a best friend, almost like a sister, the one person who knew how to get on his nerves, how to make him smile. She had scolded him, mothered him and stood up for him. She had been one person he could relate to. For a short time, he had been completely hers until he had lost her to Ron.
It had been heart breaking to watch her go. To know that he could never have her had torn him to pieces and was ultimately the reason he had packed up and walked away. He seemed to be trapped in a never ending void. He had been stuck in reality but he could say or do nothing but watch his life and the people he treasured slip through his fingers.
It was time for a change, a drastic one. It was time that he moved on. He knew that Hermione had a long time ago and so had Ron. He was the only one left that was stuck in the past, reliving the horrific times in his sleep.
He was grateful that Hermione had turned up at his doorstep asking for help, because by doing so, she had made him realise that he needed some help too.
The only question was how.
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